Love and Loss

Love Fades, Mine Has

I woke up with the golden sun still shining through the fabric of my blinds. I roll across my bed and checked the time. 4:32 PM, great, I woke up way to early. However at the same time I am no longer tired. I decide to go down to the gym and work out for a bit, I'm always tired after a workout.

I change into a black sports bra and black sport shorts to workout in. I make my way down the lonely, barley lit corridor to the gym. I pushed open the big oak doors and see the gym in empty, no surprise there. I start to run my laps and count. Once I reach thirty I take a drink from my water bottle and work on the punching bags. I carefully, but quickly wrap up my hands and begin to work on the punching bag. Through the haze of my workout I hear the doors open and close. I don't look to see who came in because truthfully, I don't care one bit. After a few minutes I feel a hand on my shoulder, I'm about to grab the person and throw them down onto the ground in till I smell the oh so familiar aftershave I love. Dimitris here. I think to myself. "What do you want?" I ask in a cold voice without turning around.

"I came to apologise, from yesterday, I acted rude towards you and I'm very sorry Roza, I shouldn't have done what I did. And I'm very, very sorry for hitting your head, you're okay now right?" His voice was soft like silk wrapping itself around me when he spoke.

"Rose."

"What?"

"My name is Rose, not Roza." I turn around to face him. "My head is fine; I just have to be careful."

"Why, what's going on Roz-Rose." He quickly catches himself for with I am grateful, I don't think I would be able to stay man at him for long if he continued to call me by my Russian name.

"Rose, please tell me what's wrong."

"Dimitri, you lost the chance to know anything about me when you left me."

"Rose, you have to believe me that that was the worst mistake I have ever made. I love you Rose, I never stopped."

"Well I did Dimitri like you said before, love fades mine has." I turned to walk away but he grabbed my arm. I turned to look into his brown eyes that are now glasses over with tears threatening to spill.

"Roza, don't say that. You have to understand why I did what I did."

"Yeah Belikov, why is that?" I could see him slightly stiffen at the use of only his last name.

"I did it to protect you, so you could have everything you wanted-"

"I HAD EVERYTHING I WANTED!" I yell in his face. "I had you; you were all that I needed! I loved you and you used me and threw me away like any other male."

"I never intend to use you Rose, I loved you and I still do, I just couldn't live with myself knowing all the things I did to you while I was a Strigoi."

"You left me because of what you did to me when you were a Strigoi?" I ask slightly shocked.

"Yes, you deserved better than a man that would do such terrible things to you like I had."

"That's my choice to make, not yours!" I start to raise my voice again. At this point I am shocked that no one has heard us yet. "You hurt me more then than you ever could have as a Strigoi." Low blow, I know but it was true he hurt me so bad that day is was worse than when he was sending me death threats.

He took a second to think his next words threw, that or he was hurt and speechless from what I had just said.

"You have to understand that I thought I was doing what was best for you."

"Bullshit! You just wanted the easy way out!"

"Rose, I am so, so sorry-"

"Are there any other reasons?" I ask cutting him off.

"What?"

"Are there any other reasons as to why you left me?"

"Yes." I look at him to carry on with the conversation.

"Well?"

"I wanted you to have a full life, I couldn't give you a family, I was taking your chances of guarding the princess, I was taking so many things away from you so I thought if I took myself you of the equation it would solve the problem."

"Well it didn't solve the problem, did it?" I ask as a rhetorical question, yet still he answers me.

"No, it didn't." I turn away and grab my things from the gym and start to walk out in till I hear Dimitri call me. "Where are you going?" I don't turn around as I continue to walk away from him.

"Away from you." I call back as I push the large oak doors open, and away from the love of my life.


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