Chapter 4: A Mysterious Companion
Hagrid, Ron and Harry stood before the enormous twisted trees of Dumbledark forest, silently daring each other to be the first to enter its blighted realm. Harry knew in his heart that it was his duty, and his alone, to rescue his cousin Hermione. So he made sure Ron and Hagrid came along too.
Suddenly there was a cry from behind. They turned to find a figure, cloaked entirely in black, sprinting up the path from Hogwart’s, directly towards them. Harry quickly readied a magic missile.
“Hey you guys!” called the figure, “Wait for me.” It drew back its hood to reveal a pasty, blonde-faced young man with an apparent eating disorder and an annoying, prick-like complexion.
“Bollocks.” Said Ron in disgust, “It’s Malfoy.”
“That’s Malfoy to you,” retorted Malfoy, clearly mishearing Ron.
“Why are you here Malfoy?” Asked Harry, “I almost killed you with my magic missile spell.” Harry appeared momentarily embarrassed. “While I have greater spells in my repertoire, such as fireball and Otto’s Irresistible Irish Jig, I find that magic missile is highly effective against a single opponent.” Harry took out his 20 sided die. “If I was to have cast magic missile at you, by adding my To-Hit-Armour-Class-0 (THAC0) value and subtracting your Armour Class, I would have done…” Harry rolled his dice, “22 hit-points worth of damage. You’d be dead I imagine.”
“True, I most likely would be dead had I not cast a Minor Globe of Invulnerability before I left Hogwarts. Therefore I would have a saving throw against your magic missile, and a chance to halve the damage caused,” Malfoy produced a 12 sided die and rolled it on the ground, “See there! I escaped with only 12 points of damage. I would be just barely alive, though in severe pain.”
Ron stepped forward. “According to my Initiative value of 17 it would be my turn next,” he said.
Harry knew Ron didn’t have a very large repertoire of spells at his disposal.
“Choosing from my vast array of first-level spells, I would choose to cast Make Friends with Animals,” Ron chose an inappropriate spell. He rolled a four sided dice.
“Your spell has no effect.” Malfoy grinned through the seared flesh and bloody face wound left behind by the hypothetical magic missile. “It’s my turn now. I choose to cast Power-Word-Kill.”
Hagrid sighed. “Malfoy, you don’t even know Power-Word-Kill, that’s a ninth level spell.” Hagrid was referring to the high level spell that allowed the user to kill an opponent instantly, with the power of a word. “Only Dumbledore knows that. I saw him use it once on the large assortment of cats he enrolled by accident one summer.” Hagrid’s brow furrowed and his eyes glazed as though he was remembering something deeply disturbing.
Ron cast Make Friends with Animals on him, returning him to the present instantly through sheer irritation.
“When you people are finished playing Dungeons and Dragons, you might remember we have a princess to rescue!” With that Hagrid strode towards the forest, crossing the threshold between the light, airy grounds of Hogwarts, and the horrors of Dumbledark forest.
Ron, Harry and Malfoy rushed to catch up.
*NOTE* Due to popular demand, chapter 5 has a lesser reliance on obscure Dungeons and Dragons references and jokes at the expense of long-suffering underdog, Ron. Instead there will be more introspective moments from the point of view of Hagrid and less overall content. Thank you. *END NOTE*