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Heine Gets The Talk

By Not_British

Action / Humor

Chapter 1

“Badou, the repressed one is wondering if you ever got laid.”

The so-called repressed one’s red eyes narrowed to glare sharply at him.

“Heine needs to stop reading his dime-store novels, they're a bad influence."

“You're a bad influence.”

“They were only supposed to be a joke.” The red head cajoled.

She glared, highly unconvinced.

“Now, the poor baby is curious and guess who he keeps asking questions ?"  

The baby looked sour faced, willing to commit acts of great violence. Badou was naturally skeptical of the infant terminology.

“ Go on an’ guess.”



“I didn’t know he even talked to you.”

“Why wouldn’t he talk to me?”

“Well, you're...” He trailed off.

“Well...I’m what Mister?”


“Yes, in case you haven't noticed, I distinctly remember you commenting such on more than one occasion.”

“I may or may not have.” He grudgingly admitted hands raised in surrender, sharing a “women” look with Heine, which the white hair chose to steadfastly ignore in favor of his coffee.

 He would receive no help from that quarter.

"Well," she huffed promptingly.

 "Well, what" Badou repeated cautiously

"IF you not going to I am"

"Not going to what?"

She gestured towards Heine " Give him the talk"

"Oh" comprehension dawned "You mean the flowers, bees and the like?"

"Yes!" She said looking miffed.

"I just remembered I have this thing, yeah thing to go do"

"Where? What Thing?!?" Her eyes narrowed

"This thing somewhere else," 

The murder in her gaze and sereneness of her smile increased 

"That can wait till later-" she said

"That can wait till later" he reluctantly amended, drowned his shot and called for the bottle.

"Good," she turned her sights on a puzzled looking Heine "lets get down to businesses than boys, when a man and-"

“So we had a little fun, upstairs, downstairs.”

Her back slammed into the wall atop the poor wooden table that sat beneath a  mirror in the hallway. In retribution for the antique and her spine she punched the mouthy ginger in the arm and sealed the deal with another fierce kiss. Slender fingers yanked her up close by grabbing her ass,  coping a feel in the process of securing a nice firm grip. 

She could hear the distinct rip of stockings filling the air. 

Not that it was hard they already had holes and why was she paying attention to the most obscure things at a time like this. Why  did it matter she hadn't done the laundry yet? Badou certainly didn't care. He was fixated with trying to kiss the breath out of her lips.

There was a sharp tug at her hair too hard to be pleasurable. “You with me." He growled this demon she had invited in. Badou’s eyes were lust mad, but concern touched his iris edges. 

She didn’t have the heart to tell him she was only contemplating when she would find the time to run the next load of dirty dishes stacked up in the sink. When she didn't reply he continued.

He seemed to find the small table space no hindrance to  his primary objective, rendering her senseless. She wasn't some  prized maiden to be ravished in the hallway.

The bed would do.

Or the stairs yes stairs would be fine with what he was doing to her neck. 

But apparently this was not so in the mind of Badou. 

They must have been on the same wavelength for once, so she had thought. 

Till he started to pick her up momentarily pausing  his ministrations in favor of stumbling about blindly to get to the bedroom.  

Obviously feeling that if she were to have any objection she would have voiced it by now. 

They both tripped over the mattress edge. Luckily, she had learned how to fall. Badou’s clumsiness seemed to have all but evaporated in the bedroom. 

Good thing he was confident someone here had to know what they were doing. 

His hair was in shambles, her’s probably was too. Fiery strands dangled elusively from her grasp, tickling her  sensitive cheek as he moved, begging to be yanked. She grasped tightly and pulled. She was rewarded with a low moan and glare.

“It wasn't pretty or well choreographed rather fast actually ”

The room lighting wasn't amazing. She didn’t suddenly get night vision and be able to see every inch of everything.

Discounting Badou there wasn’t much to see.

That's not to say they were fumbling around.

The male part of this equation appeared to have a clear handle about what to do and just how.

Her body was hardly her own anymore. It was ridiculous. She felt silly here embarrassed blushing in the dark.

This school girl wasn't her so she wrapped her legs around his waist tangled her hands further into the auburn mess of hair  and used the other to hold tightly onto one pale shoulder till her nails dug in.

Badou, for his part, didn’t seem to mind. He had spent most his time leaving hard bites and nips about various places, each from which she could sharply feel the sting.

So no it might not have been how every frilly dress imagined her first time.

She bared her teeth harshly against the hurt , it would only be brief, she hoped why else would people do this?  

She latched her mouth down towards his collarbone.

The action incited a noise of pain followed by a deeply satisfied rumble once he was seated.

“But to me it was perfect, it was us.”

She had but a moment's warning before he moved. It is not that he didn't care.

No, he softly ran his hands down her side and would later coax her into a tortuously slow round two or three and gently covered her, would disprove any theory of cruelty

At this moment he was everywhere, his scent, his arms, now caging her in but holding her close.

He didn't warn her because she wouldn't have wanted to be warned. The entire action was messy, teeth clattered together in an impromptu kiss.

Surprisingly, she found herself laughing lightly to his deep chuckle. They couldn't seem to get enough of each other, it was the rush before the kill.

Adrenaline pumped it's way into her veins and she shuddered. Badou's  actions became more rushed and desperate.

He was forceful and rough, she was wicked and wild. She was too lost in everything to even send up a prayer of forgiveness to the neighbors.

And all thoughts were forgotten...

“The morning after was the best part”

The light filtered dimly from the hall into her room.

Her body felt sore in the most delicious way, just right like after a good hunt.

She let out a groan and snuggled deeper into her heated pillow.

When had she forgotten to close the door?

This is such a nice pillow, she thought snuggled deeper.

Then the  pillow moved.

She cracked an eye open confused by the anomaly.

Oh no.

No, no, and no again.

A shock of bright red hair  spilled all around her.

One eye opened, they stared at each other, her spread out over his chest disorientated and him smiling.

It wasn't a smug or cocksure, which won him points.

But, it was definitely pleased as if he had found some winning information to sell.

“Badou...?” She ventured.

“Mhmm?” He answered.

“What,ehm, happened?”

“You don't remember?” He questioned confused.

Oh no, she had a pretty good idea. Those hickeys weren't going to fade anytime soon.

“Fine, I admit  it's obvious. I just needed confirmation, I’m not about to make you pinch me,” He tensed face going blank ” I do remember some, so don't worry you're black heart out about consent.”

He visibly relaxed and leaned back comfortable again. “I’m going to go make some coffee”

Carefully he despite  her protests, moved her off him. 

“Uh, Badou...?”

“What?" He snapped. She concealed a snicker. “You're naked.“ He looked down. “Yeah, well that tends to happen when.. in.. You know what? I'm going to go make coffee now, you minx. “ He declared while snatching up a blanket for covering, likely searching for his lost jeans. If she was thinking correctly, they were ruined from their.... Enthusiastic removal....

She ducked back under the covers. Falling asleep to the comforting sounds of Badou swearing and generally making an uncoordinated racket.

“So, you enjoyed it?” Heine asked finally speaking.

Badou  watched with interest and she, most definitely positively  didn't care if red was creeping up her cheeks.

“Yes, those were the best pancakes and coffee I ever had in my life.”

“Only one question”


“Would you do it again?”

“Yes.” She replied. Faster than she sighted her mark through the rifle scope.

“Good, because I’m a visual learner “ Heine said, his confusion apparent.

Badou dropped his glass and it shattered on the hard floor “Why you shitty!”

She laughed and raised her eyebrows. The white hair widened his eyes “Not like that! Diagrams!"

She could've sworn his ears were tinged pink.

”Only one other question.”

“Enough of the questions!” Badou growled hair fluffing out like a cat that’s tail had just been stepped on to match his frazzled expression..

She didn't pay attention to the enraged redhead whose panties were in a bunch.


"I said.”

“Not you” She shushed set on hearing Heine out.

“Can it work the same way for two women or say, two men?”

“Yes, some of the mechanics are a bit different”  

Heine looked relieved.

“Wait?” Badou started looking somewhat surprised and justified “Are you?”

She and Heine wore matching scowls.

“Ok..." Badou started to rethink his phrasing, “I'm cool with whoever you want to sleep with, it is none of my business I can't judge.”

“I should think not.”

“Hey, give a guy some credit, I didn't think every inch of that night was going to be thrown on the table here and over analyzed!"

“You got laid.” Heine repeated in remnants of earlier “ With her.”

“I thought that was clear wasn’t this what the whole entire thing was about?” He barked out, frustrated.

Heine declined to reply. “So, are you saying if you had known you would of...Maybe put in more effort to a ...Greater performance?” She purred.

Badou calmed down, instantly catching on and  faced her smirking.

“We can always try again third, more like fourth, time's a charm.”

This time, they both ignored Heine's exclamation, it was more of his face morphing into three looks of equal parts amazement, disgust, and surprise that clearly said  “You got laid with her!? More than once?! Three times?!”

Instead of staying to offer their comrade some mind bleach, they grabbed their coats and let the slam of the door be their answer as to what tonight's activities would be.

“Great."  Heine mummerd.

Now, what?

He glanced down the bar as the ding of bells announced a new arrival.

Naoto's stoic face stepped in.

”Whiskey neat." He requested. After another look at Naoto and a moment's thought, a flash of the sword mistress’s cutting blade at work. How her silky black hair framed her exotic face, billowing as she fought.

Without contemplating it any further (because if he did then he wouldn’t do it). Heine being a man of action, not words,  flagged down the bartender and changed his order.

“Two please.”

Noticing him, Naoto veered her path towards the empty stool at his right. She seated herself  and quietly accepted the drink.

Soon, they quietly left together.

They had a lot of people  (time ) to kill and all night to do it.

Anything else could wait till later.

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