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Dancing in the Rain

By Indiana Jackson

Fantasy / Romance

chapter 1

Marauder Era:

17 yr old Remus pov:

the first time I saw her, it was raining. She was sitting in one of the window casements facing the courtyard, her long legs stretched out ahead of her. She had a small, absent minded smile as she sniffed the air with her eyes closed. I went to walk past her, but was stopped by a lightly Irish accented voice.

"Hello, I just love it when rains. Don't you?"

I turned back to see her watching me from a pair of deep golden eyes, half hidden under her slightly wavy bangs. She wrinkled her nose at me in a friendly way and I realised I was staring. I couldn't help it. There was something familiar about this girl and her Russet hair and gold eyes.

"I do, actually. it makes everything smell so clean afterward. " I said as I moved forward and leaned on the sill by her feet. I took a deep sniff, my werewolf enhanced senses picking out and identifying each of the individual scents. Except I couldn't label one that flitted teasingly under my nose. It smelled like home cooking with spices, then it would change and smell like cinnamon, then something else.

She held her hand out, her nails decorated with silver polish.

"Sorcha Alexander, Ravenclaw." She smiled and winked like there was some great secret about her name.

"Remus Lupin, Gryffindor." I shook the proffered hand, then turned as another Ravenclaw ran by, tossing a book at her. "Oi, Sorcha! You forgot this in Potions!" He shouted as he went on by. I fully expected her to duck or miss it, but she caught it in one fluid motion without a blink.

"Well, it's been lovely, but I have to get to my next class. my free periods up." She jumped down from the sill and landed without a sound on the hard, stone floor. I blinked, I couldn't even do that.

"You spent your free period just smelling the rain?" I questioned skeptically.

"yep, Housemates think I'm a bit daft, but every time it rains, I'm either outside in it or near a window. Then, of course, they complain a bit about how I smell after I get wet." She gave me a cheeky smile and left, leaving me a bit confused. Why would she smell after getting wet?

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Further Recommendations

laurisadavey: I like how you structured your story very show and not tell your way with words makes me want to read on very good detail and the paragraphs and sentences just flow making it easy to read

Drew C. Elyon: I've only read one chapter so far, but from what I've seen, this is steampunk at its best. The narrative flows so beautifully I could envision every scene in an almost cinematic fashion. I believe in the complexity of simplicity, and this story has that in its descriptions.

BambooQueen: I seriously loved this story so much. I think it only took me two days... I wanted to yell at all the characters at least once. The build up was amazing too! I also was really surprised at the ending with the cliffhanger. Much luck!

Robert D. Stanley: I really liked this story. The main character was very well fleshed out (so much so that I sometimes felt sorry for her friends with how little trust she had in them) and your descriptive writing was very good. There are, however a few points I'd like to critique.1. The dual PoVs were interesting...

Cliuin: I couldn't stop reading from the moment that I started this book and that was some hours ago...

Aditya Harikrish: It had me on tenterhooks since the very first page. Excllently developed plot and characters. You've done an amazing job of building a fantasy world from scratch. Hats off to you!A sequel is a must.

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Deleted User: I love your use of writer's craft and how you use figurative language to enhance your writing. It great how you didn't have any spelling or grammar issues.

Ro-Ange Olson: This is such a different romance story. I loved it. The book was very long and could be split into 2-3 books in my opinion, but I'd hate to have to wait to read the next part too. I loved the chapter from Darius's point of view. It was a really different way for the writer to cover time and also ...

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