"Cat"lateral Damage (You already know this is going to be bad and full of bad cat puns)
It was a clear blue skied summer day when Rin was laying on his stomach next to the desk (yes, he was on the floor by Yukio's feet because Rin's just too cool for beds), tail swaying slightly before it happened (While Yukio's hand twitched, having the strongest urge to grab Rin's tail). Anyway, Yukio had learned of the "demonnip" incident and after the watching the video (and laughing his ass off) he couldn't help but wonder, what caused the catnip to affect Rin at all? Well, it had effect on Kuro, seeing as he was a cat sith, but Ukobach didn't even care about the catnip.
Hell, Yukio had even tried the catnip on Amaimon, who, instead of going for the catnip, went for Yukio's throat. Not a very pleasant experience, and in retrospect, it was a dumbass idea to even try in the first place. But was Yukio going to admit that? Heh, no. The point was, Yukio had no idea why the catnip had affected his brother, and considering how stuck up and smart Yukio was, he was getting pissed.
So now he was reading a few books to try and determine why the catnip had so much of an affect on Rin. He was reading the line "Sometimes, high-level or powerful demons can have an "animal manifestation" that causes them to act a certain way. Some things can even trigger a high-level or powerful demon to become it's animal manifestation for a period of time" when it happened. Thunder suddenly well, thundered (great choice of words there me) across the sky as though the mighty heavens had devoured 5 pounds of sugar-free Haribo gummy bears and it's heavenly bowels were violently rebelling with gallons acidic RAAAAAAAGE diarrhea about to shoot like a fucking bullet out of it's ass- er, skyhole. Whatever the fuck you want to call it, man/woman/eggplant child.
The point was, some epic fucking thunder that spontaneously appeared out of fucking nowhere during the cloudless sunny day had roared across the sky for the sake of the plot and a helluva lot of shit went down. Rin's tail shot up like a bullet, knocking off Yukio's glasses (and possibly breaking his nose in the process), a startled screech escaped Rin's throat, there was a scampering of feet, several very loud bangs, another crash of thunder, more loud bangs, more startle screeches, some sounds of flapping, a poofing sound, Loud meowing, louder meowing, even fucking louder meowing, A WHHOOOOSH sound and then-
The fuck was that all about?
Yukio got up to investigate........
......and then his dick fucking EXPLODED
Haha, I'm just fucking with you, (not literally you dirty slut/whore/hoe-who-should-be-with-my-gardening-tools), his dick didn't actually explode, but it felt like it when Yukio had a spare pair of glasses on, had gotten up to go look for his brother, and tripped over Rin's discarded manga (that his tall ass couldn't see)...
Only to land in a splitz
Directly on his ballsack
Biting on his lip hard enough to draw a bead of blood (ooh~ more beads for Amaimon's necklace!) Yukio bit back an extremely girly shriek and staggered up and around the dorm, looking for his brother.
He, unfortunately, couldn't find Rin.
AAAHHHHHHH ITS WET
AHHHHHHHHH IM FAST AS FUCKING HELL
AHHHHHHHHHHH WHY AM I ON ALL FOUR LIMBS?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY AM I COVERED IN FUR?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY IS IT SO LOUD?!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY THE FUCK AM I SO DAMN CUTE?!
Okay, I'm done now.
But hOLY SHIT IM COLD
The fuck am I?
Am I... in a box? A cardboard box? How do I...even fit in here? The fuck? I padded over to a piece of broken glass (padded? Why am I padding I should be walking) and looked at my reflection.
And proceeded to scream (read "yowl") a lung out. Why?
BECAUSE IM A (FUCKING ADORABLE AS SHIT) KITTEN!
/Wait, there's footsteps coming nearby./
Shut up brain I'm trying to concentrate! Knight...to queen fur (pun very much intended)
/Rin this is checkers/
I HATE YOU!
Wait, hold up. Shut up brain, someone's coming.
/That's what I just sa-/
The flap to the box I was in opened and in peered the (fucking huge) face of Bon.
"Bon!" I mewled happily. "Why am I a cat?!" I asked him.
He didn't seem to understand me.
"What're you doing in there all alone? You look scared shitless little dude."
"No fucking shit Sherlock! You're fucking humongous!" I hissed.
Bon rolled his eyes.
"A tiny cute thing like you is trying to intimidate me? I like your style, you really remind me of Rin, the adorable fucker. Let's get you somewhere dry for the night. Koneko would freak if he caught wind that I left something as helpless as you all alone."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" I mewled indignantly
None the less, Bon tucked me into the crook of his arms and pulling up his hood as a shield from the splashing rain that was beginning to fall, he jogged back to his dorm. With every crash of thunder, I would jump, he would chuckled, making his chest rumbling and tickle me, and the cycle would repeat. He set me down after we'd finally gotten back to his dorm and, after shaking all the raindrops that had collected in my silky fur directly on his pants like a jackass, I began to explore my new surroundings.
Could you blame me? Everything looked so different when it was as big as Shura's fucking tits, which, mind you, are not pleasant to get your face stuffed into (unless you're Shima) if you don't want to suffocate. I shivered remembering all the unpleasant experiences. All the times I'd nearly died, but laughed in the face of death, stared at him long and hard, before he bowed his head, muttering an apology and let me go. A true veteran, I was. Apparently Yoda I am too. Wait, make sense, that does not.
The fuck am I doing?
"Hey, kitten thin- never mind, since you remind me of Rin, that's your temporary name. Rin, c'mere." Bon suddenly called.
I trotted over to him questioningly.
"I don't know why I'm talking to you like you understand me, but I'm gonna go watch 50% off. Thugisa's got a point, Derek is lookin' fine as hell. Feel free to join me."
I followed him to someplace with a TV and with some difficulty ("DAMMIT WHY DO THEY MAKE COUCHES SO FCKING HIGH?! DON'T THEY KNOW DEMONS-TURN-KITTEN'S NEED TO GET ON COUCHES TOO?!") I managed to get on top of the couch and eventually settled in Bon's lap, so I could hide whenever thunder crashe- BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM *Lots of scary thunder noises* OH HOLY SHIT THAT'S LOUD AS FUCK.
Bon chuckled his (sexy- wAIT WHAT THE FUCK) deep chuckle and stroked the top of my head which (though I'd never admit it out loud) was suuuuper relaxing and made me go all stupid. Oh my god...down a littl- YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Heh, I could get used to this. After a while, Bon's petting slowed to a stop, the storm passed, Bon was out like a light, we hit the most recent episode of 50% off (Dammit Haru), and I was contented where I was.
Until a sudden POOF happened and I was back to normal, with my head on Bon's lap. I quietly sprang up, slightly disappointed, slightly relieved to be back in my normal body. Damn, it was kinda fun being a cat. Oh well, it was bound to happen again. I turned to regretfully leave, when I stopped. I grabbed a blanket, make sure he was comfortable, before throwing the blanket over Bon.
Still, I didn't feel right.
I turned off the T.V and dimmed the lights.
I pondered what to do when I remembered something I used to do to Yukio every night to ensure he'd have no bad dreams (though he never knew of this). I quietly padded over to Bon and planted a kiss in the middle of his forehead. Holy shit I was so fucking domestic wasn't I?
I'm probably living in a bad shoujo manga, haha.
But there. Now I was done here. Blushing slightly and ignoring the looks from other people (who thankfully weren't in the same room as Bon and I), I skipped out of Bon's dorm building, and back to mine, where I'd meet a psychotically worried Yukio. And tomorrow, Bon would tell me about the mysterious cat the reminded him so much of me, and I'd blush and look away, but as of now?
I didn't care.
The next day at school...
I bit my lip to refrain from busting out laughing like a retarded narwhal. Why, may you ask? Because Bon was telling me and everyone else about this "adorable" little black cat he'd found yesterday that mysteriously disappeared and the fucker had NO idea the cat was actually me.
It was still stormy out today (and I hated thunder) (so, so, goddamn much.) (like seriously, what does it eat 8 tons of sugar free haribo gummy bears and like 60 gallons of fucking cranberry juice?) (I should stop with these parenthesis) so we were all hanging out in the classroom for lunch today.
I was a bit apprehensive about going to school at all today lest some spontanious fucking thunder came out of NOWHERE and boomed so loudly that it caused me to become a cat again like BBBOOOOOOOOOM!-
BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMM CRRAAAAHHHSSSHHH *more scary thunder noises*
"Kya!" I shrieked like a little girl who saw J̶u̶s̶t̶i̶n̶ ̶B̶i̶e̶b̶e̶r̶ (BAD EXAMPLE BAD EXAMPLE) David tennant and to my utter fucking dismay a soft PPOOOFF happened and lo and behold, everything was fucking huge again. Not the point, but still. I don't like it when I'm tiny (Wait, I'm short, so stuff being big is normal but NOT THIS BIG!) Everyone coughed and batted the poofy glitter shit (not actual shit that'd be disgusting [but kinda interesting]) away from their many orifices. Soon, as the poofy shit cleared, everyone's eyes settled on me.
"Hi?" I meowed sheepishly, but this didn't understand me.
"Wait, that's the cat from yesterday...and where's Rin?" Bon asked no one, well, probably Bob the ghost who doesn't write his name of papers, confusedly.
"Piece it together dipshit" I meowed, looking awkwardly to the side.
"Hold on, that cat has Rin's same eye color..." Izumo began before trailing off.
"...Rin?" Bon asked "cat"iously.
A sudden poof happened again and I was back. Shit.
"Hi?" I nervously chuckled, a sizzling hot poker human-barbecue-eye-poker-outer-thingy worthy blush began creeping up my cheeks (No, not THOSE cheeks you slut).
I began slowly getting up an walking backwards out of the room (and promptly smacking my head against the wall) while everyone stared at me in shock, even Takara. Bon was the first to react by slowly walking towards me.
"Yeahhhhh...I'm just- BYE!" I shouted, darting out of the room.
I had NO idea why I was running but I was, so I didn't question it. Bon pursued me and called out for me but for some reason I was compelled to ignore him (might authoress powers man, they get you) Man, this was so bad, just like that Sherlock fanfic I read today. Dammit, I didn't want a sherlolly fanfic! I wanted a JohnLock one! JOHNLOCK! But that was besides the point.
Crap, Bon was behind me now! I suddenly stopped for the sake of the plot and Bon tripped over me...
Only to have him land on top of me in a VERY compromising position.
As in both our lips were smashed together
and we were both kissing (and was I kissing back...? Wait, why am I kissing back? My heart is beating suuuuper fast now and this is uncomfortable shitshitshit what do i do)
In the middle of the lunch room.
in front oF A LOT OF STUDENTS HOLYSHIT
This sounds like a bad shoujo manga huh?
The area around us had gone absolutely silent and everyone was staring at me and Bon. At that moment, something in me decided spontaneously that that one moment in time was precisely the perfect moment to become a cat again.
Bon also decided he'd pick me up and hold me (in a comfortable position) while (trying so hard to) calmly walking out of the cafeteria through the rain. He continued silently (and unnervingly) all the way back to the classroom where everyone was murmuring about what had just occurred previously. He just sat down with me trapped in his lap. I tried to escape but shrunk back down as another loud BBBBOOOOOOOOOMMMM of thunder happened. He just patted my head and absent-mindedly stroked my back hypnotically as he chatted with everyone who were still chattering about how I was a cat and teasing Bon for thinking I was cute.
At some point, they realized how me being a cat connected with the catnip and even I had to chuckle inwardly when I realized I hadn't even thought of it before. Then Shima said something (read: teased Bon) about carrying me back to the dorm when I had finally conked out on his lap after the catnip incident. I perked up. So that's how I'd gotten back to the dorm after the catnip thing!
That was...actually kinda sweet of Bon. I didn't want to admit it, but...I was grateful. Bon wasn't such an asshole after all. My kokoro was going all doki doki-oh god this really is a bad shoujo manga isn't it?!
"S-Shut up!" Bon hissed, clearly flustered.
I wonder why?
"Oh shut it. You know you LOVE HI-" Shima began to yell but a hand was slapped over his mouth.
What did he say? Bah, I'm way to tired to care right now and Bon's hands in my fur felt sooooo nice. I could just sleep right now. I probably will- *cute kitten snoring sounds*
3rd person POV
A poof happened again and everyone looked down to the source to see Rin back to normal. Only difference was that he was sound asleep, face buried in Bon's lap as he let out (adorable) purr-like snores. Or were those just purrs? Probably, actually. Nevertheless...
"Rin, wake up." Bon whispered, trying to rouse the sleeping boy.
Rin mumbled something, sounding so cute it was stupid. He shifted a bit and his eyes scrunched before he relaxed again, one hand childishly gripping a fold in Bon's slacks.
"C'mon, do I really need to take you back to your dorm again?" Bon asked exasperatedly.
"Mayyyybe...yes." Rin mumbled sleepily, rubbing one eye with a balled up fist.
"Can't you just walk there yourself?"
"No. Carry me." Rin demanded childishly.
"...Carry you. You want me to carry you. Are you kidding me?" Bon dead-panned.
"No, you make a good pillow, do it." Rin said, lightly smacking Bon on the chest as he curled into his stomach.
"Ri-" Bon began but was cut off by Rin by putting a finger to his lips.
"SHHHHHHHH. Pillows don't talk Bon." Rin said while everyone else was off to the side, silently dying from laughing at this spectacle before them. Shima snickered as he continued making a video of this. His subscribers on YouTuber were gonna flip!
"They don't carry people either!" Bon retorted.
"Fuck your rules. Do it." Rin mumbled into Bon's shirt.
Bon sighed heavily. "I'm not going to win this fight am I?"
He could feel Rin's smirk against his stomach. "Nope."
Bon rubbed his face exasperatedly and granted Rin's wishes, scooping up the smaller boy who instantaneously snuggled into his neck, causing his face to blossom into a nice red, causing the other exwires to burst into more silent but deadly laughter.
And so, Ryuji trudged to Rin's dorm and laid the now back-asleep boy on his bed, and after looking outside and seeing the now raging storm, decided "fuck classes" and hopped in the bed with Rin.
Because Bon just doesn't give a fuck anymore. He's just fab like that.Meanwhile, Yukio and Mephisto were watching the video Shima had just posted.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAH I'm sorry Yukio, but I totally ship your brother and Suguro."
Yukio didn't respond, but allowed himself a small smirk. He agreed.