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Rin vs Laser Pointers

By Titania777

Romance / Humor

Chapter 1

Round 1

All the exwires were sleeping over at the abandoned boys dorm for an all-night study session. Cram school had started back up again, and even Bon was getting smashed in the face with the fist of schoolwork

"Hey, guys?" Bon suddenly spoke up, gaining the attention of everyone (except for Rin, who was nowhere to be found. Knowing him, he was probably reading a dramatic yaoi manga)

Bon suddenly began giggling like a schoolgirl, rousing a bit of concern.

"Bon, are you feeling alright?" Shima raised an eyebrow.

"S-Sorry... but you guys will never believe what I found out..." Bon chuckled, little tears born of mirth tickling the corner of his eyes.

He withdrew a laser pointer from his pocket and Yukio visibly paled.

"Suguro, don't do i-" He began, but he was cut off.

"RIN!" Ryuji screamed, shining the laser pointer on the wall.

As loud thudding got closer and closer to the room, Bon's shit-eating grin only grew bigger and bigger (like a balloon or something stupid like that. The door to the room slammed open. Rin stood there and upon seeing the red dot, fucking VAULTED over the table and ran into the wall with a loud CRASH!

"pffft-HAHHHAHHHAHAHHHAHAHAH" Bon cackled (not laughed; cackled.) with uncontrollable rambunctious laughter.

"Owwww... fuccckkk... Fucking ASSHOLE!" Rin groaned from his spot on the floor, bits of wall plaster laying around.

Everyone else couldn't help it anymore.

The room exploded into loud laughter (To Rin's dismay) and them the exwires finally understood why Bon had been laughing.

Round 2

Rin laid on the cool tile of the kitcheb, bored out of his mind. No, seriously, Rin was totally out of it. He'd spaced out, and now he looked like he was on cloud fuckin' nine. But, noticing Rin's spaced-out-itivity (if that was even a proper word),  Yukio got an idea. Suguro had done it and hadn't been too severely maimed, so why shouldn't he? 

Digging around in his coat pockets, Yukio magically pulled a laser pointer out of nowhere. He must've just randomly stuffed it in his ass or something because his pockets were to small to hold the laser pointer, so that was the only logical explanation here. Turning on the laser pointer, Yukio smirked mirthfully as Rin's  eyes refocused and immediately caught sight of the red dot on the ground beside him.

"You again." He heard Rin snarl.

POV of Rin

"You again" I snarled at the evil dot.

My tail flicked indignantly at the sight of the wretched redness of the dot.

Just...look at it! Sitting there... just glaring at me evilly. I swore it was the product of Satan himself. The dot didn't waver underneath my threatening glare. What a little bastard.

"I bet you think you're so brave, huh you little fucker..." I growled lowly.

"NYEEEAAAAHHH!" I shrieked, pouncing on it .

I knew I had caught it. I looked down at my hands.

It was on top of my fucking hand.

The moment I touched it, it returned to the top of whichever hand I had slapped it with.

"FROM WHAT LEVEL OF HELL WAS THIS MADE?!" I screamed.

Suddenly it was on the wall.

"WHAT. IS. THIS. WITCHCRAFT?!" I shrieked loudly.

I painfully slammed into the wall, and that's when I heard it. It sounded like...cackling? I turned around and my traitor of a twin brother was literally fucking crying with laughter, a writhing mess on the floor. I spotted a laser pointer in his hand. Rage and embarrassment flooded my system.

"OH YOU BASTARD!"

Round 3

Shima began to withdraw a laser pointer from his pocket. I focused on it, and it burst into blue flames, causing him to shriek and drop it, the laser pointer become no more than ash within seconds.

"Not today bitch." I growled.

Suddenly, Bon smirked.

And from his pocket he withdrew.

some

fucKING

CATNIP

This was going to be a formidable opponent.

I glared ferociously at the offending object dangling in front of my face. How dare Bon threaten me with "kitty pot"?! It smelled sooooo nice thou- NO STOP GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF ME!. Okay, Okay Rin, observe the situation. What would Shiro do? If.....he had cat instinc- okay, this is not helping you Rin. Yukio isn't here right now and Shura is piss drunk, so you're on your own Rin. Maybe you should just, well, speak your mind, tell him 'no, i do NOT want the fucking catnip.' Yeah, I'll try that...

"I fucking hate you so much right now." I spat at Ryuji.

Well then.

Um, was not expecting that. You know it's kinda cool my mind has an echo though. HeLlOoOoOo. Hello.

AHHHhhHHhHHHhhhh JESUS ON A SAIL BOAT FUCKING SHIT BALLS WHAT THE FLYING FUCK?!

Wait, why would Jesus need a sail boat? Never mind, that's not the point.

I jerked back when I heard the other voice and smacked my head on a desk.

"OW FUCK!" I yelped, nursing the sore spot on my head.

Bon threw me and weird and slightly concerned look.

"Dude, are you okay?" He inquired.

I really needed to forget that.

"Just give me the fucking catnip"

Later the next day...

I woke up safe and cozy in my bed. I furrowed my brows. 'How the fuck did I get here?' was the first thought of my day.

Fan-fucking-tastic.

I glanced at the clock, which read 6:32am. Why the fuck was I even awake?! Has the apocalypse begun or something?!

I'm saying fuck a lot aren't I?

Whatever. I rolled out of bed (literally, and promptly face-planted on the carpet) and stood up, composing myself. I stumbled downstairs, towards the kitchen. I was going to make breakfast with Ukobach, because I had some time. Okay, I had like 2 hours... I wordlessly entered the kitchen, heading towards the cabinet to get a mixing bowl, noticing Ukobach was still snoozing away.

Looks like I'm making breakfast by myself then.

As I mixed some pancake batter, I pondered for the first time what the gehenna had happened the day before. Then I remembered.

"Fuck."

was the first word I said that day.

Again, later on....

I slowly walked into my classroom with a feeling of dread. The room fell silent when I walked in, and I heard muffled laughing.

"Okay, I have no idea what the hell I did, and I'm not sure I even want to fucking know, so spare me...please." I said, without looking up from my desk.

"Pfft, nope, you have to watch the video. It's mandatory." Shima snickered.

I pressed my lips together.

"Who recorded it?" I asked first.

"I did." He replied.

"Ugh, fine lets just get it over and done with." I sighed.

They all gathered around the table and Shima played the video.

Video me sat still for, like, a whole minute.

"Um, guys? I think we broke hi-" Ryuji began, but he was cut off by me.

"BON. BON-BON. I like bon-bons and Bon, but does Bon taste like a bon-bon?" I recited like I was in a trance.

Suddenly video me sprung up.

"Bon," I papped him on the shoulder.

"What?" He asked, amused.

"BOn. BoN. bon. BONNN!" I said over and over again, continuing my smacking-of-his-shoulder.

"WHAT?!"

And I

fucking

licked him.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" He smacked me.

I made some kind of weird ass scREEE sound and sprung backwards, landing on a desk and breaking it.

"BON DOES NOT TASTE LIKE BON BONS!" I screamed.

"What does Bon taste like?" Video Konekomaru wondered aloud.

"Like cinnamon and stupidity." Video me answered. "and kangabunnies" I added.

"What's a kangabunny?" Video Izumo asked.

"It's a kangaroo, but a frickin bunny at the same time. I think it needs to make up it's mind. It likes blueberries." Video me explained.

"I-I don't even know why I even asked." She shook her head.

Suddenly, me eyes darted to a miffed Ryuji's hair.

"Cockadoodledo!" I shrieked loudly, springing towards Ryuji's head.

"AHHHHH!" He yelled and was tackled into the device that was recording.

The video had cut off there. I was biting my lip to keep back laughter at my own behavior.

"I fucking hate you al- HAHHAHAHH" I grit out, but i burst into laughter at the end.

Soon, I calmed down.

"Now, last question, did you assholes post it on YouTube?" I asked.

"Maybe..." Shima trailed off.

"Okay, how many views?" I asked.

"it'sviral." He said quickly and quietly.

"What?"

"It's viral."

I stared at Shima long and hard.

"...I hope you realize that if I become famous because of that I'm going to fucking murder you."

Shima wisely bolted out of the room.


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