Edward and I were in our own personal bubble. It wasn't a happy one as the image of Emily was burned in my brain. I had tried so desperately to forget about her and start off fresh, but she was too important to me to forget. And now she was gone…
I could have saved her. If I had only been a bit quicker, then she would still be alive. She could've gone on with her life without any interference from me. She would have been nine last week.
A new round of sobs broke through my chest and Edward held me tighter. I hated that I was causing him so much pain by watching me blubber; it wasn't fair. I didn't deserve him. I didn't deserve anything. Edward deserved a mate who could handle anything. He deserved a beautiful blonde creature that he could love and, in return, she could love him fully.
I could not give Edward one hundred percent of my love. Part of it always has and always will belong to Emily. My body shuddered; she gave me her love too. And I broke it. Ever since my change, I had beaten myself up about abusing her trust. I promised her that everything would be ok. I lied through my teeth to make her love me. But it was all for nothing.
I felt Edward shift underneath me. I snapped out of my trance to see what he was doing. He lifted me off his lap and placed me on the bed. He got up and walked across his room and looked out of is window. I watched carefully as he sighed and ran his fingers through his now dry hair. He turned to face me and studied me carefully and I made no sudden movements, afraid of what he might be thinking. He cautiously approached and knelt in front of me. He took my small hands in his and kissed them lovingly.
"Bella." He brokenly whispered. He looked up and his eyes met mine. I could see the pain in his gold irises, mixed in with concern. A fresh wave of guilt washed over me as I realised that everyone I got close to just ended up getting hurt. I didn't respond to his call, but kept staring back at him.
"Bella." He said, a little louder this time. "Please love." He begged, "I-I can't stand to see you like this. Please. Tell me what happened."
For the first time, I actually considered telling my story. Edward wanted to help me, but I couldn't guarantee that I would be able to talk about my past without breaking down. I closed my eyes and the image of Emily stared back at me. I memorised her wheat blonde curly hair, her bright smile which caused cute dimples to be imbedded on her rosy cheeks, her deep ocean eyes that seemed to swallow me up when she looked at me. It suddenly came to me that by not mentioning her; it was almost as if she never existed. This was wrong. An angel like Emily deserved to be done justice. I should be pouring out my heart to everyone, telling them how lovely she was. I breathed in a deep breath and reopened my eyes. The image of Emily did not disappear, but it was like she was right next to Edward. I gazed at him again and gritted my teeth in determination.
"It all started when my mom remarried." I began. I was about to continue when the door burst open. Still in my fragile state, I shrieked and hid behind Edward, who was now stood up facing the door, taking a defensive stance slightly in front of me. A petite figure with spiky hair emerged, her hands on her hips. Alice.
"Come on! You're not even dressed!" Alice cried. I looked at her, confused.
"What?" I asked, "Where are we going?"
"Shopping silly!" she told me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Alice," Edward growled, "not now."
"Oh this has nothing to do with you Edward!" She snapped, "I want to take Bella shopping. Now move out so she can get dressed." Edward did the opposite and placed himself directly in front of me, cutting off Alice's view of me.
"No." Edward stated in a final tone.
"Yes." Alice replied. I glanced down and saw Edward's hands curled into fists, trembling slightly. Jasper entered the room, probably sensing Edward's emotions, and put himself in front of Alice, defensively.
"Come on Edward." Jasper soothed, his southern accent playing in. "Bella is still new to all this. Give her a bit of freedom." Edward snarled at his comment.
"I will have to be in ashes before I allow her to leave my side." Edward hissed. He started crouching down, ready for a fight. Jasper mimicked his stance.
"She has the right to make her own choices." Jasper firmly told him. "Stop babying her and let her decide what she wants to do."
"Don't you dare tell me how I should treat my mate! You let Alice have free reign over you! That's why she's so God damn stubborn! Bella. Is. Mine!" Edward exploded. We were suddenly joined by Emmett who stood in between Edward and Jasper. They were both sending murderous glares to each other.
"Come on guys. Stop it; you're scaring Bella." Emmett informed them. Edward whipped his head around to face me. His face crumbled in shame as he took in my rigid form. He stood up and pulled me into a tight embrace. He buried his face in my neck and sighed. I glanced over at Alice, who was peeking her head around Jasper's still form, and looked apologetically at her.
"Sorry Alice." I mumbled. Her face softened.
"It's ok Bella." She whispered. I had the strongest urge to hug her small frame, but I couldn't move out of Edward's grip. He pulled his face out of my neck and took my face between his hands, resting his forehead on mine.
"Do you want to go shopping?" he asked me gently. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jasper's smug smile and Alice started bouncing in place. I nodded my head, not breaking eye contact with him.
"Please." I whispered. He sighed and nodded his head. He placed his lips on mine lovingly and pulled away. He circled his arms around my waist as I buried my face in his chest.
"I'm sorry Jasper, Alice." Edward apologised, resting his chin on top of my head.
"Hey don't worry about it." Jasper said.
"Good!" Emmett clapped. "Now all that's sorted, I have to get back to my Rosie." I lifted my head out of Edward's chest.
"Eww." I mumbled. Edward, Alice and Jasper laughed. Emmett waggled his eyebrows and darted out of the room.
"Shopping time!" Alice squealed loudly. She dragged Jasper out of our room and shut the door. I untangled myself from Edward and put my worn clothes back on. I think I needed this shopping trip. Edward glided over to his wardrobe and put on a fresh pair of faded blue jeans with a belt and a green short-sleeved button down shirt. He then walked over to a set of drawers and pulled out a dark blue jumper and pulled it over his top half. He put on his grey trainers and came over to me, linking his fingers with mine. He gave me a peck on the lips and stroked my cheek with his free hand.
"Shall we?" he asked.
"We shall." I giggled. We trailed downstairs where Jasper and an impatient looking Alice were waiting. The pixie had her arms folded across her chest with her foot tapping on the floor.
"Took you long enough!" she scolded. I couldn't hold back the sniggers that escaped my lips and neither could Edward. Alice rolled her eyes and marched outside, dragging Jasper with her. Edward towed me outside by the hand and stopped at a yellow Porsche.
"Wow." I whispered. I peeked through the tinted windows and saw Alice in the driver's seat, next to Jasper who was in the passenger seat. I saw that Alice was glowing with excitement.
"Is she always like this when she goes shopping?" I asked Edward. He merely shrugged in reply.
"Alice will be Alice." He climbed in to the back and pulled me in after him. He placed me on his lap and buckled the seatbelt around us both. Alice rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"So in love." She muttered. Edward laughed and nuzzled his face into my hair, purring at the contact. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feel of Edward touching me as I heard the Porsche come alive. I couldn't tell how fast we were going but approximately one hour later, the car slowed down and came to a stop. I opened my eyes and found that we were in a parking lot.
"Alice, where are we?" I asked, still drinking in the sight before me.
"Seattle. We're going to the mall!" she squealed and clapped her hands. I heard Jasper chuckle as two car doors opened and slammed shut.
"Edward," I nudged him, "we have to go now." He groaned and hugged me tighter to him. He hadn't moved an inch since the beginning of the journey, except for the fact that he had closed his eyes.
"I'd rather stay in this position." he mumbled. I had to agree with him there, but it wasn't fair on Alice and Jasper who were already making their way into the mall. Alice had a bounce in her step which made me chuckle. I decided to be a little more persuasive and leaned down to whisper in Edward's ear.
"You'd better let us out now otherwise you're not getting anything for a whole month." He immediately shot up, undid the seatbelt at lightening speed and dragged us out of the car, running after Alice and Jasper. I laughed at his new found enthusiasm. Even if he didn't get out, I wouldn't have stuck to that promise; my will would have crumbled tonight.
When we caught up with Alice and Jasper, Edward was immediately on guard. He wrapped both of his arms around me and buried his face in the crook of my neck, still walking beside me. I didn't fail to notice how Jasper kept an arm around Alice too. When we got into the crowded part of the mall, Edward lifted his face to glare nastily at the males who were looking lustfully at me. He tightened his grip on me but I didn't complain. I decided to help him out a bit and wrapped both of my arms around Edward's waist. He smiled down at me and I couldn't help but smile back.
"Thank you." He whispered and kissed my nose. Alice led us into a clothes shop where she instantly started throwing clothes at me. I now held a total of twenty pieces of clothing and a victorious looking Alice.
"Try them on!" she squealed. I sighed as I entered the changing rooms. I entered the cubical and drew the curtain across. I started getting changed when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I squeaked and looked behind me and sighed when Edward was there.
"You frightened me." I accused in mock hurt. I saw a smile tugging at his lips. He leaned down and kissed my neck.
"I'm sorry." He whispered. "Let me make it up to you." He surprised me by nipping gently at my neck. Pleasure and desire ran through me. He lifted his face from my neck and crashed his lips to mine. His tongue darted in and out of my mouth and I moaned rather loudly; I had to remember that we were in a public place so I quietened down.
"Don't worry." Edward whispered huskily into my ear, "No one is here." He attacked my lips with his again and as he bit on my bottom lip, he started grinding against me. I moaned even louder and knotted my fingers in Edward's hair. I pushed back onto him and he growled lustfully. I realised that Edward came in half way through me getting changed. I glanced down at my body and found that I was only in my bra and pants. Edward shoved me up against the wall of the cubical so I was pinned. He swiftly bent down and hooked his arms around my thighs, pulling them up to his hips to allow him better access to me.
"Ugh, Bella." Edward panted when he released my lips. His eyes snaked down my bodice and his eyes clouded over in lust.
"Umm, Edward. D-do you t-think we should be d-doing this?" I panted. We were in a public place after all.
"Yes." He growled out as he placed lustful kisses on the side of my neck, "Right here. Right now." I felt his hands explore my body as he started sucking on my neck. His hands started massaging my breasts and I jumped, a little surprised.
"Don't deny me what I want, my love." Edward warned. I shook my head as I couldn't form a coherent sentence without moaning. Edward's lips were planted on mine once again but he soon started to slowly make his way down my chin, the length of my neck and stopped when he reached in between my breasts. He took the fabric between his teeth and ripped it off, leaving my top half exposed.
"Mine." He whispered as he started sucking on the flesh.
"Ahh." I moaned. I quickly took the opportunity to strip off his jumper and unbutton his shirt and he happily obliged. Once Edward was topless, I took a good few seconds to gaze at his perfectly sculpted chest and abdomen. As I was oogling, Edward saw this as the moment to rip off my pants and as soon as he did, he cupped my sex.
"Ugh. You're so wet for me." Edward whispered. He started sliding his finger across my entrance before he plunged it into me. I cried out in sheer pleasure. He started pumping his finger inside of me and I tried not to buck my hips. Soon after, he added another finger and curled them slightly inside of me. I felt the warm knot tighten in my stomach and I arched my back, ready for my release.
"No." Edward hissed, "Keep it in. I'm only getting you warmed up." I nodded my head and did my best to hold myself together. I couldn't help but remove his belt. I heard the fabric fall to the floor and saw Edward's erection straining against his boxers. I grabbed the top of them and shredded them off his form. Without warning, Edward pushed me back up against the wall, removed his fingers and slid his erection easily into me. I gasped as I felt him inside of me.
"Oh God! You're so tight and wet." Edward growled. "And it's all mine. Isn't it love?"
"Yes." I breathed, "All for you."
"Good." He huskily replied. He roughly grabbed my hips and started slamming into me, causing the knot in my stomach to tighten and heat up. I knew that I would release any second now and so did Edward as he angled his hips slightly upwards to explore more of me.
"Come with me my Bella." Edward ordered, "Come with me." I arched my back in response and screamed out as I released. I felt Edward come inside of me at the same time. When we were done, Edward simply held me lovingly, refusing to pull out of me. It was only then that we were reminded that Alice and Jasper were still waiting for us so Edward quickly changed back into his clothes as I tried on the rest of the items of clothing Alice had given me, with Edward kissing exposed parts of my skin as I did so.
Once I was done and dressed back in my original clothes, Edward planted a sweet kiss on my lips and I led him out of the changing rooms, handing the clothes to Alice. I sneaked a glance at Edward and I found that his eyes were dancing, a smug smile plastered on his lips. I must have satisfied him then. Alice seemed to notice his mood too as she raised an eyebrow at me.
"They're fine." I told her, handing her the clothes with a smile. She smiled back, flashing her teeth and ran to pay for the clothes.
"Oh aren't they just." Edward said cheekily and I lightly smacked his arm, earning a chuckle from him. When we were finished in that shop, we went to several others and by the time we had finished, we ended up with forty shopping bags in total.
"Let's go." Edward said eager to get home. I looked up at him and saw he was staring at me with lust filled eyes. I giggled and looked down.
"Hang on!" Alice stopped us, "We just need to go to one more shop." Alice danced her way through the crowd as me, Edward and Jasper reluctantly followed. The scent of the humans was over whelming and I leaned into Edward for support.
"Are you alright love?" Edward whispered. I shook my head in an attempt to clear thoughts of murdering the innocent humans.
"I need to go hunting after this." I breathed. Edward nodded his head in understanding and Jasper tried to calm me down. I nodded my appreciation to him and he smiled back. I saw Alice stop in front of a shop and I glanced at what it was called.
My eyes went wide and I looked at Alice. She smiled wickedly and I gulped in fear. I didn't know what the little pixie was up to but I didn't like the way she was looking at me. Not one bit.
"I think this is the best idea you've had all day Alice." Edward said huskily whilst staring at me. "Remind me to thank you later." Alice laughed a tinkling laugh.
"We'll wait out here for you." Jasper informed us. Alice and I nodded our heads as she took my hand and dragged me into the dreaded shop. She picked out several lacy pieces of underwear and if I was still human, I would have turned tomato red with embarrassment. She took me to the check out where a woman with blonde hair and a tan looked at us with envy. We paid for our things as the cashier kept glaring at us under her mascara covered eyelashes. When we were walking out of the shop, Alice and I looked at each other and started laughing. Unfortunately, I didn't see where I was going and bumped into someone. The impact didn't affect me but I looked down and saw a man who looked to be in his mid-twenties sprawled out across the floor, papers surrounding him.
"Oh my God, I'm so sorry!" I apologised. He looked up at me and his eyes filled with lust. I crouched down and helped him pick up his papers. I saw that his eyes kept going from my lips, to my chest and then to my legs. The way he was staring at me made me feel uncomfortable. I glanced up at Alice and she nodded, running to fetch Edward.
Once we had gathered the papers, we stood up and I handed him my pile. As he took it, he tried to touch my skin but I easily avoided the contact. I looked at his face and saw that he had dull grey eyes and muddy brown hair.
"Why than you darlin'." he replied as he shuffled the papers around in his hands. He neatly folded them up and placed them in a hidden pocket on the inside of his coat, never taking his eyes off me. I nodded my head and stepped around him, but he grabbed my arm and blocked my way.
"Where do you think you're going?" he asked, leering towards me. I leaned back slightly. "I can think of a few ways that you can apologise." He said as he greedily licked his lips.
"Um, no thanks." I replied. His grip on me tightened.
"Aww come on. Don't be like that sugar." He drawled. He tried to pull me closer when he was roughly dragged away from me. I blinked and saw Edward grab the man's collar, wind his fist back and punch the man right in the nose.
"Oh shit!" the man cried as he fell to the floor, clutching his nose. Edward started kicking him roughly in the stomach.
"DON'T. YOU. EVER. COME. NEAR. MY. GIRLFRIEND. AGAIN!" Edward roared, still kicking the man. Of course, he couldn't use the word mate as that would have aroused suspicion amongst the humans. The human must have been unconscious by now. When Edward stopped, he ran over to me.
"Are you ok?" he questioned, kissing every part of my face.
"Yes." I whispered. Edward kissed my lips passionately. We stopped when we heard the humans running towards us. We spotted three security guards sprinting towards us, their eyes locked on our little group.
Edward grabbed my hand and sprinted out of the shop at a fast human speed with Alice and Jasper close behind. We kept running until we were by Alice's Porsche. We hopped in and Alice started the engine, making it hum to life.
"Let's not do that again." I said. The others simply nodded in agreement as we pulled out of the lot and headed home.