50 Reasons to Hate my Sister
Apollo dotted the i's furiously as he took in the title once again. Hermes was right. Writing out those pent-up feelings gives a strange sense of satisfaction. He will not let his awesome self be hurt by his annoying baby sister.
1. I hate the fact that she is Mommy's and Daddy's favorite girl, even though I am more good-looking and talented.
2. Though she takes the form of a 12 year old, I cannot call her 'little sister' because she was born before me!
3. She doesn't like me calling her 'little sister'.
4. She doesn't laugh at my cool jokes.
5. She doesn't appreciate my lovely haikus.
6. I hate it when she gives me advice on how to run my life. I mean, I have the perfect life!
7. I hate her when she hurts my pride.
8. But I hate her even more when she ignores me.
9. She teases me for years together but gets absolutely crabby and doesn't talk to me when I tease her.
10. I hate it when she looks at me like I'm some repulsive slug to be crushed.
11. I hate it when she deliberately puts my demigod children in my path, as a reminder to go visit my kids once in a while.
12. I hate it when she goes on about the virtues of celibacy and staying a virgin.
13. I hate her because she tries to recruit every girl I've cheated upon.
14. I hate it when she gets into my way every Solar Eclipse.
15. I hate it when she deliberately spoils my new handsome get-to-girls look.
16. I hate it when she turns me into a donkey. Or crow. Or tree.
17. I hate it when she yells her head off for something I did long ago.
18. I hate it when she criticizes my fashion sense, my haikus, my music, my songs, my voice . . .
19. I hate the fact that she hits every target she aims for while I'm the God of Archery.
20. I hate the fact that she knows every thing about me and finds me so boring!
21. I hate it when she brings up Daphne. Or Coronis. Or Hyacinth. Or Cassandra.
22. I hate her for ever becoming friends with that bloody Orion.
23. After that incident, she forgave Hermes for running away with one of her Huntresses before she forgave me for killing Orion.
24. I hate her every time I see her laughing with Hermes.
25. I hate the way she turns her puppy-dog eyes towards Father and gets away with everything.
26. I hate it much more when she turns those eyes to me and my insides all clench and feel guilty.
27. I hate the way she sometimes makes me feel, like I will do anything for her.
28. I hate the fact that she is the muse for most of my poetry.
29. I hate the fact that every time I sneak up to see her, she greets me with an arrow pointed at my face.
30. I hate her when she's so hostile when she's around her precious Huntresses.
31. I hate her because she has such gorgeous Huntresses and she instructs them not to look at me.
32. I hate it when she glares at me every time I look at her Huntresses.
33. I hate the way she storms into my place and demands me to do a job for her.
34. I hate the fact that even though there are muddy footprints all over my Persian rug, half my artifacts near the door are broken and she totally ruined my poetic flow, I cannot scold her because she is visiting me.
35. I hate it when she says thank you every time I help her, like I'm an outsider.
36. I hate it when she says, "Watch out, little brother."
37. I hate the fact that right after she leaves, I land nose-deep in trouble and she comes and rescues me.
38. I hate it when she enjoys rubbing this in.
39. I hate her because she can always sense my presence but I cannot sense hers.
40. I hate her when someone says she loves me more than I love her.
41. I hate her because she is looking out for me as closely as I am looking out for her.
42. I hate the fact that she finds me so "stiflingly protective".
43. I hate it when she tells her problems to her Huntresses, to Father, to Mother, to Athena, to Hestia but not to me.
44. I hate the way she makes me feel when she cries, like my whole world has become dark.
45. I HATE it much more that even though she is completely heart-broken, she refuses to cry into my shoulder.
46. I hate it when she says I'm so selfish that I never care about her.
47. I hate it when she gets into trouble and I can do NOTHING about rescuing her.
48. I hate the fact that sometimes she can barely tolerate my presence but I am simply addicted to her company.
49. I hate her because she's so independent that I have no place in her life.
50. I hate her now because she just said, "I love you, dear brother. I thought you knew that. And that makes it a total of 70 I's in your list."