With All My Love, Claudia Stillinski Jr
"To the ones I love, – Please read this before looking for me—
I know how cliché it is to say, but I wasn't always bad; I only began to push back upon the death of my mum. My dad couldn't handle two nutcase kids so he gave me over to my aunt and uncle (his brother and sister-in-law) whom had moved from England after hearing of the cancer – so yes Scott, hence the accent. I wouldn't say I wasn't grateful for their extraordinary care, but I knew as soon as I had to fight the monsters in my closet (occasionally literally) that being the appreciative, indebt niece with more problems than an entire psych ward was over. I had to lie. I never regretted it, still don't; the creatures I faced would have ripped their throats out in seconds if I did. That's probably why I am where I am today.
After being accused and convicted no one visited, hell, no one believed me in the beginning when I told them the truth about it all. I hadn't killed the kid, just my ex (his murderer). That was the thing though, no one believes in the werewolves that lurk, let alone that Mr. Perfect would ever pull a gun. The police even covered up the fact he had been abusing me! Not that it mattered anymore, he was dead and so was an innocent cub. Soon I would be dead to and my secrets would disappear with me.
Because that's what it was like, cancer. I'm slowly fading into the void of death with nothing good to remember myself by. That's the terrifying thing about having nothing; death has nothing to take from you.
I revel in the pain because I know I deserve it, realise that if I'd been better or stronger none of this would've happened: the boy would be alive, my friends would be alive and my family wouldn't have fallen so far apart. I truly recognise that I'm getting off easy but with my final weeks I wanted to help someone who needed and deserved it.
That's why I came here; it's why I pushed you all so much closer. I saw that Dad was barely strong enough to fight the after-effects of the heart-attack. I saw that you as a pack were not strongly linked and I saw that you were oblivious to where you needed to be and who with. I wasn't fazed by any of your hatred because I am -was- worthless. I just wanted for you to take care of each other and cherish what you could have; I needed you to hate me Stiles so it would be easier for you to let me go. Being your sister was the most difficult to leave behind when I changed – I despised the fact that I wouldn't be able to 'Geek-out' with you or hang with you and Scott. Your my brothers for eternity (whether you want to be or not).
Derek, you take care of Stiles for me. No matter how much of an a-hole either of you can be you balance each other out more than anyone else could see- you're the perfect match. I haven't really gotten to know you but I can tell you that it's okay to make mistakes as long as you mourn those lost and focus upon the present; something I realise seems hypercritical but I promise with my heart is not.
Kira, take care of Scott. He can be a stubborn d-bag but he's deep-down a lost puppy, which needs direction. Both of you are so matched and sweet it hurts and you both deserve the happiness you give to each other. I can't really say anything else you don't already know.
Lydia, you were the love of my brother (Stiles') life since third grade and thank G.O.D he moved on. No offence but Parrish is the guy best for you, he's the sweet to your bitchface and you are too perfect a friend for my lovably oblivious bro. You should relax about finding your powers and abilities though because I have sent messages to some close friends of mine and they have agreed to contact you about it. I would wish you luck but you don't need it.
Mum (Melissa) and Dad, you raised dumb and dumber awesomely and as much as I would've wished to have been there I know I would've messed it up. You both kept faith in my redemption until I told you not to and didn't treat me with disgust even when I treated myself that way. I hate that my other mum had to die for the fates to allow you this love but I know that you each at one point loved another anyway so I am glad you each got to live both ways and experience two different loves.
Cora, you know why I had to do this. The time is right, I can feel it.
Peter, I hate to leave after spending so much time with you. I wish I could spend so much more but I had no choice, I was dying a death that I had earned. Remember eternally tomorrow. Remember that revenge is only hurting you. Remember that you may have done evil but you can be better – I promise to take your sins with me to the grave. I'm not saying we are –were- in love but it was something, something so fantastic and raw that I feel like I didn't deserve it.
I don't want to leave. I love that I could help you before I pass and I enjoy the knowledge that I have at least righted even a few of my wrongs. I will miss you all, even those whom I have only heard the fond memories. As much as I would like it to hurt when I go, I realise that it would only hurt you more, so I will sleep. I will go to the place in the garden and lie in the sun and drift into oblivion. You will find me soon; I will see you again, I feel it. I write this with all my love, Claudia"
The group had read it, holding Peter back whilst Stiles spoke softly the words his sister had written so lovingly.
Walking across the grass to the oak was painfully slow, each of them needing to know she hadn't suffered, yet not wanting to see her corpse lying cold as pewter on the dirt.
As they stumbled onto the circle of dirt surrounded by flowers they saw her lying peacefully. Peter ran to her, Stiles and Scott collapsed upon each other – their partners following suit—, Melissa and the Sherriff hung tightly to one another whilst Lydia questioned the entire event: Why hadn't she screamed? The question answered itself when the body –once motionless- sprang to life, children appearing instantaneous with the outburst.
The most peculiar part of all were the children running to each person calling them by familial names (mom,dad,papa,granddad, auntie…) some begging for people long dead in Lydia's world but she could feel – an unexplainable feeling – that that fact was no longer true. Not technically. And that…that made her scream.
