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Galion the Elven King

By LadyLindariel

Humor

Galion the Elven King

It was late in the evening, and inside the Elven king's halls, an unfortunate incident had just occurred. How could such a thing happen? Why did it happen? No one really knows. Perhaps Galion just wasn't watching where he was going, perhaps he was tired, perhaps the king just worked poor Galion too hard, or maybe, just maybe, Galion got sick of being more of a slave instead of a butler and caused his mishap to get out of working. Well, whatever the reason it happened, it might be for the better.

How could it be for the better you ask? Just wait and see.

"GALION!" Thranduil bellowed, causing the poor ellon to jump slightly.

"Yes, your majesty?" Galion asked, trying not to sound irritated. This was now the seventh time in the past hour that Thranduil had bellowed for him. First, it was because he was hungry, then it was for him to read a book to him because he was bored, then he wanted the pillows on his royal throne fluffed, then- just for fun- he wanted Galion to fan him, and the last two times he wanted some of his special Dorwinion wine.

So, sufficient to say, Galion was just about fed up with serving the king, and was about ready to move to Imladris, as he had heard from Lindir that Lord Elrond treated his staff much better. It was even rumored he gave them holidays!

"I want more wine! Hurry it up and don't spill it on the way here like you did last time!"

Galion clenched his jaw tightly. "Yes, sire," he replied with much restraint, and proceeded to fill Thranduil's glass with the last of the wine. As he was walking up the stairs, he failed to see a bit of wine that he had spilled during the previous trip upwards.

Then a very unfortunate incident occurred.

Galion slipped on the wine, the jug flying from his hands and fell to the floor with a loud crash as he tumbled down the stairs, the horrible sound of bones snapping filling the air. The king was horrified. Slowly he got stood to his feet to see the extent of the damage. As he approached Galion, he noticed the spilled wine all over the floor. He was not impressed.

"MY WINE! LOOK WHAT YOU DID, YOU BUMBLING FOOL!" Thranduil hollered. When he didn't hear any response he frowned. He came closer and knelt beside the still elf, gently shaking his butler's shoulder. "Galion, are you dead?" At that he heard a groan and the butler moves his head slightly.

Galion woke and went to sit up, but upon moving, he felt an excruciating pain in both his legs. As he looked down, he was met with a gruesome sight. One leg was bent at an angle that he was quite sure was not supposed to be possible, and his other leg was snapped. He screamed.

"MY LEGS! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY LEGS!"

Thranduil was shocked. He could not believe that Galion was blaming him for this! "Me!? How is this my fault? You're the one who slipped and fell, not me!"

Thranduil could have sworn he heard Galion growl at him. "If youhadn't made me wait on you all night, this never would have happened!"

Thranduil just stared at him with his mouth hanging open like a fish. When he had regained his regal composure, he said, "Be that as it may… if you had been paying attention to where you were walking, and hadn't spilled the wine earlier, you wouldn't have slipped. So, I ask you again, how is this my fault?"

Galion finally snapped.

"THAT'S IT! I QUIT! I'm tired of your constant nagging and ordering me around. It's always; 'Galion, bring me this! Galion bring me that! Galion, bring me wine! Galion bring me food! Galion, Galion, Galion!' I've had it! As soon as my legs are healed, I'm turning in my resignation and moving to Imladris. I hear that Lord Elrond treats his staff with respect and gratitude and even gives them holidays!"

Thranduil was shocked. Never before had anyone dared to talk to him in such a manner before! He was Thranduil the Great! If Galion quit, it would cause an uproar and then he'd have staff walking out on him left, right and centre. Besides, with Galion gone, who would serve him his wine? He knew he had to act quickly.

"Galion, I'm sorry. Please don't go. How can I fix this? I'll do anything, just name it." He couldn't believe that he had been forced to begging, but what choice did he have?

At that Galion's head snapped up. "Anything?" There was something in his eyes that the king did not like the look of, but what choice did he have?

Thranduil sighed, "Anything."

A huge smile, that almost looked evil, formed on the butler's face, "Fine, I want to be the king, and you will be my butler until I am no longer incapacitated."

"WHAT?" Thranduil jumped up as if he had been slapped. "Forget it! There is no way that I will stoop to being anyone's butler, or giving you my crown!"

"Fine. Guards!" Soon guards came in and looked at the sight before them. "I want you to pack my things immediately, and first thing in the morning, I want to be transferred over to Rivendell."

The guards were confused and looked at the king for instructions.

"FINE, you can be king until you are healed, and I will wait on you, but that is all. You will not have any other power but to have me wait on you." Thranduil couldn't believe this was happening. He was praying that this was a nightmare and that he would soon wake up to see Galion standing beside him with a large glass of strong wine.

"Excellent, now there are other matters that need to be discussed… such as my working conditions." Galion was so thrilled that he was already making plans as to what he would have Thranduil, his new butler, do for him.

"What working conditions?" Thranduil was almost afraid to ask what Galion had in mind.

"First off, I want to have every Sunday, Tuesday and Thursday off. Feren can fill in for me on those days. Secondly, I want a five percent pay raise and at least a two week vacation, three times a year. Finally, my duties as your butler are to only involve serving you wine, bringing you food, and other such jobs that pertain to butlers. I will not fan you, fluff your throne pillows, or entertain you if you are bored. Find someone else to do that for you. If you agree to those terms, then I will stay. If not, then you can find another butler. Do we have a deal?" Galion was staring Thranduil down, hoping to look brave.

Thranduil was about to tell him to take a flying leap into Mount Doom, but stopped himself, as he knew Galion would quit, and he couldn't afford to find another butler. Good help was so hard to find nowadays.

"Very well, is that all?"

Galion grinned; he was going to add some other stipulations, but decided against it, as he didn't want to press his luck. "Yes, that is all, and I want this all put on paper and signed so that you don't go back on your words."

Thranduil forced himself to remain calm,"The nerve of this pompous windbag,"he thought to himself. "Fine, I will have the contract written up and signed this evening. Anything else?"

"Now that you mention it… yes, while you are waiting on me, I want you to refer to me as your majesty." This is just too much fun, Galion thought gleefully. He had the king right where he wanted him.

"Fine, and that's it, you're starting to press your luck." Thranduil then commanded his guards to take Galion to his rooms to be tended to by the healers.

After the healers arrived, it was determined that Galion would be bed ridden for at least eight weeks.

"EIGHT WEEKS?" Thranduil exclaimed, "Whatever happened to fast healing abilities of the elves?!" He swore the Valar were against him this day.

"Well, his right leg was broken in three places and bent in a way that legs were not created to be bent, sire. Those kinds of breaks take longer to heal, even for elves," the healers were trying not to anger their king any more than he already was. Galion, however, was enjoying this far too much.

"Very well, you may leave now." Thranduil felt like hitting his head off the wall hard, until he was unconscious.

"Yes sire." The healers bowed and left.

"I bet you are just getting a kick out of this aren't you?" Thranduil said shooting daggers at his butler-turned-temporary-king.

"More than you will ever know, Thranduil," Galion said with a huge smirk. "Okay, first thing I want you to do is to bring me some grapes and the biggest bottle of Dorwinion wine you have, then, after you pour me my wine, I want a foot rub so that the blood keeps flowing… after that, I want a sponge bath." Galion was trying so hard not to laugh at the horrified look on Thranduil's face at the mention of a sponge bath.

Thranduil had to force himself not to throttle Galion. "As you wish, your majesty," Thranduil said through gritted teeth and left to go get the required items.

Upon his return, Galion put down the book he was reading and smiled. "Ah, very good. Now for the wine and grapes, and then start on my foot rub."

"Yes, your majesty," Thranduil desperately wanted to throw Galion in the dungeons, but forced himself to do as he was told. When he had poured the wine and had given him the grapes, he proceeded to rub Galion's feet with the special oils that were used on his own feet. After he was done, he then gave him a sponge bath. Never before had Thranduil been so humiliated.

"Is there anything else I can do for you, sire?" Thranduil asked as respectfully as he could.

"Yes, my pillows need fluffing and then I would like you to read me a book," Galion replied, biting a fingernail.

Thranduil fluffed his pillows- a little too roughly perhaps- and then read Galion the requested book. Afterwards, Galion told him that he was dismissed for the night.

Well, needless to say, this went on for the entire eight weeks.

Word naturally got around, and soon, Thranduil was known as Thranduil the Butler and Galion was known as Galion the Elven king, and when the elves found out about Galion's new working conditions, they all began to line up with demands of their own. Thranduil had no choice but to change the way he ran things, because threats were brewing for a strike if he didn't and he couldn't afford that!

At the end of the eight weeks, Thranduil had finally realized just how hard Galion worked, and he began to have respect for Galion and see the butler in a new light. Thranduil had learned a valuable lesson on how to treat his royal subjects, and some would say that he actually was much kinder. Thranduil, of course, would deny any of that altogether.

Galion remained as his butler, and his job was a lot less stressful. He was careful not to make any more spills, and had stopped carrying wine upstairs in goblets. Every so often, Galion will be heard mimicking the king, and Thranduil will be seen covering his face in horror at the memories of his horrible ordeal as Thranduil the Butler.

This was my first attempt at writing a Galion/Thranduil story so I hope I did the poor ellon justice. Please leave reviews or Galion will make you give him foot rubs and sponge baths! }:)

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, LadyLindariel
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