Of Nights


Do you want me?

I'm serious, Mugen.

Shut up. Look at me. Look at me. We can't keep avoiding this, not this way.

What do you think I am? Some little doll? Some innocent child with a soft life ahead of her? How many times must I bleed to prove that I'm like you and not some high-class girl who has never worked for anything in her life?

Stop arguing with me and listen. Listen, you moron.

Do you think I care about what other people will say? Those same people left my family to starve when my father deserted us. Those same people watched callously as a little fourteen year old girl struggled to survive with her dying mother. They laughed because a samurai's daughter had sunk so low, working on her hands and knees just like some common peasant. Do you think I will ever want to share their world again?

I am not afraid. I know what you are, Mugen. You are not respectable, I know, but you have never lied to me about how you live, you have never pretended to be something you aren't. By doing just that, you are more honorable to me than most men. Why must you believe that you worthless in my eyes? Why are you so afraid of me?

You came back for me. You must care, even just a little bit. But still…I can't keep on going along like this if all you want from me is…I..I just can't. I refuse to follow you around like some lost puppy, waiting for you to…ugh, why are you such an idiot Mugen?!

I…I don't expect you to change your life for me. I don't expect a house or riches or nice clothes or even marriage. From what I have seen, those things are all meaningless. I just want…I don't know. I don't know what I want. But you need to know how I feel so you can stop acting stupid and talk to me.

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