Chapter 1
"I stay, to watch you fade away, I dream of you tonight, tomorrow you'll be gone."
Hermione huffed irritably for the sixth time in as many minutes. Normally, she loved the library. It was her one sanctuary; her escape when dealing with the boys, or her classes, or just people in general, became too bothersome for her to handle.
For the last 3 weeks however, her sanctuary had become decidedly less zen.
She'd barely paid him any attention at first. It was a big library and there were always people coming and going. Ordinarily, she'd have been able to block them out. It was all background noise, another part of the comfort she usually found when sitting in here.
The first day she noticed him she'd thought she must be seeing things. In all her time at Hogwarts she couldn't remember ever seeing Malfoy in the library, and even if she had, she doubted he'd be in here to actually read.
When he'd simply sat in the corner, reading and taking what looked like notes, she'd assumed he must be here to complete some last minute classwork.
Their OWL's were coming up soon and she supposed even Malfoy had to study sometimes, after all, his father only had so much pull and the only teacher he seemed to be able to slack off with was Snape and even he had been harder on the Slytherin's lately.
She'd chalked it up to an off day and gone back to her reading.
When he'd appeared the next day and took a seat a few tables away from her, she had taken a lot more notice.
And, okay, it wasn't that she'd ever actually took much notice of Malfoy before. She only ever really acknowledged his existence when it was unavoidable. The last time she'd actively done that her fist had ended up having a pretty interesting encounter with his face.
Unfortunately, no matter how small her interest was in something, she tended to catalogue whatever it was in detail. That (and only that) was why she'd noticed that Malfoy was looking a little more haggard than usual.
She'd felt a brief stab of concern before reminding herself that this was Malfoy and he'd sooner see her hexed into oblivion than feel anything more than hatred for her. She cursed her caring nature, some people just didn't deserve it.
She had decided to just ignore him as she usually did. He wasn't outright bugging her so she saw no reason why him being there should be bothering her at all.
The plan worked perfectly for the first week until her overly analytical brain decided to update her on exactly where Malfoy had been sitting for the remainder of that week. Rather than picking a seat and sticking to it, like she did, he seemed unable to settle in any one place and as such kept moving around. Again, this wouldn't have bothered her if it weren't for the fact that his inability to pick a spot and stick to it meant he was gradually getting closer and closer to where she was sitting.
There was also the fact that the closer he got the more she got the feeling that he was looking at her. The first few times she'd thought this she had put it down to the fact that changes in routine never sat well with her. She liked things to be ordered and structured and the same. Malfoy was like that one book that wouldn't quite fit properly on an otherwise perfect shelf.
She'd always been a slightly paranoid person so things like this were bound to set her on edge.
Hermione had only actually caught him looking at her a handful of times. Each time she had he'd looked away so quickly that she couldn't even be sure he actually had been looking at her in the first place.
Then yesterday she'd looked up when she'd felt his eyes on her and he'd actually carried on looking at her. His expression had confused her. There was something fierce in it, almost like he was trying to communicate some hidden emotion but he had no idea how to go about voicing it. He'd looked desperate, though she couldn't imagine why he'd look at her that way. She hoped he didn't think he was going to use her for some sort of tutoring. He seemed to be really into his studies at the moment and she was already helping Harry and Ron catch up, there was no way she was going to help someone else, especially someone who had done nothing but bully and taunt her since they'd met.
She looked up once more to find him staring at her again and fought back another huff of irritation. Seriously, what was his problem?
He was practically sat across from her now. A small table was all that separated her desk from his.
She tried to go back to reading but it was impossible when she could feel his eyes all over her. Finally, digging up the courage Gryffindor's were famed for, she set her book down and looked up at him. If he wanted to stare at her she'd stare right back until he got over whatever the hell this was and left her alone.
He met her eyes for a moment before jolting up suddenly and heading towards the bookshelves, walking behind one and disappearing almost entirely from sight. She could just see him through the gap between books, leaning back against the other side of the shelves as if he wanted to sink straight through them.
Knowing she'd never get through another book in peace if she didn't confront whatever the hell was going on with him, she pushed herself up and made her way as confidently as she could towards where he was now slouching.
His eyes were closed and he looked pained as she got closer. She felt another stab of concern, this time stronger, before she shook her head. Dammit, Hermione, get it together. It's Malfoy.
She cleared her throat when she got as close as she dared. His eyes snapped open and locked on her face, she saw his familiar haughty arrogance replace whatever vulnerability had been there before and braced herself for the no doubt vicious insult he was going to throw at her this time.
"Stalking me, Granger? I didn't think you had it in you to stoop any lower." He smirked, it seemed to lack his usual malice though so she merely rolled her eyes and squared her shoulders. This would be the last day she'd spend in this library dealing with him.
"You're one to talk," she raised an eyebrow disbelievingly, "I've seen the way you look at me when you think I don't notice." She was pleased to see his smirk slip.
"I don't know what you're talking about." He countered standing up straighter now.
Hermione scoffed, did he think she was blind?
"You've been staring at me on and off for the last three weeks, Malfoy. If you have something to say, just get it out so I can go back to reading in peace. Although, if you're looking for a tutor the answer is a very definite no so if that's what you wanted to ask save your breath because it's not happening."
"I don't need a tutor and there is nothing I could ever want from you." He sneered at her, stepping closer.
She took a step back, then chastised herself. She wouldn't let him intimidate her.
"Then why do you keep moving closer to my table and staring at me?"
"I keep moving because there's not one comfortable chair in this damn hellhole and I do not keep staring at you, you're imagining things."
"I'm not an idiot. Every time I look up at you you're looking at me. I'm not imagining it. Tell me why." She was getting frustrated now.
"I'm not looking at you!" Malfoy hissed. There was a broken sort of plea to his voice, almost like he was trying to convince himself, not her.
Hermione threw her hands up in exasperation. "Yes, you are!" She tried to control her anger. They were staring furiously at each other now. She couldn't ever remember being this mad at someone. A part of her realized that she was probably overreacting but it was irritating her that he wouldn't admit it.
They were a lot closer now. She could practically feel him vibrating with anger and wondered how far she was prepared to push him. He'd never struck her as a violent person; misguided and horribly mean, but never violent. In fact, she was the only one out of the two of them who'd hit the other. She had her wand on her anyway and she was pretty sure she could outmanoeuvre anything he tried to do to her.
They were both breathing slightly erratically. She saw his eyes dart down to her lips and couldn't help doing the same to him. She had a second to wonder why he'd ever look at her lips before he suddenly moved towards her, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck and pulling her into him.
His lips collided with hers and she gasped in surprise as he pushed her back against the shelves. She registered a brief jolt of pain as one of her elbows connected with a shelf awkwardly before her whole body focused on the fact that Malfoy's was pressed against hers everywhere.
The kiss that had seemed to have started so harshly softened as his other hand came to rest on her hip and his lips coaxed hers more gently. Hermione found herself kissing him back automatically, too shocked to register what was happening and too overwhelmed by how much his kiss was affecting her.
Her heart had started pounding loudly and her stomach was flipping crazily. She brought one of her hands up to wrap around his neck as she felt the hand that was resting on her neck start to grip her hair and change the angle of her head. She followed his lead, pushing herself more firmly against him, smirking slightly when she heard him groan in response.
Suddenly, the reality of who she was kissing hit her and she froze. Regaining her bearings she shoved him as hard as she could away from her.
He looked dazed and he was panting slightly, as though he'd been running. Hermione looked at him in shock, scrambling to find words.
"What the hell was that?!" She managed.
Malfoy closed his eyes and looked like he was struggling to compose himself. Good. She couldn't seem to calm down either.
He shook his head and cleared his throat.
When he opened his eyes again she saw that familiar look of disdain he always seemed to wear.
"Nothing. This never happened."
"But…" Hermione protested.
"Drop it, Granger." He shot her one last look, she couldn't decide whether it held regret or longing, before he disappeared back around the shelves and towards the exit.
Hermione had never been more confused in her life. She didn't know whether she was more concerned for his actions or her reactions.
She ran a hand through her hair, unsure as to what she was supposed to do now.
She decided to pretend nothing had happened. After all, it would never be happening again and it was clearly a moment of madness on both their parts. The stress of exams was obviously causing brief episodes of stupidity.
She walked back to her desk and gathered her things. She'd forget then.
The only problem was she didn't think that was the type of kiss you just forgot.
The next day she was placing a book back on one of the shelves when she felt a hand tug at her waist and spin her around. She had a moment to register blond hair and grey, pleading eyes, before Draco's lips were back on hers and she realized that this was definitely not something she'd ever be able to just forget.
As she pulled him closer and surrendered herself over to the feelings his kiss brought out in her, she didn't think she even wanted to.
