Lost Without You

Chapter 2

The next time Yin woke up, she could feel the sunlight on her face. It must be morning already.

She tried to move around in her position to relieve her stiff muscle but the small movement caused the arm around her to tighten its hold on her frame. She could feel Hei’s arm on her, wrapping around her protectively, possessively.

Being in his arm was warm and comfortable but she felt the need to relieve her urges at the moment. She slowly untangled their limbs and sat at the edge of the bed bringing her feet on the floor. She pushed herself from the bed and before her feet could even take a step away, her body failed her as she crumpled to the floor in a heap.

“Yin!” She heard Hei called her name in panic. It took only seconds for him to crouch beside her. “What are you doing?” He inquired. She couldn’t see it clearly but she could detect the concern in his voice.

“Bathroom,” she answered shortly with a slight embarrassment. At least she thought it was an embarrassment that she felt at the moment. She didn’t know many emotion since she was a doll but she was learning long before her confinement by Section 3. She was an evolving doll. The very first of their kind.

She gasped when she was suddenly lifted from the floor into Hei’s waiting arm. He took her to the bathroom and sat her on the edge of the bathtub.

“Will you be okay on your own?” He asked with his usual deep gruff tone.

“Yes,” Yin nodded. “Thank you,” she said quietly. There was no reply from her companion but she knew that he understood her gratitude. She heard the door being close, so she slowly but carefully moved around the bathroom to take care of her business.


Hei closed the door and stood outside the bathroom in case anything happened to Yin. He leaned against the door and folded his arms across his chest, waiting patiently for the silver haired girl. She had not moved around for a long time, so her muscle was not used to the stress she was putting on her body. It was going to be a while before she would get back to normal. And he would be with her in every step it took for her to be well again.

His heart was beating furiously earlier when he saw her crumpled to the floor, fearing that something bad had happen to her while he was sleeping contently for the first time since she was taken away from him. Only when she was gone did he realize how important the unique doll to him. Sure, they were on the move a lot since the Hell’s Gate incident and running away from the syndicate and the police. But with her by his side, he felt like he could achieve anything. Because he was not alone.

The door to the bathroom opened and Yin emerged, grasping the doorknob tightly in her clutch and leaning against the door frame to support her body. Hei quickly went to her side and gathered her in his arm without any words.

“I’m sorry,” he heard Yin uttered softly. Her face was hidden from his view by her long bangs and she was clutching his shirt tightly in her small fist.

“Why are you sorry?” He asked, confused with the sudden apology she made.

Yin looked up to him with her stoic face but her eyes were full of emotion. Hei was amazed at the intensity of the emotion in her eyes. He was happy that she was capable of expressing her feeling but at the same time he felt sad, because there reflected in her eyes were so much anguish.

“I’m being a burden to you,” she whispered. “I’m always a burden.”

Hei tightened his grip on her and his eyes narrowed in anger. “Where did you get that from?” He scolded. “Of course you’re not a burden.” Despite his anger at her words, he placed her gently on the bed and stood in front of her imposingly. “Don’t you say that again,” he commanded in his black reaper’s voice.

“But it’s true,” she argued. “Back then when we were a team with Mao and Huang, you always had to protect me, and after we left the syndicate you continued to protect me even if your life was at stake.”

Hei couldn’t believe what he was hearing coming right out of her mouth. Sure, he gathered that she was worried about him based on the incident back when they were at Kowloon, Hong Kong. But to hear her voiced out her worries amazed him. He knew that she was an evolving doll, but this was astounding. She really was evolving at an escalating rate.

But what was more important, from her constant worry for him, he knew that she cared about him. His memory trailed to the event where she said that she loved him, back when she was at the beginning of her awakening process. Just remembering those words uttered from her lips stirred something primal inside of him. It made him feel warm inside. He felt strangely content. A huge deviation for a contractor. Then again he was not a normal contractor, much like she was not a normal doll.

“Why?” Her inquiry snapped him out of his reverie and he focused his attention back at her. “Why didn’t you kill me?”

His blood ran cold at her question. He didn’t understand it. Why did she was so adamant for him to kill her? Couldn’t she see that there was so many choices, so many options to make besides her losing her precious life?

“Why didn’t you kill me Hei? Why did you save my life?” She repeated her question, looking up at him with tears trailing down her cheek.

“Because you save mine,” he answered back heatedly, his hands gripping her shoulders tightly he was sure it would leave bruises later on. “Have you forgotten? You save my life too remember. During one of the mission, and inside the Hell’s Gate when I surrender my life to die. You called out to me, and then I remember the reason why I’ve been fighting. I still have someone I need to protect.”

Yin gasped slightly. Tears continued to flow down her pale cheek.

Hei put his hands around her form and hugged her tight to his chest, his nose buried in her silver hair. “I need to protect you Yin. Because you are important to me. Because you are someone I love,” he confessed. “How can I kill you? How can I kill someone I love?” He yelled desperately.


Yin was shocked to hear his confession. She could feel her heart beating furiously inside her chest and she could feel his heart as well, it was racing rapidly on his.

“Hei,” she whispered as she coiled her arms around him, hugging him with the same intensity as his.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized as more tears fell from her eyes following the same path that the previous one was making. “I’m sorry,” she repeated, asking to be forgiven by him for being so selfish. She thought the decision she was making was the best for the both of them. Asking him to kill her would solve the problem, and she was sure that he would not have any problem to execute the deed. She saw him killed numerous times before in cold blood.

But the decision she was making didn’t factor the feeling he might have for her, for she thought he only felt obligated to take care of her because she was a doll who was his partner when they were still with the syndicate. She didn’t think of what would become of him once she was dead because she thought that she was not a significant importance to him.

How wrong she was in her thinking.

She remembered the event that happened when he saved her after she was kidnapped back in Okinawa. He hugged her and pleaded with her to not leave him alone. But because of her awakening, she unintentionally left him alone. She didn’t know what had happen to him during her absence but she didn’t like the haggard look he worn on his face and somehow his eyes seemed colder, darker than before.

“I love you Hei,” she whispered as she clung to him desperately didn’t want to let go.

She was happy now. She was happy because the one person she cared the most said that he loved her. He reciprocated her feeling. It made her entire body filled with such warmth she felt like she was bathing in the moonlight from the inside. It gave such a nice feeling.

“I know,” she heard him replied softly. They stayed hugging like that for a while. Both didn’t really want to move from their position. They wanted to savor this moment while they could because both of them knew that their moment of peace wouldn’t last long in this chaotic world.

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