The Aftermath
Blaine shook his head quickly, looking at Kurt with his infamous puppy dog eyes. "Yeah, this doesn't mean anything. The only reason that we're doing this is that it's the only way Sue's gonna let us out."
"Cause Sue is forcing us." Kurt nodded, trying to make himself believe that this was in fact true.
"Forcing us." Blaine restated shaking his head again and taking a deep breath in as he looked intensely into Kurt's ocean coloured eyes.
"On the count of three." Kurt supplied, feeling weird about this whole thing. His stomach doing little flip flops inside.
"One." The Sue puppet supplied and both boys looked down on it in disgust. The quicker they did this, the sooner they would both get out of there. They looked back up to one another, resignation and determination in both sets of eyes. They were going to do this. It meant nothing. It was just a kiss after all. They had kissed many times before. This was nothing special.
"Two."
"Three." Blaine and Kurt both leant froward a little hesitantly, their lips softly touching the others...
It had been three days since that kiss in the elevator. The kiss that still haunted Kurt's every moment, awake or no. They had both made an agreement that it would not mean a thing between them and yet Kurt couldn't get it out of his mind. The tentative first touch, barely grazing one another, then Blaine's hand slid round his neck, goosebumps appearing on Kurt where their skin touched. At that moment Kurt let himself go, grabbing Blaine's shoulder to pull him closer as their lips and tongues danced with one another, deepening the kiss with each second that passed. It had never felt so desperate between them. There had been so much want, so much revealed that had never been said, Then it was over. Kurt's heart had ached so hard as he looked into Blaine's golden eyes, and he swore that for a fleeting second he saw the love that had been lost to him before Blaine's body leant back in slowly. That was until he heard the elevator doors opening and his golden eyes turned to freedom, leaving Kurt's heart to break into a million pieces.
He had pretended the next day to both Sue and Blaine that none of it had meant anything. That her plan hadn't worked. But it had. For him anyhow. Blaine, of course had gone back to Dave. He was the man in Blaine's life now. The one he told all his secrets to, all his dreams and desires. The man he kissed, made love to, held in his arms. There was no way he could tell Blaine how he really felt. That he still loved him more than anyone ever in this entire world. That he always would no matter how far apart they grew. That Walter was only a pawn to stop his heart from hurting so much. An escape, something fun but not serious.
No Kurt had done the right thing. He had protected his heart from more pain. They were friends and nothing more...
"Kurt, you alright kiddo? You've been acting weird all weekend." His father exclaimed, making Kurt jump out of his seat on the breakfast bar of his family home in Lima as he came out of his daydream in a daze. His father had been very supportive when Kurt had told him about what had happened between him and Blaine, not telling him that he had been wrong or that he had made a mistake. All he had done was listen and comfort his son throughout this whole sorry business. There were some things even a father shouldn't know though and this was one of them.
"I'm fine dad, just thinking of next weeks lesson plan for glee." Kurt smiled weakly at his father, hoping he wouldn't see the massive cracks in his white lie.
Apparently he did though. "Bullcrap. Tell me what's really going on. Is this about Blaine again? You have that unhappy look on your face that you only get when you think of him." Kurt bit his bottom lip to stop it from quivering but failed miserably. As the tears started pouring down his face a great sob erupted from his mouth and he felt the strong arms of his father fiercely pull him to his chest. "Oh Kurt, what's happened now, hmm?"
Kurt had told him about Sue trapping him in an elevator because, well, because she is crazy. What he had failed to mention to his dad was that Blaine had been in there as well and that they had shared an extremely passionate kiss to open the doors. That that was why he had been stuck in a fake elevator in the first place. His father had been going crazy with worry when he hadn't come home and had received no phone call as to why, and had almost gone into the school to have it out with Sue when he had heard where Kurt had been. Only Kurt's incessant begging and telling his dad he wanted to deal with it himself as an adult had stayed his father from flying completely off the handle and potentially killing Sue. After all no one pushed the Hummels around. Not even Sue Sylvester. "I...I haven't been completely honest with you dad." Kurt looked down at the floor in shame. He was never good at keeping things from his father. His dad always saw through him.
"What do you mean?" He asked, pulling away from his son and furrowing his brows together as he looked sternly at his own son.
"When Sue locked me in that fake elevator it... It wasn't just me inside. Blaine was there too."
"Oh?" Burt raised his right brow inquisitively as he crossed his arms across his chest.
"She wouldn't let us out until we had kissed. She has this weird obsession with us being together." Kurt murmured lowly, scared of what his father might say. His face looked like thunder and the fact that he was really quiet meant the likelihood was he was mad. Very mad. At whom Kurt couldn't quite decide yet.
Eventually his fathers shoulders relaxed a little and his face became softer. "Did you?"
"Did I what dad?" Kurt looked at him in puzzlement, not sure what he was asking. He shuffled uncomfortably on the breakfast stool he was perched on as his father continued to stare intently at him.
"Did you kiss?" His father almost whispered out, an expression on his face that Kurt couldn't read. It was almost like hope and yet sadness was in there too. Kurt was silent, wringing his hands and trying to come up with an answer that didn't completely give away all his feelings. The silence however, spoke volumes. "I see. Your heart was in it but Blaine's wasn't."
"No, he wanted it dad, I know he did. I could see it in his eyes. It was... it was everything. It was as though he was telling me in that one kiss everything he had wanted to say to me in the last nine or so months that we've been apart. That he still cared."
"Then why are you upset? Have you not talked about it with him?" Burt asked, clearly confused.
"Dad he's with Dave now. He doesn't want me. I hurt him dad. I broke his heart. He'll never forgive me for that." Kurt wailed, the tears starting to flow down his cheeks again. He had right royally screwed up. The love had gone. The trust along with it. Kurt had broken them. It was all his fault. He had lost the one man that he had ever loved and he could never get him back. Not now. Not ever.
"Are you sure you've lost him for good kiddo? If he looked like he still cared, maybe not all has been lost. You might still have a chance to get him back but you have to fight, like he fought for you once before." Kurt's lips parted slightly as his fathers words left there mark on him. Could he? Was that what Blaine wanted him to do? To fight to win him back? Determination set itself inside of Kurt. Yes, he was going to get Blaine back if it was the last thing that he did.
Blaine stood looking out the window of his faculty office on Monday afternoon, waiting for his Warblers to show up. It would be another hour or so till they did but it was better than being at home, alone. This weekend had not been fun. He had confessed to Dave what had happened. Dave had not been happy. Not happy at all. In fact he had left Blaine. They were no longer a couple. It was probably for the best. Blaine had only ever really gone out with him as a rebound thing in the first place. He didn't even know how it had got as far as it did. Actually he did know, Kurt had come back and the only way he could think of to heal his heart had been to stay with Dave. It hadn't worked. Not at all. Blaine's heart could not be healed. It was broken beyond repair. He had known that before the kiss that was now seared onto his memory. Now, after the fact, it hurt worse than before.
He sighed, closing his eyes, letting his fingers brush against his lips as he remembered what it felt like like when Kurt's pressed against them. He had never in a million years have thought that their kiss would have been like it had. As soon as he felt Kurt touching him it had been like a fire inside of him had awoken. Something that he had thought was long since dead. He couldn't get enough as he had gripped Kurt's neck, forcing the boy towards him, not wanting to ever part their mouths crashing against one another in a desire so strong Blaine was almost overwhelmed by it all. It had never been like that with Kurt. It had always been sweet and romantic, fun and daring as they explored one another. Never had it been desperate and needy and oh so right. Blaine had wanted Kurt, wanted all of him. Only the elevator doors opening had broken the strange entrancement that had come over him in that moment. He had seen such sorrow in Kurt's eyes after that it had felt a little like a dagger thrusting into his heart.
But then Kurt didn't love him anymore. He had made that clear many times now. That he didn't think of Blaine in any way other that as friends. That they didn't work as a couple. Blaine had accepted that. He had to. He hadn't wanted to but he had with a sadness inside his heart that would never escape.
His eyes flickered open again, one lone tear falling down his face as he remembered what he had once had. He had once been happy. Now he wasn't even sure what it felt like to be happy. Safe perhaps, cared for possibly. But happiness was something that seemed very far away from him now. A lifetime ago. Some days he just went through the motions, not even remembering any events that had taken place that day at all. Sometimes the pain was so much that he felt like he was suffocating. Those were the days his therapist was the most concerned about. The days he...
"Blaine?" Came a soft familiar voice from the doorway to his office. Shaking himself out of his reverie he looked over to see Kurt hovering, looking unsure of himself, his arms wrapped around his waist to make himself smaller.
"Hey. Shouldn't you be at glee?" Blaine asked gently, wondering why the boy was here of all places.
"Rachel can cope on her own today." Kurt responded with his wry smile in place, stepping into the office and closing the door behind him. "Actually I need to talk to you."
"Oh, what about?" Blaine asked warily. He couldn't give his heart so freely anymore. He was not so trusting of people as he once was. That was all down the the boy standing in front of him.
"Blaine I need you to know that I still care about you a great deal, no I... I love you. I know you're with Dave but I'm going to fight to win you back because what happened in that elevator, it meant something. I can't just dismiss it anymore. It made my heart ache more than its ever done before in my entire life." Kurt stopped, his chest going up and down rapidly at his declaration. Blaine didn't know what to think. It was too much. He felt like he was dying a little bit inside second by second. Did Kurt really still love him or was he just lonely and Blaine was a safe option? He just didn't know anymore. "Please say something, or I think I might die." Kurt whispered out on the verge of tears.
"Dave left me. I told him what happened. That I-" Blaine mumbled out, his eyes looking at anything other than Kurt. He would not let himself fall again and be torn apart for it.
"So you're free. We can be together again?" Kurt stated, hope evident on his face as his eyes went wide and a soft smile developed on his face.
Blaine blinked at him, his face looking like it had been carved out of marble. Inside he felt like he was collapsing into a pile of gelatinous goo. Could he trust these words? "You say you love me, but do you really mean that? You said those words to me before and then you broke my heart. I can't trust anything that comes out of your mouth." Turning away from Kurt, Blaine allowed a little hitch in his breath, and a stray tear to fall once again.
"Then what can I do to get you back?" Kurt sobbed from behind Blaine and the smaller boy sighed tiredly. He was sick of all this hurt inside of him. This permanent scar that had been torn onto his heart.
"Prove that you love me. Maybe then, and only then will I think about it Kurt."
"But how Blaine? I love you. Please. I'm trying to be completely honest with you." Kurt begged and Blaine could feel that walls he had built up around him slowly crumbling. His lower lip wobbled and he turned back to the only man he had ever truly loved.
"I love you Kurt. I always will but I... I can't go through that again. I can't. You need to go." His hands came up over his face, burying himself from Kurt's view as the tears started flowing freely down his face. When he felt Kurt's strong arms wrapping themselves around his back he melted, allowing himself to cry into Kurt's chest, clinging to the boys shirt tightly in his balled up fists.
"I will never stop trying to get you back Blaine. I love you." Kurt whispered into his hair and a spark of something Blaine thought was lost resurfaced. The tiniest of flickering flames inside his heart. Hope.
