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The Pink Monstrosity

By gingersunlights

Humor / Fantasy

The Pink Monstrosity

Hermione Granger was a small, slight person, and her hair far outdid her own presence if one didn't look too carefully. The thing, though, was that Hermione had a bright, clear sort of face, and if you looked at her straight on, she shone like the sun.

Hair piled atop her head in a strange, sort of twisty mass, Hermione made her way out of the portrait hole and down three flights of stairs before she managed to look up from her book. This behavior, being quite usual, stood quite in contrast to the bright pink jumper/skirt combination she wore. Complete with a sequined lining, the clothes were a monstrosity, really.

"Hermione" called Harry, having run into her quite without her notice. It was this then, which caused her to finally look upward.

"Earth to Hermione!" Harry teased, waving his hand in front of her face.

"Oh, Harry, I'm sorry. I didn't see you at all." said Hermione, steadying herself.

"It's okay, really," said Harry, quirking his lips and stooping to pick up a dropped quill from the floor, "but 'Mione, what is that you're wearing, exactly?"

Looking down at herself, as though she had forgotten that her brain was attached to a body at all, Hermione tutted, and explained "Oh, I've borrowed it from Luna, she lent it to me just after I spilled armadillo bile all over my blouse this morning. It was a terrible experiment, to be sure.

"Really though," she said, screwing up her face as though trying to recall a particularly foggy memory, "I've no idea where she got it, the way she gave it to me, it looked just like she'd gotten it straight from her pocket."

Puzzling over the last tidbit, Hermione thought to herself that she must remember to ask Luna if she's got a handle on extension charms for clothing, because honestly, that could come in ever so handy.

"Well then, I suppose we've got to be thanking Luna then, hadn't we?" asked Harry, with a bit of a smile still on his mouth.

Coming out of her puzzled reverie, Hermione smiled, too, and was quick to agree "Oh yes, I do think that we must. Flowers, dear, and a choir of angels."

Harry outright laughing and Hermione tittering quietly now, the two made their way to the Great Hall, and blessedly, got there in one piece. Well, two pieces if one is finicky. It is fortunate, and more rare than should be normal, to get down seven flights of the castle stairs without running into mischief.

Sat at the Gryffindor table now, side by side, the pair had just begun to eat their respective breakfasts- toast for Hermione until Harry presses some oatmeal on her, and eggs with bacon and toast for Harry- when Ginny and Luna took seats opposite them.

"Hello then, honey, how's it going?" asked Ginny, swiping a slice of extra-crispy bacon from Harry's plate.

"Hey, no fair, that's the last crispy one!" complained Harry.

At Ginny's ensuing giggle, Harry made a grab for the orange she had just been peeling, and failed- quite badly, too.

Missing the whole thing by about a foot, Harry pitched sideways and nearly upset Dean's pumpkin juice.


"Sorry, mate."

"Oh, will you two stop it? You're going to get pumpkin juice all over Dante, and let me tell you that you will not be allowed to keep both your testicles if you ruin my copy of 'Inferno'." said Hermione.

"Sorry love, I'll be extra careful, I promise." said Harry, with a flourish, mockingly petting the spine of 'Inferno' until Hermione shooed his hand away.

Grumbling something about 'careless teenage boys,' Hermione turned back to her book, and tugged her newly-produced cloak tighter around herself to further conceal the Pink Monstrosity.

"Hello, Hermione." said Luna, to the room at large. For a moment Hermione wasn't absolutely sure that it was her to whom Luna spoke.

"Hello, Luna" said Hermione, warmly. "I find that I must thank you quite profusely for what we're now calling the 'Pink Thing.' You see, it has saved me the particularly unpleasant trouble of walking around without a blouse on."

Giggling a bit, Luna replied "Oh, yes, I do find that particular pink jumper set to be excellent for preventing unwanted nakedness."

"Right you are, Luna." said Harry, turning away from his low-key food fight with Ginny. "Ten-thousand kisses and a bushel of violets to you."

"Seconded!" exclaimed Ginny, mock- pouncing on Luna to deliver said ten-thousand kisses.

"A toast!" shouted Ron, approaching the table. "To Luna, the savior of girls and women everywhere!"

A 'hurrah' was then heard all round the Gryffindor table, and Luna dissolved into a fit of giggles so strong, that she had upset no less than two racks of toast, one egg-cup, and the butter dish by the time she was finished.

"I do so love us," said Ginny, recovering from her own fit still and clutching Luna's hand.

"Me, too" said Hermione, with a small smile.

Quite unhurriedly, the kids at the Gryffindor table returned to their breakfasts, and the teachers seated at the head table showed no signs that they had even noticed something had happened. In all likelihood, however, they hadn't. The Gryffindors were always making noise, weren't they?

Returning to her book now, Hermione settled back into the bench, and began to eat her breakfast once again. It was strange, here, in this brightly lit hall. For a moment, things were well, and no sign of the trouble to come could be seen. Nary a corner of the school was dank or dark on days these, and Hermione was grateful for it. She knew of what there was to be on the horizon, and she would take what sunshine she could get before the clouds rolled in, bringing with them the end of her adolescence. She didn't really get to have one of those, anyway, but today she could pretend. Just for a moment, she thought, glancing back at Harry, and then over to Ron. The latter was now engaged in an animated conversation with Luna which appeared to be about the relative beneficial properties of wormwood as it is used in boil-paste, and the former was watching Ginny perform a charm with great pomp and circumstance, sending sparkles and the aroma of poppies every which way. Just for a bit, then, she could pretend that there was nothing but sunshine, Ginny-kisses and Pink Monstrosities.

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