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Welcome to Fan Music

By Maya Goldstein

Romance / Fantasy

Chapter 1

Author's Note: This story is co-written by Spottedmask12. We don't own any of the characters or songs. We are not J.K Rowling. Waaaaa!


Gryffindor and Slytherin Transfiguration class:

It was a normal day in Transfiguration class. McGonagall was boring the class as she talked about animagus when suddenly a bright light sliced through the room and Professor McGonagall had disappeared. In her place were a projector and a screen as well as Bellatrix Black, Narcissa Black, Lucius Malfoy, Regulus Black, and Albus Dumbledore.

Everybody screamed as words appeared in bright purple on the screen. Bellatrix read, "Welcome to the future music of what is to occur in your near future. If you want to continue listen, if you don't you are still listening. There is a list of rules. Rule 1: Judge everyone at the end. Rule 2: Be nice or else. Rule 3: No magic can be used in this room, and if you try to your wand will disappear. You have been warned. Now sit back and enjoy the music of the future. Have fun!"

Everyone gulped worriedly and then the music started.

House Song by Ministry of Magic

I'm a Ravenclaw

I like to read books

When I cast spells

They're off the frickin' hook

James looked utterly confused but refrained from commenting. Sirius had no issue yelling "What the fuck!"

I'm a Gryffindor

I'll fly with my friends

We'll never back down

And fight to the end

All of the Gryffindors yelled, "Got that right!" The Slytherins just sneered.

I'm a Slytherin

I am very rich

I'll go on a date

With whoever gets the snitch

To say the Slytherins objected was a little bit of an understatement.

I'm a Hufflepuff

Just stayin' relaxed

Gimme drinks and friends

No feuds we got tact

Sirius yelled, "Any Hufflepuff supporters in the room. No, oh alright." He sat down with an exaggerated huff and everyone looked at him strangely.


(Slytherin): Ew, who brought the Hufflepuff?

Sirius stood up indignantly and said, "Hey! Be nice."

(Hufflepuff): Hey, I'm just trying to have a good time over here.

"Go Huffle!" Sirius cheered.

James looked over at Remus, "I think he's finally cracked."

The look Remus gave said Finally when was he ever sane?

Have a good time

A good time

I'm a Ravenclaw

I got wit beyond measure

I can catch a snitch

like it's caught up in a tether

Both houses yelled, "When has that ever happened?"

I'm a Slytherin

The house of the snake

Come get in my way

And get tossed in the lake

Sirius and James snorted, "You can't compete with Gryffindor awesomeness."

Lilly glared at them even though she was no longer friends with Severus.

I'm a Gryffindor

And we own the sky

Yeah, we always win

With our rally cry

"We have a rally cry?! I didn't know that. Why wasn't I informed of this? I am a chaser on the team!" Frank cried.

"Don't worry Frank, I never knew either." James consoled his friend.

I'm a Slytherin

The top of my class

If you disagree

I'll kick your Muggle ass

"Well that's not nice to say!" Lilly said, "I don't say that if you disagree with me I'll kick you in the rear."


(Alex): Uh, Alan, do you even know what Harry Potter is?

(Alan): Well, I haven't read the books, but I've seen all the movies!

Everyone asked, "Who's Harry Potter?!"
"James, did you do something I need to know of," Sirius asked seriously.

James turned bright red and mumbled something no one could hear as the song continued on.

Let's beat him up

Let's beat him up

"Why would you beat someone for that?" Alice asked.

All the Slytherins refrained from sneering though Bellatrix just barely.

I'm a Slytherin

A big fan of Snape

"What the fuck!" The Slytherins and everyone else for the matter were confused especially Severus.

If it's a MoM album

We have to say Snape

"Why is Severus so important?" Regulus asked

I'm a Hufflepuff

We're true to the end.

United we stand

So I'll stand with my friends

"Puffles! Puffles!" Sirius cheered.

I'm a Gryffindor

Aas brave as the come

And my namesake sword

Will get the job done.

"Cool! I call the sword!" Peter yelled.

I'm a Ravenclaw

My brain is super fast

Like Sheldon Cooper

"Who is Sheldon Cooper?" Frank asked.

"He's probably a muggle," Bellatrix sneered.

But not a total ass.


(Luke): So who's this Sheldon Cooper guy, anyway, Aaron?

(Aaron): He's from the show The Big Bang Theory.

You're out of the band.

He's no Spock

I don't want to go

"Well that's the end of that song," Professor Dumbledore, who everyone forgot was there, commented, "Are we ready for the next one?"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Everyone yelled, but the screen had a mind of its own and started to play another song.

Continue Reading Next Chapter
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