Here you go and I hope you enjoy.
Thanks to all that have reviewed, Followed etc, means a lot.
Shout out to MusciallyChallenged who is the best beta in the whole universe.
Hope you enjoy the chapter.
As I try get over my mini heart attack caused by Tessa, Valentine rises from his chair grinning like a four year old announcing he got a ten on a spelling test, he looks down at my mother who is beaming up at him like, well like a love stricken teenager in her first relationship.
He grins down at Jocelyn then looks back to all of us bystanders and says rising his glass of red wine; "Jocelyn Fairchild, this lovely sexy women…" my mouth drops and I can't help but shout "That "Sexy women's" child is sitting three places away and she really didn't need to know about that!"
Everyone laughs and Valentine has the decency to look embarrassed like he should be before coughing awkwardly then continuing saying; "As I was saying, this women to which when she enters the room everything else looks grey and dull compared to her, the voice that can cheer me up in an instant has done me the greatest honour possible"
He looks down again at Jocelyn again then mumbles out; "She has agreed to marry me." Before taking Mum into his arms and kissing her.
I don't remember much after that, I remember Charlotte and Tessa squealing and getting up to congratulate both of them, I know somebody was saying my name but to me it was coming out blurry and distant. I was frozen to my chair trying to figure out how in the hell to the process what has just occurred.
Just as I'm coming to terms with it and trying to push down the anger that's bubbling up my mother turns around practically glowing and gushes; "I also have an announcement I haven't even told Valentine yet." Valentine's eyebrows burrow together and despite the fact that honestly Valentine is a nice enough guy, I'm hoping my mother has some scandalous reason she can't marry Valentine and she and I have to leave this house right now and never come back.
"I'm pregnant!" she shouts laughing as the girls hug her again squealing and throwing questions at her like arrows to a board. Valentine looks like a ghost, pale faced eyes wide he stares at Jocelyn then whispers "Are you sure?" It's quiet obvious he hopes it's true but doesn't want to jinx it.
Jocelyn just laughs and says;"Yeah it's true, you're going to be a dad!" she laughs and shrieks as he picks her up and spins her around in a circle. "How long have you known?" he asks a look of pure excitement on his face.
"About three hours now..." she says sheepishly as Valentine's mouth drops open like a fish out of water. This is the straw that breaks the camel's back as they say. I stand up my chair flying to the wall and crashing into it causing a loud crash causing everybody to jump, I don't care I'm too busy staring at Jocelyn who looks worriedly back at me.
"When were you going to tell me about this" I say in a surprisingly calm voice, Jace who up till now has been silent throughout of this whole revelation puts his hand on my shoulder and says; "Clary, Clary come on calm down."
I shove his hand away and continue to look at Jocelyn who is fidgeting now wrapped in Valentine's arms, "Well?" I ask refusing to break eye contact with her, she fidgets again and then comes towards me.
"Clare…. You've got to understand…." She says trying to grab my hand but I flinch away, not when there is one thing that is nagging at my brain making me angrier and angrier every second I stand here.
"You weren't going to tell me until you had to" I mumble and that's when the barriers containing my anger break releasing my bottled anger.
"What the freaking hell is wrong with you!?" I scream at Jocelyn causing her to jump back in surprise eyes wide. I move closer to her still screaming; "You are pathetic! Do you hear me! Pathetic! Not a year dad has died and already you've let the first guy to promise not to let you go screw you over!" I scream to her who has scrambled back a few inches panic clear in her eyes now.
I know I should stop, I know I'm hurting her when I should be over the moon for her but I can't help the words pouring out of my mouth, words I've kept to myself for weeks now. "I mean Jesus mum, how about mourning first. How about mourning for the guy you conceived me with instead of crying for probably a day then finding some gullible idiot like him' I point at Valentine who looks shell shocked.
"God and then to make this "happy family" even better than it already was you had to go and get knocked up. So congratulations but you'll forgive me if I go for a run instead listen to you blab on about how he proposed and how happy he makes you."
With that I shove past Jocelyn grab my phone and IPod from the kitchen table and run out the door as Jocelyn runs out shouting my name and trying to catch my arm. I slam the door in her face and run out the driveway letting the tears fall as I make my way out of this crappy street.
I keep running my tears blurring my vision as I run god knows where but I don't stop. The better way to look at it is that I can't, not until I'm far enough away from that house that I can't feel their hooks digging their claws deeper and deeper into my already messed up life. I stop exhausted tears still streaming down my face snot dripping onto the pavement as I stop to catch my breath.
I look up and I laugh probably for the last time I will for a while. I've ended running full pelt into the town past the school and ended up in front of Luke's gym. Remembering that it's open late tonight and I have access to every facility I see no reason not to go in, wiping my eyes with my cardigan sleeve and making sure there's no cars I cross the road and enter the gym.
I enter and go straight towards the dressing rooms tending on killing as many hours possible punching things trying not to think of the loved up couple I've left at home. Sighing I punch in my locker number and grab the spare clothes I kept in there just in case I ever needed them.
Changing I leave the dressing room but not before making sure that I don't have panda eyes before I go out and be seen by people. After I'm done with that I leave the room and fast walk out of there and into the corridor which leads to the punching bags where I can, well you know, punch something.
Making sure that the room is empty I walk in close the door plug my IPod in and turn off my phone. Turning to the punching bag I wrap up my hands then start on the sequences that Luke taught me last week, ignoring anything that doesn't include me or the punching bag.
I'm so into the sequences that I don't even notice somebody opening the door and closing it again until they pipe up saying; "What did that poor punching bag ever do to you?" making me jump and turn seeing Maia leaning against the wall looking at me.
I blush slightly and say; "I didn't know you came in, sorry would've stopped" I back away from the punching bag which is swinging dangerously on its hook. Maia gets up from where she was and sits down where parents of the little kids can sit and watch their kids.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asks looking at me sincerely, I know exactly what she's on about but still have to ask; "Talk about what?" as I sit down beside her who just laughs and says "Talk about the fact that you had the angriest face which was also crying when you entered into here an hour ago."
I look down at my IPod clock and I'm surprised to see she's right, I've been here nearly two hours now just punching the bag and going through sequences trying not to let everything get to me. Laughing silently I say; "How do I know if I spill my gusts to you it won't end up on the school announcements?"
Maia just laughs holding up her left hand while putting her other hand on heart "Nearly seventeen years old scout honour. Anyways I don't go to or plan to ever go to your school, looks like a juvenile delinquent centre. Now come on because neither of us are getting any younger and you look like you need to let it out."
Shaking my head I mumble out;" My mother is pregnant." Laughing without any humour I say; "My mother is pregnant with her fiancés child. She never even thought about asking me if I was ok with what, not only was happening to her but how this is going to affect me."
Maia just stays silent letting me vent it all out. "I know I should be happy for her and I really wish I could be, yet I can't help thinking all of this is my dad. My dad who lost his life for this country, but not only that we also lost the only life that mattered to not just my mother but me."
"Now" I say and the tears are coming fast now streaming down my face as I let it all out and Maia shuffles closer to me. "Now she's engaged to some man that though is an ok guy isn't the guy that I want, I want my proper dad back. The one that woke me up at five in the morning so we could sit on the roof with hot chocolate and watch the sun rise. The one who taught me how to defend myself and if I got injured during training he was the one who sat beside me as he taught me to bind wounds."
Maia wraps her arms around me and hugs me as the tears win over and I become an emotional wreck. I sniffle and then say; "It's not that Valentine isn't a nice guy because I see the way he acts and looks at my mother and it's obvious its true love but I don't think I can forgive her."
Maia looks up from rubbing circles on my back and says; "Forgive her for what, I mean from the way you make it out to be your father died in the war which is awful, but it sounds like your mother found someone just as good and caring as your dad obviously was. So why is it so bad that she has found this Valentine, after what probably has been years of mourning for her husband."
I pull away from the hug and wipe my eyes saying; "That's the thing, she didn't mourn, I mean she mourned the day she found out and she cried when they buried his empty coffin. Yet come there weeks later she's out on dates with this Valentine guy who she thinks is lovely"
I laugh at Maia's reaction and say drily while wiping my eyes; "Yeah my reaction to. You can just imagine the joy I had when my mother agreed to move in with him down here." Getting up I unwrap my hands and yank my hat back on from it must have fallen during my workout.
Maia gets up as well and stammers out an apology. I wave it off grabbing my IPod from the bench saying; "It's not your fault my mother is dysfunctional without a man or now I'm going to have to stay here till I'm eighteen, just the way it is I suppose. Anyway I should be thanking you, I don't have any friends in this place so those emotions have been building up for some time now"
Maia just nods and then just as I'm leaving calls my name again, turning around I see her scuffing her shoes looking at the floor before saying; "We can be friends if you want, you can also tell me anything. Scouts honour"
Smiling for the first time today I say; "I'd love to. See you later Maia" then leave to have a shower before heading home to face the music. After stalling as long as I can which means I let the water run cold I get out dry off and go to get changed tying my damp hair into a bobbin and shoving it under my hat.
I walk slowly home, trying to think up a good apology but coming up blank. Before I know it I'm in my driveway and realize as I look at this too big too typical house whitewashed fences and little kids playing on the street is that I don't want to apologize. I said what I felt had to be said, if I get grounded or disowned, fine.
Not tonight though. Tonight I'm going to get into my room without people realizing and I'm going to sleep and hope that nobody thinks to look in here until tomorrow.
R&R please :)