It's a Hodgepodge
It was the Golden Trio’s last year at Hogwarts and it was decided that despite worrying about the NEWTs, which honestly only Hermione did, it was agreed everyone should go out with a bang. Ever since the awesome final battle at the Department of Mysteries resulting in the capture of the Death Eater inner circle and death of ol’ Voldie the wizarding world has been at peace and so life went on full of celebrations because you only live once – and that’s the truth. So here we find our young war heroes playing games in the Room of Requirement which is neutral ground for all of the houses of Hogwarts to meet on.
Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were locked in an epic battle of wizard’s chess with Ron of course mercilessly whipping Harry’s black pieces.
Neville Longbottom, Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott, Ernie MacMillon, and Justin Finch-Fletchley were playing their fifth round of Exploding Snap. Neville had a long losing streak compared to Hannah’s triumphant title of Queen of Exploding Snap.
Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, Padma Patil, Romilda Vane, and Cho Chang were talking about girly things such as glamours, make-up charms, and beauty potions versus their muggle counterparts. It was surprising intellectual, but with two Ravenclaws involved how can it not be?
Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas, and Ginny Weasley had nicked a snitch from the quidditch sheds and were chasing it around the room, mindful of the other occupants.
Terry Boot, Lisa Turpin, Mandy Brocklehurst, Roger Davies, Marietta Edgecomb, and Michael Corner were all huddle together in a group of desks completely their essays and homework.
Luna Lovegood and Morag MacDougal were reading the quibbler upside down while their friend Zacharias Smith was checking Anthony Goldstein over with a pair of Spectrespecs.
The Slytherins were accepted long ago in their sixth year and were thus forgiven but largely kept to themselves for the most part; safety in numbers and all that good stuff. So they were socializing together playing spin the bottle in their corner who included Draco Malfoy with his lackeys Gregory Goyle and Vincent Crabbe along with Blaise Zabini, Millicent Bulstrode, Pansy Parkinson, and Daphne Greengrass. Daphne’s little sister Astoria Greengrass tagged along as well with her friend Theodore Nott.
The Creevey brothers had taken it upon themselves to create Hogwarts’ first ever yearbook so they snapped pictures as discreetly as possible so as not to get thrown out – again.
Hermione for her part was snuggled by the fire, lounging on a couple of plush pillows with her nose buried in a book that was no doubt filled with knowledge that was bound to be on the NEWTs.
This would have continued until curfew, not particularly quiet or peaceful but normal and undisturbed had they not been visited by the twin Weasley brothers. It was discovered some time ago that a portrait above the fire in the Room of Requirement led to Aberforth Dumbledore’s shady pub establishment the Hog’s Head Inn. The Weasley twins used this to their advantage of making at least a weekly trip to Hogsmeade to venture to their greatest population of customers and fans – and it was nice to visit their little brother and sister, too, whilst making a profit. They choose now to make an entrance seeing as the Hogsmeade weekend was cancelled due to encouragement to study for the upcoming NEWTs which no one except probably Hermione and a couple of Ravenclaws took advantage of. So now our story begins.
“Pop goes the weasels!” shouted the cheery and familiar shout from the portrait as it swung open. Sure enough, out popped a red-headed sly looking Weasley. George Weasley jumped out and the Room popped a stool in front of him. George climbed on top and held his hands in the air. “Gather ‘round, gather ‘round everybody. Come, come, one and all. Ladies and gents, people young and old, Gryffindor and Slytherin, scar-headed and freckled-face!” While George summoned the masses, Fred struggled to carry in a single box that was quite heavy for it was filled with shrunken boxes of Weasley products and Honeyduke’s sweets.
Fred unloaded the merchandise to sell while George worked his magic over the customers. “Alright, alright everyone! We have the usual items to sell you know – Peruvian darkness, love potions, dungbombs, the classic gags. We also have Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans, Licorice Wands, Droobles, Chocolate Frogs, Sugar Mice, Jelly snakes, Toffee, Lemon Drops, muggle candy, Butterbeer, and as a special treat from the kindness of our hearts some pre-celebration Firewhiskey – 10 galleons of course. All that aside we have a very special product – very new and not even yet sold in our store yet – that needs testing and I figured will do what those muggles do and use the scientific method. Now, do we have any volunteers?”
Despite the risk of being the victim of a Weasley product everyone raised their hands, even Hermione who had loosened up a little. She had decided right after recovering from Dolohov’s curse after the final battle that she should enjoy life instead of being such a nagging, boring sourpuss. She still studied like mad though, but she ceased to bother others about their own work, realizing that mollycoddling and doing it for them would only hinder and not help.
Fred and George exchanged mischievous grins and George clapped his hands together. “Okay then! If you will please buy all that your heart desires before you are subjected to our little experiment please.” Like proper salesmen they were those Weasley twins. Everyone emptied out their pockets for sweets and joke items. Once the money was collected and the box of goods completely emptied, Fred pulled out two potion vials – one crystal blue with a sort of clear looking liquid the other dark lime green. They were big compared to most potion bottles, about two liters each. They were told to gather in groups of their Houses but with segregation between the boys and girls. Once all that was settled, Fred and George began to explain.
Fred started it off with, “Okay how many of you have played Truth or Dare before?” All of the muggleborns, half-bloods, and surprisingly a few purebloods raised their hands in response to the census. “Great! So for those of you blokes who don’t know, someone calls on you to pick one, Truth or Dare, if truth you must honestly answer a question they ask and if you are dared you must complete the task required. The tricky business about this game is you never know if the person if being honest or not, and what can you do to punish them if they don’t carry out their dare? Now the game will end once everyone does one truth and one dare each that way we have a good sample space. We will start with a boy from each house to start it off, and then go boy-girl-boy-girl. Got it?” Everyone nodded and there were no questions, complaints, or cowards among them. If anything, the air was rich with anticipation and excitement.
Fred continued, “If you are dared then you take one shot of the green bottle before you do your task. Please, no one ask for murder or anything like that. Let’s keep it fun and just break a couple of school rules while we are at it. If asked the truth, take three drops of the blue bottle. Simple enough, right? Right-o, Lego!” Fred and George grabbed a seat and got comfortable with their Firewhiskey and candy before watching the show.
The first round of contestants was Colin Creevey, Theodore Nott, Anthony Goldstein, and Zacharias Smith. Fred or George – no one could tell because they lost track – called out, “Okie dokey artichokey let’s just start off with something easy for truths and dares. Just the mild mannered stuff for you kiddies. Colin! Start it up.”
Colin, never one to waste an opportunity to mess with a Slytherin, picked Theodore for a dare. “Dare you to kiss the girl you like, Theo.” He jeered after Theo took a swig of the green bottle. Theo grimaced at the taste – the liquid wasn’t actually green but piss yellow and smelled vile like goblin piss. Once Theo heard the dare, however, he twisted his face in distaste. Theo did not hesitate however to stalk over to Morag MacDougal and plant a small kiss on her lips. Dare fulfilled, he went back to the inner circle. Morag was blushing lightly as the crowd of spectators cat-called Theo.
Theo didn’t even bother to get revenge on Colin; he had been dying to kiss Morag. So he moved on and dared Anthony to do something he had never dared to do before. Anthony took the potion and hexed Draco Malfoy’s favored blond hair bright pink. Draco took this good naturedly and Anthony dared Zacharias to do the chicken dance. And on it went. Zacharias dared Colin to piss his pants (and he did, surprisingly, even though he didn’t have to go. He scourgified his pants before continuing any further as the smell was eye-watering), Colin asked Theo if he like Morag (obviously), Theo asked Anthony if he was gay (no), Anthony asked Zacharias if he was a virgin (no), Zacharias asked Colin if had ate asparagus (unfortunately yes). Next came four girls.
George shouted, “Alright you cats play nice now. No claws.” Romilda Vane, Morag MacDougal, Astoria Greengrass, and Susan Bones simply glared at them. All of their dares revolved around hexing the Weasley twins and asking embarrassing questions about their crushes – simple girl stuff they felt comfortable with. Lucky for Theo, Morag was definitely interested in that. That was the first couple form from Weasley Truth or Dare.
On the next round of boys, Fred said, “Kick it up a notch, guys. Those were some nasty hexes.” Dennis Creevey, Blaise Zabini, Ernie Macmillan, and Roger Davies took it to heart. There were duels about girls – typical boy stuff – and questions about sex lives – surprising to learn that Dennis was the only boy in the group who was not a virgin.
With the second round of girls (Parvati and Padma Patil, Daphne Greengrass, and Hannah Abbott) it was discovered that Dennis managed to lose his virginity to a Slytherin, but it was unknown which Slytherin. They dared each other to remove vital article of clothing and give it to someone of an opposing house to wear. So more than one boy was wearing a bra over their school vest or a pair of lacy, ridiculous knickers on their heads and it was worn proudly as their dare on the next round.
The boys wearing girl undergarments – Seamus Finnigan, Michael Corner, Justin Finch-Fletchly, and Gregory Goyle – only had to do a truth on their turn. It was embarrassingly stupid as the questions involved methods of masturbation. However, it was agreed no one could discuss any truths about anyone learned without permission. What happens in the Room of Requirement stays in the Room of Requirement was the rule. Marietta Edgecombe looked slightly guilty at that commandment and everyone swore a wand oath.
On the third round of girls but sixth round of the games Fred and George were getting slightly restless from the average boarding school drama and decided to mix things up a bit. Fred and George commanded, “Okay we need to test and see if long-term dares are immune to the potion. So pick something that takes a week.” Lavender Brown, Cho Chang, Millicent Bulstrode, and another Marietta Edgecombe were up to bat. There were no more Hufflepuff girls left so Marietta volunteered to redeem herself. The “SNEAK” that was written across her face in fifth year had faded to where it was only seen in indirect light. She bore her shame proudly though. The girls decided to charm each other’s appearance to be altered. Lavender had purple hair with brown spots like a Dalmatian. Cho Chang had vampire fangs that gave her a lisp when she spoke and her skin sparkled in sunlight like a glittering, fairy princess. Marietta had her skin dyed highlighter yellow so she glowed in the dark, lighting up the “SNEAK” for everyone to see. Millicent was given an under bite that added to her appearance of a dopey, brutish pit-bull. With all their new looks the girls looked outlandish and bordering on ugly. They couldn’t care less though; everyone was having fun. The round of truths was asked and it was about their menstrual cycles. All the guys had a newfound respect for chicks and were slightly green when they finished.
Terry Boot, Dean Thomas, Vincent Crabbe, and Ron Weasley decided to be remembered for something extreme. Ron asked his brothers, “Why don’t we take these potions and go through the school. Do some great pranks with your products, yeah?” Fred and George smiled and grabbed a potion bottle each.
Everyone left the Room and Requirement and eagerly followed the show. Terry Boot had to steal a lemon drop from the Headmaster’s office – an unsurprisingly easy feat considering he simply walked in and asked for one. Dean Thomas had to steal Professor Sprout’s prized catnip. A couple of wards were broken for that dare but it was exhilarating. George had jinxed Dean to hear the Mission Impossible theme to encourage him on that challenge. Crabbe had to speak in rhymes for the rest of the week, but he didn’t care. He hardly ever speaks anyway. Ron, however, was dared to sneak into Professor McGonagall’s office to leave Professor Sprout’s catnip everywhere. Everyone had a good laugh because they knew it would drive Professor McGonagall’s cat animagus form crazy. They asked truths about each other’s most favorite sex position. Crabbe was given weird looks for the rest of the day when he said, “Limbs twisted everywhere - like a pretzel beware!” Crabbe is a big guy so there was some speculation about yoga; the fact that he had to rhyme it made it worse and somewhat creepy.
Lisa Turpin, Mandy Brocklehurst, Pansy Parkinson, and Ginny Weasley decided to make it a contest. The House to lose the least amount of points for their dares is known as the Truth or Dare Champions. It was Pansy’s idea and highly regarded by everyone, even the grudging Hufflepuffs who had the least amount of members involved in the game. Ginny even added, “George! Fred! At the end of the game and before you guys leave the castle you have to have to test your own potion on yourself.” They were reluctant to agree until they saw the adoring shine on the student’s eyes fade slightly at them backing down. The Weasley Twins biggest weakness was their cocky bravado and giving in too easily to peer-pressure.
Lisa had to steal Filch’s cat Mrs. Norris and shave her down. She managed to accomplish it but she earned herself a couple scratches and a detention with Filch as well. She didn’t care though because she was glad she had the opportunity to do what everyone else has always wanted to do throughout their Hogwarts career. Mandy snuck into the restricted section of the library and stole the book Moste Potente Potions. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were misty-eyed at the memories, snickering quietly to themselves as the reminisced about polyjuice potion. The librarian Madame Pince caught Mandy however, before she could leave the library so her dare was counted as a negative. She also received a detention with Filch to her disgust. Lisa gave her a high-five anyway. Pansy – to her disappointment – was the first to lose House points. She was trying to sneak into the kitchens to ask the house elves to serve candy and dessert for dinner that night, but Filch sensing that mischief was afoot today not only assigned her a detention with himself but took five points from Slytherin. Ginny was the only one who managed to not get house points lost or a detention. She successfully set off a Weasley firework in the dungeons and escaped the wrath of Filch, Slytherin prefects, and even Professor Snape himself. Their truths were mild in comparison, mostly having asked what their kinkiest daydream was. Shy Lisa had the dirtiest one and it just proved you can’t judge someone by their House.
Harry, Draco, Neville, and Hermione – the very last group – agreed that after having seen Snape turn purple with rage that he would be the ultimate prank. So since they knew that they had a suicidal mission to fulfill they started off with truths. Draco jumped on the opportunity to get some embarrassing dirt on Harry. He still had his bubblegum pink hair. “Harry – have you dreamed of having sex with someone other than your girlfriend, Ginny?” Harry blushed and added almost ashamedly, “Cho Chang in my fifth year of course. And Hermione, last year.” He looked at Hermione and Ginny apologetically. Ginny and Hermione shared smiles but waved it off having known before.
Harry asked Neville, “You ever wanted a threesome?”
Neville bashfully replied, “No, but I’ve wanted Ginny, Luna, Hermione, Susan, and Hannah all at once.”
Everybody stared. Some boys looked mildly impressed. The girls he suggested tittered lightly. “Neville,” Hermione giggled girlishly, “that is a sixsome. Or hexsome. Whatever.” Neville just shrugged helplessly and stuttered something about hormones.
“Hermione, who would you want to sleep with?” he asked quickly and without thinking just so he could get the pressure off himself.
That’s when Hermione stopped giggling. She pressed her lips together and cast a silencing charm on herself. She was blue in the face. The truth potion was a very mild form of veritaserum and tasted bland and bitter. It was impossible to not answer the single question you are asked. However, unlike veritaserum you wouldn’t end up in the Janus Thickey ward of St. Mungo’s or die, either.
Things just got serious. The students were eagerly awaiting the results whether it is the truth or her having to go to the Hospital Wing. Really they just hoped that she would spill the beans. Fred comforted Hermione, “Please Hermione, it is no secret you would like to sleep with me.”
“I think you mean me, Forge.”
“Yeah right, Gred.”
“Shut it! I’d like to sleep with Professor Snape okay!”
George and Fred looked at her aghast. A couple of students laughed like it was a joke but after being subjected to the truth potions themselves they knew it was impossible to lie or remain silent for long so they quieted, dumbfounded. The Slytherins were the ones who looked mildly surprised but almost happily shocked. Hermione’s friends looked angered, but soon calmed down. Hermione was level-headed enough to not do something completely crazy without a good reason or to feel a certain way without first closely analyzing why. However, that didn’t stop Harry and Neville from running to the loo to be sick. What forced everyone to snap out of it was Ginny’s joyous cry of, “Oh Hermione I’m so happy for you!”
“Why?!?” was the unanimous question to put it mildly.
“Because now we know what to dare you.” Ginny cheekily replied with a smirk.
Hermione just silently fumed and asked Draco a question, “Draco, why did you look happy with that?”
Draco blanched significantly more than usual. “Um… I am not supposed to tell this to anyone; Godfather made me swear. But, he likes you. I mean – aren’t you like two years older than us Granger?”
“Yes.” She replied shortly.
“Well there you go.” He was still pale. The girl Slytherins were snickering about how he was going to die by the time Professor Snape was finished with him. His cronies eyed him with pity.
Hermione kept her face stoic. It was eerily similar to Snape’s stony demeanor. Suddenly she spoke, “If any of you speak a word about this, I will cut you.” She gave the students a glare that would rival Medusa’s. She eyed the Weasley twins coldly. “You! You better pray to Merlin that he doesn’t find out.”
Despite Hermione’s warning, Draco exchanged a smirk with Pansy, Daphne, and Astoria. The three Slytherin girls were the queens of romance – they shipped, they caused drama, they were the cause of men losing their virginity. They smelled love like dogs smell fear and they thrived on its success.
Once Harry and Neville returned from the loo, guts emptied and mouths clean they were ready for the dares. Now there was a new tension in the air. It was agreed before the truths that Snape would be the object of their dares. Now it was serious.
Unfortunately for Neville and Harry they missed Hermione’s death threats. Harry dared Draco to steal boomslang skin, lacewing flies, and the horn of a bicorn from Professor Snape’s stores. He couldn’t look at Hermione without feeling the bile to rise in his throat. It wasn’t only that he couldn’t stand the thought of her doing the dirty with Snape. It was the fact that he disliked Snape so passionately.
Draco accepted the challenge proudly and the crowd of 36 students and two Weasley twins stormed the dungeons to the potions classroom. They waited down at the end of the hall as silently as possible with a bunch of Weasley’s Extendable-Ears – all of them they had to buy from the Weasley twins to use. Those boys were making a profit with this experiment. Draco single-handed broke into the storeroom and stole the ingredients for polyjuice potion. He returned with a cocky smile, a swagger, and the items of his quest victoriously proud. No one could blame him. Harry set him up for something anyone else (except Hermione of course) could never accomplish without certain death, detention, and loss of house points.
The Weasley twins took the ingredients off his hands and they were never seen again except in potion form. Draco dared Neville to find the man Snape himself and cuss him out passionately. “Tell him exactly how you feel about him. Leave nothing out – the potion will not allow you.” Draco arrogantly drawled.
Neville lifted his chin, squared his shoulders, took a deep breath, and set out on an epic search for the dreaded Potions Master, a trail of students eagerly nipping at his heels, following in his wake. The Head of Slytherin was in the Great Hall, eating dinner with everyone else. He lifted his head barely when the crowd of students swarmed in looking like a pack of rapid dogs on the hunt. Little did he know that he was the prey they so ardently chased down. The students made a point to sit at the table regardless of what House it was, they just wanted a sit close to the where the teachers are so they could hear every word of Neville’s speech.
Poor Neville did not realize that the dare had to be done within a week. He could have waited for Potions class, or when Snape had called him out for something, when Snape was in his office, or when Snape was stalking the halls – he could have chose any moment but the most public one to make his move. However, Neville now had a valid excuse to yell his frustrations at the man who took the form of his boggart.
He bravely marched up to the Head table, facing his doom like a true Gryffindor. “P-p-professor Sn-Snape?” he stammered. The other teachers looked on with interest.
Professor Snape for his part managed to not blast Longbottom back to his seat. Instead he raised his eyes to Neville’s and sighed, “Yes, Longbottom? I am eating.” He took a bite of chicken to make his point.
“S-s-s-sir…” he stuttered again. The Hall had quieted significantly by now. Who dare disturb Snape?
Snape sneered at the boy, “What! What is it?” Professor McGonagall didn’t even bat an eye. The catnip had done its work and she was pleasantly dazed. Professor Trelawney was deep in her cooking sherry, Professor Flitwick was trying to calm down Professor Sprout who was looking murderous – first McGonagall chooses to get high on her special catnip and now Snape insults her most prized pupil.
Professor Dumbledore twinkled merrily at Snape and murmured amusedly, “Now, now Severus. Calm down. Let the boy speak. I am sure whatever Mr. Longbottom has to say it will be most interesting.” He sparkled his eyes at Neville and Neville felt courage build up inside him.
He took the plunge. “Snape you are an infuriating teacher who can’t teach worth a shit. You are a greasy git, a big, bad, black bat of the dungeons, a cruel professor, a sneering, snarky, smirking, son of a bitch man, a former death-eater who turned coat because you realized you made the absolutely biggest mistake of your life, and an order member who is by far the bravest man I have ever known. You are mean to me, you insult me, and you don’t appreciate anything that I do. You always are bossing me around or punishing me for my mistakes caused by YOU. I don’t understand how in Hades Hermione would want to fuck you – you are an ugly, miserable bastard and a merciless sadist. You never have anything good to say you just sit there and sulk and snap at people. I respect you though so I just hope that you appreciate the fact that Hermione likes you and if you hurt her I will not hesitate to pull my wand on you, hex your balls off, and then pickle them to be in a jar in your office.” Neville didn’t stammer or stutter in that speech. He stood his ground and maintained eye contact. To his surprise though the students started clapping and he was applauded for a good five minutes before Snape quietly started to speak.
“Mr. Longbottom,” he snarled icy cold and soft in his velvety voice. It was like the Great Hall held its breath. The other teachers were tense, waiting to spring into action to save the foolish boy from the end of Snape’s wand. Dumbledore clasped his hand together, lacing his fingers under his bearded chin, looking mildly concerned although he made no move to reprimand Neville or consol Severus. The Weasley twins however were staring at Hermione who looked positively furious. They didn’t know who was going to blow up first – her or Snape. Snape continued to drawl silkily, “I am glad to see you grow a spinal column.” He left it at that.
Neville smiled at Snape and started to stumble back to his seat clumsily, but turned back at Snape’s growl of, “However, Longbottom, if you ever publically rant at me again I will use your spine as a back scratcher and cut your heart out with a spoon.” Neville merely nodded and continued.
He wondered though if he was supposed to hear Snape mutter under his breath, “And if Miss Granger would give me a chance then I would uphold to your standards.” Hearing Snape admit – even though it wasn’t to his face – that he liked Hermione caused him to pass out. However, people contributed his fainting to confronting Professor Snape. They hadn’t heard anything that the professor said except for those in the Truth or Dare group and the other teachers. They merely assumed he eviscerated him and Neville took exactly five steps before his heart exploded in his chest and he died. Or at least that was the rumor.
Professor Snape ignored Neville and turned his penetrating gaze to the Great Hall. “What are you all staring at? Don’t you have a meal to be eating?” He swept out of the Hall before they could see him blush. He didn’t think he was that loud.
While the other students who participated in truth or dare revived Neville and checked him over, Snape made his escape to the dungeons to lock himself inside. Neville upon awaking immediately dared Harry to draw his wand upon Snape and hex his balls off. He promptly fainted again after Hermione blasted him off his arse.
Harry assumed that Neville wanted revenge for making a fool of himself in front of everyone and gladly went to avenge his friend. He already didn’t like Snape, and Hermione’s news was the icing on the cake. Neville merely gave him a reason – the cherry on top. Hermione quickly followed, with only the Weasley twins and Creevey brothers trailing after looking naughty. The wand oath only applied to the spoken gossip. Colin and Dennis did not hesitate to take as many pictures as possible. This section of the yearbook was then known as the Graduation Truth or Dare challenge for many years to come even when the next generation of children came to do what their parents did. It continued on forever.
The door to Snape’s office slammed open with a bang almost as dramatic as Professor Snape himself. However, Professor Snape was sitting demurely at his desk, pouring a tumbler of Firewhiskey to drown himself in his sorrows. Harry made a Gryffindor entrance and pointed his wand at Snape who merely scowled and hissed, “Potter!”
Harry took this as his cue to start a monologue. He had Snape on a silver platter basically – and he wouldn’t shut up! Talking about how feeble Snape was compared to him, how inevitable his defeat is, and how revenge will soon be his! On and on this yammering continued until Hermione swiftly disarmed Harry.
Harry sputtered, “Hermione! I bloody dare you to kiss Snape in front of me!” Before Hermione had entered, unfortunately, the Weasley twins gave her a swig of “liquid courage” for the dare potion derived from Firewhiskey. Hermione smirked in a Snape-like fashion at him before she knocked him unconscious with her fist. If Malfoy had been there, he would have touched his nose and winced at the memory of her right hook in their third year.
Snape had, all during Harry’s monologue, sipped at his drink slowly, savoring the taste and burn of the alcohol. He didn’t want to get piss-drunk, but it would be nice not to remember this moment where he was once again at the end of Potter’s wand. When his Hermione (for that is how he referred to her in his head as) busted in to save him, he started to choke on the drink. Hermione rushed over behind him and patted him on the back until he could breathe again.
By the time he could recover, the Weasley twins had set up an Extendable Ear and the Creevey brothers positioned their cameras. It’s show time!
“Professor,” began Hermione cautiously albeit breathlessly. Her adrenalin was working overtime today, and she felt more exhilarating than ever before except possibly when dueling for her life in the Department of Mysteries. “Professor, are you alright? I know Harry didn’t hurt you, but still…”
“I am fine, Miss Granger, perfectly okay.” snarked Professor Snape. His love, his Hermione, his love had her hand stroking down his spine. Of course he was not okay – he was going to mess his pants like a hormonal fourth year! He couldn’t bring himself to pull away from her comforting, if somewhat arousing, touch at the moment. When would he ever feel his love’s hands touch pat him so gently again?
Very soon, dear reader, very soon. And quite often, too.
“Oh. Well that is good.” She huffed and puffed. She was out of shape and tired. She had never played quidditch regularly and since the war was over she felt she deserved to rest and relax. She felt the urge to kiss him but she had a week to do it so she decided to put it off until she was sure she could catch him off guard. Without thinking, she rested her rear against his desk, facing him in his chair, and grabbed his tumbler. Severus watched in fascination as his love took a hearty gulp of Firewhiskey and didn’t promptly retch. She sighed and smacked her cherry lips together, setting it down again. Hermione could handle her liquor better than most Gryffindor men could as she discovered at the Grimmauld Place when she had a drinking contest again Remus, Sirius, and Tonks. Tonks won, though – a Hufflepuff besting Gryffindors in a drinking game.
When the tumbler was safely settled on the desk, Severus rose to his feet and placed his hands on either side of her hips, gripping the desk so tight that his knuckles whitened and his fingers hurt from splinters of wood under his fingernails. Hermione looked up at him in surprise with undertones of fear and apprehension and hope and love.
Severus simply stared into her amber eyes with his onyx ones, looking not through her memories but through her emotions for the ones that would encourage him to do something so Gryffindor-ishly brave. He saw the fear and it disheartened him until he saw the hope mixed with a hint of love. When he saw what he was looking for he merely smiled softly, a slight upturn of his lips really but he made up for it with his eyes. They sparkled happily. He leaned over, bringing up one had to stroke her face gently, before he brushed his lips faintly against hers.
Hermione froze, unbelieving, on contact. She sighed, her eyes closed in bliss before Severus pulled away quickly, stuttering apologies in a way eerily similar to Neville. Hermione grabbed his shoulders quickly and pulled him back to kiss him fully muttering quietly, “Silly man!”
“What Hermione?” he asked flustered.
“Just shut up and kiss me.” She kissed him first without giving him a chance to do anything else.
Now was it his turn to freeze in disbelief. He recovered quickly though, moving his lips against her own passionately and snapping his arms tight around her waist. They continued their loving embrace for some time, oblivious to the furious clicking of the camera shutters or the snickering from the Weasley twins who could hear the steamy, wet smacking sound coming from their mouths through the Extendable Ears. The Weasley twins agreed that this made Hermione – and therefore Gryffindor house – the Truth or Dare Champion.
Since the new couple was so fully wrapped up in each other, they missed the Weasley twins most epic stunt ever pulled even when they were student of Hogwarts during Umbridge’s rein. They had left, dragging the Creevey brothers with them, to do what they had been challenged to. They took the truth potion first and the Creevey brothers had the delight of asking them if they were jealous of Snape – they were. When they took the dare potion the Creevey brothers also had the splendid opportunity to ask them to strip to their bare arse and streak through the main hall – still full of students. The Weasley twins hesitated before the potion took effect and they divested themselves of all their clothes and slammed the Great Hall’s doors open. They then ran faster than they have ever before and leaped over the teacher’s table to disappear through the back entrance that the teachers used. Only a few were lucky – if they could be called such as the Weasley men are notoriously ginger-haired and freckly all over – to have seen anything good worth seeing. However, it was said that the sight of two equally naked men who were without a doubt similar in every way is what snapped McGonagall out of her high. They escaped the castle quickly with the cheers of the students’ wolf-whistles following them out. They did not escape the wrath of Molly Weasley though they did manage to put off getting yelled at by her for a week – the longest they ever have in fact. A lot of records were broken and set during that time period it seemed.
At the end of the year the first Hogwarts Yearbook was published by Colin Creevey, Dennis Creevey, and Luna Lovegood who helped them write captions in a lighthearted manner and keep the facts straight in a un-Skeeter and un-Daily Prophet way.
The pictures of the legendary Truth or Dare were the Grand Finale. There were sections where people voted for other people. The clichés like “Most Beautiful Smile” (Draco Malfoy), “Most Likely to Succeed” (Harry Potter of course), “Most Cutest Couple” (Ron Weasley and Lavender Brown), “Practical Jokers” (Susan Bones, Neville Longbottom, Hannah Abbott), and various others won by the seventh years only. Hermione’s and Severus’s first kiss was placed in the section titled “Most Likely to Live Happily Ever After”. The Creevey brothers’ summer was needless to say filled with hexes, jinxes, and unfriendly spells while Hermione’s in comparison was filled with love and kisses and happiness. When the Creevey brothers returned to Hogwarts the next year they faced not only Professor Snape’s wrath but the ire of the new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher – Professor Hermione Jean Granger. That school year and little Dennis’s final year had one of the finest and most interesting albeit hilarious yearbooks in Hogwarts history of yearbooks until the next generations of Weasleys, Potters, Snapes, Malfoys, Blacks, Lupins, Longbottoms and Creeveys made their name as the new Marauders.