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Plastic Spoons

By RavenclawRachel

Humor

Plastic Spoons

It happened in advanced potions class. Slughorn had assigned new desk partners this year, and I was paired with fucking Lavender Brown of all people. Seriously. How that ditz ever managed to get into this class is beyond me.

Anyway, we were brewing (or ruining, in the case of my desk partner) Pepperup Potion. Brown, as always, kept up a constant, inane chatter over idiotic things such as clothes and whatever bullshit Witch Weekly had said about the Hobgoblins reforming with all of their original members, which is ridiculous because everyone knows the drummer, who was the only member who was actually any good, died two years ago.

Then she started going on about how hot Weasley was and how he'd never notice her and blah blah blah, and I finally snapped. I cast a stasis charm over my potion (couldn't have it spoil, now, could we?) and turned to face her.

"I swear to Merlin, Brown, if you don't bloody shut up I'm going to carve out your eyes with a plastic spoon!" I shouted.

The room was deathly silent.

Brown started sniffling. Oh, please, dear Merlin, tell me the bitch isn't really going to start crying.

No such luck. She burst into loud, wailing sobs and ran from the room.

"Miss Turpin," Slughorn said, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to take thirty points from Ravenclaw and assign you a detention for Thursday evening."

"Yes, sir," I mumbled, then turned back to my potion. Fuck. I lost my temper and now I have a bloody detention for Thursday night, and we have a Transfiguration test Friday morning!

'Oh, shit,' I realized, almost groaning aloud. 'Julie, Morag, and Quintus are never going to let me live this down!' I turned to look at Julie and Quintus at a table behind me in the row over, and sure enough, they're both laughing at me.

'Nope,' I thought, 'I'm never going to live this one down.'

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75sandwiches: A great fantasy story (that I really hope is still ongoing) that includes:-A forgotten middle child-Forgettable pronunciation-A dude in need of souls-Threat of possible nonexistence-Eternal doom???Please, please let this story be on going. This is too good to stop at three chapters. The tone is s...

Nishchitha Shetty: It's really very simple and cute storyAnd I love the sarcasm........Ur definitely good at jokes....can't stop laughing sometimes Ur pretty good writer love to read ur stories...:)Gooooog job;)

mmalaikagimbiya123: When I read this all the way I started crying I was in class when it happen. It is a really good book and you are a good writer.

pencil: It is well written and the story flows quite evenly and there is somehow something strange about it that makes one read on and the thing is the story is originally told. For something so simple it is elegant and well versed in literary traditions.

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