Hey everyone, all characters are Cassandra Clare's so...yeah enjoy :)
I open it and sigh, obviously my "Little Display" didn't go down well with the principal. For written out expertly is; Detention for: Clary Fray. Class: 6b Duration: Two weeks, every day after school from closing until six o clock. Rules violated: Violence in the corridor, failure to follow simple school rules. And just to make everything better one hour on every running day I have to report for detention with Coach as well. Then it just has our "lovely" principal's name signed at the bottom.
I fling my bag on the floor of the tree and stand there hands clenched my breath coming out in little puffs of fury. I know I should be punished for what I did to the girl this morning but it's like I never said anything in there that he actually picked up on.
Wanting to scream I just flop down onto the floor not even remotely hungry but tearing my sandwich up into tiny pieces as try to find some silver lining on all of this. There isn't though and I damn well know it, just can't help but wonder did the principal even to listen to me in his office, or am I just some delinquent who needs to punished.
I get up and grab my bag, knowing as soon as I get inside I'll have to pretend to feel bad for what I did to that girl, and yet the people who did this to me will be free to continue to tease me. Unfair is an understatement for the situation and yet it's all I can think as I yank the door open and walk towards my next class where no doubt I'll be asked what I got and was it worth it.
Well was it worth it? I can't help ask myself as I walk through the corridor and having people stare at me blankly like I'm the president, I mean they're going to stare at you anyway, so why fuel the fire with punching her? What good came out of that? Getting to my locker that is still has all the graffiti on it I yank it open having a battle with myself about worthiness.
There's no point asking that, because it was obvious something was going to happen, leading to your detention, so why not go to it with a bang and head held high. I think that as I get into class and sit at the back looking out the window blankly ignoring the stares and whispers coming towards me, willing the teacher to hurry up and get this class started so I can get home and face the music with my mother, who will not be happy.
Finally at four the bell rings and I follow the large crowd of pupils down the steps of the school towards their cars plugging my IPod in as those around me talk to their friends about classes or the hot gossip. Me. I just keep walking towards the car singing out the words in my head as those around me try not to stare blankly at me but fail miserably.
I get to the car and know already that the car journey will be a long one, for there is Jace leaning against the car arms folded lips pursed looking like he'll break the next person who talks to him nose. I don't see why he should be the one angry, he's not the one that from tomorrow will be here until it gets dark. Not the one who will have people sneering saying that detention isn't enough for what I've done.
Still I walk over guard up knowing he'll ask what happened and can't help the tiny hidden smirk that comes to my face when that is the first thing that he says. "Tell me what happened Clary. I could help you" he pleads as we stand there frozen people milling around us getting into their cars. I snort and shake my head not telling him anything. I go towards the boot where I always sit but stopped by Johnathan's hand clamped down on my wrist.
"Just tell me Clary, is it true what they're all saying. About the girl and you storming out of the principal's office?" He asks never letting go of my wrist trying to look me in the eyes, but I just look at the car wondering if I should tell someone, someone like Jace, but no I can't because this is the guy who lead me along thinking I had somebody to talk to, then just let me go. So instead I just shrug my shoulders faking innocence.
Jace just sighs and lets me go as he runs his hand through his hair. "You should talk to somebody Clary. It's not healthy to keep it all bottled up. I snort and turn back anger boiling over as I look at the guy who just today reminded me that I have nobody here to talk to and now here he is telling me to open up to somebody.
"If that somebody you're talking about is you, you can cram it up your ass you hear. When hell freezes over and there is pigs flying merrily in the sky only then will I come to you for anything!" I shout at the semi deserted car park. Johnathan and the other two have a meeting for the first half hour so we're on our own out here.
"Clary I-"he starts to say but I cut him off. "Don't you dare pretend that that wasn't what you meant because we both know you did! You come out to me at break and remind me that I don't fit into this stupid town and question why the hell I might want to stay away from something that involves people who I try hard not to see or speak with."
And here I laugh humourlessly before saying; "Then, the one person who made it clear I'm a loner with nobody to talk to comes and tells me that I need to talk about my problems. Forgive me when it's clear as day you want me to talk to you. Which isn't going to happen." I turn and walk around to the boot and open up the door with Jace trailing behind me.
Just as I'm about to jump in Jace grabs me again and says; "So what are you just going to keep it all bottled up until the next time you feel suicidal and can't afford to go see your dad? What's healthy in that? I'm not saying talk to me, just go talk to somebody because if you don't you'll get suspended and or expelled. Do you really want that? Think about your mum, she's trying to lie her life and be happy. Yet every time you come home scraped bruised it takes its toll. Do you really want to be the cause of your mother's unhappiness?"
I slap him hard in the face before I know what I'm doing causing him to stumble back as I get out of the car seething. He holds his check in pain and looks at me confused. I step towards him saying; "You don't think I know that, you don't think it keeps me up at night. I wish I could go back to the first day and be a bright happy person who gets along with everybody. But I can't. Can't and won't because then how much of me would really be there?"
A flicker of something that looks a lot like sympathy flies through Jace's eyes which angers me even more. "I don't want your sympathy ok, just leave me alone and let me get expelled if I'm going to get expelled. This has nothing to do with you or anybody else so keep out. Also I swear to god if you tell anybody about this your sore face will look like heaven compared to what I can do. Got that?"
He just nods flexing his check wincing slightly, sighing I nod then say; "Might want to ice that when you get home, don't want to be left with a bruise" before closing the door of the car and walk away towards the school entrance wanting to spend the last few minutes of salvation I have to myself with my thoughts.
As I walk though I can't help but let myself cry. Cry because Jace has opened the old scars I've pushed down since I was a kid. Yes I had Izzy and Simon but they were only somewhat friends, never invited to houses never went to the cinema together. And yet my mother was so happy the day I told her I talked to them. That I had people I could talk to.
And now, well now I'm well and truly alone in this place with nobody to talk to and a big black mark against me in a school where it's too obvious I'm not welcome. Sniffing I wipe my eyes on my sleeve as I make my way closer and closer to my estate wondering what my punishment will be, and how hard it'll hit me to see the disappointment in my own mother's eyes.
Gently getting the keys out of my coat and open the door closing it silently behind me then walk to the kitchen where my mother is sitting at the table sipping a cup of coffee reading some magazine that always comes in the post. I don't need to speak to know she knows I'm in the room.
"Sit down Clary we need to talk don't we" she says not looking up from her magazine, her brown hair coming loose from the tight bun she has placed on the top of her head. And right there I know I'm screwed
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