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He'll Never Love Me Back

By hermione_the_only

Drama / Romance

Chapter 1

"So, Potter," said Draco meanly, trying to hide his real feelings, "I've heard Chang finally understood how idiot you are and dumped you. Took her too much time to figure that out, if you ask me…"

"No one asks you!" answered Harry. He wasn't in a mood for fighting, especially not with this certain someone. "And she didn't dump me. We broke up."

"Sure," answered the blond sarcastically, "How could I think otherwise? And let me guess: it was also your idea?!"

"Actually, you're quite right!" Stated Harry. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Of course it's my business, you silly. I'm worried about you, Potty! Can't you see I'm trying to cheer you up?!"

"Lovely." The Gryffindor replied, cynically, and before the Slytherin had the chance to reply, he turned away and started to walk in the direction of the Gryffindor tower. He was so tired!

'But I truly wanted to cheer him up…' thought the other guy, sadly, watching the Gryffindor walking away. If he only knew how, really, Draco had wanted to help! At first, the Slytherin wanted to ran after him, to apologize – the same feeling he has after each and every fight with Harry. He wanted to tell him how much he regrets his behavior, not just today, but the way he acted all of these years.

However, he did nothing. He couldn't do anything! Doesn't matter how hard he wanted to… If he had had, it would have made him look like a complete idiot. And Malfoys never look like idiots! And it was also too suspicious, to do something. Yep. It would have caused too many questions. So, no matter what Draco feels for the hero with the rounded glasses, he has to keep playing the role of the bad guy, the cold and serious Slytherin, who cares only for himself, the one who always says the cruelest things, does the meanest things, even though he hurts the only person he'd ever loved. He must continue being Harry Potter's enemy, even though his heart asks for something else – for the complete opposite, actually.

When Draco thinks of that, he realizes that he has, probably, felt that way since the very first time they'd met. The problem is that it took him time, too much time to admit that (in front of himself, of course! The others can never know…). When he finally did, it was already too late to be changed. I mean, he couldn't suddenly, after four years of rivalry and hatred, be all nice and lovely to the Boy Who Lived – even though he truly wanted to! He had to keep being mean to the black-haired boy and his friends, even though his real wish was to become a part of their group. Yep, despite his disgust of gingers and Mudbloods – be sure that he still hates them the same as he used to! After all, it was the only way to get closer to Harry. You're right, that wasn't exactly what the blond desired, but it was the closest thing, that was, somehow, logical to wish for. The other thing – was really exaggerated to think about! But Draco was a coward. So, he'd never tried to change something between him and the Gryffindor – he didn't have the courage for it.

And now, when they're finishing their fifth year, friendship is no longer a possibility for them, neither. It's too late for it, as well. So, the game of hatred continues. It had continued when Draco's heart was broken, after finding out Harry had a girlfriend. It continues now, even if Harry and Cho had already broken up. And it will continue because, clearly, Draco's feelings are one-sided. It'll continue because now it appears to be the only way to stay close to Harry. It's the only way, because Harry will never love him back.

Harry turned away and started to walk as fast as he could, before Draco would find something else to say, something that'll break Harry's heart to million new pieces. He wasn't in the mood: he just broke up with his girlfriend, and was especially tired after their loooong talk. And this fight now wasn't helpful at all.

It has been a while since Harry had started to question his feeling for Cho. Since the very beginning of their relationship, their kiss, Harry felt that something wasn't totally right. He knew something was missing, but… what? He couldn't understand back then.

The answer for that, he got a couple of weeks ago, during the Qwidditch game between Ravenclaw and Slytherin. He was sitting in the crowd, with Ron and Hermione, and looking at the field, like everybody else. Normal. Then, in the middle of the game, he noticed something odd. He realizes, for his great surprise and horror, that instead of looking at his girlfriend, the sexy seeker of the Ravenclaws, he's staring at the not-less-sexy (not that Harry admitted this fact back then…) seeker of the other team. Slytherin's seeker. And as you know, he wasn't just the-seeker-of-Slytherin. For now, let's ignore the fact that he's a he – a guy, which is also an interesting fact, and focus more on the detail that this specific guy – was no one else than Draco-Freaking-Malfoy! Also known as Harry's biggest enemy! (Well, after You-Know-Who, of course…)

During the next two days, Harry was all confused and terrified. He was wandering around, trying to figure out what it all means, to reorder his messy thoughts. To tell the truth, it didn't go so well: he wasn't able to find even one logical explanation – none! He was trying, at first, to convince himself that he was only looking at him in order to find tactics of defeating him in the following games. But, really, everybody knows that Harry plays much better than Malfoy!

After a while, decided the boy with the lightning scar not to think about it anymore. He tried to focus on other things: friend, school, his bloody girlfriend. Anything!

Afterwards, came horrible date with Cho. The girl took him to a sticky restaurant, full of in loved couples. Everything was too pink and with too much hearts and smiles and this weird pictures of two naked angels. Harry wanted to throw up! He couldn't breathe. He didn't want to be there. Not with her.

'What the bloody hell do you mean by "not with her"?!' Harry thought anxiously, 'With who, then?!'

Suddenly, without any warnings, a much unexpected picture appeared in his mind: he saw himself, sitting in the same place, laughing and holding hands with… with… he wasn't sure with who. Well, at least until the bright head turned away and… harry almost spilled his water! Returning to reality right away, he realized he's still there, but not with Malfoy. With his sticky girlfriend that… 'Wait a minute! When did she move so close to me?!'

And then – he understood: he doesn't want to be here with her because, well, he wanted to be here with someone else. A specific someone else!

Everything became clear and obvious. No matter how hard Harry tried to deny this understanding, he couldn't ignore his beating heart. He was in love. And it wasn't with Cho Chang. Though he wished it was! The truth, his feelings wasn't even for a girl! Yes, it was a guy. Slytherin. Blond. The worst choice he could ever make! However, there was nothing Harry could have done to change it. He was in love with Draco Malfoy.

And he wasn't the only one to notice something wasn't right – Cho noticed as well. and this was it, the beginning of the end. Two weeks later they had the talk in which they both agreed that their relationship is falling apart – yes, they both agreed on that! Cho, of course, didn't know the reason, but it was obvious that Harry is not into her, and that the best thing to do is to break up.

Actually, Harry did feel like was missing something. Maybe, after all, he had to give the girl another shot? Maybe, something about his feeling could have changed, if he had stayed with her?! However, he didn't want to continue lying to her. After all, she was important to him! So, he wished her good luck and hoped they could stay friends.

But Cho is not the issue right not. I mean, she is – but Harry has a much bigger problem to deal with at the moment!

He slowed a little his walking, right before the corner. He had a short moment of hope. Hope that, maybe, the Slytherin will run after him, will say that he is sorry about the way he treated Harry minutes ago, and, in general, about his behavior all of these years. Harry hoped he'll say that everything he'd done was because of his fears, because he'd been a stupid coward, who was afraid of his feelings for Harry, who was afraid that his feelings are one-sided only. Harry wished for this magical moment so hard! If it happened, Harry would be able to, finally, say out loud the thing he has been hiding for so long. To smile happily and tell him that there is nothing to be afraid of because he, Harry, feels the same about Draco. To laugh about how stupid, they both were - loving each other, but thinking that there is no way the other one feels the same! Afterwards, of course, Draco would have hugged him, trying to be as close as he could to the Gryffindor, in order to make sure it has been real, to make sure his wasn't dreaming. They would have gotten closer and closer to each other, refusing to let go. Draco would have whispered that from that time on everything would be different: there would be no more lies, no more secrets, no more fears, and more and more clichés. Harry knew that there's nothing more calming than words, whispered in your ear, by the person you love the most!

He truly hoped – hoped for a tiny moment, not more than that. Right after it passed, he returned to the cold and cruel reality, where no one is hugging him, no one whispering. In the reality, the only things Harry hears from the Slytherin's mouth are insults. A reality in which, instead of a warm look, the blond looks at him with hatred and disgust. When Harry passed the corner, he started to run as fast as he could. He wished he could punch himself in the face, for his stupid thoughts.

'That's what I deserve!' he thought. He had to wake up from his fantasies, and to understand that here, in the real world, he had to forget. Never to think about it again! To never have this stupid and impossible hope, even for a second. It's the only way, because Draco will never love him back!

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