Dealing without you

Chapter 2 - I feel that my method of coping is failing

Today is a sunny day. I don't want to be about here because I hate how bright it is. I'm waiting at the riverbank as asked by Rise, When I arrived at her house there was a note on her door that said to meet here, and the sun is reflecting off of the water and into my eyes. If I turn around the metal 'Riverbank' Sign will give the same effect. Either way I am probably going to go blind by the end of today. Do I talk to much about the sun? Is this what people deal with normally? I guess I'm complaining about nothing again. I should warn myself not to do that. Maybe I could get an assistant that does things like that for me. I'll think about it. Before that I need to figure out what Rise wants. I've been waiting a long time. If she doesn't show up in the next 10 minutes I'm going back home. I look at my watch and my mind is filled with 'Him' again. Christmas eve. I was alone at home. I'd made a watch for him that would connect to my own watch so that he could tell how close I was to him. It may seem like that was self-centred but it was not. It worked both ways. I would have been able to see how close he was to me. I wanted to know that he was close... That doesn't matter though. I never got to give him his gift. I don't know who he spent Christmas eve with but I know that it was not me. Like I said. I was alone. It was probably Rise, maybe Yosuke and the others. No one seemed to talk about what they did with him. Only about what we all did as a group.

Enough with the memories! I hate it when my mind does this. The time reads 12:00. Its almost the time in which I would eat lunch. Maybe I should go to Junes? Or maybe the Central shopping district? I'll think about it. I still have to wait another five minutes. Whatever she wanted can not have been that important if she is this late for it. I wonder about her mentality sometimes. I don't think she is crazy, I just think she may be a little stupid. No... Stupid is too harsh a word. What's the right word? I can't think of one that's any less insulting. Never mind.

Just as I am about to give up and go to get food I hear the loud shouting of Rise who stands by the stairs leading down to the river bank, I am on the pier looking into the water. I turn to face her and see her smiling and waving. She is also wearing the same clothes that she wears every time I am forced into going somewhere with her, other than a few occasions. Now that I look closer she is carrying what looks like a poorly made picnic basket. The sudden realisation falls on to me like that one time Kanji fell on me. I'm not sure where I was going with that but I understand why I was shouted out here while ill.

I glare silently at Rise as she opens the basket. I can't see what's inside so I assume that Rise has a bomb and is going to blow up the riverbank. Or not. I'm just kind of bored and my head is killing me. From the basket Rise lifts a small box covered in a cloth. Maybe I was right and it is a bomb? She takes the cloth and reveals a clear box with sandwiches inside. This is worse than a bomb. With a bomb my death would have been quick. With these I am going to die a slow and painful death. I am fully aware of this as it has happened before. Well. Not entirely. I have never been killed before but I have had food made by Rise before. I am already ill so the next stage is being dead. She looks up to me, smiles and says “I've been practising.” She forces a sandwich at me and watches me waiting for me to try it. “I want to know what you think.” She says again as she sets the box down again. I had hoped I would live today. Guess I'll have to finish all that work I have some other time. 'Stop being so dramatic' I tell myself. Maybe she got better.

| The next day |

The last thing I remember after biting into this thing was falling backwards and everything turning black. I'm on a bed in a room I've never been in before. I look at my watch and it is somehow earlier than it was when I last looked. How many days have I been here? My head still hurts. My eyes feel heavy. I go back to sleep.

So yes. That is all Rise wanted. She wanted me to try her 'food' because she had been practising. Now I am here in what I can only assume is a bed at the hospital with food poisoning. I can not leave as to do so would result in me passing out somewhere down the hall and be in this exact same place within a few minutes. I look at Rise who is standing next to me and give a small, yet fake, smile. She looks at me with a sad face and begins to apologise to me repeatedly. “I'm sooo sorry.” She begins. “I really thought I had gotten better.” She adds. Rise then finish with “Chie-chan said it was good and that I should ask what you thought of it.” I think to myself about that. How is it that Chie survived and I only barely got out of it alive? I tell Rise that it's fine and that she should go home. I then lie down and rest.

| The next day |

Sometime yesterday I returned to my home and went to sleep. When I woke up again it was morning. It is about 7 AM and I'm deciding on what to have for breakfast. I look through the cupboards but they contain only tinned cans. I guess I could have soup. It's Saturday today so I can't call anyone till they finish school. I realise that Rise must have skipped school two days in a row. I'll have to talk to her about that. Her grades are bad enough without bad attendance. I also realise that I haven't been in contact with anyone other than Rise and Teddie since Wednesday at the train station. Only Rise came to see me at the hospital. Then again she was the only one that knew I was there and it wasn't anything really serious. I guess it doesn't matter. I'll see if any of them want to go somewhere tomorrow. I give up with looking for breakfast and walk to the window. It's raining heavy. I feel a little better than I did yesterday. I could go out. There isn't much to do though and everyone is at school. I'm bored.

I think back to how things used to be while 'he' was still here. Almost everyday we would all see each other. Maybe now that he is gone I don't have a place there anymore... That's not right. Our friendship isn't supported by just him. I hope it isn't.... I mean. Maybe? I'm over thinking things again. Everything is fine. I'm just bored.

Teddie doesn't do school. I decide to try calling him.

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