I waited outside the large oak doors…
I had won the Alice game but what had I really achieved? All my sisters are now gone… but they are still here. The Roza mystica was split to make us and now it's whole again are they really gone? What had I really done to deserve the title of "Alice"? Why was Alice more important than the lives of all of my sisters?
Suddenly the door opened in front of me and I stood up straight. Father walked forwards, knelt down and held my tiny porcelain hands.
"Are you ready my dear?"
"Yes father" I said a little stiffly.
"Then come with me" he picked me up and took me into a room behind the oak doors.
The room itself was large, much too large for my liking. It was well lit by two large colourful windows on one wall of the room. The carpet was a deep red colour and the walls where covered in a plain dark oak panelling. Right at the back there was a very large arrangement of white flowers surrounding a large white…
"Father… is that a dolls case?"
"It's very late my daughter… It's time to sleep" he replied calmly. Hinaichigos' memories flashed before my eyes. I didn't want to be lonely. I wanted to stay with father, to get to know him! I didn't want to be shut away again. I didn't want to go to bed…
I jumped out of father's arms and ran out the door and down the hallway, my new white dress kept tearing on odd pieces of furniture and paintings. I didn't know where I was going but I didn't want to go to sleep. Even if I am Alice, even if I am perfect, I can't stay here! The blue and pink roses that had been weaved into my hair fell out and my bonnet flew off so my long brown hair flew back behind me in perfect ringlets.
"Wait! Alice!" father was running after me down the hall way. I knew I couldn't out run him. I opened out my jet black wings and flapped as hard as I could so I could fly away and get more speed. I knocked a lot of vases and paintings over but I didn't care. I had to leave. I've never had to run or fly so fast! Suigintous memories of flying and fighting shot past the lids of my eyes, brilliant blue flashes of light and red colliding as she and Shinku fought.
Even with the extra speed from my wings I could feel father catching up, his fingers where just catching at my dress and hair. I couldn't push myself any faster, I had no idea how he was so fast, how was he catching up with me?!
Suddenly I heard a yelp from behind me and felt his presence fade. I stopped as quickly as I could and turned round before coming face to face with Barasuishou. More memories appeared and flashed in my mind. I went to run again but Enju was in my way. He walked towards me and knelt down.
By now I was dizzy, exhausted and confused. It was clear they were giving me no way to continue and their intentions where clear- to take my place as Alice.
I considered my options breathing heavily trying to recover what strength I could. Father was behind, Barasuishou blocked by a wall of purple crystals. He had tried to reach me but Bara had cut his hand on the crystals while blocking his path. "Alice! Why are you running?" father yelled, his voice distorted in the crystals "Alice!"
"You don't want to be Alice do you?" Enju said calmly "you know, my dear Barasuishou could take the burden for you" I glanced over my shoulder at Barasushou. She was quiet and emotionless, staring me out, trying to intimidate me. It didn't work. I didn't know how she was alive but there was no way I was going to give my sisters away to her.
I looked around for an escape. I heard the quiet chimes of Pizzicato, Holie and Berrybell above me whispering to go up. I also heard Lempecka, Meimei and Sui dream above them… I could hear them saying there was a window above me. But if I'd heard them so had Barasuishou.
I quickly opened my umbrella and shot myself up on white crystals. Barasuishou was soon after me, but I had the advantage. I knew where the window was in advance and my umbrella would protect me from the glass. If I was going to escape, this was my only chance to escape.
The rest of the time was a blur. I remembered crashing through the window and being caught by the artificial spirits catching me and pulling me into the N-field by my dress. The way to the N-field closed behind and Laplace's demon caught me, I blacked out…
"And that's all I remember before waking up here." I said calmly. Jun was sat across from me, taller than in the memories I had of him… The house was the same as in all of Shinku and Hinaichigos' memories but there were more boxes. They all had words like "Storage" and "junk" or "for new house" on them. The room was very empty apart from his computer, some sewing and Shinkus' old box. At least I think it was Shinkus'… I can't tell the difference anymore.
"How much time has passed since the Alice game ended?" I said with tears in my eyes. He didn't respond. He just sat there and looked at me. I couldn't stand it, not one bit. The Jun I knew was able to speak his mind to me, to talk to…
He was able to talk to Shinku, not me. I am, and will never be the Shinku he could talk to. I may not have been. I don't even remember which of the dolls I started as before I awoke as Alice!
"Jun… speak to me… please!" I begged and started to cry.
"It's been three years." He said withholding all his emotions "a lot has changed… For a start I'm moving out of this place and Nori has a pretty good job now. It's been quiet but…" He didn't seem to be able to finish his sentence. I could tell he was bracing himself. Trying to keep himself from being hurt again… I hadn't thought about how painful it was for him and Megu to see their dolls hurt or… worse…
Suddenly I felt myself fading away. I realised I hadn't made a contract and so I had no-where to get my energy from.
"Jun" I said quietly "Jun… forgive me…"
"What?" He said surprised.
"I'm fading Jun… soon…all that will be left will be the doll… I don't have a contract. No energy… no life force… no… I have nothing."
"I can't ask you to make a contract with me. One doll was enough of a strain on a human body… let alone seven…you remember how much of a strain two or three were right?"
"But-" I put my finger on his lips.
"Goodbye Jun" I said smiling before I felt myself fall backwards and fade into the blackness.
So here I am. The perfect doll… locked inside the eternal darkness that is sleep…
“Will you wind?”