The minute Stiles heard the water running he raced to his bed and grabbed his phone.
Me: Dude. Derek-freaking-Hale is in my room. HE’S IN MY SHOWER.
Scott: HE’S BACK?!? why is he in your shower?
Me: Because he’s been on the run for the past three months and he was smelling a bit funky.
Me: Scott, he’s not doing well. Cora’s dead.
Me: Dunno. He doesn’t seem to want to talk about it.
Me: He’s a mess though. He thought you and Isaac wouldn’t want to see him.
Scott: of course we want to see him! Isaac’s been out of his mind worrying about him! he might have fucked up but he’s still Derek. he’s still pack.
Me: I know, I tried to tell him that. I think he’s coming around tho.
Scott: ...so is he staying there tonight?
Scott: ...are you going to tell him?
Me: Tell him wut.
Scott: don’t be stupid Stiles.
Scott: are you going to tell him you like him?
Me: Oh yeah, I think that’d go down really well.
Me: Hey, so I know your sister just died, and we haven’t spoken in months, and when you walked in my room I called you PATHETIC and likened you to a dog with its tail between its legs, but I realized I have feelings for you while you were gone and would you please cuddle with me in my bed and maybe let me buy you breakfast in the morning?
Me: Sounds like a match made in heaven Scotty.
Scott: oh fuck
Scott: a dog, Stiles? tell me you didn’t.
Me: I was upset.
Scott: well, he hasn’t killed you yet, so I’d say go for it. Isaac says so too.
Me: Fuck Isaac is there??
Scott: yeah he woke up when you told me about Cora.
Scott: he heard my pulse go up.
Scott: he’s says go for it, Derek could use a good lay.
Me: Tell Isaac he’s fucking disgusting. DID I MENTION HIS SISTER JUST DIED?!?!?
Scott: people grieve in many different ways Stiles ;)
Scott: that was Isaac. he really wants you to fuck Derek apparently. now he’s nodding furiously because he’s laughing too hard to talk to me.
Me: I’m glad to see this whole Allison thing hasn’t hindered your guys’ ability to mock me in my hour of need.
Scott: believe me, I don’t want to think about you boning Derek any more than I want to think about Isaac boning Allison. but if it’s going to make you happy then you should do it.
Me: You’re forgetting about the whole virgin situation.
Me: And it like seems pretty straight forward with girls, you know, peg in hole type of dealio, but with guys it just seems infinitely more complicated.
Scott: ugh. I just threw up.
Scott: not because you’re bi!
Scott: it’s more the idea of DEREK putting his peg in your hole…
Me: Hey! How do you know it wouldn’t be my peg in Derek’s hole?
Me: Gee, thanks bro
Scott: Isaac says it’s not as complicated as you’d think
Me: ...lmao Isaac??
Scott: lol yup. he also says you could totally be a top.
Me: Hahahaha thanks Isaac!!
Me: I’m gonna work my way up to screwing Derek. You know, lay the foundation. Maybe just tell him I like him without him clawing my face off. See how that goes.
Scott: good luck dude. you’re a braver man than I am. let me know how it goes.
Me: Thanks man, maybe you and Isaac could come over for breakfast tomorrow? I’ll run it by Derek but I think he really does want to see you.
Scott: yeah! we could do that
Me: Oh shit, he’s getting out of the shower. Wish me luck!!!! I’ll text you later
Scott: good luck man!
Scott: be safe!
Scott: don’t let him take advantage of you!
Scott: or bite you!
Scott: my little buddy’s all grown up and finally getting some action. so proud of you bro!
Scott: remember to breathe through your nose!
Scott: that was Isaac again. you’re right, he is fucking disgusting.
Derek walked out of the bathroom looking clean and refreshed in Sheriff Stilinski’s white v-neck and sweats. Stiles tried not to think about his conversation with Scott and Isaac and also tried not to notice the way the shirt clung to Derek’s slightly thinned frame. It was his father’s shirt for God’s sake!
Stiles’s phone buzzed on the nightstand, startling both human and werewolf. Stiles picked it up and saw Scott’s message of encouragement, ‘good luck man!’ He tried uselessly to keep his pulse steady and his blush at bay.
“Is everything okay?” Derek looked genuinely concerned.
“Yeah, I talked to Scott.” Stiles ignored the phone as it kept buzzing obnoxiously, “He and Isaac want to come over for breakfast tomorrow...” he paused when Derek’s look hardened, “...I hope that’s okay.”
“Will I have to tell them what happened to Cora?”
“You don’t have to tell them anything you don’t want to.” Stiles moved toward the bed and straightened the covers before folding one side down, “So I’m going to take the chair. You can have the bed. I promise I just washed the sheets like a few days ago, okay maybe a week ago. And a half. Tops. There might be a little drool on the pillow, but what are you gonna do? I guess you could use the spare instead, do you want to do that?”
“Stiles,” Derek silenced him while Stiles was attempting to force the pillow into Derek’s hands, “I’m not going to take your bed from you.”
“Oh come on, when was the last time you even slept in a bed? You’ve probably been living out of your car for the majority of the time you were gone. I’m not going to exile you to the chair, what am I, heartless?”
“Then share it with me,” Stiles nearly balked but got it under control, “It’s big enough.”
Derek walked over to the far side of the bed and lay down without another word. Stiles shuffled awkwardly around, looking for an escape. When none presented itself he thought, fuck it, and turned off the lamp. He eased his body under the covers, taking care not to touch any part of Derek’s body and trying desperately not think of the words “bone,” “peg,” or “hole.” All he could really think was Derek’s in my bed, Derek’s in my bed, Derek’s in my bed. His brooding, cranky Sourwolf with a heart of gold, here, in his bed. Keep it together Stilinski.