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Issei the King of Kings

By ReclusiveDork

Adventure / Humor

Return of GOD

Issei, King of Kings

(P.S.-I own NOTHING!)

Year 777 AD-end of the great war.

God has perished in the final conflict, though not without defeating his five greatest foes, four of whom also perished-The fifth, known as the Trihexa, sealed inside the perfect prison. The ranks of the four who perished were inherited by the strongest of the devils on the allied division, also known as the Anti-Maou division- Gremory as Lucifer, Sitri as Leviathan, Astaroth as Beelzebub, and Glasya-Labolas as Asmodeus.

However, the one known as God has always found a way around death, And this time will be no different... Give or take a couple millenia.


My name is Issei Hyoudou, and I was having the best day of My life. Earlier, a SUPER hot babe asked me on a date. Of course he accepted. So I spent a couple hours planning our date. First, I took her to a burger shop, then, I introduced her to the arcade, and to top it all off, a walk through the park.

That was when it all went to hell. Actually, Purgatory is more accurate.

Yuuma Amano-that's the girls name- looked at me with an adorable expression and asked me, "Ise-kun, would you do anything for me?"

It seemed innocent enough, so I said yes. She followed up with a much weirder question- "Would you die for me?"

I don't know what I expected, but it certainly wasn't for her to suddenly transform into a black-winged angel in a leather dominatrix outfit. And I most definitely didn't expect her to form a spear of fuckin' LIGHT and throw it at me.

I don't know how I did it, but I managed to dodge the spear, but that was short-lived as I ran right into the path of a second one.

I braced myself for a great deal of pain.

What I got, though, was a strangely pleasant warmth that spread through my whole body.

Then came the migraine. It felt as if someone was taking eleven jackhammers and drilling my skull to mush.

MEMORY! So many Memories. Memories that couldn't possibly be mine, but most definitely WERE. Memories that stretched back to the Dawn of Time.

My name was Issei Hyoudou, I was a rather perverted boy, who had absolutely zero people I could truly call my friends.

Now, My name is something lost to the sands of time, I am a completely Pure soul unable to hate any living being with billions of followers who pray to me every day.

I am the Truth.


Meanwhile, up in heaven, Michael the archangel was supervising the creation of the Brave Saints, a system similar to Evil peices, only using holy energy in the form of cards, instead of demonic energy in the form of chess pieces.

He was looking at a particularly promising attempt when an immense wave of holy energy flowed through the room, destroying the current attempt and unbalancing every angel that was standing(Including himself).

"What in God's name just happened?" muttered one of the younger cherubim.

But Michael recognized this power. Unable to keep his excitement under control, he immediately said what was on his mind. "That's EXACTLY what happened... Or rather, Who."

The aforementioned cherubim stared at Michael in disbelief. "You can't be serious. He died, remember? People don't just come back from dying like that."

Michael smiled. "You're both right and wrong there. Normal people don't come back from the dead... But God? God never truly dies. After all, he IS the only Truth in this world."


In an apartment complex rather near to the park that the incident was happening, Azazel was attempting to defeat a computer-controlled opponent in his newest video game, Super Smash Bros. He was distracted, however, when an Incredible wave of holy energy crashed over him, breaking his concentration long enough to lose the fight.

"It can't be... He's back?"

Azazel then noticed the 'victory' screen. "What! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My perfect record!"


In the vast reaches of Hell, Sirzechs Lucifer was curled up in the lowest corner of his basement. "Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me."


Raynare was NOT having a good day.

First she made the mistake of revealing herself to the boy Azazel assigned her to watch. She tried to fix that by asking him out, so she could erase his memory.

Then she was approached by Kokabiel, who ordered her to kill the boy, or face death.

Next, when she had reached the end of the date, she decided to follow Kokabiel's orders, and attempted to kill him.

Only he didn't die. There was no blood, no scream of pain, no death... Only a bright light that quickly receded to reveal that the boy was, in fact, a holy being.

And not only that... But a god.

No... Not a god, but GOD.

She really fucked up.

"Actually, Raynare, I'd say you did me a favor."

Looking up in shock, Raynare saw the Holy One standing above her, Looking almost completely the same, save for that color and length of his hair, said hair being waist-length and completely white.

"What? But, but I tried to KILL you!"

The white-haired God chuckled. "Indeed, you tried to kill me. But you did so with no hatred in your heart, only resignation. But, tell me. Why didn't you go to Azazel when Kokabiel interrupted his orders?"

Raynare looked ashamed. "I... I didn't think of that. Sorry, Your majesty."

The reincarnated God laughed outright at this. "You don't need to call me that. Call me... You know, I think I'm rather fond of the name I was given upon my rebirth, so call me Issei."


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