Remus woke that morning in pain. As he sat up he realised it wasn't physical pain, and as the memories of the day before came flooding back it all made sense. Yesterday he had gone to see Sirius. He had asked, no begged, to be allowed to see James and Lily, but Sirius, their secret keeper, had denied him, and arguing had followed.
"Honestly I'm not sure I know you Remus. Someone is feeding information to the deatheaters, and considering what you are... James and Lily happen to agree, and they really don't want to see you. Why they ever let you near Harry is beyond me."
No physical blows had been exchanged, but those words had knocked the breath out of him. Sadly he wasn't surprised that Sirius thought all of that, but the idea that James and Lily would agree hurt. Two of the first people to ever just accept him regardless of his condition. Lily, who was the only person ever to treat him completely the same after discovering him. James, who had thought of the idea of becoming animagi to help him.
And Peter? Remus knew for a fact that he had been to see Harry the week before, so he had been deemed trustworthy. Did he too doubt Remus' loyalties?
Remus was just getting up when he heard a call from his floo fireplace.
"Remus" Albus looked grave as he stepped out of the grate. "Have you heard?"
Filled with sudden dread, Remus shook his head.
"Last night Lord Voldemort got into Godrics Hollow. Harry survived."
Despite his shock Remus noticed that even Dumbledore could not bring himself to say that the Potters were dead.
"Can I... I need to go there."
"The fidelius charm will have fallen."
Again through his shock he felt sudden anger that the headmaster knew that he had been excluded from his friends life, and had not put in a good word for him.
"Even I was not sure Remus, I am so sorry. Now it is clear though that Sirius was the one we should have been suspicious of."
Yet another regret to add to Remus' list- without his selfish interference his friends might still be alive. He had no doubt that it was his visit yesterday that had tipped Sirius over the edge. He ran to the door, and apparated to the cottage.
He stepped into the cottage and there was James. Lifeless, James-less, empty. Remus could see he didn't even have his wand. It was so James to try and take on the Dark Lord without even a weapon if it would buy his family some time.
Remus walked up to the stairs to Harry's bedroom. That was the only room with its landing door open. As he looked round he tried to remember the happy times they had spent there, trying to get Harry to sleep; playing with the baby; Padfoot curling up in the cot, not that Remus wanted to think about him. Anything was better than looking at the floor where Lily lay. It was clear that she had given her life for Harry, but that didn't make it hurt less. Remus had seen her sleeping many times; in the common room when she fell asleep over homework; in seventh year when she finally decided to give James a chance, and they would fall asleep together on the sofas by the fire; in the living room of that very house, during their intensive research periods. But this looked nothing like sleeping, there was too much stillness. Lily didn't have her wand either.
He couldn't cry. Maybe that meant that Sirius had been right, that he was a monster. In the last twenty four hours he had lost three of the most important people in his life, but the truth was he had lost them before that - Sirius when he had chosen to follow his family into darkness, and the other two when they had allowed him to sow seeds of doubt in their minds.
It was just him and Peter left now.
Someone had obviously been there, and anyway it was clear what had happened. Remus needed to move the bodies, put them in the bed, make them look less empty, a little bit more natural.
As Remus Lupin placed the bodies of two of his best friends into their bed, in London a hysterical Sirius Black was arrested by the aurors.
"Remus" the voice startled him, he hadn't heard the headmaster approaching. "I'm afraid I have yet more bad news to deliver." Remus doubted it could make his day any worse. "Sirius has been arrested in London, but not before killing 13 muggles, and Peter."
Okay, maybe his day could get worse.
Peter was gone.
With a last look towards the Potters in their bed, he left the remains of the house, and apparated to the place he knew the show down would have happened.
The street to most people was not important. It was a small alley, about as far away from Diagon Alley as London could get. However, just round the corner was a small pub, which was where the four marauders had drunk after James had proposed to Lily (and a little bit before he did too); where they had gone for the stag night; where they had gone to get drown sorrows when the Potters had their first married argument; where they had gone to drink the night after Harry had been born; and many other times in between. It was where Remus had gone last night after his argument with Sirius, to remind himself of all those times when the four of them had seemed invincible.
Therefore it did not surprise Remus when he appeared to find a crime scene, no surprise that both Peter and Sirius had both gone there before him.
It did not help him though, seeing the destruction did not help him find any peace. Maybe seeing Peter's body would have helped, but that was doubtful as it hadn't with James and Lily. Either way, looking around he realised that the chances of a body being in one piece was highly unlikely.
A hand came down on his shoulder, and he looked once again into the blue eyes of Dumbledore. Again he felt a stir of anger, did the old fool have nothing better to do that to follow him around, but this time it was only faint. He wasn't really feeling anything anymore, just complete numbness.
"Remus, we need to get you out of here."
He looked down at himself and almost laughed, he was still in his pyjamas, still barefoot.
"We're going to need to pay a visit to the registry I think."
Now he thought about it, he had been standing there for long enough, and his feet were bare, and Sirius had done a rather good job at destroying people.
Fortunately everyone was very happy about Voldemort's defeat, even in the werewolf registry. With Albus Dumbledore by his side, Remus was let off without having to explain, which was a very good thing, as he didn't think he could put any of the events of the day into words, even with the tongue loosening effects of veritaserium.
After that Albus brought him to the school hospital wing- there was no way he should be left alone, and Madame Pomfrey always had enjoyed mothering him, no matter how old he got.
"How is he doing?" Minerva asked Albus a few days later.
"Still in shock I think, although starting to come to terms with everything. I'm just trying to keep the Ministry off his back for a bit longer. " At her shocked look, "they want him in for questioning about the deaths of James and Lily Potter."
"Why? Remus would never have anything to do with that."
"We know that, but the ministry doesn't. He was just as much a friend of Black's as he was of the Potters. Besides the Ministry is naturally prejudiced, due to his condition."
"Well then they know nothing. Anyone who spent any time with that lot would know that no matter what Remus Lupin is, he is not a murderer, and that he would never do anything to hurt any of the others, particularly Lily Evans."
If only Remus could have heard his old teachers words, it might have helped at little in the next few days, through the interrogation, the allegations, of crimes that he could still not yet fully comprehend.
That Halloween the wizarding world celebrated. Lord Voldemort was gone, so many lives saved. A few mourned the passing of Lily and James Potter, fewer still that of Peter Pettigrew. Remus however was not relieved. He had lost everything and everyone. The world was saved, but his world was ended.