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5 Ways To Annoy Artemis Fowl

By The_Fourth_Wall

Fantasy / Humor

Chapter 1

1. Cover his study in pink

Fowl Manor, 6:00 a.m.

The winter morning dawned bright and cold: just the way Artemis liked it.

He got up, stretched briefly and briskly walked across the floor of his room towards the bathroom. He turned on the light. The marble floor made his feet feel cold and uncomfortable, so he brushed his teeth as quickly as was possible to obtain proper dental hygiene and rushed out of the room.

On that day, Artemis felt rather excited at the thought of finally finishing his paper on an altogether new process of nuclear fission. It was long due and had been so startlingly obvious that he wondered at the fact that the scientists before him – dumb as they were – had not noticed it.

That said, you could not exactly call Artemis Fowl excited in any circumstances, but today was an exception. Today, he thought, was not a day for loitering. Today was a day for work.

He slipped out of his bedroom and into the hallway, closing the door behind him as he went. He gave a brief nod to Butler, who was just coming back from his daily training session. Soon, he came to stand before the familiar door of his study. And he froze.

In normal circumstances, he would have come face to face with a tarnished bronze doorknob and a stout oak door with a name plate bearing the words: Study of Artemis Fowl II. When he was younger, it had been his father’s, but when his father went missing, he had used it for his own devious purposes. And when Artemis Fowl I came back, he had relinquished the study to his son, drawing up another room for his use. Thus the name plate.

Apparently, these were not normal circumstances.

The door, as well as the knob, had been painted pink: his least favorite color. It was an annoying color. It was the bane of his existence. And it was left slightly ajar.

Nevertheless, he decided to brave the door. After completing his paper, he would sue (and needless to say, terrorize) whoever was responsible for the prank.

He stepped into his study. And was amazed, angry and not-so-astonished (given the door) to see the entire place draped in pink.

Pink walls. Pink ceiling. Pink fake fur covered floor. Pink painted desk. And worse, but not worst, pink laptop covers.

But he had less then a second to appreciate this cerise-colored magnificence. For from the top of the door, when he walked into the place, a bucket tumbled down onto his head, covering him from head to toe in pink dye.

His mind sprung into calculation mode, whipping out various possibilities. And in a matter of microseconds, he came to a conclusion.

There were only four people in the world with the resources, finesse and knowledge to accomplish something like this. The initial thought was Opal Koboi, but firstly, she was in a maximum security fairy prison. And secondly, this wasn’t her style.

The next was Butler, but he would never do something like this.

Third was Juliet, who would have been more than happy to do it, but she was out of town…

This left only one person.

“HOLLY SHORT! YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS!”

Haven, Police Plaza, OP Booth, 11:00 a.m. F.S.T. (Fairy Standard Time)

Holly, Foaly and Mulch gave each other high fives. “Mission accomplished!” exclaimed Mulch gleefully.


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genlynne2379: I read the other review of this book and I must say that I disagree with it wholeheartedly. I do not believe the author put the apostrophes in the names just to be unique, but because the characters are supposedly of a different race than humans. They are Anmah. They should have different names a...

Olivia N J Hamel: I want this book. I love it so much. It is so enjoyable to read and to have a copy of this always, I would be very happy, to always be able to come back and look at it again.

anjalichaudhary777: I am a kind of a person who don't prefer t read books... No matter what I just can't read.... The application I have got its amazing through which I got to read this amazing book.... It keeps you interested and go on.... I felt it amazing. This book helped me to start reading. Talk about th story...

Bri Hoffer: I couldn't put it down!! The characters are all incredibly likable, and it's so descriptive you can see, smell, and feel thier surroundings. Great story, and very well written. I cannot wait for follow up stories. there were a few grammatical errors, but nothing that I could move right over.

ernbelle: When I first started this story I was a little unsettled by all of the information that appears in the prologue, and wasn't sure if I would continue. However, I am very glad I did. The plot was very well thought out and really interesting. There were not any page breaks or markers to acknowledge ...

Kasei Bulloch: At the beginning I wasn't very into the story but I kept reading and was more hooked than I was with Battle of the Wills. All of a sudden I had devoured chapter after chapter then the book was over. I am dying for The Compact. Please help a girl out!

Felisa Yoder Osburn: I really enjoyed the story. Civil War stories are some of my favorites and the intertwining of the past with current times was wonderful. I look forward to reading the next stories.

catd69: Karim is a very talented writer. When I started reading his journey it took me into the book and I was in the story till the end. I've never felt this way with any other writers stories. If you want to read a gripping adventure, this will be the one book I would suggest you pick.

Lorena Boothe: A few paragraphs in and I was immersed into a new world.I wasn't expecting that at all.I thought it might take a few more chapters for sure. Did I keep reading?You bet I did.I lost track of time until I had devoured this tale.Fun characters, awesome plot and lovely language. All I ever want in a ...

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jessiehs: This book had me hooked from the very beginning. To be honest, I wasn't sure I would like it based on the description, but I was very wrong. The way he overcame all of his childhood challenges and managed to help others was great. There were so many times the story had me on the edge of my seat. ...

Dina Husseini: It was a good read. I love stories on fantasy and this story kept me hooked on it. If you like the genre fantasy this is a good story to read.

Hudson: Your story was fantastic Erin! The Rising Sun was one of the first stories I read on Inkitt, and I have to say I don't regret the three to four days I spent pouring through the story.Probably the biggest strength I see in your writing is your characterisation of Eliana, Oriens, and the rest of th...

cristalyn enriquez: I love the plot of the story and the way how the author describe each character,especialy Elias he's so hot!. I've red this story 4 times and I never get tired of it😊. but I think you must practice your grammar and avoid using the same word over and over. like the word "wonder",because it's an...

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