{{ contest.story_page_sticky_bar_text }} Be the first to recommend this story.
Get Free Copy

100 free copies left

This novel is limited to 100 free copies due to its part in Inkitt’s Novel Contest.

0
Free copy left
You can read our best books
lysden would love your feedback! Got a few minutes to write a review?
Write a Review

Crowded

By lysden

Humor

Crowded

Wolfgang sat cross-legged on the floor looking at the safe. With methodical calm, he opened the suitcase beside him and took out his stethoscope. He put it on and took a deep breath, trying to find that deep, calm and empty mental space that he usually went to for this kind of job.

This shouldn’t be as difficult a job as opening the S&D safe had been, but if he wanted to do it without just blowing up the vault he would need all the focus he could get.

Unfortunately for him, his normally peaceful mental space was a little crowded lately.

“What are you doing here? Is that a safe?”

He put down the stethoscope and looked over his shoulder at Will, who nervously paced back and forth through the room. Wolfgang sighed. And he hadn’t even really started.

“It’s a safe. And I’m going to open it.”

“Is it yours?” Will asked, looking suspiciously at the safe from behind the other man. Wolfgang snorted.

“Of course not. Why would I need to break it if it were?”

Will’s brow furrowed even more.

“Then you shouldn’t be doing this. Come on, let’s go.”

Wolfgang waved his hand dismissively at the policeman. “Look, I’m kind of on a deadline here. This won’t take long anyway. Just wait a second and we can discuss the actual value of property when I’m done.” And just like that he put the stethoscope back on and focused on the safe again.

Will ranged his teeth, incredulous, and said almost desperately: “I can’t just let you do this. This is a criminal activity, Wolfgang! You could go to jail!” he then looked at the Korean girl who watched the scene interestedly from her perch on a particularly comfortable chair. “No offense, Sun.”

“None taken.” She answered without missing a beat. “Hey, Wolfgang, maybe you could open the door to my cell.”

Will almost had a heart attack. “Are you insane? I wouldn’t even have to know in which country you are to know this is against the law.”

“Well, I am already in jail, anyway.”

“But you didn’t really do anything wrong. There is a big difference between playing guilty and being guilty.”

Wolfgang rolled his eyes. “Guys. I’m trying to work here. Can the two of you go and have this philosophical breakthrough in someone else’s mind?”

“Work? You’re breaking into a vault. How is that work?” Will put his hands on his waist.

“It pays my bills, doesn’t it?”

“And couldn’t you do it legitimately?”

Wolfgang actually put the stethoscope down and blinked incredulously at the cop. “And how exactly do you suppose I should break into peoples safes legitimately?”

“How am I supposed to know? You are the one who has been doing this your whole life. You should have at least an idea. Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it.”

“No, as a matter of fact, I haven’t. And I would like to not think about it right now. You do realize I don’t have a lot of time here, right?”

“You know…” Lito commented, taping his chin thoughtfully with a finger while leaning on Will. “With the right light and a good placement of cameras, this could become a very good scene. Wolfgang even has the ‘don’t mess with me’ look about him that would make for a good action hero.”

“Wolfgang as a action hero?” Capheus examined the thief from over Lito’s shoulder “No. A grumpy anti-hero at most. You know who would do really well in a action movie like this, though?”

“We are not discussing Van Damme with a vault breaking setting.” Lito looked at Capheus from the corner of his eyes. “We really need to broaden your cinematic horizons.”

Capheus smiled unrepentantly at him, shook his shoulders and went to look out the window.

By this point, Wolfgang was almost crying in despair.

“Please, guys. Just let me break this safe… ” he practically whined. Kala put a hand on his shoulder and said in a almost comforting voice.

“Are you sure you don’t want to simply blow it up? Or maybe I could get you some acid…”

He shook his head.

“No, of course not. What kind of safe burglar would I be if I just used acid?”

“A faster one?” Capheus prompted.

“Oh, I know what you need! I’m sure some good background music will help you concentrate.”

Wolfgang put his head in his hands. “Thanks for offer Riley, but I can’t hear the safe if I’m listening to music. Look, why won’t all of you just go and invade Nomi’s personal space and just let me get to work?”

“Don’t even think about it!” Nomi brought herself to the conversation. “I’m in the middle of a very romantic date and don’t need all of you as third wheels.”

Wolfgang sighed and closed his eyes for a second trying to put together all the pieces of his shattered patience.

“This is going too far! All I’m trying to do here is go back to my not so honest work, and you lot are not letting me! Do you know how difficult it is to crack these things open without a bunch of people talking to you? It’s fucking impossible! Now be quiet or get the fuck out so I can do this!”

“Nope… You would never pass an audition with that… Do try again with a little more sentiment, will you?” Lito said, still mentally trying to place Wolfgang in a movie. “Use your diaphragm.”

And that was the last straw. Wolfgang got to his feet, threw the stethoscope on the ground and kicked the safe in a not so contained temper tantrum. He turned on the others and pointed a finger at each one of them.

OUT! All of you! GET THE FUCK OUT!”

“Now that is much better.” Lito commented distractedly.

In the next room Felix stopped in the middle of the process of unlocking a particularly interesting closet and raised an intrigued eyebrow. He shook his head, not really sure he wanted to know why Wolfgang was screaming in an empty room.

Write a Review Did you enjoy my story? Please let me know what you think by leaving a review! Thanks, lysden
Continue Reading
Further Recommendations

ianwatson: The comedy is original and genuinely funny, I have laughed out loud many times reading this book. But the story and the plot are also really engaging. The opening two or three chapters seem quite character-dense but they all soon come to life and there is no padding, filling or wasted time readin...

emilia handy: THIS BOOK WAS JUST SO AMAZING?!?!!??! I couldnt make myself stop reading it. it had such amazing characters and an amazing plot twist. i suggest everybody should read this that likes humor as well as romance.

Hrishitaa Kanpal: I was so excited to read tis book, I actually couldn't think pf any other thing while reading this book I was hoping for a good ending I had thought of a very sweet and beautiful ending. I also suggested my friends to read this book but when I read the ending my all thoughts were shattered I was ...

JulieJeanette: I'm only on chapter nine, but so far I am loving this story!. I am on pins and needles hoping that they find good men in their lives by the end. I am American and so the British tone and lingo ('knickers,' 'sod it' ) of the book is very appealing. I had to find out how much '12 stone' was by goog...

Jaslyn: I loved reading this so much!! The transformation of Nina's self-esteem was incredible to read, and while I was rooting for Parker halfway through, I was very satisfied when Harrison and Nina finally got everything straight. The side characters were adorable - I especially loved Anna, Richel, Mic...

M.Jones: Its rare i come across stories with women relationships and its rather realistic, but at the same time its as a fantasy in terms of a shinning knight and a princess type style. The only thing was I was having some issues at parts with keeping track of who was saying what and who was talking at ti...

Diya Mahajan: wow! I just love this novel. it's a perfect novels for those who love high school romance. waiting for more stories. There is a twist in every chapter of this novel which makes it even more interesting.

hridhyaraj: I am only able to read till the bonus chapter of boyband...please someone tell me what happens after that.... I can't wait to know what happens next. does aqueela and jt get back together? what about Troy? I feel pity for the guy...and where does Emma and Xavier move to? I'm just flooded with ...

Karl12: This story is written in a fun, amusing way, which caught my attention from the very beginning. This, so to speak, “free” style of writing is something I really enjoyed. It gives a great flow to the story, makes it interesting, easy to read and keeps it dynamic. I loved that both Nate’s and Laney...

More Recommendations

Jennifer Kane Martin: I am a high school teacher, and the dialogue and inner thoughts are PERFECT. However, the lack of capitalization, punctuation, and the typos are distracting. Don't let these get in the way of a potentially good story.

Ruby0h: Overall I thought your story was really good! It drew me in right away and kept me interested as the story progressed. I loved the character of Kayla being inserted into this story, and the way she affected and shaped the life of the original story into something totally new and interesting. I lo...

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.