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A Slice of Lemon

By dccyy

Children / Humor

Chapter 1

"Do it, Malfoy."

"Are you insane, Weasel? You know she'll have my head."

"Come on, Malfoy, you're such a fuc-" he stops suddenly "wuss."

"Malfoys are not wusses, Potter, you tosser." Draco said arrogantly.

"Come on, just do it already! Before she comes home and has all our heads. With bloody birds." Ron nearly begged.

Sniggers came from both Draco and Harry.

"Seems like he'll never forget that incident in sixth year." Harry snickered, as he shared a glance with Draco.

"You deserved it, you absolute idiot." smirked Draco.

"Really, Ron. Of all people, Lavender?" came the exasperated voice of Harry.

"Okay, that's enough!" Ron snapped, "We're digressing."

What a sight it was, three grown men sat in a row, on a rather patchy looking sofa, whilst facing an innocent baby, perched high up on a baby chair. The baby only stared back with a lost look upon its face, as if to say, what's going on? 

"Okay Malfoy," breathed Ron, "If you're too chicken to do it, let the brave, courageous Gryffindor do it."

"I resent that." came the reply of Draco, but hesitantly passed the object to him. "Potter, don't be a useless lump. Get the camera ready," he muttered.

They were speaking in hushed tones, too afraid that if they talked too loudly, it would make the baby cry; which they knew was a major no-no. The consequences would be ghastly indeed.

"Okay Weasley, do it!" urged Draco impatiently.

"Here goes..." Ron stretched his arm out, and placed the slice of lemon in the baby's mouth. The baby, excited to have something to munch on, gave a great enthusiastic suck. The men had identical, goofy smiles on their face, growing bigger and bigger each second. Suddenly the baby stopped sucking. He shivered, while his eyebrows furrowed together, eyes squeezed shut, and scrunched his cute button nose and mouth up. All the while, the silence of the living room filled with snaps and clicks from the wizarding camera Harry held, and the boisterous laughter from the three men at the sight of the poor baby's reaction to the lemon. Streaks of tears running down Ron's red, freckled face, while he clutched his stomach, shaking with laughter. Draco roared with laughter, slapping his hand down to his knee repeatedly.

"Do it again Ron! Do it again!" Harry pleaded, chortling all the while.

The magical camera caught the laughter and mirth towards the baby's scrunched up face again. They were laughing so hard that they didn't hear the front door creaking open slowly, nor did they hear the steady footfalls of someone coming in.

"What exactly is going on in here?" a cool, questioning voice came above them.

The howling and hysterics stopped instantly. A deathly silence descended upon the whole house. Hermione Malfoy stood with her arms crossed, a sure sign that she was going to getangry. Ron sometimes compared her to a dormant volcano, usually very calm, but could erupt quickly at anytime. Not that he told that to her face though.

"Uhh... Hi 'Mione, bye 'Mione." Ron rushed out, passing the slice of lemon to Draco, before hurrying to the Floo to escape the wrath of his best friend. 'Scary' couldn't even sum up Hermione when she was mad.

"I think I'll be heading off now... Ginny..." Harry stared at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck, Apparating on the spot.

Cowards, Draco thought. Those absolute wankers! 

"Well?" prompted Hermione, tapping her foot impatiently.

Oh great... the foot is out, he rolled his eyes mentally.

"You do know that doesn't scare me anymore, love?" He arches a brow and throws a smirk at her.

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes at him, while she uncrossed her arms to pick the baby up.

"My little Scorpius, what have your bad uncles and daddy done to you, hmm?" She cooed lovingly at him, pressing his tiny body close to hers, her velvety curtain of brown waves flowed down blocked him from her line of vision.

Meanwhile, a body was slowly making its way off the couch, attempting to sneak off to the kitchen.

"I wasn't done with you." She commented, without turning her head to glance at him.

Damn! So close! He thought with a cringe. Turning around to face her, he closed his fist around the slice of lemon and hid it behind his back, praying she wouldn't pick up on it. But of course - who was he kidding? She was Hermione Granger. Was. Now she's a gorgeous Malfoy. Not that she was ugly before; but she's all mine now. A smirk formed on his lips, as he stared at her and their son.

"Draco, stop smirking and show me what you have in your hand." Came the exasperated voice of Hermione.

DAMN! She was too good, as usual. Bloody witch. 

Draco sighed as he walked up to them, unfurling his fist slowly. He shut his eyes and waited for the raging storm to advance.

"Really Draco. Another lemon slice?" A feminine sigh escaped her pretty mouth. The things I'd do to that pretty mouth, he thought salaciously. "Are you really that bored?" She asked, quirking an arched brow at him.

He opened his grey eyes slowly, warily, but all she was doing was stroking Scorpius' soft, dirty blonde hair, staring expectantly into Draco's eyes all the while.

"Want to see it again?" he asked with a snigger.

Hermione just rolled her eyes, and turned to walk away, heading to give Scorpius a bath.

"Come on, love, you know I find how funny his adorable little face scrunches up every time!" He started trailing behind her, a broad smile lighting up his face, "Hermione!"

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