You smiled at me. I didn’t understand. Were you smiling at the person behind me? But, there was no one but me in this place. At this hour. Hogwarts was still with its silence. No one but me here, yet you smile at me like a dream in the daylight.
“Hey, Granger,” you laughed lightly, with undertone of mischief, “wanna hear a secret?”
I didn’t understand you, but I knew your pranks. So, I listen carefully. Spreading awareness. Beware of this sly snake. I narrowed my eyes.
Then you said,
“I love you silly.”
I didn’t understand you, but I knew you hated my gut. So I could be careless with your light confession. I didn’t need your lie or to even believe it.
“No joke, Malfoy. It is past night time. I suggest you return to your dorm now,” I slipped demand in my voice. You should obey me. I was a prefect after all. “And five points from Slytherin.”
You barely hid an amused smile in your lips. “So serious, Granger. Why? Scared being alone here with me?”
I gritted my teeth, not happy at all with your taunting. You smirked.
“I have told you my feeling.”
I heard your voice among the whisper of chilling wind. You said something related to feelings, but do you have one?
Your smile was devoid of love. Yet you said,
“Your turn, Granger. Tell me, say it:
‘I love you too, Malfoy.’”
Did you remember the sting of bee you hated very much? You told me, whispering into my ears about the story of your childhood. In the dim light of autumn shower in the library. The patter of rain on the window was unexpectedly soothing. You closed your eyes and started talking as if I was a willing listener for your story.
You smiled, but I didn’t. I frowned. I wanted to leave but the book in my hand was too interesting. And I didn’t want to be shied away by your annoying intrusion. I wanted you to go away, found another place and another person to annoy. But I knew what your argument was.
“You are my girlfriend. I want to annoy you, and only you.”
I grumbled, but you kept talking like nothing happened. I was tired with your constant bothersome acts. You pushed your way onto my life and began to mess it up one after one component. Since when did you start liking me anyway? You give me no answer. Instead you smirked smugly,
“Why? Fall for me already? Ah wait, you already fall for me, right?”
I found it extremely annoying.
Then you said, “I know a nice place to read.” You grabbed my hand without my consent and dragged me out of the library. I didn’t know how come Madam Pince didn’t realize our little commotion. You were confident with your steps, ignoring my angry fuss and hiss.
Where did everyone go? Hallway was empty. Every place we passed was unexpectedly empty.
Where did everyone go?
You halted, spreading your arms suddenly. You exclaimed in pleasure, “I love this place! You have to love it too!”
Did you remember the sting of bee you hated very much? You said you cried for weeks and promised to yourself to never be near any flowerbed again. Yet you brought me here. In your hidden utopia. Full of little flowers. Tiny petals in various colors. The familiar buzzing of bees. They flew from one flower to another.
You faced me with your smirk. Beckoning me with sweet words. I hesitated. You said not to worry. Nothing to worry. You laughed lightly and pulled my free hand suddenly.
Did you remember the sting of bee you hated very much? I felt it and cried for help.
But you looked up to the sky.
Smiling as if nothing happened to me.
I came onto consciousness by the sound of Harry’s tired voice. Ron was also there. His eyes were sunken and he looked pale. They said I was out for almost 3 days with high fever. They found me unconscious on the yellowish grass not too far from the Willow tree. I didn’t know why I was there in the first place.
Where was Malfoy? He took me to some flowerbeds and fed me to bees’ sting. It was painful.
It should be only bees’ stings, but Madam Pomfrey stated it wasn’t. It was not because of the bees. The symptoms were different and unusual. It was like a charm. Or maybe some unknown diseases. Or curse.
I was sure it was bee. It should be.
Where was Malfoy? I didn’t dare to ask. My friends didn’t fancy Slytherin after all.
Then along the flow of time, in the wavering sunlight from the window, your voice echoed like a dream.
“You face is lovely,” you said.
It was the second time I woke up in the Hospital Wing. Dimly I was aware of clinking noise Madam Pomfrey made somewhere in the room. I slowly looked to the side.
“Your face is lovely.”
I frowned in distaste. “What are you doing here?”
“Watch over my girlfriend, of course,” you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then you made a lop-sided grin. “I don’t want anyone snatch you away.”
I scoffed. You really were a fly, bothering people when no one wants to have business with it. I sighed and turn away from your smirk. “Hey, hey, what is that?”
I grimly close my lips. Fluttering my eyelashes and pretended to be asleep. But you were a fly and you flew over, bothering people.
“Are you angry, Granger?”
“You know that!” I snapped, “you pulled my hand! I clearly didn’t want to, but you force me!”
You blinked, surprised.
I hissed. “You want me to die that bad, Malfoy?”
Your face, for the first time, contorted into something like you were in pain and trying to hide it. “But,” you inhaled, “I love you, Granger…”
I shouted angrily. “What does it have to do with your trying to kill me with bees exactly! ?” I panted as I force red blush from showing on my cheeks.
I turn away to the other side. “Go away, Malfoy.”
I didn’t hear the sound of your leaving. I was afraid of what kind of expression I might find if I decided to glance at you.
Instead, your pained face flashed in my mind.
Madam Pomfrey smiled apologetically. “I hear your voice. What happened?”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I am.”
Madam Pomfrey took time to check on me, before leaving after pull the curtain in place.
I stared at the white ceiling. It reminded me of you.
White, so white.
I closed my eyes.
Your pained face flashed in my mind.
“I love you silly.”
You were whispering into my ear. Serenely with half-lidded grey eyes and faint smile on your lips. Translucent skin of your hands around my shoulder. I felt something possessive in your gesture, but I said nothing. I closed my lips, swallowed my words, and just stared at your reflection on the window. The glass was so clear. It reflected your face perfectly.
I saw the red of sunset on your white hair. On your grey eyes that staring straight at my eyes when you looked at the glass.
“I’m sorry. I thought it was a nice place to read.”
“Yes. It wasn’t.”
“It was hurt, right?” yet you smiled, “but your face was lovely.”
I was shuddering at your words. I didn’t understand you, but I knew you hated my gut. To say you love me was just a mere lie to make me believe you and then to push me down in misery. I always believed it to be that way. Now I saw how much you liked seeing me in pain. How twisted this so-called love you proclaimed.
“Cut it out, Malfoy.”
I always tried to make you stop. ‘Go away and leave me alone’. You could not do that. You wanted to be with me. Following my trail and bothering me. You were a nuisance.
“Stop this farce!”
I determinde to make you stop your foolishness. You determined to keep me in your arms. Like lovers, but we were not. Since the first time, we were not.
Your arms fell from my shoulders like some fallen leaves of autumn.
Your grey eyes stared at me unblinkingly.
Then I said, what had been hiding in the corner of my heart, “I don’t love you at all. Never.”
Then you closed your eyes. Be stilled by time and bathing in the red of fading sunset. I stared at you and sighed.
“We should stop this. I can’t bear it anymore, Malfoy. Goodbye.”
You didn’t move from your chair and I did not wait for you. I stood up and started to walk away.
In this quiet library, which full of the color of fading sunset, I walked in silence. Then I heard the scrapping of chair. You must had stood up. I willed myself to never look back. But then I do otherwise.
As you called me.
With your unusual serene smile.
Sliver of madness.
Bathing in red sunset.
“I will make you love me. But this situation of us will not do. Then,” with your unusual calm voice, you said, “shall we be together forever?”
The sound of cracking glass. Spreading sharply like a wed of spider. It burst in as if it was being pushed by strong wind. The shards all were sharp.
I had no time to scream.
You were bathing in the red of sunset.
Yet I was showered with deadly shards. Embedded itself into my skin. My flesh. Chest. Cheek. Hand. Foot. It was red.
I fell on my back. Pinning down by numerous piece of glass. Staring unseeingly at the ceiling. The pain was too much and I was shock of it. Too much to bear.
Bookshelves on my sides were high and bathing in red. You stood at the end, in front of the broken window. Pocketing your hand casually. As if nothing happened to me.
“Your face is lovely.”
Yet you were not staring at me. You glanced at the burning sky that started falling to the darkness.
I felt darkness creeping in the corner of my sight.
Malfoy… why did you do this…
(‘You called a name when you were in fever, ‘Mione.’
‘Yeah, Harry is right. I also never hear that name.’
who is Malfoy?’ )