Chapter 40

"Any luck?" River asked as Rain exited Jet's room.

She couldn't speak, though. Right now, she felt as if a single word would cause her to break down. She was so close to this already. So instead, all she could do was give a slight shake of her head before taking off at a run down the deserted halls of the TARDIS, tears streaming from her eyes as she did so.

Her mind was still frozen to the moment when Jet had spoken the word, "No." That one word kept turning itself over and over in her mind, making it impossible to think of anything else. It was by an act of subconscious that she found her way to her room and threw herself onto the bed after slamming the door behind her.

Somewhere, a little voice in her head was telling her that she should keep calm and deal with this logically. But that little voice was drowned out by the louder ones that were screaming that all her efforts had been worthless. After an entire night of brainstorming, all it took was a few minutes for everything to fall through.

She was vaguely aware of footsteps and worried voices coming from outside her door, but she had neither the strength nor willpower to register what they were saying. Their words didn't matter. Not unless they could fix this.

River watched with sympathy as her daughter ran off down the corridor to her room. She hated seeing Rain like this, but there was absolutely nothing she could do. Not even the Doctor knew how to solve this. Sighing, she turned around to meet him in the console room.

The Doctor wasn't swirling around the console or pressing buttons as usual, though. He was simply sitting in the captain's chair with his arms and legs crossed. River recognized the expression on his face immediately. "Doctor, you can't possibly be blaming yourself for something like this."

His eyes—which had previously been staring intently at nothing in particular—snapped up at her. Instinctively, he was about to get into another long argument about why this was entirely his fault, as usual. However, arguing was the last thing he felt like doing right now. "I know," he said resignedly, rubbing his hands over his face. "I just wish there was some way I could help."

River couldn't help but look over in the direction Rain had gone, as if to make sure she wasn't standing there. Just in case, she lowered her voice as she spoke. "This time, my love, I'm afraid there's nothing you can do."

If there was one thing the Doctor hated hearing, it was that he had been too late or unable to save someone. River's words—though they were meant to comfort him—seemed only to increase his determination. "Where is she?"

River hesitated for a moment, unsure of whether or not she should answer. "She's in her room, but I don't think you should-"

He was running down the corridors before she had a chance to finish. Skidding to a halt outside her door, he began shouting instructions at her, not daring to enter. "Rain! Rain, listen to me! Look, I know you're upset, but you have to stay calm and do as I say. You were right. All you need to do is get him to remember. Those memories aren't lost as long as you can reach them. There must be something big and important and emotional that you can tell him. You can bring back his memory, but you have to make him remember!"

Somehow, this last sentence the Doctor shouted through the door seemed to catch Rain's attention. ". . . You have to make him remember." Her subconscious worked to bring her pieces of all that the Doctor had just said. Something big and important and emotional. Now these words took their turn swarming her mind like a nest of wasps.

The last thing Rain wanted to do was raise her hopes again, only to have them shot down . . . again. But something in the Doctor's voice compelled her. Before she had fully made her decision, she began to slowly descend from the bed, walking to the door that now seemed miles away. Cautiously, she opened it to see the Doctor standing there in front of her, worry written on his face.

For a second, they just stood there reading the other's expression. Finally, though, the Doctor stepped aside and, nodding, whispered, "Good luck."

Rain moved like a zombie to Jet's room, each step seeming as though it was in slow motion. As she advanced toward her destination, she began to consider what the Doctor had said: Something big and important and emotional. It had seemed like such a brilliant idea at the time, but now she wasn't sure if she even knew the right words to say. After all, she had already told him that they were married and that he had died.

Thinking about this seemed to speed up the trip to his room, as she had now arrived. After taking a deep breath to keep calm, Rain opened the door to see Jet sitting in the same place he had been when she'd come to visit him earlier. Now, though, he appeared to have tear stains on his cheeks.

She sat down and prepared to speak, but he beat her to it. "Look, I know how upset you are, but I just can't remember. I'm sorry. I wish I could, I really do. If you're willing to take me with you, I promise we can start from scratch. I don't care how long it takes."

Jet's words shocked her so much that she almost decided to give up. He was willing to start from scratch. She considered this for a moment but no longer, as a thought suddenly pushed itself to the front of her mind. Of course! Why had she not remembered this sooner? The Doctor had said to say something big and important and emotional. Now she found herself with the perfect confession. She wasn't quite sure if it would work or not, but she had to try. If it didn't, she told herself, then she would just give in and start from scratch like Jet had suggested.

He was still staring intently at her as he waited for a reply. "Jet," she started, closing her eyes just in case she wasn't able to face his reaction, "I'm pregnant."

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