Today I become accountable to you
A/N: Hey everyone, this is my first Grey's Anatomy fanfic. I hope you like it. I stopped seeing the show after Cristina left, so I took a lot of liberties with the plot.
Disclaimer: I don't own any original GA's material.
Today I become accountable to you.
"C'mon, you can do this! You-can-do-this." Izzie repeated that few words over and over in her head. Her hands rested on the wheel of her car, parked right in front of Grey's-Sloan Memorial Hospital. "You can do this." She said out loud, at the same time she opened the car door.
She rearranged the bag at her shoulder and looked up at the tall building. So many memories… Alex, George, Meredith, Cristina, Denny. So many crucial moments of her life happened there, in that cold and stern looking hospital. There was no way to avoid it, she had to stake up her courage and just walk through the front door. With a decided exhale and another "you can do this", she walked to the hospital. Her face up high, determined. Izzie wanted them to think she wasn't as afraid as she felt.
Izzie Stevens had left that same hospital a few years ago. Freshly cured from skin cancer and after Alex told her to go and never come back. But she had no other choice, in that hospital was the one thing she needed, and some unsolved businesses. She wasn't even able to reach the hospital door when, a voice behind her, made her stop dead on the spot.
"I cannot believe my eyes!" Callie exclaimed, loudly. "Izzie? Is that really you?"
"Callie." Izzie nodded in recognition. "It is really me. Is that your daughter?"
Callie shifted Sophia from one arm to the other. "Yes, she is. Sophia. What are you doing here?"
"She is beautiful, and she has Mark's eyes." She said. "I'm here because I need to see Cristina."
"Yeah… do you know where I can find her?"
"Residents room… I have to drop Sophia in daycare. But I can point you the way." Callie offered.
"I would appreciate that."
That encounter helped Izzie focus on the matter at hand. She was there on a mission, not to reconnect. Callie seemed very surprised to see her there, and kept giving Izzie sideway glances. Together they walked through the hospital.
"Do you know about Alex?"
"Do I know what about Alex?" Izzie asked Callie, her voice dropping low.
"He has someone know." It was a soundless warning, Callie was giving her.
"Okay…" Repressing any feelings wasn't so easy, as she walked through those halls. Far away, emotions were much easily under control.
Letting the matter drop, Callie pointed Izzie the way, leaving her alone. Quickly and without any problem, Izzie stopped in front of the appointed door. She hesitated only a moment, before knocking, unaware that she was being watched.
"Come in." A woman's voice said.
Izzie opened the door, the room was occupied by three women, and none of them looked at her.
"Izzie?!" The women shouted in unison.
"You're back?" Meredith asked, open mouthed.
"I just needed to talk to Cristina."
"To me?" Cristina sounded surprised.
"Stevens! You come back after all these years and all you can say is that?" Bailey reproached her. Her pager, choose that moment to beep, and Bailey had to leave. Not without giving Izzie one cold look.
"I'm sorry… I wouldn't have come if it wasn't urgent." She said, fighting against the tears that flooded her eyes. Her heart was suddenly heavy. "I missed you so much." She whispered.
Meredith approached Izzie slowly; with a slight hesitation she hugged her. "You're still one of us. But I swear: if you're back just to haunt Alex I'll be very angry at you." Meredith was now fighting against tears, as well.
"I have a patient." Izzie explained, recomposing herself. "No one will dare to operate. I couldn't let him die without trying to talk to you, Cristina. You are my last hope."
Cristina shared a look with Meredith, before answering. "Alright." She said, gesturing to Izzie, with her hand. "Tell me all about it."
Taking some papers and exams out of her briefcase, Izzie explained to Cristina everything. It seemed that she had a child who a heart transplant, but no one needed would do it. The door opened with a loud thump, startling the three women.
"What are you doing here?" Alex sounded angry, his face was red, his expression hard.
"I…" Her voice failed her, so she had to clear her throat. "I have a patient."
"We all have patients, Iz." He said, sternly.
"I needed Cristina." Izzie said. She had missed him so much, no one else called her Iz. It brought back so many memories.
"Yeah, right." Alex entered the room, a brunette stayed at the door. "Of all the excuses you could make that's the one you picked?"
"I remember you asked me to never come back. But I have a patient who needs Cristina, I couldn't let him die. I wasn't going to search for you." Izzie got up, becoming angry as well.
"I knew you couldn't just stay away." Alex was now facing her.
"We have been doing pretty well without you! I would never come back for you!" She couldn't control herself anymore, and her voice got higher.
"We? What do you mean by that? You have someone; try not to kill him, like you did Denny."
"Don't you dare throw that in my face, Alex." Izzie was taken aback by his accusation. "You're the one who came here. I didn't look for you."
"Fine, I'm leaving. Just stay away from me." Alex rushed through the door, quickly followed by the brunette that had stood at the door.
Izzie crashed in the small sofa. She was shacking. "Cristina, can you do it?" She asked, without any left strengths. Meredith seated beside her and rubbed her back.
"Yes, I can." Cristina said, squeezing her shoulder.
"You're married?" Meredith asked, stunned.
"Your wedding ring, you got married?"
Rolling the gold band on her ring finger, Izzie realized she had forgotten to take it off, before coming into the hospital.
"No, I did not get married, again."
"So that is…?" Meredith started to say.
"…From your wedding with Alex." Cristina ended.
"Yes, it is." She confirmed.
A couple of days later Izzie was, once again, back at the hospital. This time she wasn't alone. She looked at the pale face of her patient, he was sleeping peacefully. They were installed in a private room. Izzie was waiting for Cristina to come and see him.
Suddenly, he gasped, and Izzie jumped to his side in a second. Slowly he opened his light brown eyes, smiling at her. Izzie reached for the top of his head, taking the hair out of his eyes, smiling at him in return.
"Hey, sleepy-head." She whispered. "How are you?"
"Good." He managed to say.
"Doctor Yang will be here in a moment. Are you hungry?"
Izzie smiled at him again and called a nurse, to ask for some food. Sitting by the bed, Izzie was helping him to a glass of water, when Cristina knocked on the door. Cristina and a couple of interns came into the room. Between those was the brunette Izzie had seen before, with Alex.
"Good morning. I'm Doctor Yang. How are you today…" Cristina checked the file for a name. "…George?"
"I'm good." He said.
"I'm sorry, he is a little shy." Izzie explained. "George, this is Cristina, we've talked about her right? It's okay?"
"Yeah." George agreed.
Cristina couldn't help but smile at the little boy. "Let's start then. Who wants to present the case?" She asked the interns.
"Patient is George Alexander Stevens, six year's old, and suffers from potentially correctable congenital heart disease associated with greatly increased operative risk."
After the medical examination, the interns got out leaving Izzie and Cristina alone. Izzie accompanied Cristina to the door.
"You should tell him." Cristina advised, in a murmur, so that George couldn't hear her.
"That George is his son."
"He told me to leave and never come back again. I was going to tell him. But he told me to go and be happy, that he deserved better." Izzie sounded completely miserable. "What could I do?"
"Tell him. He will find out once he hears about George."
Cristina left Izzie by the doorway, feeling so lost that she could barely hold herself strait. She knew that Cristina was right. Alex would find out. Izzie was scared. She had left when Alex asked because she tough he would not want that baby, as he didn't want her anymore. When she left, Izzie vowed to never come back, to raise that child all by herself. It was the last gift of the man she loved. As time flew by, it got easier. George was so much like him, though, always a reminder. But Izzie was happy. George was happy. Until he got sick… after that, they had been from surgeon to surgeon. There was no one else left, and Izzie had to come back. She didn't have any other choice.
Before she could go back into the room, Izzie spotted someone heading in her direction. He looked confused, he seemed as lost as she felt. Alex stopped right in front of her. His eyes were indecipherable.
"Look Iz, I… I'm sorry." He said, resting his hand on his hips, pushing back his overall.
"Hum?" Was all Izzie managed to say.
"For the other day, I've heard about the boy."
"You heard about George?"
"Yeah, I did." Alex sounded hurt. "If either you or your husband needs anything, while you're here, you… you can count on me."
"My husband?" She asked, confused, and saw Alex pointing at her left hand. "Oh…no, this is not… I'm not married." Izzie admitted, not looking into his eyes. She blamed herself for, always forgetting, to take her wedding ring off. His pager started beeping, and Alex took it out of his pocket.
"I have to go. Tell me if you need anything." He offered, before stepping away.
"Mom?" A weak voice shook Izzie awake.
"Yes, baby?" She said, rubbing her eyes.
"Will I see you again? After… after the sur-ger, sur-ger-ie."
"Surgery." Correcting him, she sat on the bed, next to him. "Of course you will, baby. And I'll finally let you have that bicycle, you wanted."
"Really?" George's eyes shone with satisfaction.
"I promise." Izzie hugged George and let him fall asleep leaning onto her.
Letting her head fall onto the top of George's head, Izzie was now wide awake. Refusing the idea of not seeing her son again, she was terrified of thinking otherwise. Eventually Izzie left George sleeping and went to get a cup of coffee. The hospital was quiet. There was no much movement that night. On her way to the coffee machine, Izzie was stopped by someone yelling behind a door left ajar.
"Don't blame this on her. You were both wrong." A woman's voice could be heard.
"But it is her fault! She had all this years! How could she just hide this from me?" Alex's voice shouted in return.
"You told her you deserved better!" Cristina said. "Do you think that a child you didn't plan, with a woman you did not want was "better"? She was thinking of you! She wanted you to be happy without having to deal with a baby. If you saw Izzie everyday do you think you would've moved on? You wouldn't be able to. You would be angry all the time."
"How can you know that? How can you know I wouldn't be a great father and move on just the same?"
"I don't! I just have a surgery to get ready to, and once again I'm the one with the big secret that won't let me concentrate. So just get your shit together and go see your son before he goes into the OR." With that Cristina left the room, meeting a very scared Izzie outside. "Alex knows. You're welcome." That was all she told Izzie as she left.
Cristina left the door opened and Alex stood inside the room. He was sitting on the bed, with his elbows resting on his knees and his hands behind his neck. Alex did not saw Izzie. She almost ran away, but she chooses not to, not this time. She had been running away for too long. It was time to face the consequences. Hearing steps approaching, Alex looked up and saw her. Izzie sat by his side, grabbing the border of the bed with her hands on either side of her.
"I'm sorry." She said.
"Why, Iz? Why?" Alex sounded so miserable; Izzie's heart broke just from hearing him.
"I though you wouldn't want us in your life. I didn't want to give you another burden to carry."
"I shouldn't have said those things to you. But you had no right to hide this from me." He said. "I'm a father. Me… I have a son… with you. Jo is going to freak when she finds out."
"Alex, I don't want to give you any problems. We can leave things as they are." Izzie offered. "Once he is better we'll leave. You won't have to see us again."
"What if I want to, Iz?" Alex asked, looking at her. "What if I want him?"
"Do you want to see him? He's asleep now; he won't know you were there."
Together they made their way back into the room. George was still sleeping. Alex watched him sleep, mesmerized.
"What's his name?" He asked, whispering.
"George Alexander Stevens."
"Of course… Do you miss him?"
"I do, I've missed all of you. But yes, George was my best friend. I wish he could've been here." Izzie wiped a tear from her cheek, with her left hand.
Alex grabbed her hand; slowly he took Izzie's ring off. Taking a closer look at it, there it was what he was looking for. "Why, Iz?" He asked, holding the ring between his thumb and index fingers.
"It was never over, for me. I can still hear them every single night, your wedding vows." Izzie looked away from Alex.
They stood in silence for a while. They were both unaware that there was someone at the door. She just happened to listen, to the whole conversation; and was now pretty furious. Alex had never, ever told Jo about Izzie.
"It's time." Jo said, walking into the room. "I'm here to take him to the OR." Her voice was ice cold and she was sternly, avoiding Alex.
Alex was frozen into place, he quickly hid Izzie's wedding ring on his pocket. As for Izzie, she sweetly stroked George's cheek, whispering to him to wake up.
"Hey buddy… it's time." She said. "Are you ready?"
"Give me a hug." Izzie asked, opening her arms and squeezing him tight. "I'll see you in a moment, baby."
Jo started to push the bed away, after getting it ready. But Alex stopped her. "Wait." Alex walked to the side of George's bed. He shared a look with Izzie before continuing. "George, my name is Alex. What's the thing you want most when you wake up?"
"A.. a bicycle." He said, looking at his mother.
"Would you like me to teach you how to ride one?"
"Yeah!" George said, happily.
"I'll see you when you get back then. Do you mind if I hug you?"
"No, I don't." George let Alex hold him, awkwardly, for a few seconds. "Bye."
"See you soon."
Jo had to bit her tongue in order to stay quiet. She couldn't lose her temper in front of the child, after all. Finally she pushed the bed onto the hall, leaving Alex and Izzie alone in the room.
"Thank you." They both said at the same time.
Izzie couldn't hold it any longer, though and she fell to the floor, crying. Spasms shook her shoulders. Alex bent besides her, dropping an arm around her, he hold her close.
"Everything's going to be okay." Alex reassured her, kissing the top of her head. "Cristina never fails. George is going to be okay."
Weeks later, Izzie was getting George's clothes on his bag. She took her time; she was in no hurry to get back to her old life. Although not everything was going to be the same, it still was not what she wanted most. Alex was getting to know George; he still didn't know Alex was his father. They though it was too soon to tell him. But, they were getting there, slowly. The door opened, soundly.
"There you are… where's George?" She asked surprised.
"I left him with Mer. I needed to talk to you."
"Well, I'm listening." Izzie said, closing the bag.
Alex got to her side, taking her hands hi his. "Iz… Today's the day my life begins. All my life I've been just me. Just a smart mouth kid. Today I become a man. Today I become a husband. Today I become accountable to someone other than myself. Today I become accountable to you. To our future. To all the possibilities that a marriage has to offer. Together, no matter what happens, I'll be ready. For anything. For everything. To take on life, to take on love. To take on possibility and responsibility. Today Izzie Stevens, our life together begins. And I for one can't wait."
Izzie looked at his him, in disbelief. For his turn, Alex took something from his pocket. The golden ring flashed as it caught the light.
"What about Jo?"
"I can't lose you. I won't survive. And that's your fault. You made me love you, you made me let you in. And then you freaking died in my arms." He quoted with a grin. "You're it for me, Iz. It's you that I want. Will you let me in?"
"Yes." Izzie said letting him put her wedding ring back into her finger. After all those years, she felt home. His kisses still made her heart melt. Izzie felt complete. She had the men she loved and their son. She felt blessed.
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