Letters From Afar
Dear Whoever Cares,
No reply will come to this...that I'm sure of...these are the thoughts of a lost soul who will always and forever be alone. I'm so tired of no one paying attention to me. The only time anyone even speaks to me is to ask me to do their homework for them.
I know I'm hideous to look at, but not even the ugliest boy in school will pay me any attention. I just don't understand, why I can't be seen as fun, why can't someone admire my intelligence instead of making fun it.
One day I suppose as my mother says, boys will take notice. But honestly I don't know if I'm willing to wait. I must sound terribly desperate for attention, affection or needy or whatever. But I don't care how I sound.
I'm so tired of standing in neon orange clothing and no one seeing me. I'm tired of being a wallflower an outcast until it's convenient for them to notice me. I want to be admired, adored, and loved; by someone who respects me for who I am not who they want me to be.
I just want to be me...
But I guess it's only a dream. I guess I will have to change me. I guess I will have to sacrifice everything I believe just so someone anyone will have me...I hate being alone and I will do what I have too in order to find that someone, anyone who will have me.
But I still just want to be me...
Hermione gave the letter to the owl, told it to take it to someone who cares. She didn't care anymore. She turned her back to the owls. Not watching the path the owl took. She made her way back into the castle seeking her refuge in the library. Her books loved her that she would always know.
Meanwhile...Severus was standing in the Astronomy tower, his isolation carrying over even from after the war. It wouldn't be so bad if the snake hadn't damaged his voice box. His inability to speak created the need for an assistant. His assistant was a complete idiot in class. This would be his last year teaching. He only accepted Minerva's offer so his neck could heal properly. And his neck was healed. He was ready to go. Tomorrow was graduation and he would say good bye forever to Hogwarts.
He caught a glimpse of one of the barn owls from the owlery coming towards him. It swooped down and dropped the letter into his hands. He watched the owl swoop back out into the sky. After the owl was out of sight his eyes dropped to the letter in his hands.
Peculiar he thought this letter was addressed to no one, completely blank on the front. He opened the letter and began to read. At first he thought about the self-pity this PERSON was displaying. It was absolutely appalling. The further he read the more disgusted he was he certainly hoped they signed their name.
In the last few paragraphs he finally realized they had put to paper exactly how he was feeling only moments ago. He was so isolated. H.G., surely this wasn't Hermione Granger? It was the only H.G. he could think of...perhaps a reply would be appropriate.
He made his way back to his office. Pulling out a piece of parchment he began to write his letter to H.G.
I suppose you can see that someone is replying to your letter. I am however, most certainly the last person on the planet you would probably want to write you back. If your initials are any indication of whom you really are.
You're letter….as depressing as it was to read...oddly struck a chord with my inner thoughts. I've never expressed myself in such a manner as you so eloquently done in your letter. But I find myself strangely drawn to your words.
I nearly always keep my emotions bottled up inside. Presenting myself with the same stern facade for most of my life, hiding behind a mask so impenetrable that no one could ever come close to seeing the real me, the lost soul behind the dark stormy clouds racing across the sky.
So as you can see. I do know how you feel. And if you are who I think you are...your intelligence is the loveliest trait I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Your beauty can shine for miles and brighten the stormiest of days.
Someone who cares
Hermione had been sitting in her favorite chair in the library. Madam Prince was walking towards her to shoo her away. Hermione went ahead and gathered up her things and began walking out of the library.
She took her time walking back to Gryffindor tower. Not really wanting to be there. In fact, she hated being in there. Since the end of the war no one seemed to have time for her friendship or just her. Even Harry wanted nothing to do with her, and honestly that hurt her most of all. Not even Ron and Luna making out right in front of her could hurt her feelings anymore.
She somehow ended up at the front gates. Tomorrow was graduation; her time at Hogwarts was over. She sat down on the outside of the castle trying to remember the good times. She knew she should be celebrating. Graduating top of the class with the highest grade average in history should have gave her something to be happy about. But no, she was broken; her heart was severed when Ron told her their kiss was a mistake. She was utterly shattered when everyone drifted away from her after that, it seems her depressions worsen.
Hermione looked up from her lap at the dark sky, screaming silently at the Gods above. She wanted a sign any sign that there was someone meant for her.
With that thought and silent tears a black owl came into her view, dropping a letter in front of her crossed legs onto the stone walkway. Her initials H.G. on the front of the envelope in small spikey handwriting.
Curiously opening the letter she quickly read its contents. Her eyes getting larger with each word she read, tears escaping her eyes. Focusing on the compliments paid to her she drastically searched for a name. But no one signed their name, a trick of fate. They were too ashamed to put their name on the letter.
She quickly rummaged through her bag pulling out parchment and a pen.
Dear someone who cares,
I never imagined anyone writing back to my letter. I am curious why you think you know who I am simply from two initials. It could be any number of persons. However, I am grateful to know that someone out there truly does care and knows how I feel.
I have to ask even though I know you won't tell me...Who are you? I am curious I won't lie. Without knowing my real name or knowing who you think I am I can't say thank you for the compliments. But in the hope that you do know who I am, thank you. That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Curious to know you,
After writing her letter and folding it back up she looked around for the owl that had dropped off the letter. Luckily it had perched on the stone wall sitting beside her, reaching up the letter towards the owl it swooped down and picked up the letter out of her hand. Curious it must have been instructed to wait for a reply.
Hermione sat back down. She decided to stay here for a little while just in case the owl was instructed to bring another letter.
Severus had made his way back up to the astronomy tower after sending off his letter. It was hard to wonder what the girl's response would be, but he could only hope it would be a good response. After only a few minutes wait his bird returned dropping a letter into his hand and taking his perch beside the potions master on the rail.
Severus eyed the letter cautiously. Fearful of the contents it so obviously held. He opened the letter and began to smirk as he read. She wanted to know who he was...that was a surprise. Feeling that revealing himself this soon was a bad idea he decided to reveal her name. Pulling out the writing supplies he had brought with him, he proceeded to make himself comfortable and tease the mind off one Hermione Granger.
My Dearest Hermione,
Don't be shocked that I so easily deciphered your identity from your previous letters. It was quite simple really. Based on the nature of your friendships this year, said friends leaving you alone more than all previous years to your confines of the library. Your ability to complete, not only your homework, but also the work of others while they are rendezvousing in various dark corners if the castle, and your inquisitive nature/curiosity.
The only thing that threw me off a tad was your neediness. Your desperation to the point where you would be willing to change the very fiber of your being. I don't believe that to be in the will of the Hermione Granger I've come to know.
The Hermione Granger I have come to know would never concede her intelligence to win the heart of some babbling idiot. The Hermione I know needs a man who can appreciate her intelligence as well as the elegant beauty that she had blossomed into. The boys in this school are blind and only a fool would pass up a chance at such an intriguing young woman such as you.
As for me, I am no one, a man who stands in the shadows. My looks are far from attractive and my personality, well, let's just say it's an acquired taste. My intelligence and loyalty is by far my only winning traits. I wish I could tell you who I am. But, the shear mockery would be too much to tolerate from possibly you and your friends.
Someone who cares
Confident with his letter Severus gave it to his owl and sent it off to find her once more. Perhaps this may be the beginning of something new and wonderful. He sat on the edge of the Astronomy tower dangling his feet over the ledge. His life had been hell up to this point. He only wanted something that could make him happy, and he seen nothing wrong with that.
Hermione was leaned back on her elbows legs stretched out in front with her feet casually crossed. She was staring up at the sky admiring the stars. There was not a better way to sort out her life's priorities. She thought about years past and the dependence everyone had on her, Harry and Ron.
Compared to this year the years had never happen. How did she come to the place where she now sits? How did she become this insecure girl? This girl who was willing to change who she loved being. Hermione felt a surge of independence. She needed no man to make her happy.
She did not want a false sense of security with empty compliments or empty admirations from someone who doesn't love her for who she is. The weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders. As she stood and bent over to dust her pants off another letter dropped at her feet.
She opened the letter and read the spikey familiar handwriting. She let a gasp escape her lips. How on Earth did he guess who she was so quickly? From two simple letters? Humiliation laced her mind and she dropped the letter and fell to the ground. Who could this be? Would they tell everyone about her weakest moment?
She grabbed the letter back up and read past the first line discovering the sounds of true admiration. The real Hermione she knew, she was, and this man had put to paper. How did he know this much about her?
He sounded more lonesome than she could have ever imagined herself feeling. She wanted to know who this was. She needed to know who this was. This man would appreciate who she was and maybe even someday love her for who she was.
Dear Someone Who Cares,
I couldn't agree with you more. As I sit here and gaze at the stars I have come to find that you are exactly right. I should not settle for someone that will never appreciate who I am. Someone that will never appreciate my desire to learn or read. I should never settle for anyone less than what my heart desires.
I find myself wondering if you could be that man. Could you care for me lovingly? Could you appreciate who I truly am and not what you want me to be? Would you be capable of sitting together in front of the fire reading a book without uttering a single word?
I know you're worried that I would not be capable of not passing judgment on you based off of whatever history you and I may have. But, I honestly want you to know I don't care who you are. You could be a troll for all I care. But if you could see yourself with me, loving me, caring for me, encouraging me or always being there for me then why don't we met, now, tonight?
I will be waiting for your response. Please say yes.
She rolled up the parchment and gave it to the owl. With a deep breath and a prayer to the heavens above she could meet him tonight. She sat back down and waited for his reply.
Severus gave a small grin with his owl showed back up with her letter. She wanted to meet him! Oh Gods what was he going to do! Maybe this wasn't so bad she said she would accept a troll…..and he had to admit he was a bit better looking than a troll.
He pulled out his parchment and wrote down a quick note and gave it to the owl. As the owl flew off he started pacing. This was a very… very… very bad idea, very bad indeed.
Hermione watched the skies for the owl quite impatiently. Dear Merlin he's not going to write back! But after what seemed to be an eternity the owl swooped down in front of her and flew back off into the sky after dropping the letter.
She held the letter tightly in her hands. She couldn't even imagine what could possibly be on this letter. She quickly opens the letter and could not believe what it said.
My Dearest Hermione,
I am on the Astronomy Tower.
Someone Who Cares
Hermione could not believe her eyes. She raced through the halls of Hogwarts trying her best to get to the Astronomy Tower as fast as possible. Her feet could not carry her fast enough. She ran in sheer desperation to reach her someone who cares.
As she reached the stairs of the tower she looked up wondering just who he could be. Would he be appalled to see her as she walked up the stairs? Would he embrace her in a gentle hug? Or would he tell her to leave she was no longer acceptable?
She slowly made her way up the stairs. When she came to the top of the stairs her eyes could not believe what she saw. She saw a dark man, all in black with his back to her, his black hair falling down on his shoulders, with a gentle wind blowing it out behind him. Her someone who cares was someone she would never expect, Professors Snape.
Severus turned to look at her with a solemn look on his face. Deep lines of anguish ran down his face and skin. His brow furrowed knowing that she was going to reject him as soon as she saw him. He was surprised when she approached him and ran her finger across his cheek and down his face.
"I never would have imagined that my, someone who cares would be you. Do you really care about me as it sounded in your letters?"
He ran his hands around her back and pulled her into a warm embrace. She knew from that moment on he would always hold her in this tight embrace. This embrace said so much, he cared, he wasn't going anywhere, and he would always protect her and encourage her.
She pulled back and looked up into his eyes. This was going to be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.