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But if you close your eyes (does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?)

By MerciaLachesis

Drama / Mystery

Chapter 1

Loki's favourite things about Midgard are as followed:
- The magic that sings to him more welcomingly than on Asguard.
- The people- most of whom have sense to kneel (in the end they all will)
- The food (specifically the shawarma which is admittedly quite good- but definitely NOT because Thor is fond of it)
- The moon
- The other moon

There is of course two moons on the list. Loki had thought there was only one but, then there wasn't. It hadn't made much sense until one realised that the other moon was really a Midguardian female child. But in that case, through that logic, there must have been many more moons on earth.

But Loki decided that only the other moon was really worth mentioning.

The mortal girl, the other moon that is, does not see him at first; but she hears him clearly. Anyone can have heard what happens but only she can hear him. His heart, his breathy sigh, his every move. He can immediately sense her magic humming to him.

Loki finds himself falling into a pond, similar to that of a rather dignified yet graceful- cow. He likes to think that he has successfully awed the young child-thing and strides -almost to the point of strutting- out of the water, shaking his mane of ebony like the ever majestic lion. Child giggles. Loki then proceeds to collapse into what he will later describe as an elegant heap.

When Loki does wake up he finds himself on a rather squishy bed rather than the overgrown garden from before. The other moon (Loki calls her this before learning her name, and he doesn't believe in coincidence) has fallen asleep and is now snoring rather quietly. There's a tight feeling in his chest, but not a bad one. It's a little thing just bubbling in him making him want to squeal. Instead he allows a quiet, "Awww." Which is entirely not sarcastic. He wants to do this again but, alas, he doesn't. He frowns; he does not enjoy this new found weakness. Then the child sits up, she turns to face him but... something is wrong. The earthling is facing the opposite way.

"Would you like me to get papa?" She says to his feet.

"I'm over here, moon-child." She stiffens slightly but swivels herself around.

"How did you know my name?" She seems to see straight through him yet not at all. Loki finds himself captivated by large silver eyes.

"I did not. Though, Moon-child is a rather unusual name. Will you keep the suffix even through adult hood?"

"It's Luna. It means moon. Did you know?"

Loki nods. Of course he knows this. But Loki does not believe in coincidences, rather it's, "Fate."

"Oh!" This girl is too trusting. This is wrong. He is not a good man! Not a man but a monster.

He says as much. The girl-Luna- just smiles. "I'll get papa."

She skips out of the room. But it's different. As if every step is place carefully and exact but still confident, rehearsed even. She stops precisely one step before the battered green door frame. Her hands reach out to grasp the long wooden beam, clutching on. She stumbles a bit. Then, just as diligently, she seems to dance her way out.

Loki watches all this in fascination. But really he does not care to think up a conclusion to his observations, of he grow more curious, he will ask. He sits there contemplating for a while. He only wished to escape Thanos, he wanted protection and a sanctuary. Why has fate delivered him to a child?

When Luna returns, it is her mother who accompanies her holding her hand, not her father.

"Loki, my name is Loki of-" he pauses, because really he has nowhere to claim his own. "of... Mischief." Because it is the only thing he can say. Then Luna smiles, she reaches her hands up and traces her fingers over his features, smoothing out hard lines in his forehead, the creases in his eyelids, his long nose and his lips which grin back towards her.

Yes, she is a strange child. But he does not mind it, he craves a warm touch, this intimacy of wide-eyed innocence. Luna's mother only smiles down.

"Good," says Luna, "you're happy now."

The child can be no older than four earth-years, yet she seems to understand...

"Luna can't see." Her mother says, as if he had been questioning her behaviour. "But she copes well, my Lune, for a world of darkness."

Luna nods but she still beams back brightly. But Loki frowns. World of darkness indeed, even with sight his world I full of pitch black.

"You are blind, child?" She nods once more. "Have your kind no wizardry that can grant you sight?"

"No," her mother answers for her. "You aren't a wizard, are you? But you can't be a muggle... What are you?"

"Jotun. I am descent of the Jotun, but born and raised in Asguard."

The mother looks on quizzically. "Who?"

"Frost-Giant." This seems to ring bells. Her hand reaches for what must be her wand.

"Luna dear, go get Mr Loki some water." She says, her eyes do not stray from his.

"Okay."

When she leaves, Loki sighs. "Is it not unwise for her to carry water with her condition?"

"Why're you hear?" It is not hostile, rather it is friendly but guarded.

"Fate?" He answers weakly.

"What about reason?"

Alas, "I only wished for a sanctuary." His only reason.

The mother nods and swishes her wand in a precise pattern. A blue rabbit forms in whispers, hopping around her figure. They seem to communicate mentally and just like that, it's gone. Loki has never seen anything more beautiful.

"What was that?!"

"A patronus, my patronus. It's a piece of my soul, my happiest memory, the one I love most!"

Loki decides he likes mortal magic, it is not trickery based like his own- at its core is love. Inconvenient as it is for emotion based magic, it's more powerful.

His moon returns with a pale pink glass of water that doesn't sparkle like on Asguard. Attentively, she holds it towards his lips. Loki lets her feed him though he is most capable of handling the beverage himself. It's a nice feeling, not having to do anything. Not having to worry or feel sad and lonely.

His Luna and her mama leave him.

Loki sleeps better than he has for a long time. He lets himself be unguarded and free because it won't last.

He regrets not saying goodbye. Because just after his last moments with her... After his presence...

She's snatched too quickly.


Luna is a very clever girl, even though she can't see she doesn't bump into the walls or trip down the stairs. Mr Loki is nice, he is cool, he is scary. Mama says he is dangerous (this means scary) and papa says he is fascinating (which is cool) and Luna thinks (and says) he is nice and funny and weird and lots of other things. Especially cool. Mr Loki laughs at this. Luna doesn't think she made a joke.

"Why're you laughing at me?"

This only makes him laugh more.

Luna always knows when Mr Loki is there, she feels his frosty breath and the little shakes his light footsteps make that are distinctively his. Hugs are nice. Mr Loki gives special hugs (that are nice). He is very tall and strong. His hands are big and bony and chilly and clammy. Mr Loki's hugs make her feel safe and surrounded as and like a fresh blanket. Luna tells mummy this, she just smiles. After this Mr Loki doesn't hug her as often, he still holds her hand though. Does Luna not give good hugs? She says this and he hugs her.

Mr Loki's face is very pretty. She knows this because she has felt it. It is very smooth. It has a long nose, nice smile, high cheekbones and nice crinkly eyelids. Ginny her bestest friend says that means Mr Loki is really pretty. Luna doesn't want Ginny to meet Mr Loki, she doesn't know why though. Maybe it's because everyone seems to like chatting to Ginny more. Luna knows this is because she can't see. But this does not show on the outside does it? And that's what really matters for people apparently.

Luna's favourite game is hide and seek. She really is quite good at it- almost as good as Fred and George (or is it Gred and Feorge?)! Mr Loki is also a fun player. He is best at hiding though. Even mummy can never find him. Only Luna can! Mr Loki says this is because she is not fooled by "deception" which is really just tricks. (Luna is also not fooled by big words)

Luna's favourite thing to do with Mr Loki is hearing about wonderful creatures and tales. Nargles that steal little trinkets and sound like a muffled swarm of chattering bees and wings that sound like snapping twigs. Wrackspurts that mess with your mind, filtering through your ears and make you forget what you were doing in the first place and narrow your mind and make you overlook things feeding you stupidity while they feast on your smarts. These don't frighten Luna because Mr Loki makes her charms to keep them away. He tells her of many others but, by far, Luna's favourite is the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks; exclusive to Sweden and are totally unforgettably forgettable (which is very contradictory) because once you see them you forget them instantly.

"Even through a picture?"

"Yes, even through a picture."

"How do you know they exist?!"

"You see, little moon. The trick is that you don't see them. You sense them. But I don't think that's a problem for you." He pauses, "Well, I mean some certain people can see them I suppose..."

"Can you see them?"

"Mmhmm," he hums, "but only in the corner of my eyes."

Luna never asks what they look like though. She never asks what anything looks like because to her it means nothing. She's already asked Ginny what things look like and she still doesn't know what red hair "looks" like.

Daddy likes Mr Loki. Mummy doesn't. Mr Loki mostly just likes Luna. Luna likes everyone. Which is nice... Because Luna doesn't like thinking nasty things.

It seems like forever but still not enough when mummy announces that Mr Loki has to go away. Which he obviously can't because he still needs to play with Luna and go on great adventures and sing lots of songs and play hide and seek and... Well he can't just leave! Luna decides this is the worst day of her life.

Mr Loki gives her a great big hug and she gives him three sloppy kisses on his nose, cheek and his other cheek. And Luna is crying. Mr Loki wipes her tears. He isn't crying.

He tells mother and father that he wants to give Luna a gift... Mr Loki has a present!

Luna hardly ever gets presents. And then he clasps his hands over her eyes and it almost feels as though his icy warm magic is stroking her eyelids. It's seeping through her and touching her every nerve like fire licking her magic and even through her heightened senses she can only barely hear her mummy crying out.

Luna doesn't realise it at first. She doesn't realise that her eyelids have just opened because well, they open all the time... It's no different from closing them to her.

Everything is so strong and loud and hot and cold and fresh and so intense! It's such an overwhelming sensation! She can really see... Not just interpreting, but looking. The world is so vibrant and busy and calm and so so so big! It's huge and like a sound that's been paused but you can still hear it. It's indescribable! The spicy richness which is hot and angry and passionate and sweet and just lovely. It's not only that though. There's so much more! Cool and creamy and fresh and clean and happy and sad and hopeful and calming and fun and- nothing. Everything is so crisp and rough and smooth and defined and ringing and... And... And then Luna faints.

When Luna wakes up. The world is too wow... Wow! Mr Loki's gift is... She can see. It's such a funny feeling! And there are things everywhere. Not a single blank spot! This is very great! Everything is as still as bright as it feels and sounds and tastes and smells but it’s a little less strong, it's darker. Closer (but nowhere near) to what she's used to. It's comforting. She knows this is Night.

But then she looks. Looks for Mr Loki and her mummy and daddy. She finds mummy, and there's daddy, both by her head. Apparently Mr Loki is long gone. She can still feel his cold lips on her cheek. She longs for his comforting embrace but. Gone. Just like he was never even here (but Luna has proof).

"Look a Nargle!" She points to nothing, to the mistletoe still hanging from last year's Christmas. But there really is a yucky little thing flitting about. Lots in fact. And the tiny little glowing things must be, "Wrackspurts!" Which are everywhere, floating lazily around her parents heads.

And there's so much more; blibbering humdingers playing around by the windowsill, heliopaths dancing in and out of the sputtering fireplace making ash skirt and sway and some she can't even name. She bats her hand at the wrackspurts which does nothing to make them go away.

"Mummy, daddy... I can see!" But for the first time she is the one seeing and everyone else is blind. Luna learns too quickly that seeing more is just as bad as seeing nothing. And there's not enough time.

There's never enough time. There's not enough time to learn not to care.

She's snatched too quickly.


A year later Loki comes back. Exactly a year later. Three-hundred and sixty-five days since he's seen his moon and felt her happiness (or any happiness really) He's horrible, oh he knows this so well, but he's greedy to. He can't feed off the sorrow he's caused himself and others, so instead he'll soak in her joy like a sponge.

He comes to find the round house easily. Just like he remembers really, maybe a little more overgrown and a little dustier but it's still the same yes. It's daytime and the door is unlocked, the house is quiet and calm. He breathes it in and sniffs at the air.

Something is very off. Hmmm...

There's footsteps and then-"She's gone. If you're looking for my sweet Luna, she's gone. THEY TOOK HER. BRING HER BACK." it's her father, but his eyes are not wide with wonder and fascination, they are peeled back with madness. "The red men took her, they took her, they... KILLED MY DARLING AND STOLE MY LUNA!"

Loki is strangely unresponsive at this point, even though his mind is in overdrive. Nothing seems to make sense. "Red... Red... Red men, you say?"

"No, yes.... I don't! BLACK SUITS AND RED SKULLS!" he exclaims, his eyes are all blood shot. And Loki feels no different than before which is bad, he came he for happiness, NOT madness. "I...-"

Everything else is just muted chaos now. There really isn't a point to anything really, he's losing this battle, his mind is slipping, and someone else is claiming it.

Loki blinks twice; his hands are stained red.

Because really she was snatched too quickly.

Part One Of http://archiveofourown.org/series/348479

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