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The Trouble with Cats is

By kaiwai

Children / Humor

The Trouble with Cats is

A/N: So I was thinking about doing a short fic that was different from the usual horror scary thing that I do and I thought of this while I was in the shower. It's cute, sweet, and short. In this fic, Lieutenant is the nickname of the head of Bloody Cages, which is something close to an orphanage for those that are different (like Zero the vampire.) Bloody Cages is huge, by the way, and I may write a couple more things with it, so just so you all know, it's a combination of anime, thus the various anime characters mentioned when Zero was thinking about things. Uhhh…can't think of anything else I needed to explain…so enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own VK, Bleach, McDonald's, Attack on Titan, Super Sonico, or Blue Exorcist. Those all belong to their rightful owners: Matsuri Hino, Tite Kubo, Ronald McDonald, Hajime Isayama, Sony, and I don't know who owns Blue Exorcist but yeah, Bloody Cages is mine, however, and so is Lieutenant.

Snow trailed a light hill on the curb of the streets against either side of the streets, more collecting slowly as flakes steadily hailed down from the gloomy gray sky. A bare tree's branches tapped the side of an office building, guided by a gentle but chilling breeze, and Zero scowled, thinking about how all the people inside the building must be warm, cozy, working on their computers lazily or chatting about current events near the coffee table in the lounge room…

He shook his head and fought the urge to sneeze as one of the flakes landed on his nose. "Pesky snow," he muttered, shaking out his hair for good measure. Once, he loved the snow, loved playing in it, collecting it in round balls and throwing it at his twin-

Hot tears stung his eyes and he blinked, effortlessly shoving the memories into the dark recesses of his mind. Not today. He didn't need them today. Maybe he could use them later though to play on Kaname's emotions a little bit…

Later. Zero leaned back a bit in his chair, relaxing and enjoying the warm steam of the hot cocoa coming from the Styrofoam cup in his hands. To everyone else he looked like a hipster sitting outside a coffee shop on the corner near an office building with a rattling tree branch scratching the sides and a McDonald's across the way where his sensitive vampire ears could clearly hear the lady at the cash register ask for the thirtieth time that morning what this particular customer could like, but in his mind, Zero was the king of his chair at the same table he sat at every morning while waiting for Kaname to get out of whatever class or meetings he had for the morning. Lieutenant was strange in the way she requested in-home services like that, but Zero didn't question.

Zero closed his eyes to think for a minute. Homework…he really should text Ichigo and get the AP Physics notes from him…maybe ask if he understands what kind of electric current could run through a single power line at a-


Zero cracked an eye open. Students calmly walked by him, none really paying him any attention, or even making sounds at him for that matter. He looked at his phone. One text from Eren, asking if he was okay. That was twenty minutes ago. Oops…

No recent notifications otherwise. He looked down at his feet to see if he stepped on something. Nothing. So he shrugged to himself and rested his head back against the shoulder of the chair, closing his eyes once more. Maybe Sonico finished the AP Government review..? He could always get it from Rin-


Zero sat up abruptly, giving two students that had been walking nearby him a heart attack. Zero glared at them and sent them moving faster to get away from him. He muttered angrily to himself, reminding himself later to kick Lieutenant for the insolence of some of the newer kids. Pranksters.

Even so, when he relaxed and closed his eyes a third time, he found himself hearing the same annoying noise with no source. Zero growled and set his cup down so he could free his hands to noisily scoot his black metal chair back, and lo and behold, a small black kitten lay curled behind his feet, flicking his tail happily as it rolled around on its back.

Zero picked the kitten up by the scruff of its neck and glared at it. "So you're the little shit that keeps making noises and disturbing my mental nap, huh?" he said, eye to eye with the kitten, but it simply licked his nose, which made Zero furious.

"Zero, are you fighting with a cat?" Kaname asked as he walked up, having just seen Zero's outburst and the kitten's responsive kiss. Zero shot Kaname a sarcastic look and held up the kitten higher, "found him. You want him? Keep him." Kaname chuckled, "well, animals don't very well like vampires, Zero, and I'm surprised this one warmed up to you so quickly. What's its name?"

"I've decided he is a boy. I think he's lost his sense of smell, too."

"That explains why he was able to lay near your shoes and not die from the odors within."

Zero playfully whacked Kaname upside the head, shaking his head. "You're an odor."

"I am?"

"The absolute worst."

"But the absolute best in bed, right?"

"Suuuure, cause your stupid ass cologne is a total turn on while you're screwing me senseless."

"You said it, not me."

The kitten suddenly sneezed, coming out more like a squeak, and Kaname and Zero briefly stopped their conversation to eye the cat curiously.

"Squeak? He's like a little mouse."

"That's a good name for him. Mouse."

"Careful, Zero. Once you name him, you become attached to him."

"I'm stuck with him anyway. Come on, Mouse. Let's go home. What's the worst that could happen?"

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