Legolas' & Gandalf's New York Adventure

Summary

Crack fic. Gandalf and Legolas get a surprise trip to another world and have quite the adventure.

Genre:
Humor
Author:
liliumluv
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
16+

Legolas' & Gandalf's New York Adventure

Gandalf and Legolas fell into an alleyway in the heart of a great city.

"I'm not sure where Sauron has sent us, but I have a feeling this place is pure evil." Gandalf told Legolas. They heard footsteps coming down the alleyway. They tensed, unsure of what to expect. A woman with short blonde hair with flame red tips appeared.

"Those cosplay outfits are awesome!" the girl exclaimed. "Is there a convention going on?" she continued.

Legolas pulled his sword out and held it at the girl's neck crying out "Speak your name mortal!"

The girl held up her hands defensively "Niki! My name is Niki!"

"Niki," Gandalf started, "do you know where we are? Last we remember, we were at the Black Gate fighting Sauron's army."

"Wait, are you trying to tell me that you're the real Legolas and Gandalf?"

"Yes, and you'd better tell us where we are!" Legolas cried, still holding his blade at Niki's throat.

"N-New York City in the United States. Somehow you got transported to a different world, realm, or dimension. Whichever term you prefer."

"Lies!" Legolas cried out.

"Calm down! And remove that blade from her neck." Gandalf grumbled. Then he clunked his staff on Legolas' head.

"Ow!"

"You shouldn't threaten beautiful women!" Gandalf said as he winked at Niki, "Besides, she should show us around her city."

"I don't mind showing you around." She told them. She led the men out of the alleys and down the street. They got hot dogs at a food stand and took photos together. Legolas kept making goofy faces. Finally the two men were intrigued by a building with a neon pink sign.

"Let's go in there!" Gandalf declared.

"I don't know if that's a good idea...?" Niki mumbled, but the men were already heading in. Niki looked on as they entered the strip club, and decided to follow them inside, believing it could be entertaining. Gandalf and Legolas were staring in wonder at a woman who was sliding on the stripper pole. To Niki's horror Legolas jumped on stage and pushed the woman off and started mimicking her actions on the pole. He ripped off his shirt and cried out "MAKE IT RAIN!"

Gandalf and Niki began to crack up and they all started to drink. The rest of the night passed in a blur and eventually the three blacked out. The next morning the three woke up nude and cuddling in a barn. Aragorn walked in to saddle up Eagle.

"Um... wait, I don't even want to know what happened last night."

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