Ok here we go. Thanks to all who have reviewed, followed, Favorited etc means a lot. Thanks to MusicallyChallenged who is my amazing Parabati/ Beta
Disclaimer: Everything bar plot goes to Cassandra Clare.
Clary bold Jace italics.
I stand there trying to think of something to say, and then stop. Why should I have to answer this asshole who for the first time the other day tried to have a conversation with me, even though we've lived under the same roof for nearly a month now?
I sigh shaking my head which probably wasn't the smartest idea because this just fuels Jon's belief that there is something wrong between Jace and me. I mean there obviously is, but that doesn't mean my idiotic house-mate here needs to know my inner thoughts and turmoil's.
"Please Clary, you've both been keeping things from me, I don't like it. Please just tell me what's going on, hell maybe I can help" I snort turning around to glare at him. He takes a tiny step back as I come stalking up to him, getting into his personal space.
"Let's get one thing straight right here, right now. There is nothing going on between me and your player of a best friend Herondale, got that. Don't think that just because we had a little heart to heart on Saturday it changes anything. I still hate being here and you still hate me and mother being here."
"Just because Mr. Muscular may be having little boy problems lately and I'm just fed up with being here doesn't mean that there is ANYTHING between us two. The sooner you get through that thick head of yours the better."
With that I storm out the kitchen grab my gym stuff from their place on the stairs and am out the door slamming it behind me, fuming silently as I pass people coming back from work and playing with their kids, I ignore everyone and everything until I'm in the gym.
When I enter the gym I walk towards Maia somewhat awkwardly wondering if she'll ask me any questions that I won't answer. She doesn't though; she just grins at me and swipes my card saying she'd talk to me later.
I change quickly and then I'm wrapping my hands and going towards the punching bags set up around the room I change quickly and then I'm wrapping my hands and going towards the punching bags set up around the room and start punching them as hard as I can for as long as I can.
Truthfully a few faces came to my mind as I punch the bag which just infuriates me even more getting me to punch the bags even harder screaming as every bad thing that's ever happened to me rises to the surface again no matter how long ago it happened.
I plug my IPod in and start going through routines that my father taught me when I was young and preferred to be out training with him and his friends, instead of hanging around the old lake in our little village. I punch harder and harder until my knuckles start hurting and I'm panting.
Standing there I try calming the river of thoughts and feelings that I've pushed down and confined into a little corner of my head, that is currently overflowing and affecting not only how I feel but how I act around people too. Sighing I take off my gloves and go over to my water gulping it down trying to think of some way of avoiding Jonathan and his stupid questions preferring when he just didn't notice me at all.
Sighing again I put my gloves back on and go back to the bag tuning out everyone coming in and out of the room, instead I just focus on the tranquil rhythm of my hands connecting with the bag pretending that if I stay here just a bit long when I go home, my mother will finally realise that I'm there and not a shadow. Jonathan will go back to not giving a crap if I ran for president or was stuck upside down out a window.
When another hour and a half is gone I resign to the fact that I'll have to go home and face my "happy family" again. I have a quick shower and then walk into the entrance where Maia is still sitting at the desk reading some sappy love story.
I head over to her and hand back the key for a locker smiling saying; "Let me guess, forced marriage girl falls in love with the guy's best friend?" she looks up and laughs a full forced fall off your chair side clutching kind of laugh.
"Are they that obvious? And actually she falls in love with his younger more her age little brother, but still that obvious?" I smile nodding; "Yup afraid so, now I'm going to bring in a book of mine I think you'll love and then I won't have to go home and wash my eyes with soap over this disgustingly romantic crap, all girls seem to be addicted to!"
Maia grins nodding her head; "Please do, don't worry though I don't bend pages" I wipe my brow in relief then walk out into the car park starting the long annoying walk home wondering if I even told Jocelyn I was at the gym tonight, shrugging I just fix my bag strap and continue down the road humming along to my music.
I slam the door shut behind me and Jocelyn's head pops up from behind the kitchen door, she frowns then says; "Honey I didn't even know you were out, where have you been all this time. At a friends were we?" she looks so hopeful that I don't want to wreck it, yet I'm not going to lie just to benefit her so I tell the truth.
"I have no friends' mother, my school is full of asshole so I refuse to communicate with them. Where I was if you really must know, I was at the gym punching a bag thinking of people's faces. Now if you don't mind I'd like to go upstairs to my pitiful bedroom and have a shower. God forbid I stink up this beautiful house" with that I stomp up the stairs disregarding my mother calling me back down to her.
Instead I slam my bedroom door behind me and blare my music as loud as it can go as I get changed into a pair of pyjamas wondering why my mother must pretend to take an interest in me now, her little imperfect angel with no friends messing up her perfect family.
Knowing I'm overreacting, but too tired to fix it, I flop into bed and try shut my brain long enough to let sleep overtake me. It doesn't come easy though, so next morning I'm crabbier than usual just outright glaring at Jonathan when he opens his mouth, so much so he's given up trying to ask me anything which is fine by me.
We get into the jeep in what I can only describe as awkward, I'm not going to change that though instead I just listen to my music as the house fly by in a blur of fences and trees. When we park I jump out before anybody can say anything to anyone jogging towards the entrance my bag hitting me on the small of my back as I get closer and closer towards the entrance.
Breathing in a sigh of relief I slow down and walk casually over to my locker avoiding eye contact with everyone as I yank my key into my locker to be sprayed with some mysterious gunk. Gasping I reel back my eyes wired shut gunk already burning my eyes and getting everywhere on me.
People around me start laughing and pointing and taking photos. When the burning has subsided slightly I slowly open my eyes to see everything tinged in green, I resist the urge to close them again as tears build up in my eyes.
I refuse to cry though, instead I keep my eyes open and look down at my clothes which are covered in this mysterious fowl smelling stuff. Looking around as people continue to take pictures I try figure out who would do this, except everyone looks innocent which just enrages me even more.
I've had enough of this bloody school. It's obvious I don't fit in, so why must I pretend to not care if people don't like me when it causes me pain. Sighing I walk back to my locker and take out all of my books wiping off any gunk that's gotten on my books with my already soiled shirt.
While I'm doing that some girl walks past and says; "Hey ginger, you've got a little something… don't worry though least now we won't have to see your pure ugliness." Then walks off cackling with her little posse.
I slam my door shut and storm over to where the girl is standing, turn her around and punch her square in the jaw. Everyone goes quiet as the girl falls to the floor screaming holding her jaw as her friends bend over to help her up.
Panting I breathe out loud enough for everybody to hear; "I know I'm ginger, I know you don't like me." At this I turn to stare at everyone there who are all dumbstruck mouths open. "Hell I don't particularly like any of you, yet the thing that confuses me is what I did to make you all hate me?" I don't expect anyone to answer that which was right because nobody pipes up.
"I'm not going to apologize for what whatever I did to anyone, just from now on can we all just ignore me instead. No more gunk in my locker or whispers behind my back. Just pretend I don't exist in the school. Please it'll be easier for all of us."
It's quiet except the whimpers of the girl who I punched, I turn to her and say; "Go tell a teacher what I've done. I don't care, just know that I'd do that again without a thought. Also might want to ice it quickly to reduce the swelling."
With that I walk outside to sit under the tree tears coming fast and furious down my face.
Everything has gone wrong. I never meant to push her away, and now not only have I pushed her away she isn't talking to me or anybody else. I tried talking to her the other day but she just cut me straight off, refusing to even acknowledge me.
What is even worse, and yeah there's a worse in this situation. What's worse is that now Jonathan is on my case twenty four seven asking what's wrong with me and Clary. I keep telling him it has nothing to do with Clary but we both know that that's false.
Two days ago.
It was the day after the party, Jonathan and I had gone out the back to pass a football around, and I was enjoying myself even if I can't catch a ball to save my life. Jon was throwing me the ball fast and quick and was seeing how long it took me to fall on my face.
Laughing I caught it again and was about to throw it back to Jon when he sighs. Confused I look up and ask if he was alright and if he was bored we could find something else to do inside, he shakes his head running his hand through his hair saying; "I didn't want to have to ask you this, though that plan busted so here we are"
Confused I toss the ball behind me and stand in front of Jon trying to figure what the hell he's on about. Sighing he drops to the floor and I follow him worriedly, "Dude tell me what's wrong, maybe I can help. Is it Aline?"
Jon laughs shaking his head not looking at me, just keeping his eyes to the ground; "Nope, Aline and I are grand. It's you I'm worried about" I'm startled and shift back slightly. "Dude I'm grand, seriously why wouldn't I be?"
Jon finally looks up at me and simply says; "What's up with you and Clary, spare me the bullshit. I know something happened, last week she was ok with you now she can barely be in the same room with you let alone have a conversation"
I stutter eyes wide. "There's nothing going on, honestly swear on my life Jon. Your step-sister and I had one conversation where we found that we like something in common. Then she went off with some guy I knew at the engagement party and I warned her against him. She got angry and now she won't talk to me"
Jon looks wearily at me, eyebrow raised; "Not to be girly or anything, but do you promise me that that's all there is?" now I can't help but laugh somewhat nervously; "I pinkie promise Jon. Don't worry about me I'm just stressed and a little sleep deprived"
Jon looks relieved getting back up patting me on the back; "One last thing" and I raise an eyebrow willing him to continue. "Thanks for taking care of her when I couldn't" he mumbles. I punch him on the shoulder joking; "We can't all be distracted by Aline's beauty now can we?" Laughing I duck Jon's punch flinching slightly. I've lied to my best friend again.
And now I can't help but wish I wasn't such an idiot and had just told her how I felt, because this would've all turned out different if I had wouldn't it. I mean Clary might've been mine and I wouldn't have to lie to my best friend all the time.
I get in and everybody is gossiping about something, I look around and everyone is staring at Jon and whispering about something but all I can catch is "Clary" and "Jaw" and that's all it takes for me to start panicking.
Did she injure herself? Is she ok? I have to find her, screw if she's angry at me. Before I can though Aline is coming up to me and saying; "Have you heard the news?" I throw my best, not in the mood for games, face at her and she sighs.
"Clary came in here ten minutes ago and went to her locker, some idiot put explosive goo in there and it went all over her, then some stupid slut said something rude to her" she says and I know what's coming next and I can't help but feel bad not for Clary but for the girl, Clary isn't someone you want to get on the wrong side of.
"She stormed over to the girl turned her around and punched her straight in the jaw. But the weird thing is, she stayed there for a few minutes and had a one way conversation with the crowd. Before you ask I don't know what she said, but now she's gone and nobody can find her"
I know where she is, I just don't want Aline to come with me so I sigh saying; "She could be anywhere" which has Aline agreeing then saying she's going to go tell Jon before someone else tells him a lie.
I nod then make my way to the back entrance not bothering to stop at my locker or say hello to my friends. What does stop me is coach coming out of his room carrying his usual clipboard. "Good morning sir" I say passing him. He just grunts "Is it Herondale, one of the best runners quit and isn't coming back, three weeks from the qualifiers and now we have some mediocre runner taking her place"
Her, Clary. I stop anger rising inside me, she must have quit yesterday when she looked so determined to do something when we all left her alone. "Herondale?" coach asks looking at me like I've just missed half the conversation. Which, I probably have.
"Sorry sir. I'll talk to her, see if she'll change her mind. No promises though. I've got to go, I'll see you at training." With that I'm out the door anger coursing through my veins, how dare she just give up on the whole team's dream of making it past qualifiers. Just because we're not friends doesn't mean she just gives it up.
I stop taking a deep breath and that's when I see her, under the tree sniffing trying to get rid of the bits of goo stuck in her hair. Alone.