Link's (Sexual) Awakening
In Kakariko Village, there is a house that none dare enter for fear of the horrific, misshapen creatures inside. Link, the Hero of time, the bearer of the Triforce of Courage, not only went inside, he slept in one of their beds. To be fair, they didn't exactly need them, and, hey, they offered. He had already defeated the Forest Temple. Next he had to go see what was going on on Death Mountain this time.
Sunlight filtered in through the dirty and mostly-boarded up window, right onto Link's face. He scrunched his face up and rolled over… onto wetness. He groaned. Now he'd have to change the sheets- again.
It had happened a few times when he was living in the Kokiri Forrest, before Navi had come to him. A few times he had woken up and thought he had wet the bed; only thing was, it didn't smell the same. He had tried asking the Know-It-All Brothers but they didn't have the same problems he seemed to have. Their things never stood upright or leaked weird fluids. Asking about it had only made everyone even more certain of how strange he really was. Even now, in Hylia, he felt strange. He did not know the customs that people expected him to know already, such as not breaking people's pots or knocking before entering a house, or a variety of things he had noticed.
"Morning," one of the cursed sons said, sliding down on a web close to Link's face. All that could be seen of the person he once was were his eyes and a human arm that stuck out the side of the skulltula body. There were five brothers and a father living in this cursed House of Skulltula. They had told him their names but Link could not really tell them apart.
Link sat up and mumbled his greetings, trying to hide the wet spot from sight, to no avail.
"Oh, it happened again, did it?" the spider-son asked. Link blushed and fidgeted. "Hey, have you ever tried… well… you know…?" he made a weird gesture with his human hand. "I'm sure if you get it out that way you won't have to worry about it coming out in your sleep."
Link's eyebrows furrowed together.
"What, you mean you never tried it?" the son asked, aghast.
"Tried what?" Link finally asked, annoyed that he did not know what he was talking about.
The spider-son made an odd noise and moved up and down his web. "I can't believe you've never… well just grab…"
"That's enough," the father-spider boomed in his distinguishably deep voice as he slid down between them. He faced his son first, showing Link his weakspot. Link pushed down his instincts, which screamed at him to slash now while it was facing the other way. "We may be cursed, but we are not peasants and we do not do such things." He flipped around to face Link with a swishing noise and continued, "It will stop happening when you get married. That's all you need to know." He turned back to his son. "Unless you are helping him, leave him be. All our hopes rest on him."
The son sighed but acquiesced and slid back up his web away from Link. The father gave a jerky sort of bow and also left, leaving Link far more confused than he had been before.
Sweat rolled down Link's forehead as he entered the inside of the volcanic crater. Luckily, the Gorons had been kind enough to fashion him a Goron Tunic at a discounted price so he could travel through here safely. Link looked over the edge at the lava far below. He would have to be especially careful around here.
He came across a broken bridge and thanked his luck that he had the hookshot so he could cross it. As soon as he landed on the middle part of the bridge, Sheik jumped down gracefully in front of him on the end of it. As with every other time that Sheik had appeared, harps could be heard playing. Link looked around but could not figure out where the noise was coming from. Did someone else follow Sheik around, playing the harp? He had an odd picture of Sheik using the toilet to harp music…
Sheik began to talk in that melodious voice of his, bringing Link's attention back. "It is something that grows over time… a true friendship. A feeling in the heart that becomes even stronger over time…" As Sheik talked, Link's heartbeat sped up and Link found himself trailing his eyes down Sheik's form without realizing it. "The passion of friendship will soon blossom into a righteous power and through it, you will know which way to go. This song is dedicated to the power of the heart… Listen to the Bolero of Fire…"
And then Sheik was playing his harp again and Link's palms were sweaty. Well, he was sweaty everywhere in this heat, but now his palms were sweaty and wasn't Sheik hot? He should take off those bandages around his face and shouldn't he go get himself a tunic and… and now it was Link's turn to play.
Link paused, his eyes wide. He couldn't see Sheik's mouth, but he thought he could detect a trace of humor in his eyes as he wordlessly played the tune again. This time, Link paid attention, and when he finished playing it back on his ocarina, Sheik joined him and they played it again, together. The harmony they created flowed around them, momentarily making him forget the heat and his dire quest; as their duet came to a close Link felt a rush of exhilaration… and a tightening in his pants.
Link blushed but he had an idea. Sheik was a guy, right?
Sheik made to leave but Link stopped him. "Hey… uh… do you… ever have a problem… with your…" Link gestured at himself for lack of knowing what to say. Navi dinged and flew into his hat, quickly.
Sheik glanced down then took a step back, blushing furiously with wide eyes.
"I mean, it happens all the time and I don't know how to make it stop…" Link said. "Pretty girls, boredom, fighting, now playing the ocarina… anything at all can make it do this. And it's leaking this weird fluid at night…" he trailed off, suddenly aware of Sheik's complete lack of response.
Sheik remained immobile and silent for a few moments longer, then finally spoke: "It is the body's natural response to reaching maturity," he said, curtly.
"Um…" Link said. Before he could ask for any more clarification, fire appeared between the two of them. Sheik backed away, threw a smoke bomb, and disappeared. Link frowned. Why wouldn't anyone just give him a straight answer? Whatever, he needed to save Darunia and defeat some giant dragon.
A crescent moon shone down on the Hero of Time as he travelled down the mountain to Kakariko Village. He walked slowly, staring at the ground now that he was past all the monsters on the pass. His thoughts kept traveling back to all that had happened. Darunia was a sage… and Volvagia had been the monstrous dragon; little Volvagia that he had befriended as a child. His face scrunched up in rage. Ganondorf. If he hadn't infected little Volvagia…
He stood before the House of Skulltula and stared at the door for a long while before deciding he was not ready to enter yet. He was not ready to be happy and pretend everything was ok. So he left. He did not go far. He merely went to the Windmill. He sat in front of it on one of the boxes and let his thoughts wander once more.
Volvagia, who should have had little baby dragons of his own by now, dead by his hands. Darunia, unable to return home now that he had awakened as a sage. Saria… It seemed to him that everyone he befriended became a sage. If he had not come around they would have been able to continue on with their lives… But no, that was not quite right. If he had not come around, Ganondorf would have already won this fight.
A moan suddenly came from behind the windmill. Link pulled his sword out of its sheath- it sounded like someone was groaning in pain! He had no idea what was going on but…
He looked around the edge, at the field behind the windmill, and promptly ducked back behind the wall, his cheeks flaming. There were people back there and they… they were naked! And that man… he was… what was he doing with his mouth there?!
Link risked another quick glance, this time making an effort to look at the woman's face. He recognized her as the girl from that lovey-dovey couple at the Market when he was a kid. Weren't their names something silly like Candy and Dearie? Or were those just nicknames they always used with one another? No wait, Honey and Darling.
Honey gave another moan, then tightened her legs around Darling and stretched herself out. Link found his eyes roaming down away from Honey's face, to her chest. He felt an odd draining sensation and then that weird thing happened in his pants; only this time it felt rather… pleasant. Every moan made it twitch and even when he turned away he kept envisioning her there, completely unclothed, those round mounds looking so full and so soft… The pressure kept building.
He glanced again and found Honey and Darling in a different position. This time, Darling was standing and Honey was on her knees. She had her hand on… oh. It seemed Darling had the same problem. Link watched, entranced, as Honey moved her hands up and down Darling's… thing. Darling made small noises of approval and helped her out at times by doing the same thing to himself.
Navi finally came out of his hat to see what he was up to. She dinged then got right up in his face.
"What are you doing?!" she whispered. "This is a private moment and you need to respect that by not gawking!"
"If it's a private moment, then why are they out here?" Link whispered back.
Navi dinged. "Let's just get out of here!" she insisted.
Link could think of no argument besides that of satisfying his curiosity, and some other needs that he had not realized how to fulfill until now, so he followed her to bed. An ache emanated from down there the same as when he had fallen out of a tree and gotten hit by a tree branch there on his way down. By the time the ache finally subsided, everyone else in the house was soundly asleep.
Link closed his eyes, but saw Honey, naked and writhing. He opened his eyes again and stared at the ceiling, frustration curling around his insides. He thought about what the spider-son had said to him before and about what he had seen Honey and Darling do. He also thought about how Sheik had said it was natural but the spider father had said the solution was disgraceful.
Link tossed and turned for awhile before he made a decision. He checked to make sure Navi was asleep in his hat before taking his leave of the building.
Link sat in the same grassy field behind the windmill that Honey and Darling had been in early. A gentle wind blew by, giving him goosebumps. But even the cold could not distill the anticipation he felt. He thought back to what he had seen Honey and Darling doing and found himself quickly in the same situation as before. The same pressure built and he felt that odd sensation again. He tugged his pants down and touched himself as Darling had.
Pleasure built with the pressure now. He had expected that, but had not expected just how good it would feel. The pleasure built and built and built and…
A quiet moan escaped with the pleasure. He saw nothing and felt only the pure bliss that came with each pulse. As the last spikes of pleasure came and faded away, he lay back, suddenly drained and breathing hard, as if he had just fought a Dodongo.
As his breathing slowed, he opened his eyes and looked around. He noticed a familiar fluid on the grass and his pants. It was exactly the same one that he woke up to every morning. Hadn't the spider son said something about getting it out before bed and not having it come out in his sleep? He hoped so.
And if that didn't work… Well… then he wasn't doing it enough. He grinned a little. He would gladly do it as often as needed for him to wake up to clean sheets.
He cleaned himself off and found his way back to the House of Skulltula to finally get some sleep. The next morning, for the first time, he did not wake to wetness.