Harry Potter & the Playboy Mansion

Summary

Crack fic. Harry and Voldemort have a surprise meeting when Harry is on a date.

Genre:
Humor
Author:
liliumluv
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
5.0 1 review
Age Rating:
16+

Harry Potter & the Playboy Mansion

Lakota was furious when she realized that Niki had given her the address for a drag queen bar instead of a restaurant.

"Well," Harry said, "it's not the date we imagined, but we could perhaps have some fun still."

"I dunno..." Lakota started, but Harry grabbed her hand and dragged her inside.

She was horror-stricken as she saw some man shaking their butts on stage in short skirts and fishnets.

"Holy shit," Harry cried, "I know one of those guys!"

"Um... what the hell?" Lakota said. She was starting to question Harry's sexuality. Harry kept dragging her closer and closer to the stage. She tried to pull away, but he had a firm grip on her hand.

"Voldemort!" Harry cried, "Stop flouncing around and duel me!" One of the men jumped off of the stage and that's when Lakota realized that he didn't have a nose.

"Holy crap it really is Voldemort!"

"I thought I killed you?" Harry growled.

"You did, but somehow I came back. I no longer have any interest in conquering the world. I'm just interested in show business!" Voldemort waggled his fingers around attempting jazz hands.

"How can I believe you?"

"Oh mah god, Harry, Lucius totally said you'd be this way!"

"Well, you tried to kill me for 18 years of my life. So excuse me for being paranoid."

"I'm with Harry on this." Lakota said.

"Well fine. As an act of good faith, I'll invite you to my party." Voldemort said kindly.

"What party?" Lakota asked.

"I rented out the Playboy Mansion for the night."

"Sweet!" Harry cried, "we're so in."

"Well, let's leave now, I'm sure the limo is here now."

Lakota was quite hesitant, but decided to go along with it knowing that it would make for an interesting tale to tell Niki. They climbed into the limo and sped off. Voldemort served them martinis, which Harry checked with a spell to make sure they weren't containing drugs. Then they drank to their hearts content. By the time they reached the mansion, Harry and Voldemort were already quite tipsy. Lakota followed them inside. She was horrified when she saw a bunch of men walking around in Playboy bunny outfits.

"I thought this was the Playboy Mansion!" She cried out.

"No no! It's the 'Play with a Boy' Mansion!" Voldemort then grabbed Harry's hand and led him to a bedroom. Lakota awkwardly left.

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Loly: Me encanta, es muy divertida, Elena García una gran escritora

Mariyazen: What a beautiful plot & execution!! 🔥❤️Great work🙌👏

randallg551: I liked the story....it had an unexpected turn which ws cool. But anyway it ws 2 short..i wanted more but anyway nice

Lily Leszczuk: I don't understand why this app forces me to write a review but I guess the author is good. I noticed a few errors in wording but otherwise it was great

justiceebode: C'est juste parfait ! Les étapes d'un roman sont suivis ,il n'a pas précipité les choses ,step by step ! Et ajouter la maman africaine franchement c'était la pépite ! C'est exactement comme ça nos maman africaines ,elles nous aiment tellement mais le disent et parfois le démontre pas assez ! Supe...

Lara: Me encanta! Necesito más partes

Anne: This actually is a very good novel! Wholesome, funny and very cleverly written. I simply adore how the Disney characters were embodied in different modern day high school personalities. The plot is very well thought out and the story flows smoothly. All in all this is something great for teens an...

bwhit1230: Oh my!!! I didn't realize there was so much more....I moved in to the second story and forgot the review so here I am! I dread the drama...They are so meant to be together...I hope it goes well for them❤️

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nikki364: I would’ve wanted to know more about what happens next, but it gave me more than enough to gush and smile and feel the giddiness of being in love ❤️❤️❤️

Colleen: It's fairly easy transition from one chapter to the nextEach character is believableThey grew up together so you can tell they have history

esthersvanderbyl: Well done i enjoyed it although there was no interesting parts other than the bathroom parts other than the bathroom part but ya I enjoyed it thx and can't wait for the next one just need a little more drama

Lana01: Great book. Really enjoyed reading it.

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Sonika: Good read till now .. can't stop myself from reading without a break

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