I was still going through Penelope's book and I found another passage by the same mystery person, it spoke about Malivore and things to do with Landon's mother. None of this made sense who would know all of this I had to figure out who wrote it. I left my room with the book and headed for the cafeteria as everyone would be there having dinner, that's where I found Rafael alone at a table. I approached him book in hand and spoke "Hey Raf can I ask you something"
"Hey Josie ye whats up" he responded I showed him the book and the passage about Malivore "I'm not sure who wrote it, was it you" I asked "No I haven't even seen that before" he responded "Well do you know who could have, maybe someone who knew about all this" "I'm sorry Jo no, from what I gather Landon barely knew about it" he said shaking his head I let out a sigh "Well thank's anyways" I said as I left.
I found Landon later on and asked him about this too but he was just as confused as I was so I headed for my Dad's office hoping he may know something. "Hey Dad" I said as I entered his office and sat down "Hi sweetheart hows things" he asked smiling "Alright I actually had a question" "About what" he asked looking curious "I was wondering if anyone else knew about Landon's Mom before malivore disappeared" he paused for a second thinking "uh I don't believe so why" he answered "I just found something that someone had written about malivore and Landon's Mom like a diary entry but it's from a while ago and can't figure out who wrote it."
"That's odd" he said with some worry in his voice "ye and they wrote about the day the gargoyle attacked the school and the thing is I can't seem to remember that day too well like who helped kill it" I told him."But your'e the one who killed it" he said "ye but I used a spell I had never heard before, one which required a lot of power I must have siphoned something or someone" I said he stopped as though to recall that day but he just seemed confused "I'm sure the spell was one you had forgotten about or something" he spoke scrambling to find an explanation "You're probably right" I said but I didn't believe it something just doesn't feel right like I was forgetting something.
I thanked my dad and got up to leave but as I was about to exit the room I turned around and spoke "Dad I was just wondering who's blood turned me" he looked up with the same confused look from earlier "I um.. I'm not sure, I think it was just from the stash that I keep for emergencies" he said looking unconvinced at his own words. I knew he didn't have any answers so I left.
I woke up the next day on Saturday feeling the same way I have since the day Triad attacked like I had something to do or somewhere to be but I wasn't sure what or where I just knew that it was like someone needed me and I felt this pull in different directions not sure which way I was supposed to go. I tried ignoring it hoping it was maybe just some twin thing now that I haven't been spending as much time with Lizzie anymore since I moved out of our room, but I felt it even when I was with her and every day I wake up and it gets stronger like it was more urgent and it got harder to pretend I wasn't feeling it. I tried distracting myself with 'vamp training' as I call it and school work but it was always there in the back of my mind like an echo calling out to me. I shook my head trying to get rid of these thoughts and got ready for the day I had a few hours before 'vamp training' with my Mom so I headed down to breakfast.
I sat with Lizzie and MG but I wasn't paying attention to their conversation as I was too busy thinking about the whole mystery writer thing, I knew something wasn't right there was so much lately that didn't add up like malivore disappearing out of nowhere and no one knows how, like vampire blood healing me from a malivore bullet and not being affected by the second bullet that was fired at me that day, and how lately my memory has felt foggy about most things from the past few months, and the feeling like I have something to do, none of this made any sense. I was pulled out of my thoughts by Lizzie "Josie, hey Jo" she said tapping my side "what sorry" I said startled "you just completely zoned out is everything okay" she asked looking concerned "Yeah sorry just thinking, what were you saying" Lizzie continued to talk but I just kept slipping back into my thoughts.
That night I had a dream I saw flashes of different things first I see a door and I hear myself say a fire spell and then the dream changes and I'm running down the corridor crying I could smell smoke and ran into my room while Lizzie was still asleep, but then the dream changes again and suddenly I'm in my Dad's office with Lizzie and shes crying and screaming and things are flying everywhere, and then the only thing I see is a letter it's in my hand writing but I don't know what it says or who it's for I can only make out the simplest most insignificant details, and then I wake up and I realized that this wasn't a dream that it happened. This was the day Lizzie had her first episode but I don't remember the letter though it did seem familiar.
I thought back to that day i remember Lizzie having an episode because we had to cancel the spring break trip, which we had to do because of the fire, the fire that I started I remember saying the spell but why, surely I didn't intend on burning down the place it had to have been an accident but what was I trying to burn then my mind became foggy again as I tried to remember the details but all I can remember is the feeling of guilt and fear when out of nowhere it occurs to me I was trying to burn the letter but why?.
Confused as to why my memory was acting up I quietly pulled out Penelope's book not wanting to wake Lizzie up as it was only 4am I scanned over the same pages that I've read a hundred times I thought back to the day of the gargoyle attack I was picking up trash.. and then what.. I kept pushing my mind trying to think straight I suddenly remembered saying a spell and holding hands with someone but I didn't know who all I could see were my hands glowing red and then I feel twin pain, but that's it. I push my mind further but the memory is just hazy I sigh and drag my hands down my face and start fiddling with my necklace.
I stop for a second and look at it suddenly I hear a voice in my head 'make quiet things heard' I recognize the voice but I can't place it I begin to get frustrated trying to remember who actually gave me the talisman I know it was a birthday gift but from who, my mind goes foggy again. I have so many questions: Who wrote these things? Who gave me the talisman? Who's blood cured and turned me? and Who did I write that letter to? then it occurs to me all of my questions are to do with who, maybe it's all the same person, maybe I'm forgetting someone, but how? I can't be compelled, and a spell to make me forget someone doesn't seem likely and then it comes to me Malivore.
I waste no time and wake up my Dad telling him everything about the fire and the talisman and pointing out the who turned me thing again he stops me to speak "Okay Josie what are you trying to say" he asks "I think that someone that we knew was put into malivore" I say eyes widened "What?" he asks surprised "I mean think about it Dad all these inconsistencies, my hazy memory and I just can't shake this feeling like somebody needs me" I add. He has this look on his face like this is crazy but after a second it changes like he knows this actually makes sense like somethings clicking with him "I believe you" he says exhaling.
After last night my Dad starts to look into how we can figure out if we've forgotten someone and how to remember them if we have, he gave Lizzie and I a spell to look into my memory and try and find the person we're missing. We sit on the floor across from one an other hands joined as we say the spell once Lizzie is in my mind she has to guide me through my memory, she tells me I have to concentrate on one thing at a time and focus on the feelings I associate with the memory to figure out my connection to that person as that's what should help me find them.
I listen to her words and begin reliving the day of the fire as that's where my mind takes me. "describe what you see" I hear Lizzie say in a calm voice "I'm in our room at the desk writing, it's the note" I say "Okay now focus on the words you're writing what do they say" she tells me. I focus on them but there blurry I can't make out what it says "I.. I can't see" "Just focus and tell me what it says" she says with a soothing tone. I try but it's like my body is rejecting the memory, like it doesn't want e to remember "It's not working I can't see it, I just can't" I say in an upset voice "Okay, it's okay can you tell me what you feel?" she asks trying to calm me down I think for a second trying to feel my emotions while writing "nervous, affection" I say surprised at my answer.
"That's good, but I need you to find a different memory one that will tell us who we're looking for" Lizzie says. I do as she says and focus on a different memory I think of the day the gargoyle attacked and I tell Lizzie what I see, this time it feels a little easier. "I'm laughing, and talking" I tell her "Who are you talking to" I concentrate on the memory again and suddenly I fall over on the grass 'you poked yourself' I say giggling and then I hear it the same voice that I remembered last night 'shut up' it says and I tell Lizzie that. "Can you describe the voice Josie" my sister asks "It's a girl I think."
"Good now can you see that person" she asks I keep concentrating and I push my mind trying to see the person but all I see is a pair of black healed boots which I tell Lizzie. "You're doing great Jo, now can you keep focusing on the person try and work your way up from her shoes what does she look like" Lizzie requests I try but again my mind is resisting, and my head starts to hurt "ahh" I let out as I feel the pain in my head "I'ts not, It's not working I can't see her" I say feeling a tear fall from my face.
"That's okay, we'll just have to find a different memory, like your talisman, can you focus on that and find the person who gave it to you" Lizzie continues to guide me. My memory changes and I start to describe my whereabouts to my twin "I'm standing next to my bed, and there's an envelope, it's red and there's a note along with my gift" I tell her "What does the note say" Lizzie asks maintaining her calm voice I put all my will power into focusing on the message however it's still blurry, but I'm not giving up I just push myself and my mind further suddenly I'm able to make out a word "Birthday, something with birthday but I can't see what else" I tell her.
"Good but you need to keep reading" I think about the note again but all I can see is that one word and my head starts to hurt again "I can't" I say "Just focus Josie you're so close" Lizzie says raising her voice a little I try but it's no use and the pain is getting worse "I can't it hurts" I cry out "Just read the note!" Lizzie yells as I continue to cry I keep my mind on the note and just keep pushing myself fighting through the pain and it starts to become clearer suddenly I see the words take shape "Hope your birthday wishes come true" I say feeling a little relief wash over me "Good now who is it from" Lizzie asks "I.. I don't kn-" I stop mid sentence as I see the letter that I wrote on the day of the fire and on the front says Hope and then I see the birthday note again and at the end it's signed Hope "Hope" I say and then begin repeating it "Hope, it's Hope" I say I pull my hands away from my sister and open my eyes. My mind begins to overflow with different memories, and suddenly I remember, I see her and I know who I have been searching for. It's Hope.
All I see is darkness, it's the same thing I've seen since I jumped into malivore, but then suddenly it's gone and and out of nowhere I'm in an empty pit but not just any pit, the pit that once held Malivore. I look around shocked and confused but I feel something, I feel a pull that leads me outside of this abandoned building. My body itches my wolf is calling to me it wants to run, it needs to and I have to get home so I give my body what it want's and I shift. Letting my wolf lead me to where I need to be.