Who Is She

Engagement Party 1

Thanks to all that have followed, Favorited etc. Means a lot.

Shout out to: My beta MusicallyChallenged.

Climbing as quietly as I can back in through the window and flop onto my bed taking a deep breath holding back any stray tears I've got.

After a while of just lying there I get off the bed and shuffle towards the bathroom sniffing slightly, standing in front of the mirror I look at the pale girl looking back at me through the mirror. Sighing I turn the hot water on and let some fall onto my face hoping that the redness in my eyes will have disappeared and I'll look like the same old angst ridden teen that I always have.

Rising up slowly letting the water drip off me into the sink I look again at the girl in the mirror. Her eyes aren't as red but yet if someone looked close enough they could obviously tell I'd been crying. Turning the water off with a sense of defeat I stumble back into my room curl into a ball on my bed and try sleep until I have to put up the mask of being a part of this happy family.

Sitting on my bed I try comprehend what I just witnessed, trying to comprehend the situation and think of something to do that will prove I'm still on her side without her getting suspicious.

I groan as the memory of what she said about me plays like a broken record in my head, "even the one person I stupidly thought I could trust went cold on me and refuses to talk to me and I have no friends." I yell in frustration throwing my pillow against the wall. How could I be so stupid, I left her the minute I thought she was getting too close to me, and yet she was only getting close because I talked to her, how could I be so bloody stupid.

A hesitant knock on my door and a "Jace?" coming from outside, alerts me to Amatis's presence. Running my hand through my hair tiredly I pick up the pillow place it on the desk and open the door slightly, there is my guardian Amatis Herondale looking at me worriedly with her blue eyes and brown hair falling out of its bun.

I plaster on a smile as I open the door for her, "Everything alright Ama?" I ask as normally as possible while inside I'm fuming at myself for letting the situation get so out of hand. She stares at me intently before saying; "You seemed angry when you came in just now, is everything ok? Did you and Jon argue again?"

I can't help but chuckle, Jon and I have been friends for god knows how long and yet we argue like a married couple. So when Amatis asks have we fought I can't help but wish that was all it was not what I saw with Clary.

Clary. You've got to think of a way to get her talking to you again, the little smile is wiped of my face and I'm left with a permanent frown. "Everything's fine Ama, just tired and the part is tonight, I don't want to start collapsing in the middle of the dance floor. That wouldn't be too captivating for my dancer would it?" I wink at the end getting a scoff out of Ama.

She pats my cheek "Then go take a nap, I'll wake you a while before we have to go, and don't worry anybody who dances with you will find you captivating, my boy" a small smile on her face as she walks off. My parents died before I was three so I don't have many memories of them. Growing up it was Amatis who was always there, if I scraped my knee or was being bullied.

So it always makes me smile when she calls me her boy, blood is thicker than water and that's proved to me with Amatis. Closing the door I collapse onto the wheelie chair and start twirling around in it. I'm starting to relax when my phone starts vibrating on the table.

Annoyed I grab it and unlock it reading the message as I go, dude where did you go? Sighing I text Jon back keeping it simple, had to help Amatis with something before tonight, don't worry I'll still be there tonight, wouldn't miss Jonathan Morgenstern in a suit for anything ;) I don't have to wait thirty seconds for a reply and laugh at it thinking how Jon the message is.

It simply says asshole. Laughing I toss my phone on the desk then start trying to think about a plan for tonight that will actually work.

God this will be a long night. I think before setting down to work.

I'm woken up by a loud knock on my door, groaning I bury myself deeper into my duvet with the hope that if I pretend not to hear they'll leave me alone. Obviously that's not going to happen though because the knocker just keeps banging on my door until I'm fully awake.

I fling the duvet off and storm to the door flinging it open yelling; "What! What could be of so much importance that you have to wake me up!" my mother is standing there wide eyed mouth slightly open staring at me, surprised by my outburst.

Rubbing my eyes I sigh and then in a softer tone ask again what's up. My mother just shakes her head getting out of the shock and says; "The hairdresser and make up designer are downstairs, now go put on something scruffy so it won't get wrecked and come downstairs" she says firmly daring me to yell at her again.

Sighing I accept then slam the door in her face not caring that I'm being grouchy, she woke me up to get a manicure and let's just say no smart person would do that. Throwing on an old shirt with butterflies and shorts I bought myself I shuffle down the stairs with my iPod in knowing this will be hours of torture.

I was right, my only relief was my iPod and the fact that everybody seemed to catch on quickly that I wasn't in the mood to have a girly conversation. So I sat there as they lightly curled my hair, complementing my mother for my hair every ten seconds which was pathetic but my mother ate it all up as usual. I continued to ignore the glares my mother sends me every time they tried to get me into a conversation but I just gave them one word answers or pretended to be deep into a song.

After what felt like years but was probably a few hours I was thankfully done. I got up smiled at the people and went upstairs to get changed into the stupid dress my mother has made me wear. Sighing I slam the door closed and yank the earphones out and putting the iPod into the speakers.

So dancing along to The 1975's Heart out I find the dress which has been ironed and hung up since I was out. Trying not to wreck my good mood as the next song comes on I know all the words so I sing along.

After three failed attempts to get into the dress I finally get it on myself and zip it up most of the way I glare at the heels. Heels and me don't work, never have never will, and the ones my mother has ordered me to wear, are like my broken neck waiting to happen.

So instead I grab the ankle boots that I wanted to wear that have a bit of a heel to it and go to the window and inspect myself. Jesus, I look like a bloody vampire. Who puts blood red lipstick on a pale girl? And how much blush does one girl actually need?

There's a knock on the door. "It's open" I yell, sighing as I resist the urge to shove a hat on my head, staring longingly at my battered grey hat I got last year at some weekend away with Izzy and her family.

Jon walks cautiously into my room trying not to stare at everything, I shift on the spot uncomfortably, let's just say Jon in my room isn't exactly a picture perfect moment for the both of us. He stands just inside the room frozen staring at what I did to what was probably the guest room, the room he doesn't come into.

When I moved in here I figured I might as well make myself comfortable, so I bought some cheap spray on glitter and stencils you give to kids to learn the shape of a letter and stencilled on the wall my favourite book quotes on the far wall.

Over my bed is my favourite Harry Potter quote "In dreams we enter a world entirely our own" and slightly covering the top of my light switch is my other favourite quote from the series "Light can be found in the darkest of places" and then just under it is the end of the quote "If one only remembers to turn on the light"

Then all around the room is other quotes from other books and a massive bookshelf I had brought from my house. I'm quite proud of them, yet with Jonathan staring at the room in general it's not leaving me any room to actually appreciate what I've done to the place.

"This is…." Jonathan lets the sentence trail off, still looking around the room. I huff and ask what he's doing here. He jumps remembering why he came here in the first place blushing slightly. "Some people have already started to arrive and typically neither my father nor your mother are read yet. Leaving us to play hostesses. "

Sighing I shove on my last boot, quickly checking I haven't smudged anything making it look like I've drank blood and it's sticking to my teeth I follow Jon out onto the landing. He glances at me mirroring my nervous look with his own slightly worse one.

"It's just one night" I state looking towards the stairs where voices are drifting up from, though the sad thing is I don't know if I'm telling Jonathan or myself this. Jon nods in agreement then says; "Then you can go back to skinny jeans and knocking guy's lights out"

I laugh glad that we can at least relieve some tension between us, "Yeah I can, and you can also go back to being the idiotic damsel in distress. Though Jace is in the running for it too" I wink as Jonathan chuckles then frowns slightly as a laugh rises from downstairs.

He gives me his elbow and I can't help but grin and say; "Jonathan Morgenstern, someone might think you were being a gentleman to me" he flinches and I stop the teasing instantly. He runs his hand through his hair and then says in a low voice, so low I have to lean in slightly.

"You're not the worst person to be stuck with, ok, don't doubt that. It's just that, it's always been my dad and I, so when it turned out that not only was my dad's girlfriend moving in, said girlfriends daughter was moving in too, I wasn't exactly planning sleepovers for us"

I laugh softly, "I bet you snore something terrible. Don't worry though" I say to his shocked face. "I wasn't exactly jumping for joy when I heard about you, but our parents love each other so we might as well build a bridge and get over it…" I mutter.

Jon smiles and then gives me his elbow again which I take this time. "Here's to building the bridge" I grin and we make our way downstairs where everyone is socializing and eating the finger food mum bought.

They all stop what they're doing to watch us descend the stairs and I can't help but think sarcastically, What, are we an elephant duo preforming for the first time? As people gasp and whisper to their neighbour about how nice we look. Plastering a smile on as we get closer to the end I just focus on the grip I have Jon's elbow in and hoping I don't trip over myself.

When we get to the bottom Jon lets me go and we both stand there while people clap, which honestly is a bit weird. Jon just goes with it and says loud enough for everyone to hear; "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Morgenstern and Fray household, unfortunately the love birds are running a bit behind, we all know what that's like." He pauses for everyone to laugh, which they do.

He grins the says; "But the handsome man is serving drinks to all those legal" he winks at someone in the crowd before laughing saying; "And food is over on that table, if you need anything there's waiters all over the place or myself and my soon to be beautiful sister here will help as best we can"

"How much do I get paid for this?" I mutter quietly, not quietly enough for some people to hear and laugh, I blush and wish I could be anywhere else. "So enjoy" Jon yells as the music turns back up leaving me and Jon standing there.

"Ten dollars says I'll be surrounded by old ladies in less than five minutes, all trying to tell me how much I look like my mum and their views of anything and everything" I mutter to Jon who just grins and says; "I'm not losing ten dollars to something that is obviously going to happen. Have fun" he smirks leaving me there at the bottom of the stairs.

"Asshole" I mutter to myself shaking my head as the first lady come hobbling over, friend in tow a big smile on her face. I plaster a grin on my face praying my mother hurries up so they'll start fawning over her instead. I continue to nod my head along to the old people's stories not really paying that much attention.

After a while I use the hunger excuse to go gab some food from the table wondering if it was too much to ask that a fire happened and everyone had to leave. Shaking my head I turn to grab another battered prawn when I see something I wasn't expecting.

No, it`s not something, it`s somebody`s who is in the middle of a crammed dance floor dancing to some new song I don't know.

My best friend since primary school is here mingling with my neighbours in the dress we both picked out for her last summer before I left, she`s the exact same as she was the last time I saw her, her black hair a little longer since I last saw it, is now in a long braid swishing back and forth as she laughs at something somebody says.

I`m about to go over and say hi when the guy she`s here with comes back and kisses her as she squeals in a mixture of surprise and delight. And now I feel my heart breaking because the guy picking her up with a look of pure joy on his face is the guy I pined secretly over for a year and a half. Simon Lewis, the smart and funny kid in my classes forever making little jokes that me and him could hear, with over large glasses making his brown eyes bigger and his brown hair that always looked like he had just woken up.

I stand there frozen for what feels like an eternity but is probably only a few minutes in reality. I don't know what hurts more, the thoughts racing each other in my brain or my heart shattering into tiny little pieces. I know I have to get out of here before I start crying all over again.

I picked the worse moment though, for as I go towards the stairs to run upstairs and lock myself in the D.J stops the music and says pointing at stairs; "Ladies and gentleman, the happy couple Mr and the future Mrs Morgenstern. Congratulations!" everybody turns and starts clapping.

This leaves me, in the awkward position of standing at the bottom of the stairs, willing them to bloody hurry up so I can get away from all of this. I clap along though I just want to curl up in a ball and pretend today didn't even happen. When they finally get down the stairs and the clapping finished I charge up the stairs not hearing the "Clary!" from behind me.

"When were you going to tell me about you and Simon?" I ask spinning around causing Izzy to stop surprised.

Then I realize something as Izzy`s eyes bug out of her face, something that tears me to pieces inside and I have to pinch myself to keep from collapsing here and now.

She was never going to tell me, sure she told me she had a date and she`d say what the guy was like but telling me who it really was? Never. Izzy comes towards me and I take a step back refraining from doing something I`ll regret tomorrow.

"Clare you have to understand he didn't like you, and when you left I was on my own. I was on my own with nobody to talk to except a few measly texts which only brightened my day for about five seconds then it was over. Then Simon saw me one day sitting where we always sat together and he came out and we got talking" Izzy says with panic etched onto her voice.

I laugh a cold hard laugh that I didn't know I had in me then say; "What and me moving here was a rollercoaster of entertainment? Is that what you think? Cause let me tell you something from the second I got here I've been the red haired social outcast deemed to be a heretic. But hey, don't let me get in the way of you and Simon`s love affair with my despair and loneliness. I'm sure I`ll be grand."

Izzy looks hurt when I've finished and says; "We`ve only been going out a few weeks now, the only reason I didn't tell you sooner was I was afraid about how you`d react. You know now though and hey, we can all hang out together again" she feigns excitement looking hopefully at me.

I snort get off the wall I've come to lean on and quietly say; "I'm very happy for the both of you but you`ll pardon me if I never in a million years hang out with you two again." I walk towards the door just as Izzy grabs my elbow "Clare please, just think about this!" I yank my elbow out of her grip and say; "And you should`ve thought about telling me about your little affair before showing party with your boyfriend without informing your ex best friend, bye Isabelle, say hi to Simon for me" then walk into my room slam the door in her face and collapse on the floor in a heap.

This party is dead boring. Everyone is just talking, dancing, talking and dancing. I'm fed up with this whole thing and we've only been here half an hour at the most, so far I've seen nothing of Clary and I'm getting more and more anxious about talking to her.

Calm down Jesus Christ, you'll be fine. You just have to find her and talk to her, not like you're proposing. So breathe and find her before you sweat yourself to death. Taking a deep breath I gulp down some more punch and then go red head hunting again, just as I think I found her though the DJ kills the music and announces that the happy couple are coming down the stair, finally, not like this is their party.

When everyone has stopped clapping and the music is turned back up I see her. She is charging up the stairs with a black haired girl following behind her. I wonder what's going, intrigued I follow them up the stairs. I hear an argument going on and can't help but listen in.

"We`ve only been going out a few weeks now, the only reason I didn't tell you sooner was I was afraid about how you`d react. You know now though and hey we can all hang out together again" says one of the voices that obviously isn't Clary, so has to be the black haired girl.

Clary snorts and says quietly; "I'm very happy for the both of you but you`ll pardon me if I never in a million years hang out with you two again." I walk towards the door just as Izzy grabs my elbow "Clare please, just think about this!" I yank my elbow out of her grip and say; "And you should`ve thought about telling me about your little affair before showing party with your boyfriend without informing your ex best friend, bye Isabelle, say hi to Simon for me" before slamming her door in Isabelle's face.

I go back downstairs dazed, then without knowing it I'm outside where people are sitting around eating and drinking, talking amongst themselves. Ignoring them I look up at Clary's window. Drainage pipe my mind points out and I groan.

Seriously that`s it? Fine but don't say I never tried. I'm about to go up when a thought enters my mind quiet unwantedly why are you doing this, I mean you said so yourself you`re Jace Wayland you don't climb up drainpipes for some girl. Yeah but she`s not just some girl is she?.

Unbuttoning my suit sleeves I start climbing up ignoring the whispers and points at myself. When I finally get up enough to look into her window I see her. She's on the floor head in her knees hands wrapped around her knees.

I knock on the window without her noticing, then I do it again and she looks up, mascara running and eyes red. She sniffs then comes to the window. What do you want Jace?" she asks voice thick from crying.

I tumble in and simply say; "We need to talk."

R&R please :)

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