Who Is She

Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Cassandra Clare owns everything but the plot.

Clary: Bold

Johnathan normal

Jace italic :)

Wednesday afternoon came too quickly for my liking, I would be rather be on my way to the gym rather than being stuck here in this stupid school`s changing rooms stalling for time before I have to go out there and make an ass out of myself in front of what I only just realized, a whole group of guys and no girls. Seriously what the hell did coach think when he signed me up for this.

Sighing I grab my iPod and begrudgingly shuffle outside scuffing my shoes on the way out wondering if using the excuse it`s my time of the month to leave and go to the gym, when I get out onto the track everybody else is there including Jace who just turns away and starts a conversation with the guy beside him.

Hi to you too then, I think plugging my iPod in and walking to the back of the groups to do the warm ups my dad and I used to do before and after each running session, I'm a quarter way through one of them when coach waddles up clip board in hand smiling too brightly for it to look anyway natural.

"You came, well done smart move. To be honest I thought I`d have to give you the detentions so you`d be here but there you go, you`re already proving me wrong" he says grinning at me like he`s the inventor and I'm some toy all the kiddies will want for Christmas.

I don't stop doing my warm up but say; "Why exactly didn't you tell me that this was an all-male running team? Why did I have to find out when I entered the girls changing room that they were all there for cheer leading? Why in the name of god are you making me do this?" I ask I stretch out my quad muscles.

Coach just stares at me, coughs something then turns away and walks away looking down at his clipboard, I feel bad lashing out at him but I can`t help it it`s just a habit when I'm in a bad mood. Sighing I make sure my laces are tied then walk over to coach tap him on the shoulder then take a step back as he turns again.

"I-I'm sorry about what I just said, when I'm angry I'm not exactly in control of my mouth, I just got freaked that I'm the only girl in this team. You`ve got to understand that that is a little intimidating and I took my fear out on you, so I'm sorry and can we start again."

Coach gives me a genuine smile says; "Welcome to the team, you`ll be grand" then indicates everybody should come in closer. We all huddle together to listen what coach has to say to us.

"Right today we are going to do relays, teams of five you know your places, Jace you show where Clary has to go she`ll be the other teams sprinter everybody else break into the teams you were in on Monday and we`ll start"

I leave the huddle nervous again but also excited to see if I can do this again, I smile at coach who smiles back in encouragement as I turn and follow Jace who is walking on without looking back to see if I'm following.

I stop for a second and just look at the back of him and start thinking, he`s acting like this because of the kiss, you should just leave him alone and forget we ever did what we did

Sighing I speed up and catch up with him and walk silently beside him wondering if I should say anything to him to kill the awkward silence that has developed between us. As I'm about to ask him some stupid question I already know the answer to, he stops and points at this orange cone.

"This is your starting point, you can`t move from this until the baton is in your hand and if you do it`s automatic expulsion from the race." He simply says then goes to walk away, I stop him though by saying; "You don't have to feel bad about what happened." Making Jace stiffen up but not turn around which worries me even more so I say; "I had something to do with it too and yet I didn't stop you' I snort shaking my head "Hell I probably encouraged you, the thing is though I think you`re blaming yourself for what happened and that`s just plain dumb"

Jace still hasn't turned around yet I can`t move from my spot either but the words keep spilling out though I'm whispering as the coach fixes up peoples places. "You shouldn't be blaming yourself because it was equally my fault. I just want us to go back to the way we were before, you being Jonathan`s clown of a friend and me the willing outcast who can swing a point when needs be"

This gets Jace turning and different emotions fly across his eyes before I can comprehend any of them except one, anger pure white hot anger which is taking him completely over. I take a step back as he comes towards me towering over me.

"Let me make this crystal clear for the both of us, I was so out if myself that I thought it`d be grand to kiss a pathetic excuse for a teenage girl like you with hair that looks like a hornets' nest every day and a body that no guy would honestly want, why in my right mind would I kiss somebody like that when I could get any cute girl in this school and other" he snarls the last bit glaring at me.

I stand there numb, no guy has ever talked to me this way and it hurts, not a ouch banged my foot against the door it`ll hurt for a few minutes, not even 'Oh my god you can see the bone of your foot you must be in agony' pain. This pain came in like fog making everything murkier and hard to see through also cold. Cold like there would be no tomorrow and that you`ll never see the sun again, that sort of pain.

I bite down on my lip to stop the tears, I turn and fled to the starting line and grab my bottle of water and my hoodie off of the training kit bag, coach comes over and probably says something but I'm trying so hard not to cry that I just ignore him and run towards the school refusing to cry until I'm out of the grounds.

In the changing rooms I grab my bag yank it open stuff my things in then flee the room sprinting to the entrance like there is no tomorrow because right now it doesn't feel like there will. I get out to the Jeep and blank, ripping out a copy page I scribble an excuse slap it onto the windscreen securing it with the wipers then take off not even caring where I'm going just letting the tears fall blearing my vision.

When I'm too tired to run anymore I slow down wipe my eyes and blow my nose looking at where I've ended up. The local library, I sniff smiling a little at the irony at that. When I was younger and angry at anything I used to either go into the small tree house my dad and uncle built me when I was four or the local library and loose myself in a good book for a few hours.

Wiping the last tear away I jog up the steps and enter the library smiling at the librarian on duty who smiles kindly back at me, I take a look around before choosing one and sitting down on a bean bag to be emerged into a tale about how love is a disease that can now be cured.

It had to be done, I couldn't have her having her having an ounce of liking to me anymore it`d be too hard to concentrate on what is important here, my friendship with Jonathan. Yet it kills me inside to see her heart breaking and being the cause of her pain. Sighing shaking my head I run over to coach and give some petty excuse why she had to go.

After a deathly slow training I'm out of the showers waiting at the jeep for the other to come from their respected sports activities, I get outside to the jeep before the others and there taped to the windscreen is a hasty note just saying that Clary left to go home because she was ill and didn't want to bother anybody. I crumble up the note just as the guys come out from the school.

I smile a fake smile as they come out and laugh and joke around getting into the car with them, cracking jokes or snide comments whenever the opportunity arises. Jonathan starts the car then says; "Guys I've got some very good news that you all will like very much indeed" he says trying to look all mysterious, we laugh at his face causing him to stick his tongue at us. "What`s the surprise then?" Kyle asks after the laughter has died down making us all turn and look at Jonathan expectantly.

He grins and says; "My Dad is taking Jocelyn out on some important dinner on Friday to some hotel a million miles away and I may or may not have asked to have a party, my answer was as long we don't get hammered and mind Clary it`s ok, also you guys can stay the whole weekend, if you want" he adds in.

It`s met with whoops me included, a party will be a great excuse for me to stop thinking about Clary and go for a girl that is available and has no drama`s in the package. I say I can go then sing along to the cheesy song on the radio taking up my part as we have pre-determined last time this song came on the radio.

I get home and Jocelyn is cooking again in the kitchen but looks up when she hears the door unlocked and she smiles up at me then frowns slightly, "Where`s Clary? I thought she had track today, why isn't she with you?" she`s looking at me with the first signs of panic in her eyes and I can`t help but panic a little too.

"I thought she was going to that gym thing." I say feeling guilty for not knowing where she is even though it was never assigned to me like a mission out of COD or something, Jocelyn grabs her phone and rings Clary`s number sheer panic on her face.

Her head snaps up when the front door opens and there she is placing her keys in the bowl her school bag on her back plugged into her iPod. Jocelyn puts her hands on her hips and raises a perfectly sculptured eyebrow over to her daughter who just stares back at her.

"Where were you and why didn't you come home with your brother like you were supposed to?" she says in a deathly calm voice which is starting to freak the holy crap out of me. She just shakes her head and says; "I was at the library actually, also he is not my brother no matter how much you want us to be some happy families, he has another mother just like I've a different dad to him. So excuse me if I call him Jonathan and not big brother." She sighs "Look I was just coming back to say I want to go on a run before dinner so I'm putting my bag here and I`ll be back later so start dinner without me because I'm going for a long one through some of the back fields. I've got my phone, bye" she says before dashing out the door before either of us can say anything.

I don't know what had gotten into me back there but it was the truth so I wasn't go back on it, after warming up I take a left and head away from the town, as I got there I just concentrated on the music letting my feet do all of the hard work for me not caring where I'm going just enjoying the burn in my legs as I run.

I get to a gate and look out over it to an empty field and a dense amount of trees, looking out at It reminds me of all the times me and my dad used to run in the fields behind our old farmhouse on the outskirts of Dublin. Smiling I open the gate and tear off down the field just letting every bad thing go and enjoying right now, I start laughing at the sheer thrill of feeling free and being in the open closing in to my goal of the trees that look like a little crowd waiting to hug me when I finish.

I sprint the last bit laughing and shouting at the top of my lungs for the first time in ages knowing nobody will hear me and judge me about it.

I get to the trees an stop gulping in deep breaths of fresh air into my lungs relishing the burn in my legs which means that I've been doing something right, I take my earphones out for a minute and just listen to the sounds of the birds tweeting, the tree branches knocking together in the little breeze that has brushed past it me like a whips of breath on the back of my neck.

Something catches my ears attention and soon I can hear the steady trickle of a water somewhere off in this little valley of trees, throwing caution to the wind I take off jogging off heading towards the noise wondering what it is.

After battling through some stubborn branches and them giving me battle wounds I come into a clearing and gasp, the trees open up to this lovely little stream that seems content to flow just slow enough for you to enjoy paddling in it if you want to, there is also a little stone that looks comfortable for you to sit down if you want to sit and just relax.

I sit down but continue to look around then burst out crying, now I'm not one to cry without reason so for me to start crying now was totally unexpected and unwanted. "What the hell is wrong with me?" I wonder out loud, drying my eyes on the sleeve of the running jacket. You know why you`re crying don't be gullible Clary. Jace upset you and you`ve kept in until now so cry and stop asking questions my father`s voice says in my head.

I snort and whisper "Thanks dad" before shoving my shoes off and dipping my feet into the freezing water relishing the coolness and singing along to my music knowing nobody will hear me so why hold back? After an half hour I shove my feet into the trainers again then take off sprinting through the field promising myself that I`ll come back this time with a book and food so I can stay longer this time.

I push myself until I'm gasping in front of my front door, knocking on the door takes the last of my energy and I stand there holding onto the door for support until someone opens it and I'm flung through the front door. I've no time to think just use my momentum to flip myself so I end up on my back looking at the ceiling gasping for breath.

"Holy crap, Clary you ok?" says a figure towering over me staring down at me blocking my view of the ceiling, I look up and see Valentine looking worriedly at me, I jump up dust myself off smile then say; "I'm grand Valentine don't worry, I'm going for a shower then going to do my homework" I shuffle past him then sprint up the stairs ignoring my screaming pain in my legs then run into my room slamming the door behind me.

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