We need to talk
Hi everyone, here's the new chapter.
As always thanks to all reviewed, followed etc, means so much more than you can imagine.
MusicallyChallenged is my beta
Cassandra Clare owns all characters.
We need to talk. I wipe my eyes and snort turning away from him already fed up with this conversation. "Doors over there, use it" I mutter walking as far away from him as I can.
"Clary" he said coming towards me arms outstretched trying to reach out to me. Too late now, I flinch away leaving him standing there arms in the air awkwardly. Sighing he draws back his hands and looks around my room running a hand through his hair before turning back to me.
"Look, I didn't come here for some Disney make up I know you're pissed off with me. Hell I'm happy you are it makes a bloody difference from the always forgiving crap people give me. But please you have to at least let me explain myself and my actions" he comes towards me again eyes wide with hope.
I duck and dodge him going towards the door and opening it leaning heavily on the door handle, "I think you've done enough. I don't want to hear any more ok, I've had a long day with my mother and my friends, and they've taken every ounce of caring out of me. So do us both a favour and Leave. Me. Alone" I hiss as Jace just stands there in his suit emotions running through his eyes so quickly I can't keep up with them.
Sighing he shakes his head and starts to make his way towards the door, instead he sits down on the foot of my bed and puts his head in his hands and mumbles something to himself. "What was that?" I ask still standing by the door trying not to scream out loud in pent up frustration.
"I followed you today" he mumbled again but this time just loud enough for me to hear, and he didn't have to explain I knew exactly what and where he meant. And I stood there; I stood there and tried to think of something that wouldn't show my rage not only at him but at myself.
I should've noticed him, should've paid more attention to my surroundings then just my little bubble. After a long build-up of the tension in the room I talk, I keep my grip on the door handle and try to speak in as calm a voice as I could.
"Am I supposed to be impressed?" I hiss staring at him, head still in his hands refusing to answer me, "Well!" I scream slamming the door closed. He looks up slowly regret etched onto his face as I stand there panting in the too small dress, rage boiling my blood.
"I-I-I'm sorry" he stammers pinching his nose, eyes closed. I laugh a dark laugh I didn't even know I had before saying; "You'll have to try harder than that Jace, sorry isn't going to work this time." I go towards the door but Jace's hand grabs mine and turns me around to face him.
His eyes are a mixture of regret and determination as he spins me around. "Listen to me and listen well Fray. I followed you because I thought you were going to do something stupid and at least if I was there I could stop you, what I wasn't expecting was I saw. To say I regret it would be a lie, because I finally saw a piece of the teenage girl who spends all her time trying her hardest not to make friend, the girl who doesn't take anything or expect anything from anyone. The girl who I had the pleasure to start befriending until I screwed even that up. I don't regret it as much as I should because I-"
Now he starts to stutter his words blushing slightly. I try rip my arm from his grip thinking of ways to get out of his grip without punching him or kicking him in the valuable bits. But before I can he continues to talk.
"Today I saw that girl admit thing she wouldn't admit here for a million dollars, and the guy who is a complete ass out of himself wished he could see that girl more often, maybe not with me, hell I don't expect you to talk with me but I just want you to know I'm sorry."
I rip my arm out of his grip ignoring the flash of disappointment in his eyes as I back away from him. "Get out" I state pointing at the door, after a second and he's not moving I scream it scaring him into doing it and leaving me alone.
I stand there too many thought churning in my head, screaming again I tear at my hair, tear at the stupid dress as I try think of something to do that'll get all this pent up rage I have out of my system. When I think of nothing, well nothing that wouldn't land me in A&E for months, I slip onto my bed.
The emotions are finally catching up to me and I don't know how to deal with them, screaming I pick up a pillow and throw it at the door. That does nothing for me though because I'm still sitting here trying to figure out something to do to rid myself of all these feelings.
There's no way in hell I'm going back downstairs to the party, where my mother and her fiancé will be playing happy families announcing my mother's pregnancy smiling and kissing each other just to prove their point. Also I'd rather not be near either Jace or Isabelle right now for fear I'd do something stupid.
So that leaves me with two options, do I leave the house and go somewhere until I'm sure everybody is gone so I can slip back in. But where'd you go, the library would be closed, the gym isn't open Saturday nights and you don't know anybody well enough to ask them to take you in or a while.
My last option is to stay in here and wallow. I could always clean up a little, fix my bookshelf which has become too crowded and then spray paint some more quotes on the wall. Yet that won't make me forget about all these emotions running through my head.
Sighing I get up and walk towards the window looking out to the driveway which was light up with fairy lights and lanterns so people could see, not that they needed it but not point arguing with mother when she's in one of her moods.
Just as I'm turning away an idea springs into my head and I can't help but smile. Why didn't I think of this first? Smiling to myself I run over to my drawers and yank out jogging bottoms, a long sleeved blue shirt and a baggy jumper throwing them on while shoving my feet into converse.
I grab my iPod then make my way downstairs as discreetly as possible before dashing into the kitchen where the caterers are flying around the room making the food and stocking up on the wine. When I jump in nobody notices until a man who looks about twenty five turns around.
"Sorry honey you can't be back here" he says with a smirk on his lips green yellow eyes dancing, I nod but just say; "Sorry I know, just I live here and need a few things. If you just let me get them I'll be out of your hair in no time" bouncing on the balls of my feet.
The man just throws his hands in the air saying; "Honey why didn't you tell me. Tell me what you need darling and we'll cook it up asap." I smile and just walk over to the kettle making a little mousy haired girl jump back with a squeak.
"I'm really in the mood for a flask of hot chocolate, I can make that so don't worry about it. Though if any way possible would you be able to hop up there and on the third shelve there should be a black container, could you get it please?"
The man just nods and goes to it as I pile in the hot chocolate powder and grab the squeezable cream and marshmallows from the cupboard under one of the countertops while the man stands on a chair to get the container.
Grabbing a flask I pour the hot water into the mixture and mix until its smooth enough before adding the cream and stirring again. The man comes back with the container a small smile on his lips. "Should I ask what you're doing, or should I feign total innocence?"
I laugh taking the container from him and shoving it into a little rucksack beside the flask. "Feign innocence always works, don't worry I'm not going far and will be back before anybody notices or cares that much" all humour gone from my voice when I finish the sentence, the man raises a perfectly sculpted eyebrow.
"It's nothing" I say before dashing into the utility room and grabbing the old tartan picnic blanket, and stuffing into the bag too. Coming back out I take out my phone and set an alarm for half eleven before putting it back into my pocket.
"Right I'll be back before midnight, if anybody asks about me you know what to do, thanks…." I let the sentence trail off not knowing his name, he grins "Magnus. The names Magnus Bane, of the Bane catering service", I nod then say; "Nice to meet you Magnus, I'm Clary Fray." Then I'm out the back door letting it swing shut behind me.
I shouldn't have told her, I should've waited until she wasn't broken up about her friend. Why did I tell her, what the hell possessed me to spill the one thing I knew would make her hate me even more.
Sighing I take another swing of my drink watching as Jonathan and the others dance with girls from our year enjoying themselves. You would be too if you could keep your big mouth shut. Running my hand through my hair I shake my head going towards the open bar to order another coke.
Going over I see the girl from the day Jocelyn announced she was pregnant, Tessa I think her name is. Knowing she'll want to talk even with the mood I'm in I slow my journey down wondering if I could convince somebody else to get it for me.
No such luck though, for sooner than I'd like I'm at the bar and Tessa has turned around and started grinning at me like she knows something I don't which I can tell you for certain I don't like. "Hi, you're Jace aren't you" she asks though we both know she knows.
"Must I be?" I ask tiredly giving the man my money, Tessa frowns saying; "Unless you have a twin I've yet to meet who looks and acts exactly like you then yes, yes you have to be Jace Herondale." Sighing I turn fully around to look at her before asking; "What do you want?"
She laughs and looks out to the crowd of people laughing, dancing and generally having a good time while we just stand here. "She does like you. Just might take her a while to say it, what with all that's going on around her right now"
I cough on my coke turning bright red wheezing out a; "And she told you this when exactly…?" wondering what gave her the right to just make stuff up like this. Tessa shakes her head saying; "It wasn't what she said exactly" and I can't help but scoff shaking my head saying; "Then it doesn't count, now pardon me, I think that wall is asking to be leaned upon" I start to head away but Tessa grabs my elbow.
"Let me finish, it wasn't what she said that told me this, it was more like the way you both act around each other. You throw each other quick glances at one another when you think the other isn't watching. Also you more than Clary light up and actually smile when she's in the forgive me if I state the bloody obvious". With that she stalks away leaving me standing there gaping like a fish.
But before she goes far she turns back and says; "So whatever crap you just did to make her sneak into the kitchen yet to return, go in there now and fix it. Before Jonathan finds out" and with that she leaves for good this time, off to talk to some guy.
Why would she be in the kitchen, how is so obvious for her yet Jonathan is totally oblivious? One word. Girls. Shaking my head I take a deep breath down my coke then stalk into the kitchen. I walk up to a man at the oven and lightly shove his shoulder. "Hi, sorry know I shouldn't be in here, hell don't know why I'm doing this. But have you seen a girl around here, about 5'5 in height flaming red hair. Probably looked like she wanted to kill somebody?"
The man just turns back to his pot on the stove saying her didn't yet not until I see the little smirk playing on his lips. I shove him again wondering why I'm still here it's obvious that he doesn't know anything, yet I can't stop until I know at least something.
"Please mate" I beg shoving him again. "If you know anything please tell me." He shrugs his shoulder not looking up before saying; "What time is it?" I'm confused by his question which gets him sighing muttering a "Not the brightest light in the pack are you"
I snap out of it and glance at my phone clock, "It's half ten. What's that got to do with the question I asked?" getting more and more frustrated by the second, the man just chuckles then says; "Fine I'll tell you, just don't tell Clary ok. She looks like she could bash a few heads together."
I nod waiting eagerly. He coughs then says; "She left about half an hour ago, came through here made herself a flask of hot chocolate and put that a blanket and a container in her bag before saying she'd be back later. I know no more ok, now leave you're cluttering up the kitchen"
"Wait!" I say panic etched in to my voice, the man turns around again putting his hand on his hip stamping his foot. "Uh did she say when she would be coming back?" hoping the desperation wasn't too evident in my voice, the guy just sighs saying; "Half eleven, now seriously get out or I'll complain."
Throwing my hands up in defeat I leave the kitchen but not before I hear the chuckle of; "Oh young love" floating out the door behind me. I look at the party and can't help but think Now what do I do? Sighing I walk back to the wall and lean against the wall and wait till half eleven comes.
Everything out here is really peaceful. I sit down against the rock water lapping at my feet as I take a swig of the hot chocolate loving the sweet burning sensation it leaves behind. Sighing in relief I start singing along to music not even caring anymore, let everything fly by as long as I'm sitting here not having to think.
Too soon though my phone rings and it's the warning tone, telling me I should get a move on and start heading home. I don't move though, too engrossed in looking at the stars and wondering what it'd be like to see them from space.
The tone telling me I should be leaving goes off but I ignore it again still looking at the stars seeing how many I count. A lot apparently, so after eleven has come and gone I slowly get up not wanting to leave the one place I feel somewhat whole.
At home I'm a shadow, school I don't even think I'm really there. Here I feel alright, that can't continue obviously time to go back to reality of fake smiles and complicated feelings that you shouldn't be having.
Swallowing the last of the hot chocolate I secure the top shake the crumbs of my rocky road off the blanket before shoving it all in the bag and making my way back towards the road that leads to my estate.
A tree branch snapping puts me on high alert, I look around panic starting to set in. I start walking a bit faster hoping to out walk them, that doesn't happen though because just as I get back to the road somebody jumps out of the trees, making me jump back.
"Clary, Clary, don't worry it's just me. Your favourite person ever, Raphael" he says coming out of the trees dark eyes sparkling. I move back but walk into another body who shoves me back, "What do you want Raphael?"
He chuckles and says; "Now, now play nice, I won't stand for any foul play Clary dear" coming closer, I scoff; "Yeah like you know how to play nice, foul play is your middle name." he chuckles then comes towards me fist flying.
I duck at the last minute and he ends up punching one of his friends instead who go reeling back screaming in pain. I laugh as Raphael turns glaring at me. "What was I saying about foul play?" he snarls and comes at me again. This time I stand my ground and let him try hit me, as he swings I chop down hard on his hand causing him to scream and fall clutching his hand.
I go to leave but he grabs onto my ankle making me fall over with a grunt stars dancing, clouding my vision. He comes over blood soaking his shirt. He bends down grabbing my hair as I bite my lip to stop from whimpering, "You are nothing, do you hear me. You think you've got the whole school fooled with how torn up you are. Well you don't fool me, I know you're just like the other attention seeking whores" before letting go of my hair my face falling into the dirt.
I get up dizziness washing over me, glaring at Raphael all the while saying; "I don't think I have the whole school wrapped around my finger, half the school doesn't know my name and the other half know me as Jonathan's heretic half-sister. So what's this really about, it must be something important if you feel the need to continually beat the hell out of me"
"Shut up" Raphael growls turning around to stare at me. I grin "What's the matter Raph, can I call you Raph? Jealous because you used to be the biggest badest bully there ever was, until I came along and beat you up the first day of school?"
"I said shut up!" he screams running at me, he throws a punch which I duck, yet not fast enough to miss the kick in the stomach. He snarls as he kicks me again and again until I lose track of how many times he's done it.
Then he leaves, I don't know how long I lay there trying to get my breath back but I know it was a long time. Eventually I get back up and walk slowly home collapsing into the kitchen causing a few screams. Magnus comes forward slowly as I stand there breathing hard, "Honey…?" he asks bending down to look at me as I lay there trying to get air into my lungs.
"Shit. Somebody go and get that guy who was in earlier! NOW!" Magnus yells picking me up and placing me in one of the chairs, "Clary" he says and I look at him, "Clary can you speak?" I nod and wheeze out a "I'm home" before coughing again, Magnus doesn't laugh though just looks concerned.
He's about to say something when somebody comes through the door and gasps "Shit Clary"
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