Well hello there, l
Right fair warning there is a bit of swearing in this, also slight chance of fluff- I don't know what people define of fluff because I don't really do much fluff D:
Disclaimer~ All Cassie's (except Fletcher who is all mine, muhahahahah) and Poppies is July is all Sylvia Plath's :)
The warning bell rings and people start doing what always happens when the last bell rings. Panic. Some look up like startled deer in headlights like they've never heard the bell before while others look at their friends and either grin looping their arms through one another practically skipping off to class, chattering on about some "juicy" gossip they heard, oblivious to the world around their little bubble.
The rest of us groan, knowing how crappy the day is going to be, no matter how much optimism you try to pump into the day it's still going to be the same old Thursday which come next week will be exactly the same as the last. Some become professional runners ducking in between people trying in vain to speed up the process of getting to their locker and back before the teacher gets to class, I can't help but laugh at them because they always have the funniest ways of running, half running in a pure panic and half trying to walk respectfully but failing.
I look in my journal and groan internally even harder than those around me, third last thing on a Thursday I have religion which means coming face to face with the man of the minute unrequited love guy. Honestly why can't I just have five minutes in peace without having to see his freaking smug face at pulling with Clary behind the bleachers, oh Jesus you don't think that's what they're doing right now is it. Panicking I look around at the mass of students trying to catch sight of a slightly tall red head and coming up blank.
Jesus Christ Clary no, please don't do this just to spite me…. I shake my head suddenly angry with myself; you know what fuck her, if she wants to do the do with that idiot let her, she's not my responsibility and I don't care starting from now. I'm Jace Wayland I can pull any girl I fucking like, I don't need some stubborn red head who comes with a flight load of baggage, screw that! No I'm better off without her and her baggage, find some easy girl and pursue her.
As I walk to Religion I make up a list of all the bad things I know would happen if I bothered going out with Clary; one you would lose your best friend and no girl is worth that. Two I'd end up bloody and bruised and I like myself just how I am thank you very much, three you would have the biggest fights known to man and she's not worth all the trouble. Four I don't think I could deal with her bloody mood swings and the wall she's built around herself. I nod to myself, there were many more on the list including her body but that wasn't one of the main ones, as I get closer and closer to religion I think I've finally convinced myself how bad an idea it would be.
I arrive in religion just as the last bell rings and smile at Seb who has our seats at the back as usual, smiling at him I go towards him and sit down beside him with a little sigh which gets a confused look from Seb which I get rid of with a flick of my hand insisting it's nothing he should be worried about. That doesn't seem to convince him though because out comes a notepad and a pen both of us knowing where this is leading to.
Sighing I grab a pen as the teacher walks in and starts blabbing on about something that most of us tune out of because let's be honest, how many times do you need to go over the things Jesus did when that's all you did after school on Wednesdays when you were seven. Seb starts us off with an easy question are you ok? How are you supposed to answer that truthfully when your head is swimming with thoughts?
So I do what comes most naturally to me, I lie. I say I'm fine and how about him, sliding it back to him I look up at the clock wondering why the first and last class of the day always seemed to go so damn slow when all you wanted was it to fly by and go home. The sound of paper fluttering slightly beside me tells me I've received an answer, I take a breath in first knowing that whatever I see I'm probably not going to like it very much.
When I look down I'm slightly surprised and I look up at Seb, who blatantly ignores my look choosing to look down at his workbook instead of facing me. I look back down wondering how I'm supposed to answer this without giving away the plot and what I've just convinced myself, written in Seb's messy handwriting we've teased him about since we were old enough to write out our club of that week rule's is something I wasn't expecting; You're not fine Jace. I'm your friend and as your friend I'm telling you you're not fine, every time Clary is in the room you're either on her like a moth to a flame or a snobby rich kid putting your nose up towards her and I don't get it. So answer the bloody question truthfully, are you ok?
I look down at the lines on the paper and wonder what I'm supposed to say, I mean it's obvious lying isn't going to cut it here so I say something along the lines of the truth, I feel protective over her, I mean she's Jon's little sister step or not and we're her brother's closest friends it comes with the package. I just- and I can't get out the rest because what can I say? That I like her, because I don't and can't no matter how much I may or may not want it to happen, so I just write; I just feel like a failure unless I'm there to look out for her, I don't understand so don't ask me why because your guess is as good as mine. It's just look at what happened when we weren't looking, she went and injured herself to the point of stitches.
Seb hums to himself as he reads my reply and I don't know whether to be worried or relieved, so I go back to looking at the clock which hasn't moved even though it's been at least fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes….. Hold on where's the new kid? I tear my eyes away from the clock to look around the classroom landing on his seat then around the rest of the class, maybe he just switched seats or something, I look around quickly but turn up a blank, black hair scattered around the room, but none which seems forever messy.
I'm distracted when Seb nudges me in the ribs pointing at the page and I have to bite down the irritation rising in my throat, I'm a little occupied with something bigger than answering his questions but bite down on the retort on the tip of my tongue and look down at the page where the question of the millennia for thousands of euros is written plainly just below my previous answer. Are you in love with her?
I poise my pen ready to write down once and for all the answer to the question that seems to follow me around wherever I go, and I start to write but am interrupted by the door being flung open and the pen dropping from my hand onto the desk in surprise. There standing in the doorway are two people I wouldn't put as friendly if my life depended on it, both are frowning at each other trying to mask the hatred for each other with a frown piquing my curiosity, why do they seem to hate each other?
The man of the moment walks in first muttering an apology to the teacher who demands to know where they both have been, much to the bubbling curiosity of the class. Fletcher sighs rolling his eyes slightly a quarter of the way towards his desk before turning around and pointing at Raphael who is still standing at the door holding his stomach slightly glaring daggers at Fletcher, who seems cool and collected but underneath angry, for some unknown reason.
"I had to bring this idiot to the nurse's office after he decided to pick a fight with some older guy and have the living daylights kicked out his torso, because I unfortunately witnessed it I was dragged into the office to tell a full account which, between you and me, I could've done without. I'd rather not see his face any more than absolutely necessary thank you very much" Fletcher says in an almost bored voice yet a smirk worn proudly on his face.
Raphael just continues to glare at Fletcher who just stands there waiting for the teacher to dismiss them which comes after a wary glance at Raphael and a mumble of' "You'll have to catch up on what we've done, and the homework" before turning back to the presentation up on the board. Fletcher just gives him a tiny salute and smirks once more at Raphael who looks ready to kill him where he stands, before sitting down and taking out his notebook.
Something about the whole thing seems off to me, yet I can't put my finger on it, which annoys me even more the note in front of me completely forgotten as I try figure out what really happened by staring at the new kid's back. After another five minutes has passed and I'm still nowhere nearer to finding out what really happened I decide to ask the new kid when class is over.
When the bell rings I'm up out of my seat and directly in front of the new kid who just looks up at me and sighs continuing to pack away his things, I stand there waiting for him to start confessing, but he's obviously not much of a talking mood so I start the conversation for him ignoring the questioning look Seb is sending me.
"What really happened out there new kid, and save us both the time and cut the bull out" I snarl hating how this makes me act. The new kid just looks up at me and snorts shaking his head zipping up his bag; "What has little unrequited love become a detective over night? Mummy must be so proud. I wasn't lying this morning so whatever made you think I was you might want to stop relying on that so much next time Mr. Detective" before shouldering his bag.
I grab his bag and spin him anger boiling just under my skin; "Just tell me the freaking truth new kid and then we can both go our separate ways" I hold on tighter to his bag as he tries to wiggle out of my grasp, giving up he smirks up at me and says with sarcasm dripping off his tongue and into his voice; "Do you promise?" I growl fed up with him shoving him hard into the table stalking towards the door saying that I'll just go ask Raphael instead.
I don't see Fletcher but I certainly hear the laugh coming from behind me that comes neither from myself or Seb who seems to be throwing me worried glances every time our eyes meet which is more than I'd like. I curl my hands into fists ready to give this asshole a lovely black eye that would go oh so well with his hair and turn to face him, he's leaning gently against the table a victorious grin on his face as he takes in my anger.
"What's so funny new kid" I snarl as he laughs again shaking his head looking up to the ceiling, still laughing he says; "Dude we've talked about this. Unrequited love, you saw her and your ice cold heart for the first time in your life melted slightly at the sight of her, so you pursued her thinking she'd submit to your charm as quickly as the others. She didn't though, yeah you might've got a kiss in…and oh you did" he adds seeing me flinch slightly at what he's saying.
"Shut up" I snarl wishing for the first time since we began this conversation that I hadn't initiated it because this was hitting closer to home than I'd like to admit. Fletcher just smirks again and shaking his head; "No Jace you wanted the truth so here it is. You lost her. Like I said you may have kissed her, but you sure as hell weren't going to keep with her, you'd fuck up sooner or later and when you did she realised that you weren't ever going to be the person for her, so she started pulling away even more from you than she already was deciding that you weren't worth the heartache. So she became a loner, not fitting anywhere even though her brother and friends are the most popular kids and could've included her, instead you left her to fight her own battles and tend to her own wounds."
I try to shut him up again but he just ignores me going on with his little speech; "Then along I came. I'm not saying I'm the best thing for her, but I do know one thing that I know for damn sure"
I stand there seeing red but not doing anything just curling and uncurling my hands wondering if I should ask what he knows. I don't have to because I've totally forgotten the other contender in the room, and after a few seconds of silence that never looked like it was going to be broken Seb whispers; "What" and I can't help but feel slightly relieved that it wasn't me that asked the final question, because I knew after this I'd either punch him and leave or laugh it off and leave.
Fletcher ignores Seb, which annoys me slightly more still smirking at me and says; "She likes me. Trusts me enough to allow me to sit with her, talk to her ask her questions she'd never let anyone else ask unless you wanted to get a punch in the face. Raphael for example" he smirks at the last bit and I have to bite the inside of my check to fling him across the room.
"What did Raphael do to Clary?" I snarl coming towards him who simply holds up his hands and says; "That's for her and I to know and for you to grovel on the ground for. Now lads, I have a class I'm missing and I'm honestly getting bored of talking to Tarzan over here, so if you'll excuse me" smirking at me he walks past me and heads to the door. I turn around and simply say' "When I see Clary there had better not be a hair out of place or I swear you're going to be sorry"
Fletcher just smirks and simple says; "Scary" before leaving me and Seb reeling in the now too silent room. After a few minutes Seb piques up and says; "You don't think they…." Trailing the sentence but not needing to say any more, we both know what he's talking about.
I sigh suddenly tired rubbing my eyes muttering a; "I hope not" before following Seb out the door.
My jaw hurts. I wince slightly as a yawn escapes my mouth as I finish writing down a slide within a power point about Sylvia Plath's poem: 'Poppies in July' The theme in this poem is thought to be about her anger over the affair her husband Tom Hughes had with one of his students in the college. I had written that sentence twice now without realising it and was three words into the third time when I realise my mistake and yawn again wincing, my jaw reminding me of what happened outside leading to thinking of the next bit.
He gently grabs my waits and then my chin turning it towards him, he whistles softly as I stand there wondering if why my heart is skipping a beat and my palms which are firmly held by my side are becoming sweaty? I shift slightly to lock eyes with him; "Is it bad doctor? Will I be ok soon" Fletcher looks at me and something shifts within me which I can't identify and an emotion flickers across Fletcher's eyes too quick for me to name.
His hand on my waist moves up to cup my face and his hands are nice and cool which shouldn't be the thing I'm thinking about right now, Fletcher leans in slightly and I can't help but think Oh my god is he going to kiss me? I start to panic, did I brush my teeth this morning? Do I smell like the coffee I just drank, or can he smell the slightly sweat I have because of what just happened.
I don't have long to think about that because his lips hover over mine and I can't help but gasp slightly waiting for his lips to press down on mine. They don't though, and I can't help but acknowledge the little swell of rejection filling up my heart, he's probably got a girlfriend back at his old school waiting up every night to tell him all about her day.
Damn it I feel so stupid now, why can't I just freak out guys enough so they leave me the eff alone to suffer in peace. I can't deal with this any more, I don't need another person coming into my life placing me in a false sense of trust then abandoning me completely I don't think I can deal with the pain any more. So when he kisses my jaw instead I push him away shaking my head.
"Stop" I say pushing him away from me, wishing my voice wasn't so cracked up right now. Fletcher takes a few steps towards me something on the tip of his tongue but I hold up my hand trying not to break down right here in front of him. "Just stop, I can't do it again Fletch I just can't. First my mum just ups and moves us without my permission, breaking the trust I had in her, then I stupidly think I can trust my brother's friend which turns out to be my stupidest idea yet leaving me alone and vulnerable and I just can't do that with you. I've hurt enough for one lifetime please" my voice cracks at the end I really wish it didn't because I can see the look of sympathy on his face as he comes towards me again.
"Fletch please, I'm begging you don't do this" I say backing away from him tears starting to prick my eyes. He stops and sighs mumbling something and then turns away from me and swears again and again, I stand there not knowing if I should tell him to stop or just leave him. I don't get to say anything though as he turns and looks at me desperately; "Clary please forgive me. Please, it's just you're the first person who was nice to me, and then he came along and he tried to hurt you and I just flipped."
I stay quiet knowing he's not finished, and I'm correct because he says; "Then when I wanted to beat the daylights out of him you saved me from what possibly could've become an automatic expulsion, then I had to feck it all up by trying to kiss you, and I mean Shit both of us aren't ready for anything like that yet. I'm such an idiot I just wrecked the one friendship I had in this school, Jesus!" he screams to himself turning away from me throwing his hands in the air.
Put it down to the adrenaline still coursing through my veins, or the fact that the shaggy black haired greenish blue eyed guy in front of me who didn't judge me the second he saw me was asking me for forgiveness, something nobody in this place had ever bothered to do but I did what I felt right.
I walked over to him and hugged him from behind causing him to jump slightly and look down at me confusion written all over his face as I hugged his back enjoying the warmth he gave off in waves. He lowered his hands slowly confusion still the number one emotion on his face as he turned me around gently to look at him. He drinks me in and I do the same smiling as his hair falls slightly over his eyes.
He smiles timidly holding me at arm's length before saying; "Does this mean I'm forgiven?" and I look up to him before smiling ,laughing as he picks me up and twirls me around promising he won't let me down and that I can trust him, I look up at his beaming face the spark back in his eyes and simply say; "I know"
Well? Good/Bad/SuperMegaFoxyAwesomeHot? leave a review and tell me what you thought please :)