Tom Riddle and the Snorelacks


I now have a Beta! The chapters won't be quite as fast, but the quality will increase a lot. Actually this was Beta pretty dang fast it's more discussing the story with someone that takes the time. Big thanks to my Beta! Your awesome!

And I have a poll up about the story! Go vote!


It was almost summer, which meant that the greatest field trip in the world was nearing. Sadly Exam Week was coming before summer.

A Weasley

Septimus Weasley, and what a weird name that was, sat in a chair staring at his Divination's Professor. The very same Divination Professor that was supposed to be testing him. Said Professor was sitting on a cushion, on his desk with his legs crossed, hands on his knees with his palms up and his middle finger touching his thumb. His eyes were closed.


"Shh!" Professor Potter whispered furiously.

Septimus was silent. Time passed and he was just about to get up and leave when his Professor spoke.

"What number am I thinking of?"

Septimus blinked.

"I don't know..."

The Professor opened his eyes.

"You're not very good at this are you? I was thinking of 7."

"Oh…What does this have to do with Divination?"

Harry blinked.

"Who said this had anything to do with Divination?"

"Err… It's the Owls test? Sir?"

"Oh that! Why in the world would you think you needed to show up for this test?"


"It is acknowledged I am a seer yes?"


"So I already know how your going to not do on your test, because I have already seen your grade in my 'oh so powerful' inner eye."


"Or I'm lying and I'm grading my students solely on how much I like them and their entrainment value."

Septimus blinked.

"So did you get that permission form signed yet?"

"Um not yet…I'm waiting to hear back from my folks, I did send it."

"Good, good."

Harry closed his eyes again.

"Sir where are we going on this trip?"

"Somewhere awesome Mr. Weasley. I foresee much awesomeness. What grade do you foresee yourself getting ?"

"Um…Exceeds Expectations?" The red head said hopefully he could really use another OWL.

Harry nodded.

"And so it shall be, done. Leave now."

"Err…OK? Thank you? Good bye?"

"Good bye ."

A Malfoy

Abraxas Malfoy another weird name, took a sit across from his Professor wearily. It seemed that almost every time he had spoken with his Professor, that man had alluded to Abraxas's future which would had been fine, if not for that fact that the seer appeared to foresee that Abraxas would die young, his son would be evil, and his grandson would be a git, an unveil git, but a git all the same.

It could be worse of course. He could die without children ending the Malfoy line, or his son could marry a mudblood, or lose all of their money somehow. Even so it was still a bit uncomfortable being around the man.

At least his Professor looked somewhat normal. He was in his chair for once and he was drinking tea. Abraxas relaxed slightly. He was surprisingly good at making out shapes in the m-... Reading teas, was the proper term. It was rather horrifying to think his batty Professor was leaving any impression on him at all.

"Abraxas, go fetch a tea pot."

Abraxas blinked, unsure if he was to be offended that he had called by his first name, offended by the fact he had been told to 'fetch' anything, or baffled by the fact that he needed a tea pot when his Professor already had a tea pot full of tea, was already drinking tea, and had a spare cup sat out which he had assumed was for himself.

"A red one."

Really, red? Potter was doing this on purpose no doubt, however there was a slight chance that Tom would force him to go on this trip thing the crazy Professor had dreamed up, and so Abraxas decided it would be for his own best interest to just get the tea pot. Once he got the tea pot and placed it down on his teacher's desk, he raised a superior eyebrow.

"The tea leaves are in the pink box."

Disbelief. Was he actually forcing him to make his own tea? He had House elves for that sort of thing! Potter must have caught on to his expression because he spoke.

"Many things are made more powerful because they are done by hand. Take one of the mortar and pestles and lightly crush the leaves."

It was infuriating to have to obey the man. He was a Malfoy, and the Professor never had any of them make their own teas before. To save time the man had always had large pots of tea already ready, at each table where they could pour some into their cups and either drink it or vanish it to stare at the small dregs at the bottom. You didn't get as much of the dregs when one pot was used for two or more tea cups.

When he was done his teacher refilled his own cup and gave Abraxas one as well.

"Tell me if you were a seer and could see many useless things, most of which were impossible to be sure about. What would you do?"

"Well…" He said after a moment trying to think of something to say to answer that without making any common noises of one who doesn't know how to react.

"Do you know what I would do? I would mess with people's heads and make them do utterly pointless things. I already know what you're going to see in that tea cup and I know because I frustrated you, you are going to misinterpret something and therefore would receive only an acceptable. Of course I also know if I hadn't made you do something you believe is below yourself you would have made an O, but only because I picked tea leaves."

Harry smiled pleasantly.

"If I picked the crystal ball you would make a P and if I picked palm reading and asked you certain things you would make a D, but if I asked other things you would make an E."

"I-You!" The blond didn't seem able to make up his mind between shocked or furious, or was it a bit of both.

"Which is why the very idea of having an Exam in this subject is silly. Even if I pick a standard test I can't stop myself from playing favorites. Which is why I am giving grades based on how much I like my students and how much they entertain me. Now I don't dislike you, but I don't like you either. Would you like a grade based on how much you entrained me or would you like to try and read your tea cup now that you are frustrated and angry?"

With an undignified yell of outrage Malfoy threw his tea cup and it shattered against the wall. This cut through his outrage fairly quickly because it was most un-Malfoyish thing he had ever done since he was two.

Harry blinked.

"Congratulations on receiving extra credit! I was going to give you an A, but that bumped the entrainment value of this up to an E. I don't suppose you would like to sing or dance and move this up to an O?"

Face now very pink, Abraxas fled the room and his Professor passing a very curious Tom in the hall just outside the classroom.

Harry stuck his head out the door.

"Ah Tom, the exact time I told you to be here. Amazing how much I can 'see' when I'm the one that makes the test and dismisses the students. Come in and ignore the broken cup on the floor. I'm afraid we shall never interpret those tea leaves, at least not properly."

For several moments Tom stared at his Professor. When it appeared the Professor had absolutely no intention to clarify anything, Tom entered the classroom only giving the smallest of glances to the destroyed tea cup.

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