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Harry Potter & the Playboy Mansion

By Nikidri


Harry Potter & the Playboy Mansion

Lakota was furious when she realized that Niki had given her the address for a drag queen bar instead of a restaurant.

"Well," Harry said, "it's not the date we imagined, but we could perhaps have some fun still."

"I dunno..." Lakota started, but Harry grabbed her hand and dragged her inside.

She was horror-stricken as she saw some man shaking their butts on stage in short skirts and fishnets.

"Holy shit," Harry cried, "I know one of those guys!"

"Um... what the hell?" Lakota said. She was starting to question Harry's sexuality. Harry kept dragging her closer and closer to the stage. She tried to pull away, but he had a firm grip on her hand.

"Voldemort!" Harry cried, "Stop flouncing around and duel me!" One of the men jumped off of the stage and that's when Lakota realized that he didn't have a nose.

"Holy crap it really is Voldemort!"

"I thought I killed you?" Harry growled.

"You did, but somehow I came back. I no longer have any interest in conquering the world. I'm just interested in show business!" Voldemort waggled his fingers around attempting jazz hands.

"How can I believe you?"

"Oh mah god, Harry, Lucius totally said you'd be this way!"

"Well, you tried to kill me for 18 years of my life. So excuse me for being paranoid."

"I'm with Harry on this." Lakota said.

"Well fine. As an act of good faith, I'll invite you to my party." Voldemort said kindly.

"What party?" Lakota asked.

"I rented out the Playboy Mansion for the night."

"Sweet!" Harry cried, "we're so in."

"Well, let's leave now, I'm sure the limo is here now."

Lakota was quite hesitant, but decided to go along with it knowing that it would make for an interesting tale to tell Niki. They climbed into the limo and sped off. Voldemort served them martinis, which Harry checked with a spell to make sure they weren't containing drugs. Then they drank to their hearts content. By the time they reached the mansion, Harry and Voldemort were already quite tipsy. Lakota followed them inside. She was horrified when she saw a bunch of men walking around in Playboy bunny outfits.

"I thought this was the Playboy Mansion!" She cried out.

"No no! It's the 'Play with a Boy' Mansion!" Voldemort then grabbed Harry's hand and led him to a bedroom. Lakota awkwardly left.

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Mark Morris: Just back from a week in Dublin and finished this story in 2 days - very entertaining and an easy, fun read. The plot keeps moving and the various scenarios - divorce, ex husband, job, lovers maintains interest.Hope to read part 2 soon as possible, back in Australia.Well done aiofe 👍

Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

vailak: soo beautiful...loved their friendship..

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Saffron Bloom : I've got to say this story is on my top 5 reading list. It's amazingly funny and the characters are given such personality! I love it and not just for a 'Goode' - wink wink - read but also because it helped me through some rough times with my family as well and it finally pushed me to do the thin...

Cristi C: Love the idea behind the story. I had a lot of fun reading it. Quite a bit of editing needed but overall it was a good short read. I believe the author could expand certain areas to make it mesh better. I will say Bobbie is the best character and in a way the parents too.

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