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I suppose it was the screaming that attracted my attention to the bathroom. I'd love to say something really heroic like; "Something just didn't feel right with my half- sister" but that wouldn't be truthful. Sure the scream was a surprise, but I just thought she'd stay holed up in her room bottling it all up all night like she always does.
So when I heard the bathroom door slam shut I just assumed she needed a tissue or nature was calling, not anything morbid like I was going to see when I got off my lazy ass and actually went to see what was going on. I was lying on my bed staring at my ceiling deliberating when everything had turned so crappy.
The whole school situation is the big trigger in my head and I can't help but wish I had done more to help Clary when she started there instead of being stuck up my own ass. I could have helped her not feel so alone in a school where it's obvious even to bystanders that she's not welcome, instead I just stuck with my friends group happy it wasn't me getting put out by the whole school.
Sighing I try suffocate myself with my pillow to no avail, hearing a crash from the bathroom piques my attention and I'm off the bed heading towards my bedroom door listening carefully to the noise that seems to be occurring from inside the bathroom. Bathroom…. CLARY.
Quick as a flash I'm out the door and at the bathroom door looking frantically at the door wondering what the hell she's doing in there that's causing such a ruckus. I grab the bathroom handle and yank it down trying to gain access to the bathroom but failing something propped up stopping it, huffing I bang on the door.
Panic is slowly creeping into my bones and I'm starting to panic what she's doing in there, from the sounds inside though it's obvious that it isn't anything good. I try the bathroom handle again which is staying stubbornly put. "Clary!" I yell banging on the door, with the innocent hope that maybe she'll stop and come out.
She doesn't hear me and now the panic has really set in. Banging on the door I start trying to figure out how to open this damn door without breaking it and acquiring the wrath of Jocelyn. Banging on the door I hear whatever it is shift slightly and a bit of hope starts pumping through me fuelling some adrenaline.
Trying the door handle again it opens only slightly and still won't let me enter, with new hope I start banging the door again in the hope whatever is blocking the door will shift enough so I can get in there. Just as I'm about to hit the door again a cough behind me stops and my hope, which was once pumping though my veins is frozen by dread. Gulping I slowly turn around to face the wrath that is Valentine.
Standing there is my dishevelled father, his once slightly messy brown hair I now looking worse from wear with strands sticking up in random places looking like he hasn't been able to have a shower in the last forty eight hours. His eyes which are usually a nice cloudless day blue are bloodshot and wet rimmed.
"What do you think you're doing?" he asks arms folded standing tall though he looks about ready to collapse in a heap right here and now. I blink quickly then say; "Clary's hogging the bathroom and I need to take a shower, I couldn't have one at training earlier." I stand straight hoping that my lie is accepted and dismissed.
Valentine just stays where he is scrutinizing me for a minute and I can't help but feel like I've done something wrong when I really haven't. I stay where I am and let him examine me, after what feels like forever he finally just huffs and says; "Well keep it down, Jocelyn and I are going to have an early night, and I don't want to have to be woken up with your babyish quarrels." Valentine turns and starts walking back into his room but turns at the last minute to face me again.
"Night son" he says giving me a small smile as if to apologize for scaring me. I smile back not breathing for fear of spilling the truth all over the carpeted landing, still smiling he walks back into the master bedroom leaving me to expel the breath I'm holding and turn my attention back to the bathroom door, and Clary inside.
Banging on the door again I feel it shift again and all the previous adrenaline and hope comes rushing back like the wind on my neck, panting with excursion I bang on the door grunting when it catches my shoulder slightly. After another two hard bangs on the door it eventually opens wide enough for me to reach in and push the old chair pushed against it away so I can open the door fully.
What I see when I fall through the door isn't anything what I expected it to be, and I swear I'll always remember what I saw there until I die. Everything that was ever supposed to be in a bathroom is lying open or flung across the room either open dripping in between the tiles or waiting to be picked up.
The real horror comes when I finally pluck up enough courage to look at the bathtub and what's around there. Glass, where could she get glass from I think looking around the bathroom for a second then locating the origin of the glass. The mirror which is now severely broken with pieces hanging on for dear life and the rest scattered around the bath and in the sink. Oh god, oh my Jesus Christ Clary, what have you done? I think as I look around the area.
A low soft moan indicates something living is near and I look up to wish I hadn't, the picture before me is nauseating to a point I have to turn away for a second to compose myself. Gingerly propped on the bathtub is a ghostly pale Clary eyes closed face void of any colour except of the scarlet red of blood dripping from her clenched fist.
Then I do something I didn't know I could do being an only child, I went into big brother mode. Kicking the glass shards that I'll probably have to clean up later I bent down beside Clary, I know that this isn't a time to feel awkward but I still do as I press my finger to her neck feeling for a pulse which comes back weak but still there.
Breathing out a sigh of relief I start sorting out what I should do next, I mean should I go get Jocelyn and let the adults take care of her? No she'd get in trouble for smashing the mirror. First things first wrap her hand because she's losing and has lost a lot of blood.
I gently take her hand and pry it open hissing as blood pours out quickly. How is she bleeding so badly? I mean it was hardly the bath's fault I think as I open her hand, as I do a long piece of glass from the mirror falls out of her hand dripping more blood onto the floor. Gasping I back away slightly hardly believing what I'm looking at, surely things aren't this bad are they?
Shaking my head in shock I gently pick up Clary who just groans again, I look down worriedly then start making my way out of the bathroom. "Jon?" a croaky voice says and I look down again to see Clary's eyes flutter open and the relief that washes over me is unexplainable. A grin spreads across my face; "Hey Clary. We're going to get you patched up ok" trying to stay positive.
Clary closes her eyes again as if in internal pain which I can't see, she wiggles slightly in my grip and I have to stop moving for fear she'll fall out of my arms. "No" she coughs out eyes still closed face scrunched up in pain. I'm confused, why wouldn't she want somebody to help her, she's bleeding for Christ sake.
"But Clary you're-"I try tell her but she just shakes her head refusing to listen to me. "No doctors, no parents no nothing. Just bring me back to my room, I can stitch myself up just need to lie down for a minute" she coughs out and closes her eyes again and now I'm freaking out. What do I do? Deciding now is not the time to start listening to her I form a very messy plan in my head which, later, I will probably regret but for now it's the only thing I have to go with.
Shifting her slightly so she doesn't fall down I leave the bathroom closing the door gently behind me and make my way down the stairs to the black hallway, shivering slightly I go into the kitchen and turn the oven light on which emits just enough light for me to grab the keys for the jeep off their hook.
Looking at Clary I swear she's gone paler in the last ten seconds and I speed up my actions, I quickly but gently place Clary on a chair as I write a really vague note in case somebody finds I'm gone, I claim to have left something vital at Jace's the other day and went to collect it. When that's done I grab Clary and sprint out to the car placing her in gently, before slamming the door and running around the other side and start the engine.
I drive blindly as I make the real short journey to Jace's little bungalow only three minutes away from mine in another estate behind mine. I glance at Clary when we have to stop at a red light and I feel like a failure seeing her look so frail and pale. Why didn't I help her while I could is running through my head making me feel like number one asshole.
When the lights turn green I'm off like a rocket turning into Jace's estate ignoring the stop sign because come on, it's half one in the morning no kids are going to be playing chasing this early in the morning. I park the jeep awkwardly not giving a flying penguin about it just grabbing Clary who doesn't even groan just stays limp as I charge up their little drive and start pounding on the door.
After what feels like an eternity but probably is only a few minutes the door swings open, there standing is a dishevelled still partially asleep Jace. "Jon?" he mumbles rubbing his eyes sleep still in them. "Jon what are you doing here, it's not time for school yet!"
I can't help but let out a little chuckle but it dies quickly when I remember who I'm holding. "Jace is Amatis in? I need her help?" I ask panicky scared she's going to be out even if it is half one in the morning. Jace wakes up at Amatis's name and looks at me then the person in my arms and gasps.
"Shit, shit what the hell happened, quickly come in!" he says shoving me and Clary inside, smiling slightly I step just inside just as the women of the moment comes trudging down the stairs hair in curlers glasses still in hand. "Jace? Jace honey what's going on here?"
I'm about to speak when Jace cuts across me; "Ama one of my friends have been injured, do you think you can help them. They can't go to the hospital" Jace says pleading slightly with her as she stands on the stairs and surveys the situation. Sighing she comes down the final step and looks at Jace for a second silently exchanging words that I can't understand, after a weird nod from Jace she turns to me and says; "Bring her into the kitchen so I can see her" and I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding.
There's black everywhere, except one tiny speck of white off in the distance. I keep running towards it but I every time I get near to it the light moves further away from me, so I give up and decide to explore the blackness instead.
As I walk I start to hear noises that weren't there ten minutes ago, turning around I don't see anybody but like a loud speaker has just appeared ad is blaring out voices that seem so familiar, yet when I try put a name on the voice it doesn't come to me.
"How could she do something like this to herself? And why the hell didn't I notice the warning signs?" the voice says, the voice is deep and yet if voices could have tastes this voice would be the taste of honey. "It wasn't your fault, I didn't know anything either. Come on Jace it wasn't your fault."
Jace. Jace that annoying ego craving idiot that seems to always be on my mind, even when I don't want him to be. But why is he so upset it doesn't make sense, I mean I've done nothing to hurt him so why- Oh. Oh no that's not good.
The memories of what happened in the bathroom come rushing back and I cringe, how I could do that to myself and the others is beyond my comprehension. I look around at the darkness again but this time I see the white light again. Picking myself up I run towards it don't worry Jace I'm coming back to wreck your life once more. Jon I'm so sorry I think as I grab the edges of the white light and jump through.
I wake up with a start coughing eyes stinging like I've been submerged under water for hours on end. "Jon?" I croak out wondering if he's even in the room, "Jon!" I cough out louder this time and I'm rewarded with a groan. Looking beside me I realise I'm on a bed with purple duvets nice duvet colours Jace I think before finding my big brother, who is lying in an awkward position in an overstuffed chair beside the bed.
"Jon!" I say again nudging him with my foot, he grunts then starts blinking and I start to smile; "Morning sleepy head, have a nice sleep?" Jon's eyes go as large as saucers before he's up blonde hair tousled mouth wide open. "Clary!" he breathes before ensnaring me in a bear hug making me cough even more.
"Hey" I say patting him with my better hand, looking at my injured hand which is heavily bandaged a wave of guiltiness washes over me and I have to hug him again before saying; "I'm so sorry Jon" closing my eyes against his jumper. He just pats my back not letting go of me which is fine by me.
"You gave us quiet the shock Ms. Fray, don't ever do that again!" he grumbles into my hair and I can't help but smile and promise that I won't, but how I know I won't is beyond me and that scares me completely. A cough breaks up our little reunion and there standing in the entrance is a fifty year old women brown hair in ringlets and deep blue eyes entirely different from Jace's gold.
We both sit up and look at her but her eyes are trained on mine, her fingers twitch slightly before she says in what probably is her mother tone to Jace; "Sleeping beauty is finally awake, pray tell us you're going to explain the whole horrid business with your "injured" hand there" she raises her eyebrow and I feel Jon shift ever so slightly to look at me.
I smile politely never taking my eyes off this lady before saying; "It's nothing miss, thank you for your kindness and stitching my hand up, means a lot. I go to get up and hug her or something put pushed back down by Jon. "You need rest"
Grinning slightly I nod and lie back on my propped up pillow as Amatis shuffles out of the room muttering something that sounds very close to "teenagers" as she leaves my eye view. Closing my eyes I let Jon do whatever it is he's doing presuming it's fixing his hair or something.
"Here have some of this" he says and I open my eyes to see a plate of cookies on a plate and a tall glass of apple juice being handed to me, I sit up wincing as I put extra weight on my injured hand, I take a cookie and bite into it savouring the melting chocolate moaning slightly. Jon just chuckles making me blush and take a big gulp of apple juice to cover up my blush.
I'm about to thank him when a cough comes from the door and I turn to look at the new arrival, there standing in an tight fitting shirt and baggy shorts is Jace. His golden hair is sticking up in a number of places and his eyes are slightly red.
I stay silent words choking on themselves as I try to think of something smart to say to him without making a fool of either of us. Jace is silent too but continues to keep his eyes directly on mine. Jon looks between the pair of us and again I have to blush slightly, it's kind of a giveaway that something happened when your best friend can't stop staring at their sister.
Jon gets up from where he was sitting running his hand through his hair looking slightly sheepish himself, "Uh I'm going to see if Amatis needs any help with… yeah" he says as he makes his getaway out the door. Leaving me and Jace alone in the room with an awkward silence falling over us.
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