For What is Proper
I wonder what my mother would think if she knew. Even until the very end she was still so respectable. What would she say if she saw that I was wandering all over Japan with two desperately violent men? I hope that I can explain to her my reasons. Does she hate me for looking for the man that so long ago left her? I hope she isn't scared for me.
That's one thing that I don't understand. I'm not afraid of them. I should be. I have seen so much death and hurt and pain come from their hands that I should be a screaming terrified mess. How many bodies skewered, how many faces destroyed beyond recognition, how much blood have I seen spurting from broken bodies to taint everything in sight? I should have let Mugen and Jin break their promise to me a long time ago, as soon as I had seen what exactly they are capable of. But I don't. They have become so familiar that the thought of them actually hurting me is laughable. I don't think too many people could understand that. I am sure my mother wouldn't. How could I trust such killers? But I do, I am proud of them.
Ha, and what is worse, what would just rub salt in my mother's wounds if she knew, is that I am in love. And not only am I in love (a serious crime in my mother's eyes for what man's affection had ever been kind to her?) but I love a convict, a man who has killed more people than the years he's been alive and who will never be deemed acceptable in the eyes of society. There is no way that my life will be a respectable and conventional one now. I cannot leave this strange path that I have chosen.
My companions and I live as we must. Whether or not our way is appropriate or even law-abiding is unimportant. The way people are connected in this world, the way we just are, once you get past all the bruises and scars, really is quite beautiful. My only wish is that she understands this
And fortunately, my mother always was one to appreciate beauty.