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Harry Potter & the Playboy Mansion

By Nikidri

Humor

Harry Potter & the Playboy Mansion

Lakota was furious when she realized that Niki had given her the address for a drag queen bar instead of a restaurant.

"Well," Harry said, "it's not the date we imagined, but we could perhaps have some fun still."

"I dunno..." Lakota started, but Harry grabbed her hand and dragged her inside.

She was horror-stricken as she saw some man shaking their butts on stage in short skirts and fishnets.

"Holy shit," Harry cried, "I know one of those guys!"

"Um... what the hell?" Lakota said. She was starting to question Harry's sexuality. Harry kept dragging her closer and closer to the stage. She tried to pull away, but he had a firm grip on her hand.

"Voldemort!" Harry cried, "Stop flouncing around and duel me!" One of the men jumped off of the stage and that's when Lakota realized that he didn't have a nose.

"Holy crap it really is Voldemort!"

"I thought I killed you?" Harry growled.

"You did, but somehow I came back. I no longer have any interest in conquering the world. I'm just interested in show business!" Voldemort waggled his fingers around attempting jazz hands.

"How can I believe you?"

"Oh mah god, Harry, Lucius totally said you'd be this way!"

"Well, you tried to kill me for 18 years of my life. So excuse me for being paranoid."

"I'm with Harry on this." Lakota said.

"Well fine. As an act of good faith, I'll invite you to my party." Voldemort said kindly.

"What party?" Lakota asked.

"I rented out the Playboy Mansion for the night."

"Sweet!" Harry cried, "we're so in."

"Well, let's leave now, I'm sure the limo is here now."

Lakota was quite hesitant, but decided to go along with it knowing that it would make for an interesting tale to tell Niki. They climbed into the limo and sped off. Voldemort served them martinis, which Harry checked with a spell to make sure they weren't containing drugs. Then they drank to their hearts content. By the time they reached the mansion, Harry and Voldemort were already quite tipsy. Lakota followed them inside. She was horrified when she saw a bunch of men walking around in Playboy bunny outfits.

"I thought this was the Playboy Mansion!" She cried out.

"No no! It's the 'Play with a Boy' Mansion!" Voldemort then grabbed Harry's hand and led him to a bedroom. Lakota awkwardly left.

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shemotshalom: I never ever read books,I had a little bit of trouble with it in the beginning,I ship Matt and grace but I liked her better with Cole and I would love to see how that would turn out!I still love this book there could've been more drama and I think the tittle could've tricked anyone thinking that ...

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

alicialinglitter: The book was amazing! It was not exactly the cliche which is hard to find now a days but the unique plot just blew me away. Of course, there’s the cliche ending, but what’s a good book without one? Bravo

Ben Gauger: Kudos to Dhira Vidhea, author of Boy Who Broke In My Window, an otherwise engaging tale of love and acceptance of the quirkiest of individuals, whose overall conception of the plot is spot-on and whose writing style is impeccable and as for her writing skills they are the best I've ever seen, tho...

tinaasante871: when Max first got introduced to the story I was like#where the hell is sara#...lol... I loved every minute of reading this book... it was fantastic although I would have loved to read more about Sara and Allie's wedding.....Anyways I hope u have more of these books installed for us because you'v...

Alex Rushmer: I just want to say that the writing in this is amazing! I read the first couple chapters and was absolutely drawn in by it, The way you use first person in this story is extremely engaging and does wonders with your character development. I immediately had a picture of the characters and plotline...

givemeabook1: Love it. I want to promote your Inkitt book for free to my list of newsletter subscribers. If that is ok with you then please email me at exzordersplrwso AT gmail.com to book your spot, thanks (please don’t comment here I don’t read comments).

Destiny Lee: This is amazing. It's totally realistic - cool girls have flaws, too, okay?? Totally awkward girl picks up her mom's old bass from her garage, messes around, and realizes, hey, maybe I can move on after all. She has moments where everything's hopeless for her, after all, an alcoholic dad and a fl...

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Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

Jasmine Chow: As I read this story, I was reminded some what of Terry Pratchett, especially some descriptions of politics and economics. The sci-fic setting is quite intriguing. Writing style is quite lovely and grew on me slowly. I was also slightly reminded of Mark Twain, especially his book A Connecticut Ya...

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