Learn to be Lonely

Summary

Remus Lupin was bitten by a werewolf when he was just a little boy. These are the thoughts of that little boy after he has suffered his affliction for a little while.

Genre:
Fantasy
Author:
Newra_Skylarke
Status:
Complete
Chapters:
1
Rating:
n/a
Age Rating:
13+

Learn to be Lonely

A lonely little boy sits alone in his parents' living room. He is watching the other children who live near by playing in the snow. He wants to join them, but he knows he can't. They will never accept him. He is "dangerous".

It wasn't something that he ever asked for. He didn't ask for that animal to bite him. It wasn't his fault he'd attacked that man. He didn't do it on purpose. He couldn't help it. It just happened. That's what happens when you are a werewolf.

Child of the wilderness

He never asked for that werewolf to find him and his brother when they were playing hide and seek. He wasn't sure if he was the lucky one or not. At least his brother didn't have to be like this. On the other hand, he was only like his brother's killer once a month. Then again, that was more than enough.

Born into emptiness

He didn't ask to be dangerous to everyone. He had always been a good boy. He'd always taken care of her younger brother, and helped him with things.

Learn to be lonely

Now there was no little brother to help, and now he was completely alone. All of the other children in the street were afraid of him, and the ones that weren't had been forbidden to play with him because of what he was.

Learn to find your way in darkness

Even his parents couldn't help him, and even they were terrified of what he could do if not carefully controlled.

Who will be there for you

When he transformed, he was always alone. No one could be near him, in case he bit them. He didn't want to, but if they were there, then his body would take control, and all he would be able to do was scream inside his own head and watch.

All he wanted was for someone to hold him and sooth his pain away, and make it all better.

Comfort and care for you

But he couldn't have that. Never. Because it was too dangerous.

Learn to be lonely

He would always be alone, tied to that wall, unable to get rid of the beast that took control of his body.

Learn to be your one companion

It didn't matter if it was the full moon or not, because even when it wasn't, he was still alone, because no one wanted to take the chance that he wouldn't attack them anyway.

Never dreamed out in the world

He had no dreams, no aspirations. Being a werewolf didn't make for ideal employee material, or Hogwarts material come to that. He'd never be able to go. It would place too much risk on the other students and staff.

There are arms to hold you

He'd never be loved by anyone, or have a friend, because who would want to love a werewolf?

You've always known your heart was on its own

He knew from the moment the Healer told him what had bitten him that he would never be the same, and that he could never lead a normal life.

So laugh in your loneliness

He smiled to himself, a bitter smile, one that contained no trace of happiness.

Child of the wilderness

He would always be alone. He would always be shunned aside. No one would ever care for him.

Learn to be lonely

And yet there was a glimmer of hope. He wasn't dead. He lived on. He could still try.

Learn how to love life that is lived alone

He could still try to do all of the things he wanted to do. Prospect of failure was no reason not to try.

Learn to be lonely

He would live alone. He could at least have a go. Maybe there was somewhere out there for people like him. Maybe there would be someone who wouldn't judge him for the animal inside, but for the person he was every day of the month bar one.

Life can be lived, life can be loved alone


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