All Over Me
Blinking to clear his vision, Finn is unaware of his surroundings or how he had gotten there. He remembered the pain from the wound in his back, but it was now gone. Once he had awakened fully, Rey was in his mind calling to him, but it wasn’t her. He did see a familiar face, but then he moves his head from side to side still searching for her. The last time he had seen her she was alone and unprotected. “Rey? Is Rey Okay?”
Leia is there to answer him. “Lie back, relax. You’ve been in a coma. I’ll go get the doctor,” she said hoping to calm him.
He grabs her hand. “But is she Okay?” He tried to contain his emotions, but whenever he thought of Rey, they were all over the place.
Leia answers him calmly. “Yes, she’s Okay, but,” she hesitates.
He frowned, expecting bad news. “But what?”
“She had to go away for a while,” Leia told him calmly. He didn’t take it well, so she decided not to tell him about Rey’s mission to find Luke, hopefully to bring him home.
“Oh, I see.” He thought about it. “Did she return to Jakku; she was determined to return there?” Then he remembered, “Was it because of Han and the way he died?”
At that question, Leia’s eyes fill with tears.
“I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?”
“No, you didn’t know,” Leia replied and wiped away a stray tear.
“What don’t I know?”
“Han … he was my husband.”
“I’m so sorry.” Finn felt horrible.
“Don’t be; he was a wonderful man, a great man.”
“Yes he was, and for those times we were together, I sensed it.”
She managed a grin. “You’re a good man Finn.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, thinking of Rey. “I don’t feel that way. I tried to protect her, but I failed. If something were to happen to her?” He let that trail off.
“You care for her?” Leia sensed this.
“I guess; I do care, but.” Leia was quiet. “Do you know who she is? She doesn’t even know.”
“No, I don’t know.”
“Are you sure because?”
Leia frowned. “Because what?”
“I don’t know but you two have similar features. It’s the eyes, I think.”
She thought about that. “Well, maybe we are,” Leia said distracted by that possibility. Was it true? Were they related?
“I can’t seem to keep my eyes open but I want to stay awake to see Rey,” Finn said trying to stay awake just to see her again.
“You rest; I’ll be right back.” She stood up.
“But when is she coming back?”
Leia didn’t know if or when she would see Rey again, but then she searched her feelings. “Soon, soon now. Close your eyes.”
He did as she said. “Thank you, General.”
“Call me Leia.”
“Thank you, Leia.”
Meanwhile, on a hilltop in another galaxy:
“Take it,” Rey said it again and held the light saber out to him.
Luke searched her face. He knew it was her. It had to be her; no one else. “On one condition.”
Rey frowned and lowered the saber. “What condition?”
“That you stay here and let me train you,” Luke replied stunning the young woman.
Confused, she asked, “Train me for what?”
“Surely you know,” Luke replied and smiled indulgently at her.
That inexplicable feeling moved through her mind, body, and soul. She knew what it meant. “Am I a Jedi?”
“Yes, you are, well, in time you will be.”
“Time, how much time?”
“As long as it takes,” he replied sounding cryptic.
“But I have to go back.” She knew the answer. “You have to come back with me,” she said stunning the man.
Luke turned from her, and thought about her words. He needed to train her; she needed it and he needed it too. After what happened with Ben, he had to do this one thing before he died, and he needed to see Leia to ask for her forgiveness.
Standing there watching him come to terms with possibly returning with her, and still holding the saber, she also turned, looked out over the vast ocean and thought of her life up until now. She suddenly realized that this was her destiny, to be here on this hilltop holding the saber. But what she saw in her vision was troubling and terrifying. Am I ready for all of it? Then thoughts of Finn crossed her mind. Will he wait for me or will he leave? I may never see him again. He needed to go far away from the First Order and from me. But that was before he came for me and rescued me, although I didn’t need it.
Decision made, she held up the saber again and turned to him. “You should take this. I’m not ready.”
He looked at the saber then back at her face. “You keep it, but you are ready, Rey and I’m going to prove it to you.”
“Are you saying that you’ll come with me?” She was totally shocked.
“Yes, I’ll come with you,” Luke replied and decided it was time. He wanted to tell her the truth of who she is, but decided against it for now.
She was thrilled for Leia and for everyone. Her eyes filled with tears thinking about seeing Finn and about the training, but she was still worried about that. “Are you sure I’m ready for training; I mean,” she faltered at a loss.
“I’m sure of it,” he replied and smiled at her.
His smile and his faith in her warmed her heart. “Well, I guess it’s time to go.”
Luke took a deep breath, and after gathering his things, he followed her. Once on board the ship, he greeted his old friend Chewbacca. He gave Chewie a hug because they both needed it.
Chewie spoke to him. “Arghaaa, hauahag.”
“I know, old friend, I know,” Luke said. “I miss him too.”
Rey stood back and watched them and miraculously, she understood every word.
Once in hyperspace, they were almost home, but Luke had a question for her.
“You’ve made friends in your adventures, haven’t you?” Luke sensed there was someone ‘special’ to her.
“Yes, I’ve made many friends, but,” she hesitated.
“There is someone special to you?” His instincts kicked in.
“No, not really; I don’t know,” she answered him honestly.
“But you want to know more, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do,” she answered him firmly. She couldn’t look at him and turned back to steering of the ship. “It’s just, I’ve been alone for so long and,” she replied becoming emotional. But then she had a thought and turned back to him. “I didn’t mean.”
Luke understood. “It’s alright. Being alone has its advantages and disadvantages.”
“That’s true,” she said. They understood each other. Loneliness can be a conscious decision or not.
“You shouldn’t worry about your training, Rey. You will be a fine Jedi; I know this, but,” he hesitated.
Her training was important but not all important. “Making and keeping friends can be far more important than fighting wars or seeking power for yourself.”
Rey searched her feelings. “I believe you and I won’t forget.”
Luke prayed that she wouldn’t forget what was truly important.
Back at the Resistance camp:
Finn was healing just fine. The injury to his back had completely healed and he decided not to leave but to stay and wait for Rey. He knew in his gut it was right thing to do. He couldn’t just leave without saying goodbye. Besides, he had found a purpose, a reason to fight and he couldn’t be happier about it. Learning more and more about the Resistance only fueled his need to stay.
Distracted by his thoughts of seeing Rey again, making friends, meeting fighters, pilots, he felt a slap on the back.
“What’s got you so distracted?” He was quiet. “Oh, let me guess. Is it Rey?” Poe asked knowing the answer. Both of them were busy making repairs getting ready for another attack. It was only a matter of time.
“You know me too well. I guess I talk about her a lot, huh?” Finn replied.
“Only every day,” Poe said and grinned.
“Alright, you made your point,” Finn said and smiled at his friend. “Any news?”
“No, and I’m worried,” Poe replied.
“What do you mean?” Finn asked.
“It’s possible that Kylo Ren may have escaped the StarKiller Base before it collapsed.”
“But how was that possible? You said that,” he couldn’t finish.
“Yes, it’s true. According to Rey, there’s no way he could have escaped, but he is a Jedi and a Sith Lord, so,” Poe said and let that hang.
“The Jedi,” Finn murmured. “They’re not invincible; they can die.”
Poe watched him closely. “That is true; they can die.” Cocking his head to the side, he whispered, “You’re thinking of Rey.” It was a statement.
“She’s one of them, a Jedi.”
“Yes, she is.”
“And she fought Kylo Ren and survived,” Finn stated.
“She’s one amazing lady,” Poe said distracted.
Finn picked up on something. “You like her too?”
Poe cleared his throat. “Who doesn’t? Everyone is in awe of her.”
“I suppose so,” Finn said having doubts about someone like her being with someone like him.
Poe picked up on his mood. They needed to change the scenery. “I know what, we could use a drink.”
“I agree,” Finn said and after they cleaned up, Finn followed him.
A few days later:
Inside the communication room, Leia and her comrades were going over the details of what happened on the StarKiller Base and how to determine the First Order’s next move, when they got word of the Falcon coming back with Luke Skywalker on board. It would arrive within minutes.
Finn and Poe glanced at each other. They both smiled, but didn’t say anything. Everyone rushed out to the landing strip to welcome them back.
Leia stood back and watched the Falcon and of course, the memories flowed through her mind like a warm balm to her soul. He’s not on board. He’s not coming back. She had accepted it but it seemed as though she was always waiting for him and now it would be no different except he wouldn’t be coming back.
Someone touched her shoulder. It was Finn. “Are you alright?” He knew the truth now.
“Yes, I’m fine. Go on now. She’s on board,” she said eyes twinkling.
“So is Luke,” he said and smiled at her.
“Go on now,” Leia said and sent him on his way.
On the outside Finn was cool and collected but inside his heart pounded like a drum. Then he saw her walk down the gangway and she was immediately surrounded by friends and allies hoping to touch her and say welcome home. Finn stood back and watched as Poe and Rey hugged each other happy to see each other again. She kissed his cheek and a feeling came over him. He didn’t like it.
Still searching the crowd, she saw him and he saw her. Both breathing heavily they slowly walked toward each other. Poe knew what was happening. He cared for both of them and wanted them to be happy.
“I’ll see you later,” Poe said.
“Thanks, Poe, for everything,” Rey said and smiled at him.
Meanwhile, Luke and Chewbacca slowly walked down the gangway, both happy to be back. Luke and Leia locked eyes. It’s been years. Luke shook hands with the many crew members and airmen happy to be among people all fighting for the same cause, freedom.
“Welcome, home, Luke,” Leia whispered eyes tearing up.
He removed his hood. “Leia,” he said then, “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t say that,” she said, then she held out her arms and he was in them in a second. Both holding back tears, knowing this is what was important.
Rey and Finn, meanwhile, still walking toward each other, not knowing what to do or what to say. With tentative smiles on their faces, each thinking:
She’s really Okay.
He’s awake and he looks fine and healthy.
Wondering why he was so nervous, Finn took a deep breath and moved forward putting one foot in front of the other.
“Hey,” Finn whispered once they were face to face.
“Hey,” Rey whispered. “Are you Okay?” She looked him up and down.
“Yeah, now I am,” he replied and smiled then held out his hand.
“Finn,” Rey said becoming emotional.
He saw her tears and then they were holding each other close trying hard not to cry.
After a few minutes, Finn was the first to pull away. “You’re home,” he whispered.
“Yes, I came back,” she said. “Can we talk; I have so much to tell you?”
“Of course,” he replied. “It’s Okay if I hold your hand?” He was teasing her.
She chuckled. “Yes, it’s Okay. I don’t mind.” He took her hand and headed for a walk to be alone and to talk.
Leia, meanwhile, watched them with new eyes. Is it possible that Luke?
Luke caught the direction of her gaze. “Leia, I have to tell you,” he hesitated.
“I know who she is,” Leia said, interrupting him. “I suspected it, then I pushed it from my mind, but now.” She paused and stared at him. “You came back to help her, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I didn’t have a choice,” Luke said.
Still holding hands, Rey and Finn walked further through the forest not saying anything content just to be together. Soon they came across a lake. It was calm and secluded. The setting sun was dipping down in the distance.
They sat down on a log. Rey spoke first, “It’s getting dark.”
Finn wasn’t looking at the sky but at her profile. “I missed you.”
She closed her eyes feeling content and very happy. “I missed you too.”
Both watching the sky for a few minutes, Finn had to say it, “Rey, I didn’t know what happened to me and when I woke up, you were gone and I thought I would never see you again.”
She turned to him. “I felt the same way. When I was kidnapped, I thought that was it, but then you came for me. I never thanked you. Thank you, Finn.”
“Well, you did give me a hug, so thank you for that.”
Relieved, she whispered, “You’re very welcome,” she said and smiled at his look.
“So tell me about your mission,” he said.
She then told him about Luke Skywalker, his wish to train her as a Jedi, but she hadn’t truly decided if she wanted to be a Jedi at all.
Finn picked on something. “Your indecision; is it because of me?” She didn’t reply. “Rey, you should reconsider his offer. Being a Jedi, you can’t just turn it off; it’s inside you. You must know it’s always been there.”
She thought about it. “Maybe you’re right, but then I thought of you waking up and being alone and I had to see you.”
“Oh Rey, as you can I see, I’m fine.” He paused and bowed his head. “You don’t really need me.”
“Of course, I do.” It didn’t seem as if he believed her. “I’ll always need you.”
His head came up at that. “No, you won’t.” He stood up and walked over to the lake. His heart breaking, he knew what he had to do.
Rey had a feeling that he did want to leave her. She came over to him, but before she could speak, he took her hand again, raised it to his lips and kissed it softly.
“Finn, are you trying to say goodbye?” She couldn’t believe it, not after everything they’d been through.
He closed his eyes and tried to be strong. “Rey, you’re a Jedi, and me, I’m a nobody. I don’t even have a real name.”
“I don’t have a last name, but what does that have to do with anything? None of that matters to me.”
“But it matters to me. I have to find out who I am, where I came from,” he said shocking her to her soul.
“But you can’t go back there. They’ll kill you; they’ll kill you,” she said eyes tearing up, and with those words, she went into his arms, never wanting to let go; never let go.
He didn’t want to let go either. “I don’t know what’s happening between us, Rey, but I don’t want it to end, not now!” Finn was letting his primal urgings take over his common sense.
“Neither do I.”
He pulled away and stared into her eyes. “Rey?”
Nose to nose, she whispered, flirting with him, “Yes?”
“May I kiss you?”
She smiled. “Yes, you may.”
He leaned forward and closed his eyes. She closed her eyes but their foreheads bummed, surprising them both.
“Sorry,” he whispered.
“Let’s try it this way,” she whispered and turned her head one way.
“Ok,” he whispered and turned his head the other way. Closing their eyes again, their lips touched softly and then more pressure and more still. Instinctively, his mouth opened and she did the same and then he pulled her closer and kissed her more deeply. Tongues touched and swirled and then her arms circled his waist pulling him closer. They both moaned and then they were kissing passionately. After a few minutes of desperate kisses and caresses, both breathing heavily, their foreheads touched both hoping to secure their breathing.
“What are you thinking?” Finn managed to ask hoping it wasn’t horrible for her.
She opened her eyes slowly. “Wow, that was wonderful. Again please?”
He smiled and after a few more kisses, sanity returned. Finn pulled away before things got totally out of hand. “We should stop.”
Confused and very turned on, she asked, “But why?”
Finn was thinking that he wanted her with a passion that stunned him, but he decided that they wouldn’t make love not until they were secure in their futures, meaning her as a Jedi, but also who they were, and where they had come from. It was important to him and Rey in time will realize that as well.
“We have plenty of time to kiss and get closer. There’s no hurry,” he finally replied.
She frowned but she understood. “Alright, we’ll do it your way.”
Meanwhile, Luke and Leia, in her private quarters, talked about Rey and her future, among other things.
“Leia, about Ben and Han,” Luke began, needing to apologize, yet again.
Leia sighed and told him the truth. “Luke, as I said, I don’t blame you for what happened to them. After Ben was sent away, Han and I drifted apart; and yes, we argued about it, whether we should have kept him with us. But he was a powerful Jedi, maybe even more so than our Father, but we couldn’t get through to him and neither could you.”
“I tried so hard to help him, but the Sith had other ideas.” Luke stood up and began to walk. “If only I had done something different, maybe I could have saved him.”
“I’ve thought the same thing.” She paused and thought about the past. “Han was heartbroken about it and I wonder sometimes if,” she hesitated.
“What did you wonder?”
Her eyes filled with tears as she stared at him. “I hated feeling this way and I never told him.”
He could see how upset she was so he came closer. “What, what is it?”
“Maybe just a little, he blamed me for Ben and how strong he was in the Force.”
He clutched her to him tightly. “No, no, Leia, he would never feel that way; never.”
She pulled away and wiped at her eyes. “We just loved him so much but it wasn’t enough.”
“Of course, it was enough and I’ll never believe otherwise, and neither should you,” he told her firmly. Then he thought of Rey. “I won’t lose Rey that way; I won’t.”
“I don’t think you will. Rey is so much like you, Luke; I can feel it.”
He had to smile at that. “You think so?”
“I know so,” Leia replied happy to reassure him in this way.
Luke was still doubtful. “I just hope she doesn’t hate me for deserting her all those years ago.”
Leia didn’t believe that not for a minute and so she told him so.
A few months later:
Communications from undercover informants indicated that the First Order were gathering troops and may be making a move to attack them. It was time to pack up and move the camp.
“Where are we going?” Finn asked Rey, both in a hurry to pack. In her quarters, he was helping her. She wanted to share quarters but Finn thought that wasn’t a good idea.
“The planet is called Endor,” Rey replied. “It was part of the rebellion years ago.”
He frowned, “It’s not covered in snow and ice, is it?”
“No, it’s actually like this planet, green with lots of trees, but,” she hesitated.
He frowned again. “But what?”
He would find out sooner or later. She stopped packing and turned to him. “The indigenous species are no longer there because of … the Republic.”
“I understand,” he said, feeling guilty for some reason.
“Finn, that was a long time ago before you and I were even born,” Rey reminded him.
“This war, or whatever it is, has been going on for far too long. It needs to end.”
“I agree with you, so let’s end it,” Rey told him firmly.
“I’m with you,” he said and smiled.
She smiled in return.
About a week later, they landed on Endor and the Republic outpost and its bunkers and buildings were still there. Rey and Finn both loved it. Still green with trees, water, and the ego system had not changed over the past thirty years. Even the tree houses were there but they were overgrown and no longer sturdy enough for any use.
General Leia had the idea that it would be the last place they would search for them because of their defeat by the hands of the rebellion, years ago. It took a few days to restore the communications and weapons systems. It was outdated but it would be ironic if they could use their own technology against them.
Once settled, Rey headed to see Finn. She knocked on his door. They hadn’t had time to talk in nearly a week. He opened the door and there she stood. His heart did that familiar flip upon seeing her. She had begun to wear her hair down and he liked it a lot.
“Hey, all settled?” She asked and came inside. He held the door open for her, but Poe was there.
“Hi, Rey,” he said and stood up and glanced at Finn sending a silent question.
“Hi, Poe,” she said and looked between them. She crossed her arms. “Alright, what’s up with you two? I know that look.” Watching Finn, she waited.
“We’re leaving in the morning for a special … Ummm … mission,” Finn replied, not looking at her. He glanced at Poe again. Just before Rey had arrived, they had talked about ‘the mission.’ Poe had tried to talk him out of it, but Finn was insistent. In his mind, Rey needed to be away from him so she could decide on her future, meaning her training to become a Jedi. It was her destiny and he didn’t want to stand in the way of that. Poe didn’t think being away from her was the answer, but Finn was determined to leave.
Rey’s heart constricted. “But we just got here. Aren’t we safe for now?”
“We need to find out what’s happening, how close they are, and what they’re planning. There are rumors that the First Order has definitely regrouped and,” Poe hesitated.
“They won’t stop until we stop them,” Rey finished for him. She paced in front of them. “It’s Skywalker they want.”
“Yes, they still want him, and after what happened on StarKiller Base, they’re more determined than ever to find him … and you as well, and now that you’re both here,” Finn reminded her.
“Yes, I know,” she said. Finn and Rey stared at each other.
Poe knew what was up. “I’ll leave you two to talk. I’ll see you in the morning,” he said to Finn.
“Thanks Poe,” he said and shut the door.
“I should go with you to protect you,” Rey said then she went into his arms holding him close.
He clutched her to him tightly. “No, Rey, it’s you and Luke we have to protect. You should stay here out of danger. If you’re caught again, I don’t want to think what would happen to you.”
Her eyes watered. “But what if you’re caught?” She pulled away.
He touched her cheek. “Poe will be there. We make a good team,” he said hoping to reassure her.
“So do we,” she murmured staring at his lips.
“Oh Rey,” he whispered and then he kissed her passionately. She kissed him back loving him so much. She hadn’t told him yet, but now, it seemed like the right time.
His lips flowed across her cheek to her ear. “Rey, I love you and I wanted you to know before, before I leave.”
“Oh, Finn,” she whispered then she kissed his cheek and his throat. “I love you too.”
He pulled away and her eyes spoke to him. “Rey, we’ve talked about this.”
She pulled him close, smiling, “I know.”
“I guess we can cuddle a little like before,” he whispered and locked the door.
Then they were back in each other’s arms, kissing and caressing not being able to get close enough. His fingers flowed through her hair kissing her like a starving man. “Oh, Rey, I need you so much, but we can’t.”
“Just hold me,” she whispered holding him close. “I knew you would be someone special from that first moment we met.”
Amazed she would say that, he asked, “You’re joking right?” He pulled away. “You did almost knock me out or did you forget?” He chuckled.
She chuckled too. “Well, I couldn’t let you get away.” Suddenly serious, she touched his strong jaw softly. “Just kiss me.”
“As you wish,” he whispered. Holding his feelings in check, he kissed her deeply tasting her tears. Minutes later, he snuggled under her chin and pulled her closer not wanting to leave her. “Rey, our paths may cross again or they may not, but we can’t let it stop us from doing what we must do. And then we can decide about us. Say you understand.”
Rey understood but she didn’t want to. She kissed his forehead holding him close. “Us; I like that word.” She paused and tried to be strong. “I understand and I’ll be here when you get back.”
He hoped that was true, but inside he also hoped that she would take up her training, because he knew it was what she wanted and needed. In time, she will accept her destiny as a Jedi, just as she had accepted him. Being apart will be difficult for them, but it was for the best. So he closed his eyes, his faith in them and their future secure, hoping deep inside that they would see each other again.
The next morning, it was time to go. Poe, Chewbacca, and Finn, making last minute preparations for their trip, glanced out the cockpit window and saw Rey, Luke, and Leia standing together.
Poe and Finn glanced at each other. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Yeah, they’re a family, aren’t they,” Finn whispered. He suspected it, but now there it was staring them in the face. More determined than ever to find his own family, he felt the ship lift up into the sky, then they were gone.
Poe watched him for a second. “No, that’s not what I was thinking.” He paused as he stared at him. “Did you tell her the real reason you’re leaving?”
“No, I didn’t,” he replied stiffly. “Everyone knows I’m a wanted man and my being here puts everyone in danger.”
Poe shook his head at him. “She doesn’t care about that.” He paused. “She loves you, Finn. Surely you know that.”
Tears sprang into his eyes, but he didn’t say anything.
Rey stood there, tears streaming down her face and watched the ship until she couldn’t see it anymore. He’s gone; he’s really gone.
Leia and Luke glanced at each other. “He’ll be back; try not to worry,” Leia said. Rey wasn’t so sure.
“Search your feelings, Rey,” Luke told her firmly.
Rey began to trust her instincts. “Yes, he’ll be back.”