One Woman Army

Itsy Bitsy Spider

During Ironman 2

If Tony thought that letting Pepper handle the mantle of C.E.O gave him full absolution from playing any role in his company- it’s still his name on the building for god sake- then he was a certified idiot. And that was just putting it politely. It was still his duty to break the news (with detailed reasoning) to the Board. She had told him that when they had sat to sign the papers. But with the meeting in an hour and there was no sign of Tony. She had tried calling him but with no success. It seemed as if even JARVIS couldn’t help her. Now that she thinks of it, he’s been acting strange- well stranger than usual. The kind of behaviour that was more common when she was new. She wonders if it’s his mid life crisis or his PTSD finally catching up to him. She ought to look into a psychiatrist for him- which would be the easy part. Getting him to agree to work with one- she’d cross that bridge when it comes. But for now there was a meeting calling her and Tony. She picks the phone to call Happy to ask him to smoke Tony out. Half way through dialling she changes her mind and calls up Legal instead.

Ms. Natalie Rushman finds Mr. Stark in his kitchen wrestling with his blender. He has green goo in his hair and is bickering with his AI. He doesn’t realize he has company till she taps him on the shoulder. He jumps sending a glob of the goo flying in her direction which she side steps easily.

“Miss Legal. To what do I own the pleasure of your company?” He is quick to cover his displeasure of being disturbed.

“Ms. Potts sent me to collect you for the Board meeting. It starts in thirty minutes.”

Leaning against the counter he drawls, “I was under the impression that when I signed over the C.E.O position to Pepper, I signed over all my duties too; including the one where I have to sit in for boring meetings. You were there. Give me one good reason why I should torment myself with these meetings anymore.”

She raises a single eyebrow, unimpressed. “It’s still Stark Industries the last time I checked. Not Potts Industries.”

“Pssh. Please, Potts Industries is just lame. Very straight laced, unimaginative- no style at all. So your argument is I should go because of what the label on the can says? That’s lame Missy. I’m not at all impressed. Are you sure you belong in Legal?” He snorts as he tries to squeeze his way out of the kitchen. Tries being the operative word as he finds ‘Missy’ calmly blocking his exit.

“Ms Potts made it clear that I am to get you to the Board meeting. Your presence there is not negotiable,” she states as if reading it off a manual.

He smirks. “Aren’t you a bit green for the task?” Her brow cocks towards his goo flecked hair at the green comment. He smiles, all teeth.

“Mr. Stark, Ms. Potts was going to send Mr. Hogan to collect you. But at the last moment she insisted I come instead. Do you know why?” All she receives for her effort is a blank stare. This is why she prefers action instead of words. She sighs and prays to the gods she doesn't believe in for patience.

“Let me put it in simple words Mr. Stark so you can easily understand. I like my job and I intend to keep it. And the only way I see me keeping the job is by not disappointing the C.E.O. who as you would remember is not you. So you can either choose to play games and I shall take you down like I took down Mr. Hogan. You remember don’t you, you were there,” she mocks. “Difference being that you will stay down, immobile. I will then have you loaded into the trunk of the car and deposited to the meeting. Or you can take ten minutes to clean up and meet me in the car. Are we clear?” She smiles sweetly.

“Crystal,” comes a manly squeak from Tony as he edges his way towards his room. His adversary smirks as she makes her way back to the car.

Pepper can’t help the smile forming when Tony stumbles into the meeting only forty minutes late.

But she later has to wonder if she had made a mistake when half way through the meeting Tony whispers to her gleefully, “She’s like a mini you, Pepper. Only more lethal; in a more physical way. I want her. Bad!

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