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Legolas' & Gandalf's New York Adventure

By Nikidri

Humor

Legolas' & Gandalf's New York Adventure

Gandalf and Legolas fell into an alleyway in the heart of a great city.

"I'm not sure where Sauron has sent us, but I have a feeling this place is pure evil." Gandalf told Legolas. They heard footsteps coming down the alleyway. They tensed, unsure of what to expect. A woman with short blonde hair with flame red tips appeared.

"Those cosplay outfits are awesome!" the girl exclaimed. "Is there a convention going on?" she continued.

Legolas pulled his sword out and held it at the girl's neck crying out "Speak your name mortal!"

The girl held up her hands defensively "Niki! My name is Niki!"

"Niki," Gandalf started, "do you know where we are? Last we remember, we were at the Black Gate fighting Sauron's army."

"Wait, are you trying to tell me that you're the real Legolas and Gandalf?"

"Yes, and you'd better tell us where we are!" Legolas cried, still holding his blade at Niki's throat.

"N-New York City in the United States. Somehow you got transported to a different world, realm, or dimension. Whichever term you prefer."

"Lies!" Legolas cried out.

"Calm down! And remove that blade from her neck." Gandalf grumbled. Then he clunked his staff on Legolas' head.

"Ow!"

"You shouldn't threaten beautiful women!" Gandalf said as he winked at Niki, "Besides, she should show us around her city."

"I don't mind showing you around." She told them. She led the men out of the alleys and down the street. They got hot dogs at a food stand and took photos together. Legolas kept making goofy faces. Finally the two men were intrigued by a building with a neon pink sign.

"Let's go in there!" Gandalf declared.

"I don't know if that's a good idea...?" Niki mumbled, but the men were already heading in. Niki looked on as they entered the strip club, and decided to follow them inside, believing it could be entertaining. Gandalf and Legolas were staring in wonder at a woman who was sliding on the stripper pole. To Niki's horror Legolas jumped on stage and pushed the woman off and started mimicking her actions on the pole. He ripped off his shirt and cried out "MAKE IT RAIN!"

Gandalf and Niki began to crack up and they all started to drink. The rest of the night passed in a blur and eventually the three blacked out. The next morning the three woke up nude and cuddling in a barn. Aragorn walked in to saddle up Eagle.

"Um... wait, I don't even want to know what happened last night."

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E_W_Hemmings: First of all, sorry this review took so long: I've had science mocks recently and then when I came to read this, I made notes to put in the review like I usually do... but then I deleted them. Well done me. As a result, this review is a bit more general than most reviews I write, but hey ho, let'...

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Alex Rushmer: I just want to say that the writing in this is amazing! I read the first couple chapters and was absolutely drawn in by it, The way you use first person in this story is extremely engaging and does wonders with your character development. I immediately had a picture of the characters and plotline...

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

Rebeccaseal: This was an almost perfect story that I would recommend to anyone. The only thing I would work on is painting a more realistic picture of Haiathiel. Somehow the environment seemed limited, and the land itself a bit unfinished. This can be solved simply by added descriptions to people and places. ...

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